[Shadow Milk is desperate to lie to himself, because its the only thing he knows how to do. Once he was learning to accept what was in front of him, with the kind and gentle hands of someone enshrined in gold, but that person was torn violently away from him, and now all he has are his lies.]
[But they are thin lies at best. Hairline cracks that are numerous and plenty the closer one looks. He is a crumbling mask beset in crumbling masks with the person underneath uncertain and scared.]
[If Pavlova rejected him, it would be for the best, he tells himself, knowing that it would tear him to pieces, that his bleeding and cracked heart would break further into nothing.]
[But he doesn't. Pavlova looks right into him and sees past all of that, to see his heart for what it is, and while the thought makes something horrified and wild want to rise up in him, he stills his hands and his nerves. Let's him approach, allows the contact, and while he cannot see out of those eyes anymore, and they are just slightly out of focus, his expression is still that of someone deeply afraid.]
[But then his shoulders drop, and he lets out a shaky breath. Tightens his hold on Pavlova's hands.]
Suit yourself.
[It's small, whispered, but brimming with gratitude.]
no subject
[But they are thin lies at best. Hairline cracks that are numerous and plenty the closer one looks. He is a crumbling mask beset in crumbling masks with the person underneath uncertain and scared.]
[If Pavlova rejected him, it would be for the best, he tells himself, knowing that it would tear him to pieces, that his bleeding and cracked heart would break further into nothing.]
[But he doesn't. Pavlova looks right into him and sees past all of that, to see his heart for what it is, and while the thought makes something horrified and wild want to rise up in him, he stills his hands and his nerves. Let's him approach, allows the contact, and while he cannot see out of those eyes anymore, and they are just slightly out of focus, his expression is still that of someone deeply afraid.]
[But then his shoulders drop, and he lets out a shaky breath. Tightens his hold on Pavlova's hands.]
Suit yourself.
[It's small, whispered, but brimming with gratitude.]