sticksandbones | I had a place where I lay my head

He knows the moment it happens, and it drags him out of a dead sleep. The feeling of his soul being pulled apart until it snaps, leaving him lesser than he was before. Leaving him the worst parts of himself, and alone.

So, so very alone.

The first place he looks is the Research Hall. He checks to see if he's down there with the door again. The hall is empty, dreadfully silent, and even as he passes the Door, he finds it strangely quiet and foreboding. He checks the greenhouse, the clinic, uses the shadows to climb out from under his bed to find just the Guardian there. He leaves as quietly as he came, and instead set his sights on the forest.

Can he feel something of a connection leading him out there? He doesn't know, but he's lying to himself to say that he is. He's going to either drag Pure Vanilla back out or burn this place to the ground. If either kills him, so be it.

The forest is quiet, dark and dreary. There might be a calmness to it, if not for the feeling of a thousand eyes jeering at him. Things rustle in the dark, hidden in leaves and branches and underbrush, and yet nothing ever shows itself. All he knows is that he's being followed, and the fog wall closes behind him, urging him onward.

Someone is laughing softly.

Good.

He's been on about the fact that their so-called Jailor refuses to show himself. If it's going to invite him in, then it's going to give him exactly what he wants. He continues to walk further in, hair roiling like water threatening to boil over. His eyes look in every direction, watching. Furious.

Shadow Milk, in turn, laughs with it. Laughs low while it builds into something unhinged and distraught. Something mad.

"Give me back what belongs to me, insect."

Such bold words from a man with only a sliver of his power.

Suri's voice is soft and sweet, and the forest goes silent.

Poor thing. A parasite who can only latch onto better souls, without it's host. What will you do?

"Bold wooooords from a worm who had to strip me of my power in order to chain me! Not even the witches did that. My what a foolish coward you are."

He halts his steps as it all goes quiet around him. His shadow writhes beneath him.

"I'll burn down everything you touch, everything you are, and I won't stop until nothing is left, do you think I care what happens from here on out? Filthy gnat, I denounce you!"

He holds out his hand and conjures up his staff.

"Very well then."

... Oh, that's different- instead of echoing through the air, its- solid. Present.

The Dark Sun stands behind the mage, hands behind his back, smiling.

"Denounce me, then."

"Oh! And I'm finally graced with your presence! You know, I really have to say, what an abysmal host you are! Hahaha!"

He raises his staff and in an instant the feeling of magic thickens the air. The Other-Realm, that so stubbornly tries to stay shut for him, rumbles with an energy as he tries his best to pry it open as wide as he can.

The shadows around them come alive. A bright blue magic circle lights up the ground beneath their feet.

"I do hope you will enjoy this final curtain call, pest."

Shadows surge forward, the circle too, materializes hundreds of blue, magical strings gripping onto the Dark Sun. All meant to hold him in place.

Suri tilts his head curiously.

"A host, hm? And do you often entertain insects and beasts as if they were people? What a generous soul you must be!"

He laughs, even as Shadow Milk begins casting. The circles are intricate (stars bind, they always bind, what are those runes, it smells sweet, how fascinating) and he seems more curious than bothered, even if the feeling of being held sickens him.

But he doesn't move. All he does is smile playfully.

“I do because I have some crumbling class, maggot!”

Good, fucking stay there, that makes this easier.

Another circle etches out at Shadow Milk’s feet, this time following bright red. It burns its runes into the ground. From his staff comes a wall of fire.

Fire.

Against the sun.

Oh, he must be upset. Suri almost feels sorry for the wretch, but instead he just... laughs.

"A Beast among beasts, I must remember! But don't tell me you forgot what I am."

Which is his only warning before Suri snaps out of the strings and steps through the fire, leaning in close.

"Do you, miserable as you are, alone as you are, think you could burn the sun?"

There we go. That’s right, dance along his strings you two-bit clown.

As he leans in, Shadow Milk holds his ground and seems rather like he needs to avoid leaving the circle he’s made. Thats fine, his grin is wide, sharp, there is desperation and madness behind his eyes but also-

“From one parasite to another, I don’t think I need to. Ohhh, how generous you are, keeping your eyes on me so, your humble court jester.”

Runes on his skin light up bright gold, there is a rumbling around them, and then suddenly portals tear open around the ring of fire Suri stepped out of. Other-Realm voids with their wide, furious eyes consume the flames that Shadow Milk sends into their depths.

The flames got a taste for Suri, and now Shadow Milk will send them off to burn the forest, to follow the leylines he observed a few weeks ago, to seek out any weak points in Suri’s ties to their prison. He’ll burn it down with every last drop of energy he has left. He cannot leave this circle, and so he has simply become a sitting target.

For a moment, he's mildly amused- cute, portals.

And then something in his expanse burns- he sees it in his mind's eye, feels it in his veins and Suri stills.

Suri immediately backhands Shadow Milk to the ground.

"I never subscribed to the Jester's Privilege, unfortunately. One more shot, mangy dog. And then I am finishing this, on my terms."

... Of course, Shadow Milk can see through the lie of his composure: Suri is in agony.

The backhand sends a powerful bite of pain across his jaw and he hits the ground with a thud. He spits out a mouthful of blood and starts to laugh, loud and hysterical. He’s up, floating off the ground. The circle has been broken so theres one thing left to do. He lunges forward.

“Oh, what a delightful expression to see on your face. I hope I get to see it agaaaaain~!”

His staff, that lay discarded just now, is picked up by one of the many writhing shadows around them. It’s tip, sharper than maybe it was before. With a sudden, forceful motion, he sends it plunging into both of them.

Edited 2025-04-12 02:24 (UTC)

Suri stills, practically letting the staff pierce through his chest, gold ichor dripping down it- each drop that hits Shadow Milk burns molten, and will leave faint black stains upon his revival. But if it hurts, he doesn't show it.

He stares Shadow Milk down and then gently cups his face with both hands.

"Oh, little beast. Do you think I'll let you escape me that easily?"

Shadow Milk will feel his flesh stitch back together around the staff, his heart beating yet, his blood flowing, his lungs pumping air despite the excruciating intrusion. And then nails dig into his eye socket- the bescarred one- and pulls.

It was worth a shot, honestly. At least he got to plunge the first hole in his own body instead of Suri. That’s a win to him.

As the blood gushes up his throat and out his mouth, he coninues grinning as Suri cups his face. He spits a mouthful of his blue blood right at him in response just as the wound starts to heal around his staff.

He screams, despite himself. The pain is excruciating. Still he refuses to show him anything else in his expression besides deranged glee. He laughs through choking on his own blood right up until he pulls his eye out.

That one stung pretty bad. Thats the one that turns gold in Suri’s hand.

Suri makes a noncommittal hum as he examines the eye in his fingers. Gold... how very interesting.

"It's a pity that a fragment of my cosmic power had to come about now, of all times- that you must die like the rest. But don't worry. You will be fascinating." He says quietly as Shadow Milk descends into madness.

Fragile, Ourania had all but called them before. An easily shattered mind. He sees it now, and it feels like looking in a mirror. Disgusting.

Suri breaks the blueberry staff, drops him on the ground and summons his spear to his hand. And then he stabs. Twists. Releases. Stabs. Twists. Releases. Again and again, until the laughter becomes gurgles, becomes raspy breaths, becomes near complete.

"... Soulmates... what a rubbish concept, don't you think? To have a half of you tied to someone else. And then they die. Perhaps you should be more appreciative that it happened sooner rather than later. Now you know what love is in this world."

If Shadow Milk is able to still hear him, he doesn't know. Doesn't care. He thinks of a pale blue moon and closes his eyes, urging the fires elsewhere to quell finally.

It begins to rain.

[So here he is, and here Pure Vanilla isn’t. He spends a long time lying there amongst the flowers. Hoping perhaps something will come along and kill him again. He feels empty, cold, and there is but a single mote of His magical energy left in the runes on his skin. It’s all he can do to hold it as close to his soul as he can. Its all he has left of him.]

[No one will come for him here. It’s just as well he fades into nothing.]

( that's what he thinks. after a moment, there's footsteps- and then, nene, carrying a thermos of something sweet. )

S- ah- Shadow Milk Cookie?

[…ah, right. He thinks he knows who this must be.]

There’s no point to me leaving this place, if that’s what you’ve come to do.

...

( she sits beside him and offers the thermos out. )

That's not true. It's painful, but there's always something to try for.

[He takes it, after a moment.]

Tens of thousands of years of misery and hatred only to experience love for a moment and lose it. What do you think, flowerbud? Am I not the greatest comedy you’ve ever seen?

( it will be a pleasantly cold peach sweet tea if he takes a drink. )

No, not at all. ... A tragedy, but... ... I thought, maybe I'd always be under his control. But I'm not now. And you're not alone, either. There's an entire little town for you to get to know. And someone waiting for you, too. ... Just... not who you wish it was.

[Its nice. He’s always been a tea drinker.]

Hm.

[Someone has come to get him? A surprising twist in the narrative he did not anticipate. Curious.]

It is not the first time I have attempted to run from that which awaits me. Instead of drowning in the yogurt river, something pulled me to the surface. Something that had refused to die. Maybe that’s whats alive now, too. I suppose we will find out what it becomes, hm?

( nene sits there for a moment, staring- and then she moves to close the distance, to hug him. the anemones and other flowers in the area seem to lean closer too. )

[He doesn’t even have it within him to push her away. He finds that he doesn’t want to. He draws himself in, becoming small, and shakes quietly in her hold.]

[Don’t you dare tell anyone he was crying.]

I had a place where I lay my head

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Cw: attempted suicide

cw: eye gore, healing as body horror

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cw: torture

Garden

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Cw: allusions to suicide

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