Who: the DGM cast What: They're talking about Everything (tm) When: Middle of the month Where: Mess Hall Warnings: Will be appropriately cw'd in the tag titles
[ It's easy enough to get Link to the Mess Hall with him, since they share a cabin. But he is also going to take a slightly earlier lunch so that he can get Kanda and Lavi in here, too. He doesn't drag them, but he also doesn't give them time to protest, either. And are you really going to tell Allen no???
He's waving all of them over, half of a sandwich still in his mouth as he attempts to speak mid eating. "Was having the talk at the mess hall an excuse to eat while you did?" Yes. Next question. ]
[Obviously Link is already here since he and Allen share a cabin, his notebook spread open on the table in front of him. It's not the netbook notebook, but a notebook he uses for keeping his own notes about things. One wonders if he copies them down in the netbook later for posterity. He's not eating a full meal like Allen right now, though he does have a little bowl of soup in front of him that he's taking bites from when he remembers to. It smells like veggie, of some kind.]
[Why does this feel like they're about to have an intervention.
In any case, Kanda gives Lavi a glance, shrugs, and proceeds over to the table, unsurprised that Allen is feasting. He should get something himself, honestly, it's about that time... but he thinks he'll just sit down for now. Into the uncomfortable seats he sits.]
What's on the list first?
[Blah blah blah he won't be talking first blah blah.]
[Probably because in a way this is an intervention?
An intervention to their secret-keeping ways. Kanda can go ahead and sit, Lavi's being waved over by Ms. Bone-Jangles for his usual loaded tray for whatever meal of the day they're doing this. Thanks to her efforts (and the kids') he's gotten right filled out again, so he doesn't look as gaunt as before. Still have to turn some of that back into muscle, but that's for later.
It'll take him a minute to get his food, but then he'll meander over. Kanda's free to abscond with anything on the tray, Lavi doesn't mind and lately he can't really finish everything on the tray, either.]
[ Ugh. Fine. He waits to speak again until he swallows, though he's likely to get right back into it in a moment. ]
We have a lot that we need to get Lavi caught up with, to start. As much as I don't want to, we need to tell him about Apocryphos above all else, since... he's... kind of a catalyst for everything thereafter.
[ He takes a drink from the mug of tea he has out in front of him, and then shudders a bit afterwards. ]
...So, er, ripping the bandage right off, it seems that... I'm being hunted down by... pure Innocence, given form? We've been calling him an angel, since... that seems to be more or less what he is. Which I know is already a lot, but he also has his fingers dug into Central.
And, moreover, he's also the reason I am... me. The reason I can't remember my past is because I wasn't... supposed to exist. Not really. Not like this.
[Just the mere mention of Apocryphos causes Link to tense up, but it's something Lavi needs to know about. He has no reason to think he would show up here, but he also...can't rightfully count any possibility out.]
He seems to be able to take whatever form he likes, and currently, he's masquerading as a Cardinal that he likely killed long ago. He has the ability to completely wipe and rewrite memories, which makes him so incredibly dangerous to deal with...not to mention that he might just kill you if you get in his way. He seems like a normal man on the surface- short, curly brown hair with glasses- but if you see anyone like that here, do not engage with them and come to one of us first to verify.
[Kanda will not give into the temptation of eating food off of Lavi's tray. He will not. He will not give into the— anyway he steals a fry.
God. That motherfucker. He stares down at his bandaged left arm, huffs out a sigh, and starts painstakingly undoing the wrappings until the gross, veiny marks are visible.]
I broke his goddamn neck after he blinded me briefly, and he came back from it long enough to kill Timcanpy and disappear while I was unconscious on the ground. He managed to rewrite my memories, but. [...] I healed them.
[Don't worry about that.]
But his ties to God are a problem. Ever since I'd been helping Beansprout deal with him, this has been happening. [And he brings his forearm forward to show Lavi.] I'm not positive, but I might be Falling. I told glue boy over there [PLEASE] to kill me if that really happens, but you know how Beansprout is.
[Take the fries, he's not overly interested in them, nor the food in general. He'd just rather not get yelled at and hit with a soup ladle later on.
Lavi huffs a little bit mentally, Apocryphos seeming to him like the arch nemesis of a Bookman. He also wonders, slightly...stupidly, what would happen should the make-pretend Cardinal attempt to manipulate his memories. NOT THAT ANYONE HAS TO WORRY, OKAY. HE'S NOT GONNA GO POKE THE BEE HIVE.
Publicly, he rubs at his face, trying to dig in his memories of what he knows of the Cardinals, trying to place the face that Link is describing. Vaguely he remembers seeing him but it was records ago and there's no telling how long, like Link said, he's been wearing that mask. More concerningly, two things.
What do you mean not supposed to exist and this "angel" is the reason for it?! Also, pure Innocence fighting against Exorcists?! But he bites his tongue for now. Questions later because sometimes interruptions are detrimental to forthcoming information.
And then Kanda unwraps his arm. Lavi's reminded of the experiments that the Order committed, not the Seconds and Thirds but of the young girls in their own Branch. (Again, he's not...reached into those memories yet—if he has access to them.) Marks that he was told to be on the look out for and it makes him jerk upright from his slouched position.
He's drawing on his training a lot here to try and keep a plain face. A level head. But something still isn't making any sense. He's missing a full chapter here.]
I think we need to back up a bit, yeah? Back to when the Noah started showing up and kidnapping the Thirds. [And him and Bookman.] What happened and how did that resolve?
[Allen and Kanda don't have to reveal it all. Just fill in general blanks, please and thanks.]
[ Allen slumps a bit, glancing at Link. There's a bit of fidgeting here as he tries to fight back the urge to start telling Lavi about all his failures during that encounter. What he needed to do better and such. But now's not the time for that, so... ]
...The Thirds are with the Noah now. [ He wishes he were still stuffing his face, he thinks. ] The... hhhost... [ The word does not sit right in Allen's mouth. The way he says it is almost akin to making a child try to eat vegetables on their plate. ] had no longer only been partial Akuma, but full, and it affected the Thirds.
As I mentioned before, I opened an Ark gateway, and got in trouble for it. The Noah also very vocally announced that "the Fourteenth had awakened", so of course, that on top of the defying orders thing got me thrown right into the boiling pot. I was supposed to be imprisoned, but... Apocryphos tried to kill me.
That's when I told you Link saved me. Along with... Tyki and Road but that's not important right now, I feel.
[Link...perhaps unsurprisingly doesn't have anything to add, here. Allen's laid out the facts, and he wagers it will be a lot for Lavi to take in, so he's going to simply sit and listen for the time being.
And also...manage, somehow, to keep the discomfort out of his expression when Allen tells Lavi about how the Thirds had been captured. He doesn't want to think about it.]
[Kanda's expression sours. That itself isn't new — it would be more impressive and noteworthy if he were, shock and awe, happy for once in his life — but this is the sort of sour that Lavi and perhaps Link might not be used to from him. Bitter, perhaps. Heartbroken, maybe, if one could believe it. He briefly drums his nails across the wooden table before crossing his arms and looking anywhere else.]
"The womb". [He corrects.] Alma Karma.
[Kill him.]
Let's back up to that before we move on. Do you... know anything at all about the Second Exorcists?
[Lavi finds himself growing frustrated, because while he's hearing words, a lot of it is empty. There's no information—though he knew he'd never get a Bookman's level of detailed events—no reason behind the attack aside from stealing the Thirds by triggering the mysterious host. And that can't be it. He has to remind himself that these are traumatic events that his friends lived through; much like his own, he doesn't want to talk about it. Time, he supposes, will give the rest.
And Apocryphos had something to do with Rhode's disappearance. He recalls Tyki mentioning the rescue, the strange being... The record skips then, with Kanda's addition. Lavi lifts his head, glancing over at the swordsman and then down at the tray, an attempt to give Kanda some semblance of space. The air feels suspiciously like it did during their conversation when Lavi arrived, that brief description of Kanda's little "vacation."
Here's where Lavi hesitates, raising a hand up to his right eye and giving it a rub, still closed and still uncovered. While the term (and the name Alma Karma) triggers something past the more recent conversations that he remembered hearing in the Order before all hell broke loose, it's not something that he can easily grab at. It's like being given a complex tool with no instruction manual. Normally he would have had Bookman leading him through the process and yet...
No. Not going down that road. Not yet.]
Gramps knew something about it. [Truth enough.] Never said anything to me. [Also truth.] So most of what I know is just what was told to us when the Thirds arrived. Them calling you Second and all that...
[ Ball is in your court now, Kanda. Allen is putting sandwich in his gob while this part of the conversation comes up. But for now, he's going to let Kanda say his peace. What he wants to, anyway. After that, he'll start touching on the things with Apocryphos again. About his past and... well, he supposes, about Lavi. The Lavi before this one.
He's not looking forward to it, but he's trying to think about what to say while Kanda gives his part. ]
[Good. Good, good. Love this for him. Kanda shoots Link a Look before starting, but the truth spell on this place already tugs at his tongue before he can demand the CROW leave or throw a fit about this. It's a long-winded explanation; about the Seconds, about being the sole survivor and an experiment, hand-crafted just to be a weapon of war and nothing else. The multiple times he'd gone into cardiac arrest as a child and, pointedly because his blabbering mouth still wants to spite Link in particular, mentions of how the CROWs did everything in their power to keep the kids in "check" in the exact way the Order wanted them to be. The deaths and destruction of the branch, Kanda's escape, all of it. Then comes the part that Lavi will hopefully be able to connect the dots with; after all, Kanda sees what Allen and Link were trying to do, but he also knows better than to think vaguely saying "yeah I was gone for three months, no big deal" weeks ago is going to satisfy or fill in blanks.]
Which is where the demon-eye Noah kidnapped me and all of the scientists. [He continues, tone flattening.] You went missing somewhere in all of that, as far as everyone else was concerned, while Beansprout and I dealt with that issue. They used me to wake Alma up. He went on a rampage, and we fought. Beansprout got in the middle, and my stabbing him caused the Fourteenth to awaken. I don't know exactly when Link came onto the scene, but by that point, Beansprout opened the Ark gate for me and Alma, and I disappeared with him. He died in my arms shortly after that.
[Almost imperceptibly, his closed fists shake on the table, but he's quick to get a grip if only to finish out the story. There's no use making this another Lily situation when he volunteered the information himself this time.]
...I came back to the Order after about three or so months to save Beansprout's ass. That's after he escaped with the Noah, and leads into the Apocryphos situation we started on.
There. [He grouses, finally looking Lavi's way.] Does that connect the dots for you?
[You're testing him. Have to be. Trying to see how well Lavi can keep his straight face. But Kanda's vitriol and grief are all too real. The details of Kanda's childhood definitely sour any other part of Lavi's appetite and he pushes the tray away. He listens, hand clenching the fork he hadn't quite put down. He'd thought the experiments on the Lvellie family were bad. But the thought of having to go through that again and again, not being able to rest because of your own body betraying you...
"I'm sorry" doesn't cut it. Not by far. And it's not Lavi's place to apologize for it.
Wait, stabbing? Lavi jerks, eye flicking up to Allen. You could have told him that. But it was not unlike Allen to not say anything at all about his own injuries or issues. And it was just like him to jump in the middle of a goddamn fight. He's starting to see why Bookman lost his hair, if he'd been bad enough for that, these two alone were going to make Lavi bald. (Yes, we have to work humor in somewhere to keep moral up.) And the Fourteenth...being awake...
Lavi refocuses on Kanda as he asks about connections, organizing the new information in his brain. And then just nods, not quite trusting himself to speak aloud. But it definitely feels like the story Allen started isn't done. After all, how did they get to the Zoogles and furthermore how did they get to the Campbell mansion? The information about it was a tightly guarded secret, as were most things Clan related, but this more tightly under wraps.]
[ Yeah. Stabbing. Though, for what it's worth, Allen looks incredibly pissed the moment Kanda brings that up. It's the anger of someone who's fucking tired of repeating themselves. He doesn't interrupt Kanda, but he also instantly turns to Lavi when he's assured that Kanda's finished telling his story. ]
He didn't awaken the Fourteenth, to be frank. The Noah tried to get in his head by letting everyone know that that's what happened, and he's bloody letting them, instead of bloody listening to me. [ Glaring at Kanda. ] I woke him up. When we went to investigate Timothy's situation, I stabbed myself with the Sword of Exorcism, thinking I wouldn't be affected by it, and... well, anyway, that's when he started showing signs. It wasn't what Kanda did.
... The... The Fourteenth has been... steadily showing himself when I'm caught off guard, and... when I told you before that I travelled alone, that... was why. I feared him hurting someone I cared about. And... eventually, he did, when he hurt Johnny.
[ Allen fidgets. It still leaves such a horrid taste in his mouth that in this place they've somehow ended up as brothers. The very thought makes him want to rub his brain with sandpaper. ]
But... he did tell me that I've lost a lot of memories. And he gave me a direction to look for the pieces of who I used to be and what I was missing. And that's what led me to Zoogles. So, a lot happened from there? I know this is a lot of information already, but there's more, bear with me.
Tim died, as Kanda said, and he was more or less my ticket to getting to the Campbell mansion, so they wouldn't let me in. Cross is blood-related to the Campbells, which is why Tim was important to the overall picture. In exchange for getting to the Campbell mansion without Tim, the owner of the Zoogle bookstore we went to, Lucia, told me that she would allow us onward if I told her what happened to... the previous Lavi. Obviously, I didn't know, but she insisted that "Allen" and him were last seen together, and that he and the Fourteenth were friends.
But... they had this... uh, fruit... thing? [ Makes a vague motion with his hand, as if it's supposed to help at all that he looks like he's holding a literal poison right now. ] It kills you, but gives you knowledge, so they offered that in exchange, and I took it, and learned what happened to "me" and why "I" exist and-...
[ He lulls a bit here, trying to collect his thoughts. All of this feels SO disorganized and he has undiagnosed ADHD. ]
[Sorry. We're ignoring all other information for the moment. Don't worry, he's retained it. It'll be reviewed.
Okay. So. Uh. His hand might be bleeding from how tight he's gripping that fork. Growling:]
You what?!
[WHAT DID ANYONE TELL YOU ABOUT TAKING CANDY FROM STRANGERS ISTFG.
Letting go of the fork and it clatters on the table. He's incredulous (that's a big word for elmo) that Allen would just willingly eat that. And that they offered it.]
Did Lucia warn you at all what it would do to you?! [He doesn't at all seem surprised with her name, btw, Kanda.]
[Kanda goes from looking Angry and Soggy to looking like he's about to kill Link personally. Suddenly he's jabbing a finger across the table at both of the other two. Lavi is now a saint in his brain, Lavi has done no wrongs.]
I left you alone for a fucking hour! [He yells, then swivels to look at Link over his fingertip.] I left him alone with you for a motherfucking hour!
[And then his hand clenches into a fist and he slams it down on the table between them, rattling the dishes.]
You ate the fucking fruit that kills you?! [He's going to set Link on fire with his glare alone.] You let him eat the fruit that kills you?!
[Okay, well, motherfucker. Link knew this conversation was going to have to happen at some point, but he didn't think it would happen now, like this. That's what they get for having this conversation in the place where you can only tell the truth.
Link is normally a pretty composed sort of person, but as Allen and the rest of them well know...he has a temper on him as well. So the second the accusations start to fly, he places both hands firmly on the table and stands from his seat, glaring right back at Kanda.]
I did not let him do anything! He grabbed and ate it before any of us could stop him! Atuuda and I kept him alive!!
[And honestly, he's pretty sure they both would have fucking died if Allen was in his mind palace for a second longer than he had been.]
[ Hhhhhhhhhhhh everyone's yelling. Hold on. That's not what Allen wanted at all.
He's realizing now that he said something he'd meant to keep private. Lavi might've put it together, but he wasn't really too keen on Kanda knowing, if only because it only serves to upset him, and not... anything productive. Allen tenses, looking between the boys. There's a very brief moment where he tries to pipe up with an "oi" amidst the anger, but it gets lost.
Only after Kanda starts blaming Link does he finally stand up. ]
Listen!
Link protected me! The only reason he didn't stop me was because he stood in front of me to guard me. I quickly took the poison, because I knew Johnny and Li would stop me. It was stupid. I know it was.
[ To Lavi: ] Because, yes, I was aware it'd kill me, but... I... I wanted answers. I was so... tired of having people I loved hurt, my life falling apart around me, and so tired of feeling like struggle was the only way I could survive, all because... of bullshit I didn't know about! So, yes, I thought, in that moment, the price of knowing was worth my life!
And then I learned why! Because Apocryphos wants me to suffer! The more I do, the better "food", essentially, I'll be for "the Heart".
Link continues to glare at Kanda for a long moment, offended that he'd even suggest that he allowed something like that to happen willingly, on his watch...but he chooses to keep his mouth shut and instead sinks back into a sit at the table in a sort of silent acquiescence.
Probably best to let Allen explain himself before he continues to get defensive.]
[He's a CROW, Kanda thinks, bitterly, and this was probably somewhere in Central's grand plans. But he bites his tongue and manages to avoid rolling his eyes by some fucking miracle. There's an additional thought in the back of his mind somewhere that Allen didn't ever tell him about the poison, then a silent mental acknowledgement that of course he wouldn't because they both know that Kanda is temperamental, then the taste of betrayal and iron in his mouth because Allen said they were through lying to each other. And also because he's bitten a hole into his tongue trying to will himself to shut up.
Whatever, he thinks. It'll heal quickly and he'll move on.]
You'd better tell him about the answers you got then, Beansprout. [Is all he has to say on the topic.]
[Not going to lie, the question about Cross and the Campbells is on the tip of his tongue. But there's a bigger question there. A bigger question that triggers memories of when he was sitting in that chair next to Bookman.
They mentioned another apprentice of the old man's. One that he hadn't talked to Lavi about. And yet...]
˙˙˙sʇǝɹɔǝs ɹnoʎ puɐ uɐɯ plo uɐ ɟo pɹɐʇsɐq no⅄ [Hover over the text for easier readings! Bookman-language font choice is a go.
Going back through his memories now, he sees it. How much more concern and fierce protection he'd been given. It had to be stemming from something... Lavi could never figure out what, though.
He starts to run his hand through his hair and stops, seeing the blood, clenches his hand instead and rests his forehead against it. His voice is kind of choked here.] What do y— [He clears his throat, trying to push away emotions trying to overwhelm him.]
What do you mean "the previous Lavi"? [He knows about records retaining names, for sure, but the old man had never spoken about them having started "Lavi" before. Because that would mean... Well, Bookman hadn't exactly hidden that they'd had prior contact with the Order, but Lavi had assumed it was an encounter that triggered this record further down the line.]
... [ God, he really gone an opened a can of worms. He'll... have to pull Kanda aside after this. And maybe Link at some point, too, but... at least for now he's gonna reach a hand over to settle over one of Link's hands so he can help settle those nerves he sees flaring up. ]
Before you, before "me", there was another "Allen", and the previous Bookman Junior - the previous Lavi. I don't know all the details, but I know that the Fourteenth and Lavi were friends, and that Allen allowed the Fourteenth to use his body as... well, as his own body, in exchange for a favor. But it meant that after, Lavi and Allen travelled together, because it seemed Lavi had truly devoted himself to the Fourteenth... and, in turn, got close with Allen.
But... then Apocryphos found them. He attempted to kill Allen, to rid of the Fourteenth, but Lavi protected him, the best he could? Then... ah... something happened. Something strange that I have a really hard time wrapping my head around, so I can't explain it well...? [ It WAS a lot of information thrown at him all at once, so he didn't have time to question or investigate a lot of it. He just hard to sort of take things as they came, and... the Helix still makes little sense to him. ] But. But I know that in the end, "I" am more or less... [ How to explain this. If Allen barely understands it, there's really no way to say it in a way that makes sense. He huffs a bit, frustrated with himself for not being better about this. ] ...broken pieces of "Allen" that were fixed up with pieces of Lavi, I guess.
Food and feelings and other f words probably
He's waving all of them over, half of a sandwich still in his mouth as he attempts to speak mid eating. "Was having the talk at the mess hall an excuse to eat while you did?" Yes. Next question. ]
Over here! Have a seat, we have a lot to cover.
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Allen, please don't talk with your mouth full.
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In any case, Kanda gives Lavi a glance, shrugs, and proceeds over to the table, unsurprised that Allen is feasting. He should get something himself, honestly, it's about that time... but he thinks he'll just sit down for now. Into the uncomfortable seats he sits.]
What's on the list first?
[Blah blah blah he won't be talking first blah blah.]
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An intervention to their secret-keeping ways. Kanda can go ahead and sit, Lavi's being waved over by Ms. Bone-Jangles for his usual loaded tray for whatever meal of the day they're doing this. Thanks to her efforts (and the kids') he's gotten right filled out again, so he doesn't look as gaunt as before. Still have to turn some of that back into muscle, but that's for later.
It'll take him a minute to get his food, but then he'll meander over. Kanda's free to abscond with anything on the tray, Lavi doesn't mind and lately he can't really finish everything on the tray, either.]
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We have a lot that we need to get Lavi caught up with, to start. As much as I don't want to, we need to tell him about Apocryphos above all else, since... he's... kind of a catalyst for everything thereafter.
[ He takes a drink from the mug of tea he has out in front of him, and then shudders a bit afterwards. ]
...So, er, ripping the bandage right off, it seems that... I'm being hunted down by... pure Innocence, given form? We've been calling him an angel, since... that seems to be more or less what he is. Which I know is already a lot, but he also has his fingers dug into Central.
And, moreover, he's also the reason I am... me. The reason I can't remember my past is because I wasn't... supposed to exist. Not really. Not like this.
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He seems to be able to take whatever form he likes, and currently, he's masquerading as a Cardinal that he likely killed long ago. He has the ability to completely wipe and rewrite memories, which makes him so incredibly dangerous to deal with...not to mention that he might just kill you if you get in his way. He seems like a normal man on the surface- short, curly brown hair with glasses- but if you see anyone like that here, do not engage with them and come to one of us first to verify.
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God. That motherfucker. He stares down at his bandaged left arm, huffs out a sigh, and starts painstakingly undoing the wrappings until the gross, veiny marks are visible.]
I broke his goddamn neck after he blinded me briefly, and he came back from it long enough to kill Timcanpy and disappear while I was unconscious on the ground. He managed to rewrite my memories, but. [...] I healed them.
[Don't worry about that.]
But his ties to God are a problem. Ever since I'd been helping Beansprout deal with him, this has been happening. [And he brings his forearm forward to show Lavi.] I'm not positive, but I might be Falling. I told glue boy over there [PLEASE] to kill me if that really happens, but you know how Beansprout is.
[HE IS NEXT TO YOU]
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Lavi huffs a little bit mentally, Apocryphos seeming to him like the arch nemesis of a Bookman. He also wonders, slightly...stupidly, what would happen should the make-pretend Cardinal attempt to manipulate his memories. NOT THAT ANYONE HAS TO WORRY, OKAY. HE'S NOT GONNA GO POKE THE BEE HIVE.
Publicly, he rubs at his face, trying to dig in his memories of what he knows of the Cardinals, trying to place the face that Link is describing. Vaguely he remembers seeing him but it was records ago and there's no telling how long, like Link said, he's been wearing that mask. More concerningly, two things.
What do you mean not supposed to exist and this "angel" is the reason for it?! Also, pure Innocence fighting against Exorcists?! But he bites his tongue for now. Questions later because sometimes interruptions are detrimental to forthcoming information.
And then Kanda unwraps his arm. Lavi's reminded of the experiments that the Order committed, not the Seconds and Thirds but of the young girls in their own Branch. (Again, he's not...reached into those memories yet—if he has access to them.) Marks that he was told to be on the look out for and it makes him jerk upright from his slouched position.
He's drawing on his training a lot here to try and keep a plain face. A level head. But something still isn't making any sense. He's missing a full chapter here.]
I think we need to back up a bit, yeah? Back to when the Noah started showing up and kidnapping the Thirds. [And him and Bookman.] What happened and how did that resolve?
[Allen and Kanda don't have to reveal it all. Just fill in general blanks, please and thanks.]
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...The Thirds are with the Noah now. [ He wishes he were still stuffing his face, he thinks. ] The... hhhost... [ The word does not sit right in Allen's mouth. The way he says it is almost akin to making a child try to eat vegetables on their plate. ] had no longer only been partial Akuma, but full, and it affected the Thirds.
As I mentioned before, I opened an Ark gateway, and got in trouble for it. The Noah also very vocally announced that "the Fourteenth had awakened", so of course, that on top of the defying orders thing got me thrown right into the boiling pot. I was supposed to be imprisoned, but... Apocryphos tried to kill me.
That's when I told you Link saved me. Along with... Tyki and Road but that's not important right now, I feel.
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And also...manage, somehow, to keep the discomfort out of his expression when Allen tells Lavi about how the Thirds had been captured. He doesn't want to think about it.]
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"The womb". [He corrects.] Alma Karma.
[Kill him.]
Let's back up to that before we move on. Do you... know anything at all about the Second Exorcists?
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And Apocryphos had something to do with Rhode's disappearance. He recalls Tyki mentioning the rescue, the strange being... The record skips then, with Kanda's addition. Lavi lifts his head, glancing over at the swordsman and then down at the tray, an attempt to give Kanda some semblance of space. The air feels suspiciously like it did during their conversation when Lavi arrived, that brief description of Kanda's little "vacation."
Here's where Lavi hesitates, raising a hand up to his right eye and giving it a rub, still closed and still uncovered. While the term (and the name Alma Karma) triggers something past the more recent conversations that he remembered hearing in the Order before all hell broke loose, it's not something that he can easily grab at. It's like being given a complex tool with no instruction manual. Normally he would have had Bookman leading him through the process and yet...
No. Not going down that road. Not yet.]
Gramps knew something about it. [Truth enough.] Never said anything to me. [Also truth.] So most of what I know is just what was told to us when the Thirds arrived. Them calling you Second and all that...
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He's not looking forward to it, but he's trying to think about what to say while Kanda gives his part. ]
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Which is where the demon-eye Noah kidnapped me and all of the scientists. [He continues, tone flattening.] You went missing somewhere in all of that, as far as everyone else was concerned, while Beansprout and I dealt with that issue. They used me to wake Alma up. He went on a rampage, and we fought. Beansprout got in the middle, and my stabbing him caused the Fourteenth to awaken. I don't know exactly when Link came onto the scene, but by that point, Beansprout opened the Ark gate for me and Alma, and I disappeared with him. He died in my arms shortly after that.
[Almost imperceptibly, his closed fists shake on the table, but he's quick to get a grip if only to finish out the story. There's no use making this another Lily situation when he volunteered the information himself this time.]
...I came back to the Order after about three or so months to save Beansprout's ass. That's after he escaped with the Noah, and leads into the Apocryphos situation we started on.
There. [He grouses, finally looking Lavi's way.] Does that connect the dots for you?
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"I'm sorry" doesn't cut it. Not by far. And it's not Lavi's place to apologize for it.
Wait, stabbing? Lavi jerks, eye flicking up to Allen. You could have told him that. But it was not unlike Allen to not say anything at all about his own injuries or issues. And it was just like him to jump in the middle of a goddamn fight. He's starting to see why Bookman lost his hair, if he'd been bad enough for that, these two alone were going to make Lavi bald. (Yes, we have to work humor in somewhere to keep moral up.) And the Fourteenth...being awake...
Lavi refocuses on Kanda as he asks about connections, organizing the new information in his brain. And then just nods, not quite trusting himself to speak aloud. But it definitely feels like the story Allen started isn't done. After all, how did they get to the Zoogles and furthermore how did they get to the Campbell mansion? The information about it was a tightly guarded secret, as were most things Clan related, but this more tightly under wraps.]
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He didn't awaken the Fourteenth, to be frank. The Noah tried to get in his head by letting everyone know that that's what happened, and he's bloody letting them, instead of bloody listening to me. [ Glaring at Kanda. ] I woke him up. When we went to investigate Timothy's situation, I stabbed myself with the Sword of Exorcism, thinking I wouldn't be affected by it, and... well, anyway, that's when he started showing signs. It wasn't what Kanda did.
[ He turns his attention fully back to Lavi. ]
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[ Allen fidgets. It still leaves such a horrid taste in his mouth that in this place they've somehow ended up as brothers. The very thought makes him want to rub his brain with sandpaper. ]
But... he did tell me that I've lost a lot of memories. And he gave me a direction to look for the pieces of who I used to be and what I was missing. And that's what led me to Zoogles. So, a lot happened from there? I know this is a lot of information already, but there's more, bear with me.
Tim died, as Kanda said, and he was more or less my ticket to getting to the Campbell mansion, so they wouldn't let me in. Cross is blood-related to the Campbells, which is why Tim was important to the overall picture. In exchange for getting to the Campbell mansion without Tim, the owner of the Zoogle bookstore we went to, Lucia, told me that she would allow us onward if I told her what happened to... the previous Lavi. Obviously, I didn't know, but she insisted that "Allen" and him were last seen together, and that he and the Fourteenth were friends.
But... they had this... uh, fruit... thing? [ Makes a vague motion with his hand, as if it's supposed to help at all that he looks like he's holding a literal poison right now. ] It kills you, but gives you knowledge, so they offered that in exchange, and I took it, and learned what happened to "me" and why "I" exist and-...
[ He lulls a bit here, trying to collect his thoughts. All of this feels SO disorganized and he has undiagnosed ADHD. ]
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Don't worry, he's retained it. It'll be reviewed.Okay. So. Uh. His hand might be bleeding from how tight he's gripping that fork. Growling:]
You what?!
[WHAT DID ANYONE TELL YOU ABOUT TAKING CANDY FROM STRANGERS ISTFG.
Letting go of the fork and it clatters on the table. He's incredulous (that's a big word for elmo) that Allen would just willingly eat that. And that they offered it.]
Did Lucia warn you at all what it would do to you?! [He doesn't at all seem surprised with her name, btw, Kanda.]
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I left you alone for a fucking hour! [He yells, then swivels to look at Link over his fingertip.] I left him alone with you for a motherfucking hour!
[And then his hand clenches into a fist and he slams it down on the table between them, rattling the dishes.]
You ate the fucking fruit that kills you?! [He's going to set Link on fire with his glare alone.] You let him eat the fruit that kills you?!
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Link is normally a pretty composed sort of person, but as Allen and the rest of them well know...he has a temper on him as well. So the second the accusations start to fly, he places both hands firmly on the table and stands from his seat, glaring right back at Kanda.]
I did not let him do anything! He grabbed and ate it before any of us could stop him! Atuuda and I kept him alive!!
[And honestly, he's pretty sure they both would have fucking died if Allen was in his mind palace for a second longer than he had been.]
cw: mild suicide ideation. tagging just in case-
He's realizing now that he said something he'd meant to keep private. Lavi might've put it together, but he wasn't really too keen on Kanda knowing, if only because it only serves to upset him, and not... anything productive. Allen tenses, looking between the boys. There's a very brief moment where he tries to pipe up with an "oi" amidst the anger, but it gets lost.
Only after Kanda starts blaming Link does he finally stand up. ]
Listen!
Link protected me! The only reason he didn't stop me was because he stood in front of me to guard me. I quickly took the poison, because I knew Johnny and Li would stop me. It was stupid. I know it was.
[ To Lavi: ] Because, yes, I was aware it'd kill me, but... I... I wanted answers. I was so... tired of having people I loved hurt, my life falling apart around me, and so tired of feeling like struggle was the only way I could survive, all because... of bullshit I didn't know about! So, yes, I thought, in that moment, the price of knowing was worth my life!
And then I learned why! Because Apocryphos wants me to suffer! The more I do, the better "food", essentially, I'll be for "the Heart".
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Link continues to glare at Kanda for a long moment, offended that he'd even suggest that he allowed something like that to happen willingly, on his watch...but he chooses to keep his mouth shut and instead sinks back into a sit at the table in a sort of silent acquiescence.
Probably best to let Allen explain himself before he continues to get defensive.]
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Whatever, he thinks. It'll heal quickly and he'll move on.]
You'd better tell him about the answers you got then, Beansprout. [Is all he has to say on the topic.]
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They mentioned another apprentice of the old man's. One that he hadn't talked to Lavi about. And yet...]
˙˙˙sʇǝɹɔǝs ɹnoʎ puɐ uɐɯ plo uɐ ɟo pɹɐʇsɐq no⅄ [Hover over the text for easier readings! Bookman-language font choice is a go.
Going back through his memories now, he sees it. How much more concern and fierce protection he'd been given. It had to be stemming from something... Lavi could never figure out what, though.
He starts to run his hand through his hair and stops, seeing the blood, clenches his hand instead and rests his forehead against it. His voice is kind of choked here.] What do y— [He clears his throat, trying to push away emotions trying to overwhelm him.]
What do you mean "the previous Lavi"? [He knows about records retaining names, for sure, but the old man had never spoken about them having started "Lavi" before. Because that would mean... Well, Bookman hadn't exactly hidden that they'd had prior contact with the Order, but Lavi had assumed it was an encounter that triggered this record further down the line.]
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Before you, before "me", there was another "Allen", and the previous Bookman Junior - the previous Lavi. I don't know all the details, but I know that the Fourteenth and Lavi were friends, and that Allen allowed the Fourteenth to use his body as... well, as his own body, in exchange for a favor. But it meant that after, Lavi and Allen travelled together, because it seemed Lavi had truly devoted himself to the Fourteenth... and, in turn, got close with Allen.
But... then Apocryphos found them. He attempted to kill Allen, to rid of the Fourteenth, but Lavi protected him, the best he could? Then... ah... something happened. Something strange that I have a really hard time wrapping my head around, so I can't explain it well...? [ It WAS a lot of information thrown at him all at once, so he didn't have time to question or investigate a lot of it. He just hard to sort of take things as they came, and... the Helix still makes little sense to him. ] But. But I know that in the end, "I" am more or less... [ How to explain this. If Allen barely understands it, there's really no way to say it in a way that makes sense. He huffs a bit, frustrated with himself for not being better about this. ] ...broken pieces of "Allen" that were fixed up with pieces of Lavi, I guess.
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dw tried to 503 me wtf
trying to bury our issues for us, i see, dreamwidth...
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1/2 ...okay this got longer than i thought.
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sorry im late i was busy being hit by a car /food poisoning
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beep beep
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debating asking about the whole boyfriends thing but think might save that
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okay hi i'm not drunk and tired anymore let's go-
1/2 HOLD ON WE DOIN SOMETHIN
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