Dipper Pines (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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sticksandbones2024-12-18 12:05 am
ghostharasser) wrote in sticksandbones2024-12-18 12:05 amEntry tags:
ghostharasser) wrote in sticksandbones2024-12-18 12:05 am
The next day -> The day after that.
He isn't sure how long he wallowed on the stairs, but he doesn't go back to sleep that night. He eventually forces himself up to check the rest of the fireplaces and woodstoves and and by the time he's done with that the sun is starting to come out, albeit behind thick winter clouds.
Dipper hasn't come home, but Stan makes enough breakfast in case he does. It's something useful to do in the meantime while he tells himself the kid needs some space, probably. He isn't a monster for not chasing after him in the snow. Sure, he...sent him into the snow, made him feel like he had to run into the snow, but--
But...
Some of the bacon burns. It's fine.
When Ford wakes up he distracts him over coffee by asking if fireproofing an entire house is actually a thing they could do. Granted, he does want to know the answer, but he finds himself only half-listening to the answer. It's just comforting to listen to Ford's voice and not have someone asking what the hell is wrong with him today. Obviously it's a practical question, not one born out of nightmares or anything like that.
Eventually they part and Stan lights the day's fires as carefully as he can manage. He spends a lot of time staring at Dipper's coat and trying to tell himself that he'd have to come back for it, right? But, he doesn't. The day goes by and no matter how many things Stan does to keep his mind off of things, none of it works. His nerves are screaming but the Pines compass says Dipper's alive, and in the general direction of the inn.
Night falls, and there's still no sign of Dipper. Obviously. Why would Dipper willingly come back if he thinks Stan hates him or doesn't want him around? He was just trying to help, even if Stan didn't want him to. He didn't do anything wrong, and Stan still snapped at him, like he'd turned into his...
...When did he get in Dipper's room again?
Stan tries to pack a bag, but he can't make himself do it without feeling stupidly nauseous about it, so in the end he just folds the change of clothes and awkwardly carries it bundled in Dipper's coat, leaving the bag on the floor carelessly.
He marches through the snow with it and heads toward the inn. He tries really hard to think about absolutely nothing at all between point A and B.
Dipper is easy enough to find - he left his keys at home, so he's on one of the couches. Stan took long enough that Dipper's actually asleep, which sort of makes this easier actually. They need to talk, he knows they do, but something about seeing Dipper sleeping out in the open, on whatever free couch is available? It fucks with his head in the worst way.
In the morning, Dipper will wake up with a coat draped over him and a little pile of badly folded clothes on top of that. There's also a note with it all, short and sweet, weighed down by his Inn room key.]
(YOU CAN ALWAYS COME BACK)
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[His chat with Beat helps a lot. It helps him get his thoughts in order so he can really think about the issues here and not spiral off into incoherent tangents. He knows a few things for sure: He knows he was right about the Fallen Sun meddling. He knows Stan was deflecting super hard to not talk about shit. He strongly suspects his blow up was due to corruption or something similar. And finally, that he has to tackle this from some other angle or he really will drag them into another dreamscape incident.]
[And then he thinks about going back home and something grips his heart in a way he isn't prepared to process. The emotions that he soaked up during their fight are still with him, like nasty, lingering memories, and so walking back into that again is the last thing his nerves want right now.]
[So he puts it off another day. The Inn has plenty to occupy him with. There's food. There's people. The fire is nice. He sleeps a bunch. Probably a little too much. Alcaid wakes him up suddenly by yanking a black feather out of his hair, only to find that someone's dropped a jacket on him and...]
[Ah.]
...Fine.
[Alcaid fusses at him while he heads upstairs to his room. He gets dressed, takes a proper shower, spends a good hour just, going over everything in his head so he's prepared for when he gets back and finally, finally locks up to go home.]
[He spends a little too long on the porch before he just pushes the door open, bracing himself for whatever stray emotion might be in the house right now. Once inside, his nerves buzz uncomfortably under his skin, but he presses on, shutting the door behind him loud enough to hopefully alert anyone on this floor that he was home.]
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When he's comfortable Stan can sleep like the dead, but all of the pent-up nerves still have him on high-alert, so when the door slams he startles awake. He catches his breath, looks around and--]
--Dipper!
[The overwhelming emotion that comes from Stan isn't a negative one though, even after everything. There are some unpleasant swirls of shame and regret mixed in, but the most important one is pure relief. He didn't ruin everything forever! Dipper came back!
...Wait, is it weird to be so surprised? Is it obvious Dipper would have come back? Fuck. Stan sits up and awkwardly coughs into his hand.]
I mean...welcome back! Glad you, uh. Got the stuff I left you.
[He isn't trying to avoid the apology - he's trying to avoid drowning the poor kid in it when he hasn't even gotten a word in edgewise. He can't just slam Dipper with too much at once, not unless he wants him running off in the snow again.]
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[He feels a little uncertain how to take that. Maybe he should feel validated? But that thought doesn’t sit well with him and instead he feels tired again.]
Yeah. I um. Thanks.
[He did need the change of clothes and his keys pretty bad but hahaha, he wasn’t about to just turn back around and get his things when the whole point was that he needed air.]
[Now that they’re standing here awkwardly in the doorway, he isn’t sure what to say. All that rehearsing just disappears and he finds himself getting anxious again.]
I’m …I’m just gonna- [He nods towards the stairs like he might make for his room.]
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[It slips out of Stan so fast that it even surprises him a little bit. He can't keep sitting in this feeling though, not if he can do something about it. Not on top of everything else that's felt wrong.]
I. I just wanna say something real quick...
[He's clearly nervous about it though. He wrings his hands in front of him, struggling to get the words out at first.]
I wanted to say...I shouldn't've snapped at you. I was being a jerk 'cause I was tired and woke up in the middle of the night over something dumb I didn't wanna talk about. But that's not on you and-- and I shouldn't've made you feel like you couldn't be here.
[That's most of the words, except the important one. But eventually, that comes out too.]
...Sorry.
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[Dipper is stunned silent actually, so yeah be waits and lets Stan say his piece and when he’s done he doesn’t actually need his empathy to tell he’s being sincere.]
[Instead he feels a weird pang of guilt and relief, as something becomes incredibly apparent to him, to what this must have looked like from Stans perspective. He has to take a deep breath to keep from being overwhelmed but when he does he shakes his head.]
No- I-I’m sorry, too. I’m not sorry for pushing but- leaving wasn’t something I actually wanted to do.
[He’s going to try to explain while keeping himself together but at this point he isn’t sure of its the empathy or his real emotions here that’s causing the knot in his throat.]
You- you’ve never yelled at me like that before and then everything you were feeling just filled the room until I couldn’t breathe. I had to get out or I was gonna lose control of my powers.
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None of it is anything Stan didn't already know, but it makes him glad he said something.]
Yeah, I know. You'd think I'd be used to someone being able to to feel my feelings by now, but in the heat of the moment I kinda forgot who I was talking to?
[Wait, fuck. That's not a great way to say that! He waves his hands in front of him like he's trying to erase the words out of the air.]
Not literally! I mean that I was dumb and didn't think about it making you go haywire. And...I should've. Doesn't matter what was going on with me - that's not your problem and I made it your problem.
[And if he has his way, it won't be Dipper's problem again.]
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[Despite the accusation, Dipper's voice is quieter and subdued. He isn't going to get into another fight, but he does need to say what's on his mind. However Stan reacts, he'll be better prepared for it this time.]
You spent that whole conversation with other me going on about how important it was for you to read my journal about the dreamscape incident, to try and protect me, but the minute something's going on with you, you just shut me out. It isn't fair, you know.
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...I do though.
[He can't meet Dipper's eyes when he says it though, so he knows it's a shitty defense and he doesn't actually want to start fighting again, so he doesn't push it. For once though, he isn't trying to lie, not really. Part of him really, sincerely believes what he's saying, underneath all of the nerves and discomfort and shame.
The pivot to his conversation with the other Dipper is easier, a life preserver tossed at him letting him stay afloat here.]
Yeah, well. It's not that I don't worry about that, but that was another me too, y'know. Mr. "I'm Above Caring About Money" might've gone on and on about it a little more than I would've. The guy laid it on kinda thick if you ask me.
[It's a classic deflection, something that neither of them can actually prove that shoves him an extra couple inches away from the point Dipper's trying to make. Some morally better version of him did all of that, so how is he supposed to live up to it anyway?
Then again...the alternative to laying it on thick is trying harder not to worry him, isn't it? Even this isn't entirely a lie.]
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[But he knows that Stan isn't going to budge right now, and Dipper doesn't want to fight him about it. He knew this walking in the door that he wasn't going to try and do this as soon as he got back, just try and express why this sucks the best he could so he could figure out a plan of attack some time later.]
[Dipper exhales.]
He was persistent, and Other Me was a blabber-mouth that spilled stuff I didn't plan to spill to multiple people, so here we are.
[But they've gotten off topic in a way he knows Stan is doing on purpose.]
I've only got one more thing to say on this whole thing, and then I'm going to drop it and go upstairs.
[This time the finger juts at him accusatory.]
I was right about the entity possessing the forest going around messing with people's dreams. I saw plenty of pages in the netbook about it. I also caught it in the act and tried to swing at it in the dreamscape. No matter what you can't fight me about that.
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Then things immediately swing in the opposite direction, catching him off guard in the bad way this time.]
You what?!
[To his credit, he tries extremely hard to pull on the emotional breaks. Dipper's fine. He's okay, and Stan doesn't want to set him off by freaking out about how he should have followed him into the snow to keep him from doing something stupid like that (even though he absolutely SHOULD have followed him into the snow to keep him from doing something stupid like that). It doesn't feel great that Dipper could have gotten himself seriously hurt or killed again because Stan couldn't get his shit together and run after him!
He doesn't even realize he's letting out a long breath until the air is gone. But he's good now. He's good! He's at least 50% good! They are NOT having a repeat!]
N-Nevermind. Forget that part. But, uh.
[He thinks for a minute, debating with himself how to put this. It's something he ought to say something about though.]
...I still don't wanna get into it, but. The dream I had? I...don't remember anyone else being in it. Anyone who wasn't supposed to be there, I mean.
[It isn't said to challenge Dipper this time, but because it carries some unsettling implications. If someone did mess with his dreams they did it without his knowledge, and it's extremely difficult to pull one over on him in the dreamscape. He can lucid dream, he can arm his whole mindscape with critters to act as his eyes and move parts of it around. Even Bill Cipher couldn't fool him.]
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[He's happy to move past it. Stan pulling back on his emotions is also something he can actually feel and for the moment he braces for something worse, he is surprised to find nothing hits him like a truck this time.]
[Instead Stan is actually SORT OF opening up about it which means Dipper can't waste this opportunity.]
Huh. I- look, I didn't get one, so I can't really compare it to something I've experienced first hand, but I know from others that the entity can do some reprehensible stuff to people in dreams. Like - [It takes him a minute to remember the details because this happened months ago.] It threatened Pure Vanilla once by choking someone in his household until he did what it wanted. If it can actually influence people between 'scapes like that, then there's no telling what kind of power it has to manipulate dreams.
What I mean is, that guy clowned the heck out of me on my preferred terrain, so maybe it was just that good at hiding its presence in your dream, too.
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People can say what they want about him being a gruff asshole, but sometimes it's what he needs to keep himself and the people around him safe.]
...Maybe.
[A look crosses his face. He's still mulling it over, thoughts still simmering under the surface. They aren't done cooking yet though, so he switches gears.]
Alright, alright, we're done. Go scram upstairs. What are you waiting for, a kiss on the cheek?
[It's all playful and light though, and Stan makes a "shoo!" gesture with his hand. The relief that Dipper's home at all still hasn't fully faded away.]