[Dachie is thoroughly enjoying this treatment thank you. He tries to sound cute, like how puppies will whine at you when they want something, but instead it's a horrifying barn owl noise and Thorns looks between him and Elysium like "uh" while Dachie enthusiastically licks Elysium's hand.
...
So he's friendly. Thorns thinks. But yeah, this is clearly someone else's room, so let's move on.]
He leaves his door open? [Yeah that's Dachie's room and Ain's room2 for when he's upset and needs to compartmentalize all his emotions away from everyone, duh. Anyway, down the hall they go. After testing several in a row, Thorns happens across an empty one at the end of the hall, undecorated and clean in that way that inns tend to be. Way, way too clean. Scarily clean.] Here's one.
[He just met the guy, he doesn't know how Ain lives his life.
He will, however, give Dachie one more headscritch before waving goodbye and following Thorns on down the hallway, poking his head into the room they find behind him.]
Oooh yeah, this is definitely a free one. It doesn't look lived in at all!
[He saunters his way over to the bed, taking a seat on the edge of it. Honestly, he'd argue it's cozier than his quarters at Rhodes. Maybe it's the atmosphere though, this is like a cabin while Rhodes is all metal and cold.]
I'll let you sleep by the window, if you want.
[.................oh okay you're just living in the room WITH him you just decided that]
[Thorns is currently toeing his boots off as he says that, and taking off those extraneous bits on his outfit. The cape, the jewellery, all that stuff.]
...I'm kidding. How many years have we been roommates now? [Which is why he's just. Stripping, apparently.] You're just as easy to mess with as you were day one.
[Yeah you'd better be kidding he was actually starting to worry-
But that worry immediately disappears and he's all smiles again, practically cooing as he leans his weight forward on the heels of his hands. He could be dressing down a bit himself, but he's not. He's just.
Watching. Watching Thorns while he strips. It's fine.]
I am not! You're just so...genuine, you know? It's hard not to believe what you say.
Thorns is taking his braid out, and that tiny ponytail he normally wears. Darting around the room, finding places to put things... he does wish he had decent winter clothing, and warm pyjamas suddenly. The man is a mess on the best day, but it's still the least bit cold.
His eyes dart to the pillows on the bed, then to Elysium. Hm.]
I was being sarcastic. [Thorns, buddy, you do not ever sound sarcastic.]
Thorns walks over to the bed now, standing in front of Elysium now, a single brow very subtly raised. It's those little microexpressions that Elysium can read better than Thorns' "sarcasm", apparently.
There's an obvious suggestion there. Elysium could take his coat off, and probably in his mind, he wants Thorns to say "we could cuddle :)" even though Thorns has never made those suggestions in his life. Instead, he leans closer, grabbing the edge of Elysium's coat like he's going to take it off for him.
His expression is completely unreadable. Or, he hopes it is, anyway.]
[Elysium likes to think he can read Thorns very well, even though he absolutely cannot. He reads him better than most, make no mistake, but there's still a lot that flies right over his head. So yes, he notices that little brow raise. And when Thorns comes over and takes the edge of his coat, he sort of forgets to breathe for a moment.
Ahaha-]
Ah...w-well. I mean. It is getting pretty warm in here, haha...
[But like. If Thorns wanted to cuddle, Elysium wouldn't say NO...]
Thorns, a man with absolutely zero rizz, leans in really close. Like, really obnoxiously close, to where Elysium will no doubt feel his quick breaths.]
[On god, if Thorns had grabbed his coat and got any closer before breaking the tension, Elysium might have snapped and tried to kiss him, it's the romantic movie tension his chance was right there-
But no. He gets walloped in the face with a pillow the moment his heart begins to race, causing him to let loose a very bird-like squeal muffled into that pillow as he falls straight back onto the bed. Comically so.
He pops back up a second later, beet red with his feathers so fluffed his head looks massive.]
You-! You-!!!
[SNATCHES UP THE OTHER PILLOW AND WHIPS IT AT THORNS LIKE-
[Oblivious as always, Thorns takes that pillow to the face (it slides down his face and chest, and hits the floor) and just starts fucking laughing about it. It's a quiet laugh, nothing too boisterous (he never is), but he's still grinning as he picks it back up and goes in for a second strike.
This is what men do at sleepovers. Gay pillow fights.]
Elysium is so frazzled he almost doesn't fully register that Thorns is laughing, as quiet as he is. But he hears it well enough, and it causes something to roil hot in his chest as he gets hit in the face full-on a second time before catching and hurling the pillow that was thrown at him back.]
[Everyone who sees you two thinks you're fucking married. If they saw this shit, double-assumed married. Juana definitely thinks they're married and Thorns is like, completely oblivious to this. And there's a high chance Rose Salts probably looked at Elysium like "so your husband—".
Anyway, Thorns dodges that pillow like one would dodge a projectile mid fight, and then disappears swiftly out of the room. He comes back a moment later hauling three different pillows with him that he undoubtedly pilfered from adjacent empty rooms, hurling them in succession at Elysium.
[As Thorns arrives with MORE AMMO, Elysium lifts a hand to point, as if to be like "HEY NO FAIR", but before he can say anything he's getting pelted again. You'd think he'd be better at dodging but no, he's getting hit by each and every one, though that's probably because he's starting to go breathless from laughing too hard. They literally sound like children up here stomping around and throwing things at each other.]
You never- Umph-! Struck me as a man who would play dirty-!!
[Shut up you didn't become a pirate until like a month ago, this is Not core to your identity you're a nerd.
But, it's fine, because the more pillows he throws (all of them) the less ammo he has, which puts him literally against a wall over here. Your move, Elysium, he's run out.]
Thorns, forced on the back foot here, puts both hands up to try to deflect. It works only somewhat, the pillow is still smacking him in the face regardless. Whap whap whap—]
It would only be a fair fight if I were also— [pwah] —armed!
[He attempts to shuffle over to grab a fallen pillow from the nest of those on the floors, and tries to parry the strikes.]
[Thorns will be successful, because Elysium is starting to get a little winded. He's still laughing inbetween breaths as he meets Thorns' strikes with his own, and if these pillows happen to have down in them, there are probably little feathers floating around in the air by now.]
Fair? You came at me without any warning! That's hardly fair!
You had— [bleh bleh feather in mouth, whether it's one of Elysium's or a pillow feather is unknown,] —your chance to gauge my movements before I struck.
[He was gauging how close your lips were to his, Thorns. He was not watching anything else. Please you have got to stop being this oblivious.
Anyway. Thorns tries smacking Elysium with a now almost-empty pillowcase, realises that it's empty, leans down to try to grab another... loses his footing completely and falls back onto the mattress instead.
[It's a good thing these rooms repair themselves. Hopefully that includes what's in them too...these poor pillows.
Anyway, when Thorns falls back, Elysium takes this as his opportunity to pounce. He springs forward with his own pillow and plants a knee on the mattress between Thorns' legs (he's not even trying to make this suggestive this time, but oops) so he can smash the pillow he's holding (gently) right into his face.
[Thorns is Squashed. Might as well smother him with that sucker while he's down here because you Know his ass ain't slept in ??????? anyway— if he were a meaner overly-competitive roommate, he might've kicked Elysium between the legs, but instead he tries to reach up for his arms and then (gently) shoves at the Liberi's thighs with his bare feet. Trying to push him away, but not hurt him.]
If I [whap] admit defeat— [it's hard to talk like this, actually,] —I'll never hear the end of—
[This is hopeless. He has to un-smother himself. Of course his face will be all flushed when he can breathe again, and he's panting to catch his breath, dishevelled because of being ASSAILED via PILLOW... and Elysium's leg is between his. Feast your eyes on it, he's never going to look this way ever again.]
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[Patpatting Dachie's head. Who's a good dachie? He squishes his feathery cheeks up, causing his eyes to scrunch up. He's soft like a mochi.]
A fowlbeast and a dog mixed together, haha. But yeah, this room's probably Ain's. We might want to look a little further down.
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...
So he's friendly. Thorns thinks. But yeah, this is clearly someone else's room, so let's move on.]
He leaves his door open? [Yeah that's Dachie's room and Ain's room2 for when he's upset and needs to compartmentalize all his emotions away from everyone, duh. Anyway, down the hall they go. After testing several in a row, Thorns happens across an empty one at the end of the hall, undecorated and clean in that way that inns tend to be. Way, way too clean. Scarily clean.] Here's one.
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[He just met the guy, he doesn't know how Ain lives his life.
He will, however, give Dachie one more headscritch before waving goodbye and following Thorns on down the hallway, poking his head into the room they find behind him.]
Oooh yeah, this is definitely a free one. It doesn't look lived in at all!
[He saunters his way over to the bed, taking a seat on the edge of it. Honestly, he'd argue it's cozier than his quarters at Rhodes. Maybe it's the atmosphere though, this is like a cabin while Rhodes is all metal and cold.]
I'll let you sleep by the window, if you want.
[.................oh okay you're just living in the room WITH him you just decided that]
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What if I wanted my own room?
[He doesn't. He's lying. But he wants to see how Elysium reacts to this, because messing with him is 24/7.]
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Wha- why? I mean...I guess if you really wanted, that's fine...but you'd still have to put up with me having a room across from yours!
[He will leave his door open so they can talk. You are not escaping him]
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[Thorns is currently toeing his boots off as he says that, and taking off those extraneous bits on his outfit. The cape, the jewellery, all that stuff.]
...I'm kidding. How many years have we been roommates now? [Which is why he's just. Stripping, apparently.] You're just as easy to mess with as you were day one.
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But that worry immediately disappears and he's all smiles again, practically cooing as he leans his weight forward on the heels of his hands. He could be dressing down a bit himself, but he's not. He's just.
Watching. Watching Thorns while he strips. It's fine.]
I am not! You're just so...genuine, you know? It's hard not to believe what you say.
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Thorns is taking his braid out, and that tiny ponytail he normally wears. Darting around the room, finding places to put things... he does wish he had decent winter clothing, and warm pyjamas suddenly. The man is a mess on the best day, but it's still the least bit cold.
His eyes dart to the pillows on the bed, then to Elysium. Hm.]
I was being sarcastic. [Thorns, buddy, you do not ever sound sarcastic.]
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Oh, really? I couldn't tell.
[Lmaoooo
Anyway! Elysium stretches his arms above his head...mmm.]
I should remove my coat...but it's so cold I don't really want to...mmm....
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Thorns walks over to the bed now, standing in front of Elysium now, a single brow very subtly raised. It's those little microexpressions that Elysium can read better than Thorns' "sarcasm", apparently.
There's an obvious suggestion there. Elysium could take his coat off, and probably in his mind, he wants Thorns to say "we could cuddle :)" even though Thorns has never made those suggestions in his life. Instead, he leans closer, grabbing the edge of Elysium's coat like he's going to take it off for him.
His expression is completely unreadable. Or, he hopes it is, anyway.]
Really?
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Ahaha-]
Ah...w-well. I mean. It is getting pretty warm in here, haha...
[But like. If Thorns wanted to cuddle, Elysium wouldn't say NO...]
1/2
Thorns, a man with absolutely zero rizz, leans in really close. Like, really obnoxiously close, to where Elysium will no doubt feel his quick breaths.]
I can think of a way to warm you up.
2/2
Pillow fight: Engaged.]
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But no. He gets walloped in the face with a pillow the moment his heart begins to race, causing him to let loose a very bird-like squeal muffled into that pillow as he falls straight back onto the bed. Comically so.
He pops back up a second later, beet red with his feathers so fluffed his head looks massive.]
You-! You-!!!
[SNATCHES UP THE OTHER PILLOW AND WHIPS IT AT THORNS LIKE-
GIRL!!!!!!!!]
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This is what men do at sleepovers. Gay pillow fights.]
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Elysium is so frazzled he almost doesn't fully register that Thorns is laughing, as quiet as he is. But he hears it well enough, and it causes something to roil hot in his chest as he gets hit in the face full-on a second time before catching and hurling the pillow that was thrown at him back.]
Take that!
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Anyway, Thorns dodges that pillow like one would dodge a projectile mid fight, and then disappears swiftly out of the room. He comes back a moment later hauling three different pillows with him that he undoubtedly pilfered from adjacent empty rooms, hurling them in succession at Elysium.
The boys. They're boying.]
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You never- Umph-! Struck me as a man who would play dirty-!!
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[Shut up you didn't become a pirate until like a month ago, this is Not core to your identity you're a nerd.
But, it's fine, because the more pillows he throws (all of them) the less ammo he has, which puts him literally against a wall over here. Your move, Elysium, he's run out.]
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[Now that Thorns is out of ammo...Elysium will grab the nearest pillow and start whapping him with it without letting it go. Whap whap whap-]
I have you now, you cur! Have at you!!
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Thorns, forced on the back foot here, puts both hands up to try to deflect. It works only somewhat, the pillow is still smacking him in the face regardless. Whap whap whap—]
It would only be a fair fight if I were also— [pwah] —armed!
[He attempts to shuffle over to grab a fallen pillow from the nest of those on the floors, and tries to parry the strikes.]
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Fair? You came at me without any warning! That's hardly fair!
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[He was gauging how close your lips were to his, Thorns. He was not watching anything else. Please you have got to stop being this oblivious.
Anyway. Thorns tries smacking Elysium with a now almost-empty pillowcase, realises that it's empty, leans down to try to grab another... loses his footing completely and falls back onto the mattress instead.
Good job genius.]
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Anyway, when Thorns falls back, Elysium takes this as his opportunity to pounce. He springs forward with his own pillow and plants a knee on the mattress between Thorns' legs (he's not even trying to make this suggestive this time, but oops) so he can smash the pillow he's holding (gently) right into his face.
WHAP.]
And now you're at my mercy! Admit defeat!
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If I [whap] admit defeat— [it's hard to talk like this, actually,] —I'll never hear the end of—
[This is hopeless. He has to un-smother himself. Of course his face will be all flushed when he can breathe again, and he's panting to catch his breath, dishevelled because of being ASSAILED via PILLOW... and Elysium's leg is between his. Feast your eyes on it, he's never going to look this way ever again.]
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