Pure Vanilla! My friend, you are in for a treat.

[He keeps his hands in his lap with both of them gently clutching the controller, gesturing towards the TV with it.]

You recall the race we were forced to participate in earlier this month? Well, this game is like that, except you race in karts instead of as animals. The first person to make it a certain amount of laps around a course wins! Sounds simple enough, yes?

[He moves on to the character select screen, then offers Pure Vanilla the controller.]

Would you like to try? I can teach you what the controls do.