sticksandbones | Go home and say goodbye forever

[It starts subtle, Dipper wakes up, goes about his routine, walks to work, and finds himself lingering near the tree line a little longer than usual. He shakes it off and keeps walking, finding it strange to get distracted like that, but doesn't pay it much mind. Work goes over fine, Dipper leaves a little after lunch to work on some photography and it hits him again.]

[He loses track of time and finds himself looking out at the forest.]

[For a moment the thought slips by, unbidden: "I should head in," but he shakes it away again, rattled now, with a creeping sense of dread. Before his heart can truly make the connection, he stifles it back down and walks with some urgency to the Inn to work.]

[He barely gets anything done, his thoughtrs refusing to settle on what he wants to do and instead flit back and forth between the forest, and the horror of what that might be implying, and refusal to acknowledge it any further. If he does, he'll half to admit what he thinks is happening, and in it would just kickstart the process. It will just get worse.]

[He finally has his family back, they have a nice house, this place is nice the people are nice, he doesn't want to go.]

["But I should go."]

[Dipper all but bolts out of the Inn, and he runs without regards to anything or anyone in his way. He barely remembers it, honestly, it's just a cloud of panic and denial as he rushes to get home as fast as he can. Of course the forest looms all around him, encroaching closer the further out he gets. Their house is, of course, nestled in the arms of the forest and always has been.]

[By the time he crashes through the door, he's out of breath and his chest hurts so bad it feels like someones put him in a stone press. Rather than catch his breath though, he gasps and starts to hyperventilate. He doesn't want to go, he doesn't want to go, and now he can't breathe and he's about to lose everything again, and if he has to watch someone else's back, too, he can't deal with it. Oh god, why does everything hurt so bad, he can't see, he can't breathe, fuck, fuck, fuck-]

[To any Stans in the house, the sound of the door slamming open is soon punctuated by the familiar sounds of Alcaid in a great deal of distress, sounding his alarm.]

[ Ford, it turns out, is not just in the house—he's right near the front door, in the kitchen. The sound of the door suddenly slamming makes him jump, but Alcaid's sounds of distress are what what him stepping out of the kitchen and into the foyer proper. ]

Dipper?

[ For the moment, he sounds more confused than alarmed. Probably because he's clearly been interrupted in the middle of something! He's wearing thick rubber gloves, along with a pair of safety goggles strapped over his glasses. In one hand he holds an Erlenmeyer flask full of a clear bubbling liquid, and in the other a beaker containing a shard of crystalized dead Dipper. ]

What's going on?

[Stan comes out in the foyer not long after Ford. He's got one sleeve pushed up as high as it'll go, and that hand is engulfed in blue flames. He skipped the rubber gloves (since they would have just melted) and even though he has goggles they weren't actually on - just dangling around his neck. Seems like he was giving Ford a hand, literally!

That isn't important anymore though. Dipper looks extremely rattled, and Stan puts out his fire immediately.]

Dipper, breathe. Did something happen?

[He shakes his head for a moment, and keeps gasping while clutching at his chest. By now there are hot, horrified tears streaming down his face, but he seems to be trying to get a handle on it.]

[Finally he raises a finger up so he can at least tell them to give him a second. He needs to ride this out. The upset is too strong at he has to work it through his system. In the meantime, Alcaid flutters over to Stan once his fire is out (since Ford's hands are full of dead Dipper and science.)]

I-I don't- [His voice cracks despite his best efforts but he tries again.] I don't want to go-!

[ Oh... oh no. Ford actually doesn't freeze, but when his hands are full of science he's not able to do much more than stand there. Still, for the first time in his life he doesn't look happy to be on the verge of doing something reckless and chemistry-based. ]

Go where—

[ Wait, hold on, that's not important. ]

—Dipper, you don't have to go anywhere?

[ He's not worried he's going to be kicked out, is he? ]

[Stan holds his hands out instinctively for Alcaid to flutter into, but that does sort of leave his hands full too. Maybe that's fine though? Maybe that's Alcaid asking him to give Dipper a minute, to not rush over and touch him right now.]

Yeah kid, you-- no one's going anywhere, alright?

[No one, not Dipper, not Ford. Not even Stan, no matter how many times on and off he's had his thoughts drift to the forest today.]

We're right here. So what's going on?

It's the forest-

[He's had a few moments now, to try and calm down. He gets his breathing under control. His uncles are both here. The door behind him is shut. For now he can't hear the call.]

[At the same time, Dipper suddenly looks pained at the thought of explaining. If he says it out loud, won't that just set it in stone? And then as if that thought was enough to set him off again, he chokes on some horrible combination of a sob and a gasp. Finally, he realizes he has to say something or he might just fucking die fromt his.]

I-It's trying to call me.

[Like it did to Fel. Like it did to Beat. Like the ocean called to Stan. Like it called to him and Mabel in the end-]

[ Oh.

Ford is suddenly not so concerned about the fact that he's holding very hot objects in his hand. He sets them aside, directly onto one of the hallway tables they inherited along with the rest of the house.

He doesn't say anything immediately, however, glancing pointedly at Stan first. He's also been thinking about the forest today, though not so urgently as to send him into hysterics. But somehow, he thinks Dipper might take that worse than being the only one. ]

This started today?

[Stan glances at Ford too - they haven't spoken directly about it much, but there's a reason Stan is playing lab partner today when he so rarely does. They've both needed the distraction.

In comes Ford with the practical, diagnostic questions - which isn't a bad thing. Someone has to ask them. But Stan has to think more on what he's going to say, since he has the power to screw it up extremely badly if he doesn't do it right. He's in silent agreement with Ford though. The waterworks will start again if he admits he's been thinking about it too.]

...Yeah, well. The forest can hold its horses, because you're not going anywhere without us.

Edited 2024-11-24 23:32 (UTC)

Yeah, I- [Another deep breath, he has a little more of his composure.] It was on my way to work. It's ...it's been with me all day, I can barely focus on anything.

[It's there now, he's just doing everything he can to ignore it. It's not compelling him out, yet, though, at least. For however long that will last.]

[Stan's words to take the wind out of him, though. Because ...well. Obviously he didn't want to go, but even more, he didn't want to go alone. He doesn't want to be the one to leave everyone behind this time. He didn't want this to happen again, not so soon.]

[He doesn't know if he can fight it, because eventually Fel couldn't and had to leave. Beat just completely seemed to lose himself entirely. He doesn't know what this will mean for him, but-]

[He holds his arms out, not unlike the time he did when he was much younger and distraught after his first death. Maybe if he holds onto them, then Stan's words will stay true.]

I don't want to go.

[ Stan doesn't say it out loud–hasn't said it out loud all day–but it's easy enough to draw the correct conclusion. That's all three of them feeling some strange calling to the forest. Obviously there's some sort of strange magical influence over them. Possibly fae, though likely not psionic since Ford is feeling it too.

None of which matters in the face of Dipper so plaintively reaching out to both of them like that. Ford steps forward, unhesitating, sliding one (still gloved, still warm hand) around Dipper's shoulders. He doesn't go into the full hug until Stan moves in as well. Until then... ]

I suppose we could try locking ourselves in the the basement until it passes...?

It's okay, kid. You're not going anywhere.

[Of course Stan goes in for the hug. He can be a stubborn old man sometimes, but he's never going to turn it down when Dipper is actively reaching out to him. It turns into one big group hug.]

That's not gonna work, Poindexter. We'd have to lock it from the outside somehow, and all of us are too good at getting out of locked rooms anyway.

[They should really have a contest one day, to see who can do it the fastest. But right now, in Stan and Ford's hug, Dipper himself is not going anywhere - just as promised.]

Edited 2024-12-08 20:28 (UTC)

Go home and say goodbye forever

Early November. cw: panic attack

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