Well, no wonder you're losing! It's 'cause you're trying to be CEO-brained when what you really gotta do is be criminal-brained. You need an office? Find an empty one and act like you own the place until you've got enough capital! Get yourself some sucker employees who'll work for next to nothing either 'cause they want to or because you've got dirt on them! And then, get the cheapest possible version of whatever you're trying to sell, something with no overhead at all, and mark it up at least three times what it's worth - or more if you can get away with it!

[Stan's done this so many times that even if he doesn't remember every little scheme he ever pulled, the steps are engrained in his brain.]

Oh! And you can't forget advertising. Get a catchy jingle out on the netbooks and people will buy anything!