sticksandbones | good morning starshine

[ That gets a wider smile out of him, and he inclines his head gently towards the Hedgehog. He might not be able to hear him - possibly could if he used his Souljam but - but Pure Vanilla can speak directly to him. ]

Consider it done, my friend. A week should be sufficient to allow me enough time to recover fully to put the same amount of power into it.

[ And then he ponders Josh thoughtfully. There is still the hesitance in handing someone the Souljam, but with his recent experience with the Beast - and before that, handing it over for testing - he's realized to guard such a thing is inviting Corruption. So with a small smile, he reaches up to unhook the gem from it's slot on his cape, then hand it out to Josh. ]

They are, indeed. It cost me my normal sight to see such Light, and even now there are times I hesitate to Look. It was fairly recently I was unable to handle what I had seen, as well.

[ Should Josh take the Gem, he'll feel a resonance. It's not the same as if the Light had chosen him - sorry Josh there is just no way you embody the Truth enough for it to speak to you - but Josh will be able to feel the power. The presence.

The tie still there, weakened by planes, to Deceit. ]

[The hedgehog seems to understand, and nods to Pure Vanilla, very politely swallowing his mouthful despite the voracity he'd been showing before. It isn't spoken, but in Pure Vanilla's head, he will hear a soft but very polite voice saying:]

'Thank you.'

[The gem being handed over so willingly is a surprise, but not an unpleasant one. With something so powerful, Joshua didn't expect to be allowed to touch it at all. Interesting... He takes it as offered, holding it gently in his hands. He knows how valuable it is, and he isn't that inconsiderate.

He can feel that power, though. It's strong. Similar to the uncanny feeling of being watched, somehow, and he's not sure if he particularly likes it. But the tie to Deceit is hard to miss, when he looks a bit deeper. There's potential in this, like in all sources of power, to unbalance.

Hmm. Best keep an eye on this one, just in case.]

Do you think it was worth giving up your sight for?

[ As Josh examines the Souljam in a way that Pure Vanilla thought he would - that of someone with magical means themselves - he reaches out to gently pet the Hedgehogs head as it munches and rests. A light touch with his finger.

And to the question? ]

Yes.

[ No hesitance. ]

I would have given much more, and gratefully, for the Truth that came with it. The understanding it bestowed upon me. I was seeking the answers to the worth of power, to how it should be best applied, and it answered. It has thus guided my life to it's best use. It was more than worth it.

[Revati seems content to just sit and munch away for now, so Joshua leaves him to it. The conversation has taken an interesting turn, after all.]

How much more is worth that truth?

[He tips his head, curious, and hands the Souljam back. He'd given up quite a lot himself, of course, but he's more interested in Pure Vanilla's answer.]

[ Ah, that IS an interesting question. Taking the Souljam back, he affixes it back to his robe, pondering as he does. What is the Truth worth? He thinks of White Lily and her fracturing, for the pursuit of something akin to Truth. For Knowledge.

Why did a piece of Knowledge go to you? It should have gone to her.

How much of himself would he give, to be allowed to wield this Grace? ]

I believe there is no easy answer for that. If I give everything I am, then mayhap I would lose the piece of myself that resonated with the Light to begin with. Yet I would give, gladly, what was demanded of me. What was required. For with the Souljam by my side, I am able to help those who need it. I am able to care for and keep everyone safe and healthy. I am able to bring joy, peace, and light to their lives, so they needn't worry or fret.

[ He smiles towards Josh, his Staff's eye curving upwards into one as well. ]

[Aha. That is an interesting answer, just as he expected. Joshua ponders it for a moment, ponders the staff that seems to be smiling just as brightly at him as Pure Vanilla is, and hums thoughtfully.]

So, you'd shirk caring for yourself to care for others, all because this gave you the ability to? That's quite a burden you're shouldering there.

[Hopefully, that isn't what quickens that seed of deceit that he detected in the Souljam. It is, in a sense, lying to yourself, isn't it? Taking on such a massive burden of truth and refusing to admit the toll that it's taking on you?]

Perhaps, yet it is one I shoulder gladly. And-

[ He pauses and his smile turns wistful and fond, as he turns his gaze out towards the Grove proper. He's unaware he's answering Josh's thought, as his ears lift a little to listen to the Groves noises. ]

I am truly not taking it on alone. There are four others graced by similar Souljams, all signifying a Virtue they correspond to the most. Resolution. Passion. Abundance. Freedom. They stand beside me, and they share my burdens as much as I share theirs. Ah-haha, even if they had to yell at me about trying to keep my burdens to myself. It is a lesson I will soon not forget again. And beyond that, there are even others around me, who lift me up when I falter, who cheer me on as much as I cheer them on. I am nothing without them. I could give everything, yet without them around me, what would be the point?

[ His friends. Dark Cacao, Hollyberry, Golden Cheese... White Lily. Gingerbrave. His heart swells with love and affection for them all. ]

[Ah. Well, isn't that so very prime time anime? Joshua huffs out a laugh, tipping his head back to look up at the sky.]

Sounds like you have quite the support network behind you, then.

[He lets that hang for a second, just a heartbeat, then shifts his eyes to give Pure Vanilla a sidelong glance.]

Just make sure you don't catch the embodiment of Truth lying to himself for any reason.

[He felt it. He knows it's there. Don't try to ignore it or say it's not.]

[ A cute game about Cookies actually!

He smiles softly and nods. Though he's missing them dearly here, he has Dark Cacao and he knows the man won't hesitate to shake him again.

And ... then he pauses to the glance, his Staff noticing it from it's own side-eye. Ah. He felt Shadow Milk. That makes him sigh softly, his Staff closing it's eye. ]

It has happened before, I'm afraid. Where I could not trust myself, or whose voice I was hearing. Yet a dear friend gave me the solution for that. When I cannot trust myself, then I place my trust in my friends.

[Hm. Joshua snorts softly in lieu of another laugh, eyeing the gem pinned back to Pure Vanilla's robes. It could be dangerous. For now it seems fairly innocent, but...]

And if your friends aren't around? What then?

[Always have a contingency plan. He tips his head a little more towards Pure Vanilla, so he isn't looking out of his peripheral anymore.]

You can't always count on them being around, you know. Who knows what this place has in store? Solutions that might work at home may not work the same here.

[ What then, indeed? Will he fall to Deceit, like Shadow Milk? There is some Truth in the other still, after all. The concepts are intrinsically linked. He thinks of his inability to truly stop White Lily's pursuit. He failed to stop her, would he fail to stop himself as well?

No. He can't. ]

If I find I cannot trust myself, and I am alone, then I will do what needs be done to make sure I bring no harm to anyone.

[ Whether that means taking himself out of the equation, or by breaking his link to the Souljam, and letting it find another to wield it. ]

If I can no longer discern the differences between Truth and Deceit, then I no longer have the right to bear the Jam.

[It's quite the heavy response, loaded down with responsibility. Joshua can feel the weight of that burden on his own shoulders, because he's carried it before, knows it intimately despite his refusal to acknowledge it. He'd at least known how to identify the tipping point and do something about it. It sounds like Pure Vanilla does, too.

The moment of silence that follows Pure Vanilla's words is broken by a hearty crunch from the hedgehog, like a cat crunching down on a particularly hard piece of kibble.]

Sounds like you've got it all figured out, then. As long as you're confident you can follow through before succumbing to something unsavory, of course.

[Deceit is one hell of a shift from Truth, after all. It's all too easy to stumble.]

[ The crunch startles him for a brief moment, his ears flicking up into Alert! position, until he realizes it's just the Hedgehog chewing on the Moonstone. He shoots the little Star a fond, affectionate smile. It helps ease the tension that had built remarkably well, and he chuckles when Josh says he has it figured out. ]

I am confident, my friend. There may be times I cannot fully trust myself, but I know I will never let myself be used to harm anyone else.

[Chop down the tree with your own hands.

He had denied it then, and he will deny it again and again. He is not a Puppet to Deceit. He smiles and shifts himself a little, tucking his legs up, getting more comfortable in almost a sheep manner, before tilting his head. ]

May I ask you a question?

[Tension? What tension? Josh hadn't felt any tension at all. Of course, he hadn't been the one under the gun. He reaches out, brushing his fingertip gently over the top of the hedgehog's head.]

Very noble of you. But good to hear.

[Chop down the tree with your own hands, indeed.

The question makes Josh turn his head, less of a tilt this time, raising his eyebrows just the tiniest bit in interest.]

I don't see why not. I've been asking you plenty.

[Within reason, is the unspoken caveat. He won't answer anything that he doesn't feel comfortable answering.]

[ Then he most certainly may not like this question. Pure Vanilla's smile never changes, the feeling from the man never changes - but his eyes part just a little. Blue and gold and strangely depthless, with a notable lack of pupils, and Josh will notice in turn his Staff's eye has closed. He is not looking directly at Josh, but more like he's perceiving the air around him. Maybe where his true form would extend and expand, and when he does glance directly at the other, he does it mostly from the side of his eye.

He's not looking at Josh's soul, precisely, but like Josh inspect the Souljam, Pure Vanilla - and the Light - are inspecting him. ]

What are you?

[ There's no animosity in his voice. Nothing but frank curiosity. ]

Edited 2024-04-03 20:01 (UTC)

[... ah. That is, indeed, a question. And that is, indeed, quite a look! Joshua feels like he's being put under a microscope suddenly, being perceived in a way that he doesn't entirely like. It's one thing when a celestial hedgehog does it. It's another entirely when it's Pure Vanilla.

He doesn't sober up, but he does go notably still. Hm.]

Wow. You sure jumped right for that one.

[His smile spreads, just a little. It's not unkind. It is very clearly a mask.]

Let's just say... an observer. [As he speaks, he gestures smoothly with one hand, the other moving to prop up his chin with the elbow on one knee.] Why do you ask?

Aha, I did, do forgive me, I felt it offered a comparable level of questioning.

[ He can see that smile is a mask. So- Josh doesn't like it when someone digs in return. To know but not be known. Someone, then, who sees himself as higher? The color of his being, and the brief shifting glances he sees before he closes his eyes tell him enough. As well as Josh's answer. Ah. An observer.

He smiles in return, his Staff opening, blinking before turning to GLARE at Josh. It's not Pure Vanilla that's glaring though. That seems to be the staff entirely. And Pure Vanilla shakes it briskly until it looks a little disoriented and- well he does too cause he's looking out that. ]

Not many can look into the Souljam, and see it for anything than what it is. Only a few beings in our world can. Elementals, the Faeries, and Dragons. Not even other Ancients - ah, what we call ourselves due to our ages - can peer into a Jam not tied to us.

[Oh, he sees that look on the staff. It's interesting in its own right. As far as he could tell before, Pure Vanilla sees through it, but for it to act on its own? His eyes narrow at it briefly, but his smile doesn't wane in the slightest.]

That's the fun about being from different worlds. Not everything is like what you're familiar with.

[Case in point: talking cookies.

Still, it sounds like Pure Vanilla turned around and used his abilities on him. If Pure Vanilla is seeing the true him... hmm.]

Well? What did you see, then? What do you think I am?

[ Precisely, sir. Yet as far as he's aware, that means you're Something Else, because you most certainly aren't human. He hums softly to the question of what he saw. ]

I did not look straight on, I did not peer too deep, but I saw the You that would be without this form.

[ Indistinct, hazy. Bright. ]

I caught Flickers of other things, but it would have been rude to look deep without permission to do so, so I did not. But I heard voices. A busy Kingdom. I felt affection, fondness. But it was in a detached manner.

[ An observer, indeed. Pure Vanilla smiles a little. It's a gentle, sweet smile. He knows how lonely such a position is. When the world moves by without you. ]

You seem like a Dragon, to me. A creature that is not what we would consider our Gods - those are the Witches that first baked us - but something that is yet above us. A different power, one beyond most Cookie ken.

[It's... strange, how accurate and still very much vague Pure Vanilla's vision of him is. A busy place full of voices and a sense of detached affection... He can't really deny any of that. As he'd told Haz before, he's found himself rooting for the humans of his district, finding a fondness for how hard they continue to struggle to exist in the face of certain doom.

If that's all he saw... hm. Still not ideal, but it's better than seeing everything.

The claim of seeming like a dragon makes him laugh, soft but quick, almost like a quiet bark. What an assessment.]

You're not wrong, in a sense.

[He holds his free hand up in front of him, looking at his palm. It's little effort to play with his own soul coding - in what looks like a shimmering of pixels, his hand and arm seem to gain scales, claws, but bright violet fading into dark, and heavily stylized.]

In my language, our word for dragon is a part of my surname. Not the right kanji for it, of course, but there it is all the same.

[ There is peeking at the edges, and staring straight on, and the latter is rude without permission. So Pure Vanilla only gazed from the sides, allowed the Truth to see a vague picture. Maybe someday he will Look proper, but for now, there is no need.

He didn't sense anything malicious in Joshua enough to feel the need to.

He aha's softly as Joshua shifts his hand. Yes, that is quite like a Dragon who would hide their form in a Cookie body. He can't help but peek, just a little, as Josh changes his hand, but what he sees there is befuddling. Beyond the pixelation, is is like life powder is being rearranged. Fascinating. ]

It would seem you are very similar, indeed, my friend. You even shift your form towards a common one to hide your true nature. Yet, there is one difference, I am glad to note.

[ Peepaw beam activated. ]

I have felt no sense of malevolence from you. Our Dragons watch as well, or walk amongst us, but merely to sow chaos and disorder. They are not kind creatures, and often act selfishly. But the fondness I felt from you speaks of your true desires. And I'm glad.

[It very much is similar to playing with life powder! Soul code is, at least for him, something that he can more or less rearrange in his sleep. The dragon-like visage of his arm only holds for a moment, and then he shifts it right back to normal, like nothing even happened.]

Ah, is that so?

[But, as Pure Vanilla goes on... Joshua finds that the observation leaves an unsettling feeling in his stomach. Pure Vanilla may have got a sense of things, but the broad generalization that results of it...

He's not a kind creature. He acts selfishly. Pure Vanilla doesn't know him like he thinks he does.]

... well, I'm glad that I have your vote of confidence, then.

[Even if it isn't entirely correct!]

I do trust my secret is safe with you, all things considered?

[ Aw, that's the same tone of voice Strawberry Crepe Cookie takes when they're very close to going nuh-uh! about being called kind. Moments after giving the Raisin Cookies rides on the Wafflebots, or playing tag with them.

It makes him smile, slightly in amusement. Keep telling yourself that, Joshua.

He lays his hand on his chest, near his Souljam, and inclines his head gently. ]

Of course, my friend. I will not reveal anything about you to anyone. It would not be my place.

[ Shifting his Staff, he plants it into the ground for leverage and pushes himself to his feet, rubbing the small of his back gently as if he's truly feeling it. Never mind his body is young. ]

Allow me to take my leave, my friend, I am feeling a little tired. I promise in a week I will return with another Moonstone.

[ If he has one on his personage, he does have a vague idea of using the other five for other things, but if not there are other methods. He smiles to Josh and the Hedgehog, inclining his head to them both. ]

Thank you for speaking with me, it's been quite interesting, and I enjoyed it immensely.

[Only he may know why you should like him, and those reasons are so highly situational that they might as well not exist! Though, he's finding that this place keeps rudely surprising him. He's not enjoying it.]

Well, then. You keep your end, and I'll keep mine, hm?

[About the Souljam, and the fragment of Deceit hidden within.

Joshua doesn't rise along with Pure Vanilla, less out of rudeness and more because he has a hedgehog to watch out for, though he probably wouldn't have stood anyway. The hedgehog crunches away at the last little fragments of stone.]

Of course. No need to wear yourself out, now.

[These stairs aren't the most comfortable long term seating option anyway. Josh inclines his head, and the hedgehog follows suit.]

I'm always up for a little conversation, if you're ever feeling in the mood. It's hard to find someone that's capable of actually piquing my interest.

[ The comment makes him smile and he inclines his head again. Though he will be truthful to those who asks, he'd rather not people know his struggles. Those are his burdens he doesn't feel like laying on others, even if he knows he should. ]

Thank you, my friend. Please, take care of yourself, and take care of our little friend. And the offer is the same to you. Should you ever feel in the mood for a chat, for whatever reasoning you may have, you need only seek me out. My house is behind the School, and my door is always open. Farewell for now.

[ Another little bow, and Pure Vanilla will go ahead and take his leave. He does need to rest, but also time to think. Joshua gave him some things to ponder on. ]

good morning starshine

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