[Of all the reactions she might have predicted, this was likely the most unexpected. While Mydei's touch is not unwelcome, and while she knows she will not hurt him in that way ever again, it's still surprising to feel his arms around her. What's more surprising is the way she suddenly becomes weightless, then almost dizzied as he lifts her up.]
L-Lord Mydei -?
[But just as the confusion threatens to disrupt the moment his laughter finally registers within her ears. At first, a tender smile splits her lips — oh, how Mydei deserved to be able to laugh like that — but it's swiftly broken by a delighted laugh of her own. She wraps her arms around his shoulders, sharing in the joy for a few precious moments.
Yes, some part of her did mourn what Mydei would still have to go through. But she could at least cherish this moment for what it was worth, for now.]
He was never opposed to expressing himself when needed, but with everything that was going on, laughter was the last thing on his mind.
He stopped spinning Castorice, though he did not lower her, and instead adjusted his grip on her waist to make sure his gauntlets weren't digging into her.
Mydei looked up at her, his smile still lingering on his face despite the laughter now dying down. The joy of the news she had given him would be forever etched into the hard lines of his face.
Yes, he would still have to work towards Era Nova, but now there was a light at the end.]
[This is a sight that few have been able to witness, Castorice realizes. In the back of her mind, she wonders how she might put a pen to the sight, to commit it to the annals of history with a poem.
Like dawn cuts the night, his smile blooms. That might be an adequate start.
Lost in thought and largely unable to help herself, Castorice's hand shifts. She traces the lines that lingered, the space where his smile had once been. It is, perhaps, a bit of an intimate touch, all things considered. But for one so deprived of both touch and joy, she hopes that Mydei will find it in himself to forgive her.
Even if she does look sheepish as she catches herself.]
I... hope so too. You deserve many more smiles, Lord Mydeimos.
It was usually only when Phainon or Krateros that he stilled his tongue long enough to think of a proper response. Castorice had never given him such pause before, and he had to wonder why that was right now.
Perhaps it was because of her words.
What he deserved.
He would not let those thoughts linger. Not now.
Instead, he turns his head to catch her palm with a kiss from his lips as he finally sets her down on her feet.]
And you have no more excuses to not take up my offer for hugs.
[As Mydei tilts his head, as his lips press against her skin, Castorice finds she almost feels dizzy. Her heart beats unevenly with something she has never felt before. Though, when she considers it, perhaps never let herself feel it. Cycle after cycle, recurrence after recurrence, her curse had prevented her from even daring to think about such endeavors. They would only ever end in tragedy, after all.
She hardly realizes how warm her cheeks have become until she is on her feet, and she must take proper stock of her senses. It's a small miracle that she does not stumble straight into Mydei. She might never be able to forgive herself such an intrusion.]
I - [Her voice sounds feeble and stricken. How humiliating. She steels herself all the more.] Suppose I do not.
[Despite not having a curse that made it impossible to touch others, Mydei still kept his distance from people. It was rare that he got close to anyone, especially after the Detachment had arrived in Ohkema.
He had watched his friends die one by one, being unable to protect them.
His purpose was to protect his people, to save them — he failed at that purpose at every turn.
But the Heirs had become precious to him, and despite how he put up those walls, they had all climbed over them to stand by his side, and he wanted to make them proud. Or maybe he just wanted someone, anyone to be proud of him; to know that he could be there for them, to save them and protect them like he was supposed to.
So, a new purpose to add to the myriad of others: ensure that Castorice's smile never falters.]
Good. [He was careful with his gauntlet as he brushed his thumb across her cheek.] I figured you aren't able to give me details, but is this Era Nova of ours... Is it worth it?
[Not entirely dissimilar to a cat, Castorice's head leans into Mydei's touch. As she does, her heart once again flops unsteadily. Despite the fact that Cyrene and the Trailblazer had written away her curse, given their duty, there had been little time for her to truly explore what it meant. What physical interaction she had experienced had been limited to those that she considered family.
Mydei was different. Beloved, but in a different way. And so when his hand, even clad in armor as it is, brushes over her skin, an entirely new sensation erupts from within her heart. Warm, but not unpleasant. It begs her to reciprocate, and so she does, laying her hands against his shoulders and then fanning down over the span of his biceps.
Perhaps.... there were more benefits to being eased of her burden than she might have thought. She keeps that thought held close as her eyes close, thoughtful as she ponders Mydei's question.]
I believe so. [Even knowing all that she did, after having borne 33 million cycles and untold years of suffering, she believed it to be true. And if she knew Mydei as well as she thought, then the fact that Phainon had been freed from that level of suffering would certainly be worth it in his eyes.] In the end, we all found happiness, and hope.
There is not much more that any of us could ask for.
[Perhaps Mydei will be lucky. Even if Castorice has to change up the language, to muddle some details, she already dreams of writing poems of the life they had begun to lead. Even if she has no idea how to break the truth to them, or if it's even her role to do so, she wants to at least give them hope for the sunrise that would follow that bleak night.
But those are thoughts for later. The question he asks now makes her smile. It is a good thing that she had come across Phainon since then, and even better to know that Mydei, too, knew of his presence. He had been so desperate to find Phainon when they'd first arrived, after all.
But again, she's getting distracted.
She nods, even as her hands continue to wander of their own volition. She'll be embarrassed about it later, when she's alone with her many, many thoughts.]
I admit that the circumstances in which he discovered the truth were... less than ideal. [She has to hope Mydei doesn't ask about that.] But he knows now, yes.
[Don't worry, Cas. You're not the first person to feel him up, and you're definitely not going to be the last.
Mydei hums softly in acknowledgment of her words, though he takes a moment to think.
Phainon, for as long as Mydei had known him, had always put the Flame-Chase and the Heirs above himself. So... perhaps, now with the knowledge of success, he can start living for himself.
At least, while they were here.
And perhaps, once they return and complete Era Nova, he would continue to do so.]
Thank you, Castorice. [He leans forward, pressing another kiss to her forehead.] This is a gift that you have given him. Us.
Absolutely she does, who do you think she is? Perhaps for a few seconds, Mydei might even feel it, the way she has to put just a little more pressure on his arms in order to keep her balance.
If not, it might be obvious in the way her face alights.]
I - [What were they saying? Pull yourself together girl.] It is the least I can do. You both fought hard for it. It is only fair that I tell you that your efforts paid off.
[He does, in fact, notice. He lets his hands move to her waist, sliding along her lower back to keep her from falling over. He won't touch more than that, though. More than that involves consent and a discussion on boundaries.
Which... perhaps he should do anyway.
He sort of just started touching her without her permission.
[She had fought hard for a future like this. But never in her wildest dreams could she imagine the direction it would take. That included the hands of Lord Mydeimos, settled around her waist like some sort of delicate, lovelorn maiden worth clutching close.
That feels like it's come out of one of her own poems. One that was never supposed to involve her.
She swallows.]
You are right, I have. This is a result of all of our efforts. [Well...] Or, back home, was. Here is -
[She winces, the memories from just a few moments prior bubbling up within her mind.]
[Mydei doesn't release her. He isn't sure whether he was reading the situation correctly. She seemed like she was swaying on her feet, or perhaps the prolonged physical contact was more than she could stand currently.
It would make sense if that were the case.
Over a thousand years of being unable to touch anyone, or just being close to someone...
It would make sense that it was overwhelming.]
We'll get home again.
[Mydei finally removed his hands from around Castorice and took a step back. Enough to give her some semblece of personal space again.]
We didn't go through all we did not to be able to enjoy Era Nova.
[Is she disappointed when he lets go? Or relieved that she can somehow breathe again. The answer doesn't immediately come to mind, and Castorice doesn't see fit to unpack it all in this moment.
Even if she finds she does miss the warmth.]
I know we will.
[She offers a smile, small but confident.]
After all we have overcome, this will be more than manageable.
[One angry program obsessed with a cave vs. One angry god, obsessed with trees.
He does end up taking her hand and leading her to sit somewhere dry and perhaps not covered in roots. Almost like a picnic, with no food. He didn't come prepared.]
Is there anything you can tell me? I will not force you, of course. I don't want to risk anything. I don't .. actually know how this works.
[Even if it's slightly damp, she doesn't seem to mind. She seats herself delicately within the grass, legs folded behind her. Though she lets go of him to right her skirt, she does extend her hand once more in offering.
She could get used to the idea of casual, intimate contact.]
I... admit I also do not know what price telling you the truth might incur. But I also do not know what knowing the truth will matter. [After all, Phainon had known the truth and suffered for millions of cycles. Would it really matter if Mydei had an inkling going into what surely would be the last cycle for him?
But then, if Mydei knew what happened to Phainon, the chance of Phainon himself finding out grew. And she wasn't sure she was ready for that.
More fragments, then. Truth within the lies.]
Era Nova does not look the way we envisioned it. The shape it takes, and the necessity of carrying it out is all the more steeper than even Lady Tribbie could have predicted. [That seems... reasonable enough to offer.] But as a result, it is all the more beautiful than I could have expected, too.
[Honestly, Mydei didn't know what he expected from this. Whatever Era Nova was, all that mattered to him was the fact that they had all succeeded in —]
[There's an almost unprecedented level of excitement that comes when Castorice nods. She cannot help the beaming smile that spreads over her lips.]
Trianne, Ladies Aglaea and Cipher, Lord Anaxa, they have all returned. But it is more than that. [She squeezes his hand.] Those lost before that have returned as well. My sister. Those that I grew up with. They are there as well.
[Notably, she does not mention Mydei's family. Even in the existence she came from, it was still a tender subject.]
[Thankfully, Castorice doesn't appear at all bothered by the pressure on her hand. If anything, she's more focused on his face. Was shock good? Or a precursor to more negative thoughts.
... She isn't quite sure what to say.]
I hope it brings as much relief to you as it did to me, Lord Mydeimos.
[She has only heard stories but... they were bad enough.]
[He looked down at their hands once more. Without saying anything, he released her hand and took a minute to remove his gauntlets. He set them to the side, and with his now — incredibly soft — bare hands he reaches back down to take hers.]
It is.
[Her skin held a warmth to it that he hadn't expected. Death's hands had always felt cold to him, like ice digging themselves inside his veins to drown him.
She was cold, but not more than any other person would be here.]
Having gripped the hands of many battle-hardened individuals (and many Kremnoan's at that), Castorice would have expected that even beneath those gauntlets, Mydei's skin would be rough hewn.
Mystified as she is, she cannot help the way her thumbs slide over his skin, taking in the feeling of it and committing it to memory.]
That makes me more happy than you know. [It was such a long path they had walked.] I admit, seeing your smile after it was all said and done meant the world to me.
[He's so rarely without his gauntlets, even he wasn't all that used to seeing the markings on his arms and hands anymore. Okhema had been a safe haven for his people, but not for him.
The Cleaners had made sure of that.]
Is that so? [His smile returned, softening his features as he let her just... Explore his hands.]
[Well, since he's letting her, Castorice loosens her grip on his hands in favor of letting her fingers wander further. They span up his wrist, then down to stroke along each finger.
Human contact is still so new, and Mydei is so soft.]
The path you walked has been particularly difficult, Lord Mydei. In spite of that, you were a stalwart ally not just to the Chrysos Heirs, but to me, personally. Why would I not want to see your happiness at the end of this road?
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L-Lord Mydei -?
[But just as the confusion threatens to disrupt the moment his laughter finally registers within her ears. At first, a tender smile splits her lips — oh, how Mydei deserved to be able to laugh like that — but it's swiftly broken by a delighted laugh of her own. She wraps her arms around his shoulders, sharing in the joy for a few precious moments.
Yes, some part of her did mourn what Mydei would still have to go through. But she could at least cherish this moment for what it was worth, for now.]
... I am so glad to hear your laughter.
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He was never opposed to expressing himself when needed, but with everything that was going on, laughter was the last thing on his mind.
He stopped spinning Castorice, though he did not lower her, and instead adjusted his grip on her waist to make sure his gauntlets weren't digging into her.
Mydei looked up at her, his smile still lingering on his face despite the laughter now dying down. The joy of the news she had given him would be forever etched into the hard lines of his face.
Yes, he would still have to work towards Era Nova, but now there was a light at the end.]
I hope it will not be as rare anymore.
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Like dawn cuts the night, his smile blooms. That might be an adequate start.
Lost in thought and largely unable to help herself, Castorice's hand shifts. She traces the lines that lingered, the space where his smile had once been. It is, perhaps, a bit of an intimate touch, all things considered. But for one so deprived of both touch and joy, she hopes that Mydei will find it in himself to forgive her.
Even if she does look sheepish as she catches herself.]
I... hope so too. You deserve many more smiles, Lord Mydeimos.
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It was usually only when Phainon or Krateros that he stilled his tongue long enough to think of a proper response. Castorice had never given him such pause before, and he had to wonder why that was right now.
Perhaps it was because of her words.
What he deserved.
He would not let those thoughts linger. Not now.
Instead, he turns his head to catch her palm with a kiss from his lips as he finally sets her down on her feet.]
And you have no more excuses to not take up my offer for hugs.
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She hardly realizes how warm her cheeks have become until she is on her feet, and she must take proper stock of her senses. It's a small miracle that she does not stumble straight into Mydei. She might never be able to forgive herself such an intrusion.]
I - [Her voice sounds feeble and stricken. How humiliating. She steels herself all the more.] Suppose I do not.
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He had watched his friends die one by one, being unable to protect them.
His purpose was to protect his people, to save them — he failed at that purpose at every turn.
But the Heirs had become precious to him, and despite how he put up those walls, they had all climbed over them to stand by his side, and he wanted to make them proud. Or maybe he just wanted someone, anyone to be proud of him; to know that he could be there for them, to save them and protect them like he was supposed to.
So, a new purpose to add to the myriad of others: ensure that Castorice's smile never falters.]
Good. [He was careful with his gauntlet as he brushed his thumb across her cheek.] I figured you aren't able to give me details, but is this Era Nova of ours... Is it worth it?
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Mydei was different. Beloved, but in a different way. And so when his hand, even clad in armor as it is, brushes over her skin, an entirely new sensation erupts from within her heart. Warm, but not unpleasant. It begs her to reciprocate, and so she does, laying her hands against his shoulders and then fanning down over the span of his biceps.
Perhaps.... there were more benefits to being eased of her burden than she might have thought. She keeps that thought held close as her eyes close, thoughtful as she ponders Mydei's question.]
I believe so. [Even knowing all that she did, after having borne 33 million cycles and untold years of suffering, she believed it to be true. And if she knew Mydei as well as she thought, then the fact that Phainon had been freed from that level of suffering would certainly be worth it in his eyes.] In the end, we all found happiness, and hope.
There is not much more that any of us could ask for.
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[He couldn't imagine what that even looked like.
After a life so full of nothing but death, Mydei couldn't picture what his life would look like when that would no longer be the case.
It made his chest ache with longing. The promised Era Nova, the dawn that they had all been seeking... it was within reach.]
Does the Deliverer know he succeeded?
[He was also not going to comment on the fact that she just half groped his bicep. Do it again, girl, he's fine with it.]
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But those are thoughts for later. The question he asks now makes her smile. It is a good thing that she had come across Phainon since then, and even better to know that Mydei, too, knew of his presence. He had been so desperate to find Phainon when they'd first arrived, after all.
But again, she's getting distracted.
She nods, even as her hands continue to wander of their own volition. She'll be embarrassed about it later, when she's alone with her many, many thoughts.]
I admit that the circumstances in which he discovered the truth were... less than ideal. [She has to hope Mydei doesn't ask about that.] But he knows now, yes.
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Mydei hums softly in acknowledgment of her words, though he takes a moment to think.
Phainon, for as long as Mydei had known him, had always put the Flame-Chase and the Heirs above himself. So... perhaps, now with the knowledge of success, he can start living for himself.
At least, while they were here.
And perhaps, once they return and complete Era Nova, he would continue to do so.]
Thank you, Castorice. [He leans forward, pressing another kiss to her forehead.] This is a gift that you have given him. Us.
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Absolutely she does, who do you think she is? Perhaps for a few seconds, Mydei might even feel it, the way she has to put just a little more pressure on his arms in order to keep her balance.
If not, it might be obvious in the way her face alights.]
I - [What were they saying? Pull yourself together girl.] It is the least I can do. You both fought hard for it. It is only fair that I tell you that your efforts paid off.
[Phainon in particular, for that matter.]
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Which... perhaps he should do anyway.
He sort of just started touching her without her permission.
Mydeimos, were are your manners?]
You fought hard for it, too. We all have.
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That feels like it's come out of one of her own poems. One that was never supposed to involve her.
She swallows.]
You are right, I have. This is a result of all of our efforts. [Well...] Or, back home, was. Here is -
[She winces, the memories from just a few moments prior bubbling up within her mind.]
Here is quite different.
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It would make sense if that were the case.
Over a thousand years of being unable to touch anyone, or just being close to someone...
It would make sense that it was overwhelming.]
We'll get home again.
[Mydei finally removed his hands from around Castorice and took a step back. Enough to give her some semblece of personal space again.]
We didn't go through all we did not to be able to enjoy Era Nova.
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Even if she finds she does miss the warmth.]
I know we will.
[She offers a smile, small but confident.]
After all we have overcome, this will be more than manageable.
[One angry program obsessed with a cave vs. One angry god, obsessed with trees.
How hard could it be?]
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You get it.
He does end up taking her hand and leading her to sit somewhere dry and perhaps not covered in roots. Almost like a picnic, with no food. He didn't come prepared.]
Is there anything you can tell me? I will not force you, of course. I don't want to risk anything. I don't .. actually know how this works.
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She could get used to the idea of casual, intimate contact.]
I... admit I also do not know what price telling you the truth might incur. But I also do not know what knowing the truth will matter. [After all, Phainon had known the truth and suffered for millions of cycles. Would it really matter if Mydei had an inkling going into what surely would be the last cycle for him?
But then, if Mydei knew what happened to Phainon, the chance of Phainon himself finding out grew. And she wasn't sure she was ready for that.
More fragments, then. Truth within the lies.]
Era Nova does not look the way we envisioned it. The shape it takes, and the necessity of carrying it out is all the more steeper than even Lady Tribbie could have predicted. [That seems... reasonable enough to offer.] But as a result, it is all the more beautiful than I could have expected, too.
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Our companions... Have they returned?
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Trianne, Ladies Aglaea and Cipher, Lord Anaxa, they have all returned. But it is more than that. [She squeezes his hand.] Those lost before that have returned as well. My sister. Those that I grew up with. They are there as well.
[Notably, she does not mention Mydei's family. Even in the existence she came from, it was still a tender subject.]
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She returned to squeeze to her hand, though he tried to be careful and not hurt her. That's the last thing he ever wanted to do.
If everyone was back... Then that meant...
Hephaestion and the others... His mother, his —]
I cannot imagine the joy of being able to see everyone again.
[His voice remained leveled, despite how the shock was slowly fading back into his more neutral expression.]
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... She isn't quite sure what to say.]
I hope it brings as much relief to you as it did to me, Lord Mydeimos.
[She has only heard stories but... they were bad enough.]
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It is.
[Her skin held a warmth to it that he hadn't expected. Death's hands had always felt cold to him, like ice digging themselves inside his veins to drown him.
She was cold, but not more than any other person would be here.]
It is a comfort.
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Having gripped the hands of many battle-hardened individuals (and many Kremnoan's at that), Castorice would have expected that even beneath those gauntlets, Mydei's skin would be rough hewn.
Mystified as she is, she cannot help the way her thumbs slide over his skin, taking in the feeling of it and committing it to memory.]
That makes me more happy than you know. [It was such a long path they had walked.] I admit, seeing your smile after it was all said and done meant the world to me.
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The Cleaners had made sure of that.]
Is that so? [His smile returned, softening his features as he let her just... Explore his hands.]
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Human contact is still so new, and Mydei is so soft.]
The path you walked has been particularly difficult, Lord Mydei. In spite of that, you were a stalwart ally not just to the Chrysos Heirs, but to me, personally. Why would I not want to see your happiness at the end of this road?
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