sticksandbones | EVENT 023

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EVENT 023

CHAOS IN PARADISE

The more problems get solved, the more others start to pop up. Sure, some heroes saved the children in the manor — who are no longer children — but those siblings are now comatose, and the manor is on permanent lockdown, black briars blocking every possible entrance and Corrupting anyone who tries to get in. Sure, some sneaky hopefuls hid a magic circle to help maintain the fog barrier (and keep the Forest out) in a secret location, but now the magic in the Grove feels off. Your spells come out more powerful as intended while the world is out of balance, and it seems like they will for some time.

Maybe in your haste to fix all the Grove’s issues, you forgot about a certain skeleton spirit who shows up every April in some attempt to help you cheer up. Perhaps you remembered, and were hoping he’d arrive. Either way, Mr. Bone-Jangles clatters into the Grove in broad daylight, waves hello to those of you lingering in the centre of the Grove, and snaps his phalanges.

Immediately, a magenta-coloured, swirling portal opens up underneath your feet, and your friend’s feet, and that friend’s feet, until most of the centre of the Grove is consumed by it. Those of you on the outside, free of the portal’s reach, may witness it: everyone caught in it gets pulled into the rift, Heimr and Ydalir and Mr. Bone-Jangles included. In the next blink, the portal is closed and they’re gone, leaving behind flowers where each of them fell.

For those of you who got caught in the portal, you’ll find yourself at the entrance of a city, where a sign reads: WELCOME TO NEO EDEN.

4 C0LD W3LC0M3

Trying to turn around and walk outside the city causes your nose to crinkle as you slam facefirst into an invisible barrier. You can see other buildings outside this barrier, natural as a landscape could come, and yet you can’t progress. The skies are a somewhat odd purplish-blue, though you can’t tell if that’s because your eyes are straining against the bright neon of the city lights or not. Underneath the arcing city sign, a police car labelled “NEO EDEN P.D.” passes by, the robotic simulacra of human law enforcement inside giving everyone a friendly wave before it keeps driving, seemingly having come from beyond the barrier and thus warping into the space, as far as your eyes can tell anyway.

Mr. Bone-Jangles helpfully guides you further into the city, past the holograms of normal humans in neon-glowing techwear going about their business. They don’t respond to anything you do or say, seemingly on a set path, living their daily lives. The city is packed enough to be claustrophobic, cars and holograms rushing past, a stark change from the small-town vibes of the Grove. Those of you who fish in your pockets as you wander will find that your magic notebooks have been replaced with cellphones, and all prior notebook correspondences are there, as well as any new ones. The cellphone does nothing other than connect to group chat, but this one is clearly cooler — you can send emojis, stickers, and GIFs without drawing them.

…those on the other side, however, are getting each GIF drawn out frame-by-frame in the notebooks. Please don’t spam GIFs at your friends.

Additionally in your pockets is a small plastic card — a debit card, for those of you who are familiar with them — containing 1,000 Credits, the currency here. You didn’t think your shells would be useful, did you? Simply tapping the card at any facility that takes payment will subtract the necessary amount… but 1,000 Credits isn’t much. It’s enough to buy a thousand candy bars, but unless you’re frugal, it won’t last you the month. Luckily, it looks like every store on the nearby shopping strip is hiring! From restaurants to clothing stores, to empty buildings that you can make your own business out of… surely this capitalistic nightmare will be tenable!

The lack of animals is noticeable as you head further into the city, toward what signage says is called “Mania Square”. The birds, instead of being your typical Grove plantanimals, are robotic. There’s a severe lack of any pests despite the garbage in the alleyway dumpsters — no bugs, no rodents, no raccoons. Mania Square itself contains a fountain big enough to swim in, the centre focal point of the public plaza, but Bone-Jangles hooks a sharp left and leads you to the apartments instead. Up three stories are small studio rooms for each of you, your names written on the door placards in your own handwriting, and the insides are customized to your exact preference already. A notice pinned above your kitchenette tells you rent is due by April 30th… you hope you aren’t here for that long.

4R3N’T Y0U H4V1NG FUN?

Despite the standard day and night cycle, some of you may notice this place still doesn’t feel quite right, a bit outside of time. That shouldn’t stop you from having fun! And should you need to go back to the Grove — or if you’re someone looking to get into Neo Eden in the first place — you need only to gaze into a mirror placed in each of your bedrooms or apartments and wish to go home… which may lead you to fall catastrophically through it to the other side. Try not to hit your chin on the ground.

Life goes on regardless. In this city, there’s a lot to do. You could go shopping at the strip mall near Mania Square, where Heimr and Ydalir have set up a temporary shop to continue to provide for everyone’s needs. They’ll still take shells, but there’s nothing much they can do if you run out of Credits — both will gently suggest you find work in Neo Eden. You guys own businesses back at the Grove, it can’t be that bad, can it?

The good news is, Mr. Bone-Jangles and his entourage of skeletons who you swear weren’t originally here 12 hours ago are happy to help you get a job, where the interview process involves simply “showing up and asking your holographic boss if you can be employed”. Starting your own business is more difficult — you’ll need a loan from the bank! — but not impossible. Any hologram humans that come in to buy things will ignore you, get what they want, and leave. The only time you can interact with your fellow neon-coloured humans is when they’re making a purchase, at which point their items will digitize and they’ll leave. All very odd, but at least the customers aren’t rude to you… or your skeletal coworkers who have joined you for back-breaking labour.

After work, perhaps you want to head to the amusement park — Thrill Point is an utterly massive one to the far northeast of the city past the river that cuts through the digital roadways. With drop towers, roller coasters, rides for little babies who hate heights and fun, and tons of food stalls to stop at, you could feasibly spend all night here and almost forget that you have to be at your next shift in the morning! If you seek a different thrill, Arcadia is a nightclub southwest of Mania Square, where the music plays all night, the liquor flows freely, and anyone under 21 who enters gets marked with an X on the back of their hand by a harmless laser beam. Just outside Arcadia is a small photo booth named “The Swap”, and if you enter with a partner, both of you hitting the “TAKE PHOTO” button will bodyswap you for 12 hours. It will also print out a funny photo of you as a keepsake. Enjoy being someone else for a while!

Head to the Rent-a-Ride, where you can rent any vehicle on wheels — electric scooters, cars, motorcycles, hoverbikes — as long as you can pay the expensive fee. Speeding will get you a ticket from your local robopolice; breaking standard civilian laws will get you arrested and thrown into the unmanned city jail. And try not to tailgate or crash your ride — not only will you be on the hook for vehicle damages, but you’ll be shafted with a ludicrous hospital fee. Seriously, people live like this?

But, if a calm walk through nature is more your style, City Park and its digital trees to the north may suit your needs. The fish in the river here can be fished up by hopeful anglers, though all are wiggly, inedible robots. Hm.

WELCOME BACK

By April 30th when your rent is technically due, a text message goes out to everyone’s phones… and consequently the notebooks, too, from two different senders:

REMINDER: YOUR RENT IS DUE TODAY! PLEASE PAY 3,000 CREDITS OR FACE EVICTION.

DONT WORY. I WIL RESKYEW U

The messages from the second sender will get slightly more ominous as the day goes on.

GRAB SUMTHING U WANT 2 TAKE WITH U
I WIL REETORN U HOM

HAS ANY1 SEEN MY WIFE
FOWND MY WIFE :)

R U REDY 2 GO?

By evening, hopefully you’ve grabbed something to take back home — something you can feasibly carry without a struggle — because a portal is yet again opening under your feet. In a split second, you’re back in Aldric’s Grove, holding whatever you came with, your cellphones reverted back to notebooks. Mr. Bone-Jangles is nowhere to be seen, but he reappears a few hours later to hand out personal apology notes to everyone reading: “SORY, TRIYD 2 SAV U :(“ before he and his merry band mope back into the woods. He hopes you had fun while you were away.

Next time anyone heads out into the woods, all seems normal… minus the amount of fungi that have started to sprout in absolute droves across the forest floor, unwilling to be torn up from their roots or killed in a way that matters.

Spark Notes

summary

Chaos in Paradise: Mr. Bone-Jangles is back and here to kidnap you to a new location. This is a cyberpunk-esque city known as Neo Eden. No, he does not ask if he can do this first.
4 C0LD W3LC0M3: Further in Neo Eden are your apartments at Mania Square, where rent is due by the 30th. Your notebooks have been turned into cellphones, and you have a debit card with 1,000 credits on it for your shopping expenses. Seems like you'll be here a while.
4R3N’T Y0U H4V1NG FUN?: If you need to move to and from the Grove, there's a portal accessible in everyone's bedrooms via a mirror. Here, you have the freedom to do whatever you want: Rent a car, ride a roller coaster, get a job, start a business - the city is your oyster!
WELCOME BACK: And then all of a sudden, the neon paradise is ripped away from you as you're transported home. You can take back an item with you to remember your time here, if you want. The forest itself has started to grow mushrooms in droves, ones that can't be pulled up or killed. Hm!

out of character

It's already April! What the heck! We hope everyone enjoys this event; please feel free to make up businesses/buildings/things to do, you aren't constrained to what's been written in the post.

updates

- A small shrine close to the inn has appeared in the Grove. Affogato's spirit is tied there, to a black raven figure carved from smooth stone.
- The spell strengthening the Grove's fog wall is buffed.
- Sinann has been powered up, and therefore can enter its human form and go on land. It will largely still be by the river.
- Suri's creations are now and forever weak to poison.
- Pearl has made a terrible rainstorm back in the Grove.
- In Neo Eden, Add has enhanced the jail and made Jail2, which has far more security measures and functions as an escape room of sorts. Please see Add's toplevel below for further details.
- Jail2 has partly collapsed due to White Lily Cookie.

submissions

❖ Questions
❖ April Plotting
❖ Past Life Plotting (Closed to Game Members)
❖ Investigations

code

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That's me!

[He gives a goofy little salute, before trotting after Wolfwood. Beyond a few paint scratches, the bike doesn't look to be in too rough of shape.]

Aw, baby, you're gonna teach me how to ride, huh? [He waggles his eyebrows. Kill him.]

Uh huh, and I can change my mind too-

[Wolfwood grouses as he brushes his hand over the chipped paint on the bike. A shame, but it’s fine. It’s a rental, so that’s going to be Vash’s problem to deal with later. For now, he sets it back upright and gestures at the front.]

Okay, get back on. I’m gonna get on behind you and show you the ropes.

[Listen, Vash doesn't have to deal with the problem if he keeps the motorcycle until they inevitably leave. Who's gonna stop him?

Anyway, he goes to sit back on the bike, but... stops with his leg half-hiked over it. He whips his head around to stare at Wolfwood.]

You think that is gonna keep me from wrecking? Babe... c'mon.

Consider it positive reinforcement, kay babe? Now focus.

[He thumps Vash’s shoulder. C’mon chop chop get on the bike.]

Lemme know when you feel comfortable on the bike. You gotta move with ‘er, not against ‘er.

[This isn't going to end well. Vash is either going to explode, explode southward, or just fall over dead. And there's a strong possibility of all three happening as well.]

R-right.

[He clambers on the bike and wiggles around some. And wiggles some more. And just a liiiittle more for good measure.]

I think I'm good?

[He has half of a mind to try and drive off before Wolfwood can get on, just to save them the embarrassment but... he'll be good.]

[Listen Vash, just think of it this way! If you can survive Wolfwood straddling you to teach you to drive without it becoming a problem, you’ll be all the stronger for it. And if you can’t, weeeell…maybe Wolfwood will decide to make it worth your while if you can keep the bike balanced?

You never know :)

Anyway, Vash is on the bike now, meaning Wolfwood will climb on after him, waiting for Vash to have a good grip on the handlebars before placing both hands overtop the back of Vash’s.]

A’ight, so first thing. Don’t just gun it. That’s why you got thrown off the bike, you’re only workin’ with two wheels, not four. You wanna give ‘er enough juice to go, but not so much that the bike is gonna leave without you. Got it?

What, don't wanna hold my hips instead?

[Yes, he absolutely wiggles them back against Wolfwood as soon as he's settled. What did you expect? For him not to make this weird? It's the only way he can actually be comfortable with how close Wolfwood is. Already, his mind is running wild with it. And yes, it does make him accidentally rev the engine.]

Oop, sorry.

[He takes a deep breath and, once he's relatively certain of the balance, rotates his wrist to give it just a little bit of gas.]

Okay, how's that?

We’ll graduate to hip-holding when I’m sure you can keep the bike straight.

[Without running into another fountain, that is.

He does give a hum of approval at that, flexing his own hands a little. He’s letting Vash do all of the work though, just keeping himself ready and within reach just in case he needs to suddenly do any corrections.]

Good. If you’re havin’ trouble with balance at first you can walk the bike. Kinda just let the engine run, give it a little gas, and keep your feet on the ground and walk with it. Make sense? Once you feel like you can keep it up- [Do you HAVE to say it like that] -just give it some more gas and keep your feet up off the ground.

Oh, hon - [Yes, he's picking up a little bit of a drawl from Livio.] You know I can't do anything straight!]

[But, fine. He's going to walk the bike. It feels awkward, but the bike moves along smoothly enough. At least until Wolfwood says "keep it up." Vash wobbles a little at that, trying not to choke on his mirth.]

You know, if you keep teasing me like that, we're not going to get anywhere. That! Or we'll end up back in the fountain!

[The funny thing here is that Wolfwood actually wasn’t trying to tease Vash actively, so when he realizes what he’d said to make him say that?

…well. You can’t expect him to behave, now can you?

Wolfwood smirks, and it’s something Vash will actually be able to feel as he leans in to press his lips in a lingering kiss to the back of his neck.]

Nah, you can do it. If you can keep your eyes on the road with me back here, then you can drive a bike.

[Wolfwood.

Sweet Wolfwood. What did you think would happen.

Vash almost jumps out of his skin, feet leaving the ground in the same instant that his hands pull back and downward, gunning the throttle. The bike lurches forward, then leans viciously to the side.

Someone's gonna have to put a foot down, or they're both hitting the ground.]

[Haha, oops-]

Shit-!

[As the bike suddenly rushes forward and starts to list, Wolfwood makes a mad grab for the handlebars, but in his haste to get the bike stopped, he squeezes the breaks.

The bike stutters, quite literally jumps an inch off the ground like they’re in a cartoon, then the front wheel rams the fountain (again, why are they so close to it) hard enough to kick the back of the bike upwards, throwing them both headfirst over the handlebars like a bucking horse.

At least they’re met with water, and not the cold, bare cement?]

Oof

[That's about all Vash can manage as he comes to the surface. That, and spitting all the water in his mouth out. If it hits Wolfwood, it's only because he's still blinded by the chlorine or something. Or maybe it's revenge considering...]

Niiiiick [Vash's voice is an absolute whine.] Look what you did!

[He turns his head to look at the bike and... Yeah, that thing has seen better days.]

[Wolfwood resurfaces a moment later, and honestly it’s a good thing this fountain is only a few inches deep, because he sure as hell doesn’t know how to swim. You’d think he’d learn after Razlo almost drowned him that one time, but oh well. Maybe this summer!

For now, he holds up a forearm to block the water Vash spits at him, hissing in the back of his throat. And yeah, that poor bike…one wonders if it will go again after that kind of treatment.]

Me?! [Yes??? Yes you.] I told ya not to gun it!

Sure! And then you got all sexy on me after I warned you!

[Vash is "annoyed" enough that the lifted arm doesn't stop him. He uses his own to slap at the water, actually trying to splash Wolfwood at this point. It's not like it'll make a difference, they're both sopping wet.]

Do you know how much that's gonna cost me? I'll have to turn myself in and collect my own bounty just to pay it off!

[Vash you don't even have a bounty here.]

[Wow!! Well if Vash is gonna splash him, Wolfwood is going to do the same in return. Again, completely useless since you’re both ALREADY SOAKED.]

Tch, it ain’t that bad. ‘Least they prolly ain’t gonna arrest you over wreckin’ one of the rentals.

[Unlike Wolfwood, who sped and then evaded police. You know, like somebody ASKING to be arrested.]

And look, that ain’t my fault. I can kiss my boyfriend if I damn well please!

Probably! But you don't know!

[Vash huffs and puffs a few times, before shoving his hands in his (submerged) pockets. When that doesn't feel like enough, he sticks his tongue out for good measure.]

That wasn't a kiss! That was... you know.

[He kicks at the bottom of the fountain. He's not gonna say the "h" word out loud.]

[Wolfwood watches as Vash struggles to get the word out, and then eventually doesn’t say it at all…it does help soothe some of the sting of the bike getting wrecked (again).

He raises a brow, leaning a little closer to Vash in the water.]

Do I? Ain’t too sure I do know…

You were being seductive.

[He sinks back into the water, glowering up at Wolfwood. He's absolutely pouting.]

I'm gonna lock you out of my room tonight. Then what are you going to do?

Aw c’mon now…you don’t wanna do that.

[Wolfwood tilts his head even more, looking back at Vash with an expression that toes the line between sincere and shit-eating.]

You’d miss me too much. Right? And here I was, so excited to cuddle up with you later…

Oh, you wanna cuddle that bad, huh?

[Well. Vash is going to attempt to tackle him. Straight back into the water.]

C'mere, baby! Let's snuggle!

[He flaps his wings, trying to use them to splash Wolfwood all the more.]

Wh- Oi!

[Wolfwood gets splashed directly in the face the moment Vash starts using his wings, and then seconds later he’s been tackled backwards into the water wholesale. He was already wet, but now he’s like. WET wet.

In retaliation, Wolfwood tries to put Vash in a headlock. A loving one.]

[And of course, Vash immediately starts flailing. Never mind the fact that he's cackling the whole time too. He's having a good time, is the point.]

Hey! C'mon! Lemme go!!!

Nooo way. What’s in it for me, haah?

[NOOGIE NOOGIE NOOGIE]

You’re just gonna splash me again!

[Speaking of flashing, guess what Vash is immediately doing as he tries to get away.]

You would deserve it if I did! For being such a big, horny jerk!!

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lupusxylem - 2025-05-03 20:24 (UTC) - Expand

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