sticksandbones | EVENT 009

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EVENT 009

RULER OF MY HEART

HOW SWEET IT IS

As time ticks on in that strange, wobbly way it does in this place — where the nights feel like they last days, and the days feel like they’re only a few hours long — the fog, ever so gradually, rolls back in, until it’s that oppressive black wall it normally is. It means no more trips into the greater forest for the time being, though the surrounding ring of treeline around the Grove and the burned town to the north remains readily accessible.

The woods, now awake and alert, sends its regards with the occasional roar of a beast in the far distance, and the occasional biblically-accurate deer wandering into the Grove proper to nibble on grasses starting to spring up through the snow. Speaking of things springing up through the snow, there are some new trees near the riverbank, sporting perfectly normal lemons that are growing perfectly normal eyeballs. It’s fine, they’re edible, although they don’t seem to be native. Hmm.

All is peaceful thus far, until you open your dresser drawer. Suddenly, a little creature flies out at you, or cries out angrily because you woke it up. Perhaps, that creature climbs on you instead, shuffling into your pocket to snuggle up. Or, maybe you lay down for a nap, and your pillow feels just a touch lumpier than normal, and when you move your head, something squeals at you. No matter where you find them, even if they’re being a nuisance and eating your shoelaces, these creatures are harmless: they’re merely cold, and you, a Warm Thing, will now be their space heater.

I REALLY LIKE YOU

One of Ydalir’s secret passions is cooking. You would not know this, because she doesn’t have the ability to eat, but that doesn’t mean she lost the ability to cook. A holiday is coming, you see, and it’s tradition for everyone to partake in cute chocolates and have candlelit dinners! (She will not be providing the dinners, that’s on you.)

What feels like early on in the month, Ydalir will approach everybody with a box of chocolates customized for each person with their favourite flavours. For those of you who don’t eat human food, don’t worry: These are safe for consumption for vampires and robots alike.

Like with most things here, though, things are not as they seem. Eating one of these chocolates suddenly makes you feel very, very cuddly, like suddenly you wouldn’t care who you snuggled up to right now so long as you were comfortable. With the candy in your system, you feel affectionate to anyone who you come across, even if you may not have liked them previously.

As it turns out, mixing magic with cooking makes a potion. Ydalir swears up and down she didn’t mean it, but enjoy your cuddle-chocolates anyway!

LET’S STAY TOGETHER

Sometimes, when you touch another person, your mind goes elsewhere. This isn’t a result of the chocolates, but rather some other force at work. If you see two people asleep somewhere — the ground, the couch, the kitchen counter — it’s best to leave them where they are, unless you want to risk passing out with them and seeing what they see. They’ll wake up in a little while.

What those who get dragged into their own minds see depends on the person, and what lies within their heart. These “heartspaces” are made up of core memories to the participants — important locations, emotional states given form, meaningful items, or anything else, really. When in contact with another person, these heartspaces will combine into one, perfectly interactable and wanderable at your leisure. Touching objects within these spaces will play a core memory before your eyes, or even change the scenery a bit, depending on whose heart it is you’re messing with.

Perhaps now is a good time for bonding and learning about one another, in the comfort and privacy of your own minds. After all, you won’t exit the heartspaces for quite a bit.

PAIN IN MY HEART

…just try not to break anything while you're there.

It might be an accident. Maybe you walk backwards into a table containing a framed photograph, and that photo falls and the glass breaks, the picture inside the frame ruined. Maybe you broke that cheaply-made but still-important toy while fiddling with it. Or, perhaps, it wasn’t an accident at all: You broke that thing on purpose, you punched through that wall, you set that fire.

Whatever broke the thing in question doesn’t matter in the end. What matters is that the memory associated with it begins to fade away like smoke on the wind. Fixing the broken object will bring that memory back, but failing to fix it before you wake up from the dream will have that memory gone forever.

Although, there are some pretty bad memories out there… if the memory broken was terrible, or if the item in question showed someone a dark secret you didn’t want them to know… shouldn’t it stay gone?

SPARK NOTES

CLICK TO EXPAND!

HOW SWEET IT IS

The fog is back. The creatures are clinging to you because they're cold. The eyeball lemons are, uh... lemon...y. Enjoy your completely normal slice of nature.

I REALLY LIKE YOU

Ydalir has made everybody chocolates! They're delicious and induce feelings of affection and a deep need to cuddle others. Surely this won't go terribly awry. Also, she's very sorry.

LET’S STAY TOGETHER

Sometimes, touching someone else takes you to a combined mental space made up of the important things to you and the person you touched. You can touch things within the space to play memories, or explore the environment together. Outside, you're just asleep on the floor somewhere probably, so hopefully no one trips over you.

PAIN IN MY HEART

Be careful in the heartspaces. Anything you break will take a relevant memory with it. If you can find a way to repair it, the memory will come back. Although, sometimes memories need to stay gone, don't they? Maybe leaving it broken is okay?

OOC

Happy February! The mod team will not apologise for the amount of pink in this event log. If you'd like to plot with people for this event, head over to OOC plotting. We will allow you to make up various plantanimal creatures for this event, they don't have to be like the images linked as examples. Have fun, enjoy creatures, they're here to stay. Reminder this month will have Heimrquest, so if you want to sign up, please do so on the OOC plotting post.

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[He knows it can't possibly end pleasant — you don't end up in the Eye of Michael and have things go well. Maybe it's a good thing Livio doesn't elaborate, though, Vash is already misty eyed enough as it is.

Are they close enough for Vash to reach out? If they're not, he'll sidle a few steps closer and lay his hand over Livio's. He'll even thread their fingers together, if given the chance.]

The good thing is... it's never too late for second chances. That's what I think, at least.

[livio stiffens but doesn't fight vash off. his ears feel hot, even in this space. when was the last time someone held his hand? was it back here -- at hopeland?

he's quiet for a decent chunk of time, wrestling with himself.]

... Do you actually believe that? You can't even forgive yourself for inadvertent manslaughter. I'm a repeat murderer.

Of course I can.

[Livio's hand is squeezed gingerly, a rather tender gesture considering the all-but tenuous friendship between the two of them.]

You and Nick aren't that different, right? What you wound up caught in, and all that. And if I can believe that, beneath everything he's done, that Nick is a good man, why wouldn't that be true for you, too?

[the touch, while gentle, perhaps because of the gentleness, makes livio's skin crawl. but still, he doesn't move away. somehow it seems like that would be akin to slapping vash in the face.]

Because I didn't "get caught up." Nick -- they used the kids as leverage against him. I chose it. I sought out the Eye. I knew what I was walking into.

Even still.

[He doesn't squeeze again, nor does he break the contact. He merely offers a tender smile to Livio.]

Have you ever heard of a blank ticket? It's something my mom used to tell me about.

[livio takes a deep breath, focusing on relaxing his muscles as he exhales. this is important to vash, and he's trying to help... it's only fair that livio tries to see his point.]

No, I haven't. What's that about?

So. The way she tells it is that everyone has a blank ticket in life. Always.

[His eyes close behind his glasses. The smile he wears is sad but genuine, one that's full of both love and loss.]

At any time you can take that ticket and write a new destination. Doesn't matter where you've been or gone. You can always change your direction.

... It sounds nice. Something I'd like to try if I get the chance. [back home, at least. where it matters.

but as far as livio is concerned, changing direction by itself isn't enough. it'll never be enough.]

You don't have to wait. You're already on a different path here, right? Haven't pulled a gun on me or anything!

[He shifts, whole body angling so that he can properly face Livio with that beaming smile of his.]

You're already changing.

[okay... vash facing and looking directly at him while still holding his hand is perhaps where livio decides it's too much. his gaze darts away and he finally finds the strength to pull his hand back, as well.]

Things are different here. I can't make it up to the people I've hurt. And even if I could --

... I appreciate the sentiment, Vash. I think it's beautiful. Really. But a blank ticket doesn't erase sin.

[If it had just been the words Livio spoke, maybe things would have been easier. But it's more than what he says, it's in how he withdraws. In doing so, Livio brings down a solid wall around them, and there isn't much to be done about it. Vash wills himself to keep control, to manage a tepid smile. The problem is that he's never been able to lie to his heart.

A thunderous boom resounds in the space they share. What little of Vash's heart peeks through turns to night once more. This time, there are no ships. There's only a ruined town behind them, cut to pieces as if by a million strokes of a blade. Loved ones clutch tattered remains of bodies, cleanly cut in twain. The sand runs red with blood beneath their feet.

The false smile rapidly fades from Vash's face. Now there sits only outright horror. He begins backing away from Livio. Each step he takes leaves a fresh splatter of blood beneath him. The woman at the edges of their shared vision is gone. Now, there's only the passing glint of knives.]

I need to go - [He chokes it out, quick as he can.] I'm sorry.

[livio isn't prepared for another scene like this, especially since it comes out of presumably nowhere -- his eyes and feet widen as he instinctively goes on the defensive.

as a mere lowly assassin, livio never witnessed knives' slaughter firsthand. but he knows from the fact that this is vash's memory, the shine of blades, and the sliced up ruins of buildings and bodies that knives is -- was -- the one responsible.

but where did it come from?

he can't just let vash run off, not when there could be very real danger. his hand extends back toward the independent.]

Vash, don't. We should stick together.

It's fine - [His words come out snappily, but it's more out of desperation and anger. He puts a hand to his head, willing himself to stop, to get ahold of himself. His emotions are getting the better of his mind, snapping to villages that came before — a slideshow of towns he's been run out of, again and again.

Sometimes more than once.]

You need to go. Get away from me.

[He's used to rejection. He can swallow it down and fake a happy face. But while they're connected like this, he has no hope.]

[maybe the flashes of places in quick succession -- some looking more battered than others -- clues livio in just a bit. a mental spiral, possibly a panic attack? liv isn't a stranger to either of those things. and he's plenty familiar with pushing people away, despite knowing somewhere deep down that he wants companionship. maybe it's presumptuous to assume vash is similar, but leaving him all alone while he's freaking out seems far more cruel.]

I'm not going, Vash. [and if he wants to argue...] There's nowhere to go.

Hey... Try to breathe slower, okay? Find something to focus on. Can I -- touch you?

[Vash instinctively takes another step back. His eyes open, incredulty splitting across his features. Surely Livio can see why that offer is a problem. It doesn't quite feel like a slap in the face, but it definitely doesn't settle well within his stomach.]

You were the one who didn't want contact in the first place. [Another step back is taken, but at least he's been slowed? It's progress, right?]

I don't want you to make yourself uncomfortable. Please - [His head shakes rapidly.] - I just want to be alone.

[is that what this is about?]

It isn't like that... I don't have anything against you. It was just -- a lot, at once.

[fuck, why can't he be better at putting shit into words? vash's upset is his fault, and he can't do a damn thing to fix it. he's only making it worse, like he always does.

now intermixed with the sounds of towns playing in sequence is the scorn of dozens of children, of judgmental old masters, of the scum of no man's land, all accusing him in different ways of being a monster or a failure or inviting the things they've done upon himself.

the voices are distorted, almost unintelligible in the dreamlike state, but the sentiment is clear, and livio shrinks under it. he's torn between trying to focus on vash and hoping, praying that the snippets of memory aren't as real to vash as they are to him.]

[The voices almost overwhelm Vash at first. He doesn't understand what they're saying, but he does know they're unfamiliar to him. Still, that doesn't mean he can't feel the way the tone has shifted dramatically, both in the world around him, and for Livio.

As if he needed another reason to feel guilty.

Regret hits him hard, welling painfully within his chest. He finds himself stricken immobile, unsure if he should move forward to try and provide comfort, or back to provide space. Making contact had gone over terribly, so surely trying to do so again would be a terrible idea. But he also can't just leave Livio behind, right?]

Livio - [He takes a step forward, hesitant at first.] Maybe we - both should try calming down. How about that?

[livio can't quite formulate words in the moment, but he hesitates. the echoes press down harder, enough that he feels like he might crumble under their weight, but... vash is still here. he's still trying, even when this is clearly fucking uncomfortable.

he forces himself to move slightly closer, even if he's also too scared of rejection to extend a hand without confirmation from vash. at least this much effort toward something positive dims the overwhelming sound from that a pack of snarling dogs closer to a low hiss.]

I -- I'm sorry. I should... be in control.

[A bitter laugh erupts from Vash's throat. He looks up, studying the fragments that remain of his own outburst, and then shakes his head. His gaze falls to Livio, looking so small despite his size. He knows he shouldn't reach out again when he's been pushed away already but -]

I'm not in control either. [He says this as he reaches out, hands bracing against Livio's shoulders. His own heart rails against the other man's grief, but right now it can't break through the well of emotions. It's for the best, because it makes it that much easier for Vash to swallow his own grief.]

We can do this together, though. Deep breaths. All that.

[it's ironic that vash offers the same advice livio had a minute ago, but he doesn't dwell on that. he does his best to follow the instructions, and it's easier when vash holds his shoulders. he takes a deep breath, even though it's a little shaky, and reaches up to lay one of his hands over vash's.

it takes a moment, but the voices quiet even further.]

... Together means you too, yeah?

[He's nothing if not a hypocrite, even if you won't catch him admitting to it. It doesn't mean he doesn't know, isn't fully aware that what he's doing is exactly what had been offered. At least this time, when the offer is extended, albeit in a roundabout way, he doesn't immediately shy away.

... Just give him a second.]

Yeah, I... I'll be here too. Don't worry.

[livio wouldn't call vash a hypocrite over something like this. not outright, at least. he isn't hurting anyone. really only himself. and liv knows how much more painful that would make things for him. so he freely gives the patience that vash asks from him.]

Take your time. It'll... be okay, right?

As soon as we're out of here, it will be.

[The longer he has to deal with the effects of his damn psyche, the worse off he is. It'll be easier, once he can smile through whatever problems he has and pretend like he's entirely unbothered. Until then, he tries to keep his focus on the happier memories, if only to keep the tattered bits of his mind in place.]

[liv can't argue that. the less their emotions influence the world around them, the better. god knows livio is all over the place at any given moment, and there's far, far worse in the depths of his mind than the angry voices of people he's disappointed.]

How d'you think we can leave...?

I'm not sure yet. But there has to be a way.

[Rather than making the mistake of grabbing Livio's hand this time, he takes hold of his shirt. He won't be leaving his friend behind, that's for sure. He'll make sure Livio toddles along right behind him as he makes his way -

Well, let's be honest. He heads off in a random direction.]

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cw: implied child abuse, victim blaming

cw: implied child abuse, victim blaming

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