[Wolfwood maybe doesn't realize how he's kindof triggered Vash with those words, but rest assured it was completely unintentional. That feeling from earlier, that burning desire to make Vash hurt? It's...not gone, not necessarily, but it has definitely been buried now that he realizes that Vash has been hurting. He's been hurting every moment of every day, trying to do the right thing, trying to keep the people closest to him safe. An impossible task, especially for someone who invites chaos simply by existing.
Initially, Wolfwood's brain...definitely hears what Vash starts to say wrong. "I wish I could say you could trust me" makes him bristle because it's the exact thing he hates that Vash does, where he'll say one thing and Vash goes "cool, anyway maybe don't". But before he can act on that feeling, Vash has suddenly gotten to his feet and has joined him at the bedside, not on the bed, but quite literally knelt in front of it as if in prayer. Vash is here, clearly beginning to become overwhelmed with some sense of panicked frenzy, and there's a good moment or two where Wolfwood simply does not know what to do. He knows, at least, that speaking right now would be unwise, which is why he keeps his mouth shut and lets this play out.
At first, the sentiment is a lot of what Wolfwood has heard from Vash before. Similar, yet framed in a different light. Less of a "you don't deserve a fuck up like me", and more "I don't want you to die for me". And maybe that's been what it is all along. Maybe.
And Wolfwood really wants to ask Vash, honestly, if he could do the same. Could he resist throwing his life away for Wolfwood? Could he? Because he knows the answer to that is no.
It's so hard. It's so fucking hard to know what to do in this situation, because it doesn't seem like there's an answer either of them will be happy with, in the end.]
...needle-noggin.
[Tongari, he says. It feels like a long time since he's called him that, somehow.]
You're actin' as if I want to die. I'm reckless. I'm a stupid asshole. But you know me. If shit starts getting hairy and I ain't got a reason to be there...I don't stick around.
If I wanted to die like that, I've had a hundred thousand ways to make that happen. I ain't a self sacrificing type, like you.
...and I wish you could tell me that you wouldn't throw yourself in front of a bullet for me, but I know you would. Even if it meant I lost you. Cause that's what you live for. ...right?
[His voice is softer now. Low, like he's saying something meant only for the two of them to hear.]
...if I made you think that you can't ever talk about yourself to me ever again, I'm sorry. That's...not what I meant. If this is gonna work, I need to hear how you feel, too. Just as long as it doesn't mean you talking over me.
[And as if to prove that, to prove to Vash that he means what he says, Vash will feel Wolfwood reach out and place a hand on his head even if he's not looking, his thumb brushing over the edge of it to pull some of his bangs out of his eyes.]
cw: suicidal ideation implication, just in case
Initially, Wolfwood's brain...definitely hears what Vash starts to say wrong. "I wish I could say you could trust me" makes him bristle because it's the exact thing he hates that Vash does, where he'll say one thing and Vash goes "cool, anyway maybe don't". But before he can act on that feeling, Vash has suddenly gotten to his feet and has joined him at the bedside, not on the bed, but quite literally knelt in front of it as if in prayer. Vash is here, clearly beginning to become overwhelmed with some sense of panicked frenzy, and there's a good moment or two where Wolfwood simply does not know what to do. He knows, at least, that speaking right now would be unwise, which is why he keeps his mouth shut and lets this play out.
At first, the sentiment is a lot of what Wolfwood has heard from Vash before. Similar, yet framed in a different light. Less of a "you don't deserve a fuck up like me", and more "I don't want you to die for me". And maybe that's been what it is all along. Maybe.
And Wolfwood really wants to ask Vash, honestly, if he could do the same. Could he resist throwing his life away for Wolfwood? Could he? Because he knows the answer to that is no.
It's so hard. It's so fucking hard to know what to do in this situation, because it doesn't seem like there's an answer either of them will be happy with, in the end.]
...needle-noggin.
[Tongari, he says. It feels like a long time since he's called him that, somehow.]
You're actin' as if I want to die. I'm reckless. I'm a stupid asshole. But you know me. If shit starts getting hairy and I ain't got a reason to be there...I don't stick around.
If I wanted to die like that, I've had a hundred thousand ways to make that happen. I ain't a self sacrificing type, like you.
...and I wish you could tell me that you wouldn't throw yourself in front of a bullet for me, but I know you would. Even if it meant I lost you. Cause that's what you live for. ...right?
[His voice is softer now. Low, like he's saying something meant only for the two of them to hear.]
...if I made you think that you can't ever talk about yourself to me ever again, I'm sorry. That's...not what I meant. If this is gonna work, I need to hear how you feel, too. Just as long as it doesn't mean you talking over me.
[And as if to prove that, to prove to Vash that he means what he says, Vash will feel Wolfwood reach out and place a hand on his head even if he's not looking, his thumb brushing over the edge of it to pull some of his bangs out of his eyes.]