[Oh, he's glad that his little baked good offering was well received. Of any hobby he decided to pick up, stress baking has by far been the most useful for just, cheering people up or helping others. Don't get him wrong, he loves photography and magic, but baking always ends up touching people in way he never expected when he started learning how to do it.]
Sure man, if you don't mind.
[He'll slip inside if he offers and then rub the back of his neck a little. It's always awkward starting these conversations, but-!]
I hope this doesn't come too far out of left field, but if there's like any kind of food you want at any point, that maybe you miss from home or something, you can hit me up. I've made a lot of different stuff over the years because I've got a lot of friends from around the multiverse.
[ Lodi may have entered this conversation with no preconceptions about what it concerned, but that doesn't mean he doesn't notice the body language. He shuts the door behind Dipper with a gentle hand, then ambles over to the table set up in the inn room with tupperware in hand.
He seats himself at the table, lifting both his head and his eyebrows with a warm smile. He knows Dipper means well – he just doesn't know where this all is coming from, exactly. Had he seemed more downtrodden than usual, as of late? He certainly didn't think so... was he slipping? ]
Out of left field or not, I appreciate it. Since you seem at least aware of it, though, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask – is there a reason you're offering all of a sudden?
[He's perceptive, or Dipper's terrible poker face strikes again.]
Oh, well, you know. It's important that all of us help each other out. We're all lost in this place for one reason or another, and it meant a lot to me that someone reached out and made sure I wasn't alone.
[Because remembers two years ago, the way he curled up under the ruined desk of his uncles, in the burned remains of his family's home from another life, and fell asleep wishing he had them with him.]
[He pauses a little, because he knows he's laying it a little thick and he really doesn't want to lie to Lodi so-]
The uh, the lights. I might have seen something of yours, and we don't like, have to talk about it or anything, but I guess I just wanted you to know that you're not alone, dude. Like- I can't in good conscious say I get what ...what all you went through, but I do get some of it.
[ Little bit of column A, little bit of column B. Obvious about it or not, Lodi is trained to discern behavioral patterns. That, coupled with a dangerously sharp emotional intelligence, makes him... not uniquely suited to sniff out this very thing, but certainly well-suited to it.
He can sense that Dipper is meandering to a point that he isn't sure how to make. When he does make it, Lodi – isn't as upset as he might have been, if all that had occurred to him was new. He's well-aware of how much observation had been threaded through nearly his entire life at this point. It being viewed by other mortal eyes is somehow far easier to swallow.
The implication there, though, troubles him. ]
... I appreciate that. I don't mind talking about it if you'd like to. Even if it's just to solidify some of that common ground. And, to be honest with you, I can't help but be a little curious about what you specifically saw.
[He wouldn't have been shocked if he was upset. It's reasonable to be upset when something out of your control shares a bunch of your personal biz without your consent. Lodi handles it pretty chill, really.]
[He wasn't tense or anything, but there is something that relaxes a touch when he confesses and Lodi takes it in stride. Dipper is an empath, which makes potentially emotional conversations a bit bracing, if he isn't sure what he's walking into. Luckily his pendant filters out most of the emotional feedback unless its particularly strong.]
It was a pretty complicated memory, it showed me a lot. A ringing phone, you being pulled off earth, something that looked very apocalyptic and ...
[He winces a little.]
Things got a little weird and metaphysical, I think. "The Nine" stands out to me, but I don't think I grasped everything I saw.
[ Ah! It had seen fit to show Dipper the whole kit and caboodle. Lodi winces just enough for it to be visible, reaching a hand up to nudge at his glasses. Most would probably be bristling over having such a visceral recollection shoved down any and everyone's throats if they happened to walk by, but… even if he had severe misgivings, it would be easy enough to swallow them.
Besides. It wasn’t Dipper’s fault. ]
Ah, yeah, that. Well, I – first of all, I'm sorry that it saw fit to give you the whole rundown, and also that you could relate to it at all. The, uh, Nine, are – not fantastic at conveying information in a palatable way even firsthand! I can only imagine how disorienting it would’ve been secondhand.
[ Lodi spreads his hands with a humorless smile. ]
And, um, unfortunately you did witness an apocalypse level event. Of a sort. I hope that particular bit wasn’t familiar to you.
[It probably helps that he's a little bit Eldritch in his own right, when it comes to digesting stuff like this. He is both resistant and a sponge for the kind of stuff that would drive people insane.]
...yeah, about that.
[He also smiles in a very humorless way.]
The first time wasn't a full-blown end of the world, it was localized to a small area and orchestrated by megalomaniac nightmare demon who tried to turn my universe into an eternal frat-party of chaos. It was a lot worse in practice than how I described it, but we kept it from spreading, and it only lasted about a week before we took care of the demon. The ...second time, it was a lot less violent, but I was trapped in a realm that slowly broke down over time, and collapses on itself. That entire world fell away.
[So yeah, more he kind of gets.]
That wasn't what I was originally going to bring up, but yeah, that definitely also counts.
[ More than anything, there is a bitter draught of regret that pools on Lodi's tongue. It was one thing to have himself twisted inside and out, to bear witness to the end of a world: it was another thing entirely to hear that it had happened to another. He had had more than his fair share of troubles grappling with the reality of the end of one world, and it wasn't as though he was present when it happened.
His brow furrows. ]
I'm sorry. I – can't imagine what that must have been like. I'm... lucky, I suppose, to have witnessed it all secondhand. The fact that you had to endure all that, I... well. As nice as it might be to not be alone in all this, it's one of those things where...
[ He huffs out a quick breath. ]
I really would've rather been alone in all this. I really am deeply sorry.
[Lodi seems like a really nice guy, and it's a real shame that he's caught up in something like this. He probably should have expected that bringing some of this up would have made him feel awfully sympathetic. He got that vibe alone from their conversation over the netbook.]
[It might be a little tricky to navigate this without the poor guy feeling worse for him, which is not what he wants. Dipper ...handles his business pretty good, he thinks. He knows what he's been through is rough and more than unfair, but he's fine. He's got his feet under him.]
It's cool man. If it's one thing you can't do much about, it's an apocalypse.
[Even if he did blame himself for a long time over the circumstances of the first one, but he doesn't want to get into that.]
Anyway, what I really wanted to say was, I know what it's like to have been put in a situation that was framed as a "choice" but it really never was one, and you're stuck making the best of a situation. Picking up a phone or walking through a door... I know what it's like not to be able to go home.
[ They're having a empathy-off. Lodi, for his part, is... largely equally as objective, but god, he's has, what, two decades on Dipper? He threads his fingers together and lets his head hang for a moment. There is a part of him that distantly rebels at the idea of being comforted, but he also knows how healing it could be to commiserate.
He won't rail against this. It would be cruel, for one. For two – even allowing this connection didn't mean he would be shoveling his burdens onto Dipper's shoulders. God forbid. No, this was just – understanding. ]
... I appreciate that. Really, I do. At the very least, I can say that it's enabled me to meet some truly incredible people. See some truly incredible things, too.
[ He nods his head, slowly. ] Would've really loved to see a midwestern autumn at least one last time, though. Funny how the things that all started to seem a little commonplace get so special when you know you'll never see it again, huh?
no subject
Sure man, if you don't mind.
[He'll slip inside if he offers and then rub the back of his neck a little. It's always awkward starting these conversations, but-!]
I hope this doesn't come too far out of left field, but if there's like any kind of food you want at any point, that maybe you miss from home or something, you can hit me up. I've made a lot of different stuff over the years because I've got a lot of friends from around the multiverse.
no subject
He seats himself at the table, lifting both his head and his eyebrows with a warm smile. He knows Dipper means well – he just doesn't know where this all is coming from, exactly. Had he seemed more downtrodden than usual, as of late? He certainly didn't think so... was he slipping? ]
Out of left field or not, I appreciate it. Since you seem at least aware of it, though, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask – is there a reason you're offering all of a sudden?
no subject
Oh, well, you know. It's important that all of us help each other out. We're all lost in this place for one reason or another, and it meant a lot to me that someone reached out and made sure I wasn't alone.
[Because remembers two years ago, the way he curled up under the ruined desk of his uncles, in the burned remains of his family's home from another life, and fell asleep wishing he had them with him.]
[He pauses a little, because he knows he's laying it a little thick and he really doesn't want to lie to Lodi so-]
The uh, the lights. I might have seen something of yours, and we don't like, have to talk about it or anything, but I guess I just wanted you to know that you're not alone, dude. Like- I can't in good conscious say I get what ...what all you went through, but I do get some of it.
no subject
He can sense that Dipper is meandering to a point that he isn't sure how to make. When he does make it, Lodi – isn't as upset as he might have been, if all that had occurred to him was new. He's well-aware of how much observation had been threaded through nearly his entire life at this point. It being viewed by other mortal eyes is somehow far easier to swallow.
The implication there, though, troubles him. ]
... I appreciate that. I don't mind talking about it if you'd like to. Even if it's just to solidify some of that common ground. And, to be honest with you, I can't help but be a little curious about what you specifically saw.
no subject
[He wasn't tense or anything, but there is something that relaxes a touch when he confesses and Lodi takes it in stride. Dipper is an empath, which makes potentially emotional conversations a bit bracing, if he isn't sure what he's walking into. Luckily his pendant filters out most of the emotional feedback unless its particularly strong.]
It was a pretty complicated memory, it showed me a lot. A ringing phone, you being pulled off earth, something that looked very apocalyptic and ...
[He winces a little.]
Things got a little weird and metaphysical, I think. "The Nine" stands out to me, but I don't think I grasped everything I saw.
no subject
Besides. It wasn’t Dipper’s fault. ]
Ah, yeah, that. Well, I – first of all, I'm sorry that it saw fit to give you the whole rundown, and also that you could relate to it at all. The, uh, Nine, are – not fantastic at conveying information in a palatable way even firsthand! I can only imagine how disorienting it would’ve been secondhand.
[ Lodi spreads his hands with a humorless smile. ]
And, um, unfortunately you did witness an apocalypse level event. Of a sort. I hope that particular bit wasn’t familiar to you.
no subject
...yeah, about that.
[He also smiles in a very humorless way.]
The first time wasn't a full-blown end of the world, it was localized to a small area and orchestrated by megalomaniac nightmare demon who tried to turn my universe into an eternal frat-party of chaos. It was a lot worse in practice than how I described it, but we kept it from spreading, and it only lasted about a week before we took care of the demon. The ...second time, it was a lot less violent, but I was trapped in a realm that slowly broke down over time, and collapses on itself. That entire world fell away.
[So yeah, more he kind of gets.]
That wasn't what I was originally going to bring up, but yeah, that definitely also counts.
no subject
His brow furrows. ]
I'm sorry. I – can't imagine what that must have been like. I'm... lucky, I suppose, to have witnessed it all secondhand. The fact that you had to endure all that, I... well. As nice as it might be to not be alone in all this, it's one of those things where...
[ He huffs out a quick breath. ]
I really would've rather been alone in all this. I really am deeply sorry.
no subject
[It might be a little tricky to navigate this without the poor guy feeling worse for him, which is not what he wants. Dipper ...handles his business pretty good, he thinks. He knows what he's been through is rough and more than unfair, but he's fine. He's got his feet under him.]
It's cool man. If it's one thing you can't do much about, it's an apocalypse.
[Even if he did blame himself for a long time over the circumstances of the first one, but he doesn't want to get into that.]
Anyway, what I really wanted to say was, I know what it's like to have been put in a situation that was framed as a "choice" but it really never was one, and you're stuck making the best of a situation. Picking up a phone or walking through a door... I know what it's like not to be able to go home.
no subject
He won't rail against this. It would be cruel, for one. For two – even allowing this connection didn't mean he would be shoveling his burdens onto Dipper's shoulders. God forbid. No, this was just – understanding. ]
... I appreciate that. Really, I do. At the very least, I can say that it's enabled me to meet some truly incredible people. See some truly incredible things, too.
[ He nods his head, slowly. ] Would've really loved to see a midwestern autumn at least one last time, though. Funny how the things that all started to seem a little commonplace get so special when you know you'll never see it again, huh?