[ Ah! It had seen fit to show Dipper the whole kit and caboodle. Lodi winces just enough for it to be visible, reaching a hand up to nudge at his glasses. Most would probably be bristling over having such a visceral recollection shoved down any and everyone's throats if they happened to walk by, but… even if he had severe misgivings, it would be easy enough to swallow them.
Besides. It wasn’t Dipper’s fault. ]
Ah, yeah, that. Well, I – first of all, I'm sorry that it saw fit to give you the whole rundown, and also that you could relate to it at all. The, uh, Nine, are – not fantastic at conveying information in a palatable way even firsthand! I can only imagine how disorienting it would’ve been secondhand.
[ Lodi spreads his hands with a humorless smile. ]
And, um, unfortunately you did witness an apocalypse level event. Of a sort. I hope that particular bit wasn’t familiar to you.
[It probably helps that he's a little bit Eldritch in his own right, when it comes to digesting stuff like this. He is both resistant and a sponge for the kind of stuff that would drive people insane.]
...yeah, about that.
[He also smiles in a very humorless way.]
The first time wasn't a full-blown end of the world, it was localized to a small area and orchestrated by megalomaniac nightmare demon who tried to turn my universe into an eternal frat-party of chaos. It was a lot worse in practice than how I described it, but we kept it from spreading, and it only lasted about a week before we took care of the demon. The ...second time, it was a lot less violent, but I was trapped in a realm that slowly broke down over time, and collapses on itself. That entire world fell away.
[So yeah, more he kind of gets.]
That wasn't what I was originally going to bring up, but yeah, that definitely also counts.
[ More than anything, there is a bitter draught of regret that pools on Lodi's tongue. It was one thing to have himself twisted inside and out, to bear witness to the end of a world: it was another thing entirely to hear that it had happened to another. He had had more than his fair share of troubles grappling with the reality of the end of one world, and it wasn't as though he was present when it happened.
His brow furrows. ]
I'm sorry. I – can't imagine what that must have been like. I'm... lucky, I suppose, to have witnessed it all secondhand. The fact that you had to endure all that, I... well. As nice as it might be to not be alone in all this, it's one of those things where...
[ He huffs out a quick breath. ]
I really would've rather been alone in all this. I really am deeply sorry.
[Lodi seems like a really nice guy, and it's a real shame that he's caught up in something like this. He probably should have expected that bringing some of this up would have made him feel awfully sympathetic. He got that vibe alone from their conversation over the netbook.]
[It might be a little tricky to navigate this without the poor guy feeling worse for him, which is not what he wants. Dipper ...handles his business pretty good, he thinks. He knows what he's been through is rough and more than unfair, but he's fine. He's got his feet under him.]
It's cool man. If it's one thing you can't do much about, it's an apocalypse.
[Even if he did blame himself for a long time over the circumstances of the first one, but he doesn't want to get into that.]
Anyway, what I really wanted to say was, I know what it's like to have been put in a situation that was framed as a "choice" but it really never was one, and you're stuck making the best of a situation. Picking up a phone or walking through a door... I know what it's like not to be able to go home.
[ They're having a empathy-off. Lodi, for his part, is... largely equally as objective, but god, he's has, what, two decades on Dipper? He threads his fingers together and lets his head hang for a moment. There is a part of him that distantly rebels at the idea of being comforted, but he also knows how healing it could be to commiserate.
He won't rail against this. It would be cruel, for one. For two – even allowing this connection didn't mean he would be shoveling his burdens onto Dipper's shoulders. God forbid. No, this was just – understanding. ]
... I appreciate that. Really, I do. At the very least, I can say that it's enabled me to meet some truly incredible people. See some truly incredible things, too.
[ He nods his head, slowly. ] Would've really loved to see a midwestern autumn at least one last time, though. Funny how the things that all started to seem a little commonplace get so special when you know you'll never see it again, huh?
no subject
Besides. It wasn’t Dipper’s fault. ]
Ah, yeah, that. Well, I – first of all, I'm sorry that it saw fit to give you the whole rundown, and also that you could relate to it at all. The, uh, Nine, are – not fantastic at conveying information in a palatable way even firsthand! I can only imagine how disorienting it would’ve been secondhand.
[ Lodi spreads his hands with a humorless smile. ]
And, um, unfortunately you did witness an apocalypse level event. Of a sort. I hope that particular bit wasn’t familiar to you.
no subject
...yeah, about that.
[He also smiles in a very humorless way.]
The first time wasn't a full-blown end of the world, it was localized to a small area and orchestrated by megalomaniac nightmare demon who tried to turn my universe into an eternal frat-party of chaos. It was a lot worse in practice than how I described it, but we kept it from spreading, and it only lasted about a week before we took care of the demon. The ...second time, it was a lot less violent, but I was trapped in a realm that slowly broke down over time, and collapses on itself. That entire world fell away.
[So yeah, more he kind of gets.]
That wasn't what I was originally going to bring up, but yeah, that definitely also counts.
no subject
His brow furrows. ]
I'm sorry. I – can't imagine what that must have been like. I'm... lucky, I suppose, to have witnessed it all secondhand. The fact that you had to endure all that, I... well. As nice as it might be to not be alone in all this, it's one of those things where...
[ He huffs out a quick breath. ]
I really would've rather been alone in all this. I really am deeply sorry.
no subject
[It might be a little tricky to navigate this without the poor guy feeling worse for him, which is not what he wants. Dipper ...handles his business pretty good, he thinks. He knows what he's been through is rough and more than unfair, but he's fine. He's got his feet under him.]
It's cool man. If it's one thing you can't do much about, it's an apocalypse.
[Even if he did blame himself for a long time over the circumstances of the first one, but he doesn't want to get into that.]
Anyway, what I really wanted to say was, I know what it's like to have been put in a situation that was framed as a "choice" but it really never was one, and you're stuck making the best of a situation. Picking up a phone or walking through a door... I know what it's like not to be able to go home.
no subject
He won't rail against this. It would be cruel, for one. For two – even allowing this connection didn't mean he would be shoveling his burdens onto Dipper's shoulders. God forbid. No, this was just – understanding. ]
... I appreciate that. Really, I do. At the very least, I can say that it's enabled me to meet some truly incredible people. See some truly incredible things, too.
[ He nods his head, slowly. ] Would've really loved to see a midwestern autumn at least one last time, though. Funny how the things that all started to seem a little commonplace get so special when you know you'll never see it again, huh?