sticksandbones | EVENT 023

Entry tags:

EVENT 023

CHAOS IN PARADISE

The more problems get solved, the more others start to pop up. Sure, some heroes saved the children in the manor — who are no longer children — but those siblings are now comatose, and the manor is on permanent lockdown, black briars blocking every possible entrance and Corrupting anyone who tries to get in. Sure, some sneaky hopefuls hid a magic circle to help maintain the fog barrier (and keep the Forest out) in a secret location, but now the magic in the Grove feels off. Your spells come out more powerful as intended while the world is out of balance, and it seems like they will for some time.

Maybe in your haste to fix all the Grove’s issues, you forgot about a certain skeleton spirit who shows up every April in some attempt to help you cheer up. Perhaps you remembered, and were hoping he’d arrive. Either way, Mr. Bone-Jangles clatters into the Grove in broad daylight, waves hello to those of you lingering in the centre of the Grove, and snaps his phalanges.

Immediately, a magenta-coloured, swirling portal opens up underneath your feet, and your friend’s feet, and that friend’s feet, until most of the centre of the Grove is consumed by it. Those of you on the outside, free of the portal’s reach, may witness it: everyone caught in it gets pulled into the rift, Heimr and Ydalir and Mr. Bone-Jangles included. In the next blink, the portal is closed and they’re gone, leaving behind flowers where each of them fell.

For those of you who got caught in the portal, you’ll find yourself at the entrance of a city, where a sign reads: WELCOME TO NEO EDEN.

4 C0LD W3LC0M3

Trying to turn around and walk outside the city causes your nose to crinkle as you slam facefirst into an invisible barrier. You can see other buildings outside this barrier, natural as a landscape could come, and yet you can’t progress. The skies are a somewhat odd purplish-blue, though you can’t tell if that’s because your eyes are straining against the bright neon of the city lights or not. Underneath the arcing city sign, a police car labelled “NEO EDEN P.D.” passes by, the robotic simulacra of human law enforcement inside giving everyone a friendly wave before it keeps driving, seemingly having come from beyond the barrier and thus warping into the space, as far as your eyes can tell anyway.

Mr. Bone-Jangles helpfully guides you further into the city, past the holograms of normal humans in neon-glowing techwear going about their business. They don’t respond to anything you do or say, seemingly on a set path, living their daily lives. The city is packed enough to be claustrophobic, cars and holograms rushing past, a stark change from the small-town vibes of the Grove. Those of you who fish in your pockets as you wander will find that your magic notebooks have been replaced with cellphones, and all prior notebook correspondences are there, as well as any new ones. The cellphone does nothing other than connect to group chat, but this one is clearly cooler — you can send emojis, stickers, and GIFs without drawing them.

…those on the other side, however, are getting each GIF drawn out frame-by-frame in the notebooks. Please don’t spam GIFs at your friends.

Additionally in your pockets is a small plastic card — a debit card, for those of you who are familiar with them — containing 1,000 Credits, the currency here. You didn’t think your shells would be useful, did you? Simply tapping the card at any facility that takes payment will subtract the necessary amount… but 1,000 Credits isn’t much. It’s enough to buy a thousand candy bars, but unless you’re frugal, it won’t last you the month. Luckily, it looks like every store on the nearby shopping strip is hiring! From restaurants to clothing stores, to empty buildings that you can make your own business out of… surely this capitalistic nightmare will be tenable!

The lack of animals is noticeable as you head further into the city, toward what signage says is called “Mania Square”. The birds, instead of being your typical Grove plantanimals, are robotic. There’s a severe lack of any pests despite the garbage in the alleyway dumpsters — no bugs, no rodents, no raccoons. Mania Square itself contains a fountain big enough to swim in, the centre focal point of the public plaza, but Bone-Jangles hooks a sharp left and leads you to the apartments instead. Up three stories are small studio rooms for each of you, your names written on the door placards in your own handwriting, and the insides are customized to your exact preference already. A notice pinned above your kitchenette tells you rent is due by April 30th… you hope you aren’t here for that long.

4R3N’T Y0U H4V1NG FUN?

Despite the standard day and night cycle, some of you may notice this place still doesn’t feel quite right, a bit outside of time. That shouldn’t stop you from having fun! And should you need to go back to the Grove — or if you’re someone looking to get into Neo Eden in the first place — you need only to gaze into a mirror placed in each of your bedrooms or apartments and wish to go home… which may lead you to fall catastrophically through it to the other side. Try not to hit your chin on the ground.

Life goes on regardless. In this city, there’s a lot to do. You could go shopping at the strip mall near Mania Square, where Heimr and Ydalir have set up a temporary shop to continue to provide for everyone’s needs. They’ll still take shells, but there’s nothing much they can do if you run out of Credits — both will gently suggest you find work in Neo Eden. You guys own businesses back at the Grove, it can’t be that bad, can it?

The good news is, Mr. Bone-Jangles and his entourage of skeletons who you swear weren’t originally here 12 hours ago are happy to help you get a job, where the interview process involves simply “showing up and asking your holographic boss if you can be employed”. Starting your own business is more difficult — you’ll need a loan from the bank! — but not impossible. Any hologram humans that come in to buy things will ignore you, get what they want, and leave. The only time you can interact with your fellow neon-coloured humans is when they’re making a purchase, at which point their items will digitize and they’ll leave. All very odd, but at least the customers aren’t rude to you… or your skeletal coworkers who have joined you for back-breaking labour.

After work, perhaps you want to head to the amusement park — Thrill Point is an utterly massive one to the far northeast of the city past the river that cuts through the digital roadways. With drop towers, roller coasters, rides for little babies who hate heights and fun, and tons of food stalls to stop at, you could feasibly spend all night here and almost forget that you have to be at your next shift in the morning! If you seek a different thrill, Arcadia is a nightclub southwest of Mania Square, where the music plays all night, the liquor flows freely, and anyone under 21 who enters gets marked with an X on the back of their hand by a harmless laser beam. Just outside Arcadia is a small photo booth named “The Swap”, and if you enter with a partner, both of you hitting the “TAKE PHOTO” button will bodyswap you for 12 hours. It will also print out a funny photo of you as a keepsake. Enjoy being someone else for a while!

Head to the Rent-a-Ride, where you can rent any vehicle on wheels — electric scooters, cars, motorcycles, hoverbikes — as long as you can pay the expensive fee. Speeding will get you a ticket from your local robopolice; breaking standard civilian laws will get you arrested and thrown into the unmanned city jail. And try not to tailgate or crash your ride — not only will you be on the hook for vehicle damages, but you’ll be shafted with a ludicrous hospital fee. Seriously, people live like this?

But, if a calm walk through nature is more your style, City Park and its digital trees to the north may suit your needs. The fish in the river here can be fished up by hopeful anglers, though all are wiggly, inedible robots. Hm.

WELCOME BACK

By April 30th when your rent is technically due, a text message goes out to everyone’s phones… and consequently the notebooks, too, from two different senders:

REMINDER: YOUR RENT IS DUE TODAY! PLEASE PAY 3,000 CREDITS OR FACE EVICTION.

DONT WORY. I WIL RESKYEW U

The messages from the second sender will get slightly more ominous as the day goes on.

GRAB SUMTHING U WANT 2 TAKE WITH U
I WIL REETORN U HOM

HAS ANY1 SEEN MY WIFE
FOWND MY WIFE :)

R U REDY 2 GO?

By evening, hopefully you’ve grabbed something to take back home — something you can feasibly carry without a struggle — because a portal is yet again opening under your feet. In a split second, you’re back in Aldric’s Grove, holding whatever you came with, your cellphones reverted back to notebooks. Mr. Bone-Jangles is nowhere to be seen, but he reappears a few hours later to hand out personal apology notes to everyone reading: “SORY, TRIYD 2 SAV U :(“ before he and his merry band mope back into the woods. He hopes you had fun while you were away.

Next time anyone heads out into the woods, all seems normal… minus the amount of fungi that have started to sprout in absolute droves across the forest floor, unwilling to be torn up from their roots or killed in a way that matters.

Spark Notes

summary

Chaos in Paradise: Mr. Bone-Jangles is back and here to kidnap you to a new location. This is a cyberpunk-esque city known as Neo Eden. No, he does not ask if he can do this first.
4 C0LD W3LC0M3: Further in Neo Eden are your apartments at Mania Square, where rent is due by the 30th. Your notebooks have been turned into cellphones, and you have a debit card with 1,000 credits on it for your shopping expenses. Seems like you'll be here a while.
4R3N’T Y0U H4V1NG FUN?: If you need to move to and from the Grove, there's a portal accessible in everyone's bedrooms via a mirror. Here, you have the freedom to do whatever you want: Rent a car, ride a roller coaster, get a job, start a business - the city is your oyster!
WELCOME BACK: And then all of a sudden, the neon paradise is ripped away from you as you're transported home. You can take back an item with you to remember your time here, if you want. The forest itself has started to grow mushrooms in droves, ones that can't be pulled up or killed. Hm!

out of character

It's already April! What the heck! We hope everyone enjoys this event; please feel free to make up businesses/buildings/things to do, you aren't constrained to what's been written in the post.

updates

- A small shrine close to the inn has appeared in the Grove. Affogato's spirit is tied there, to a black raven figure carved from smooth stone.
- The spell strengthening the Grove's fog wall is buffed.
- Sinann has been powered up, and therefore can enter its human form and go on land. It will largely still be by the river.
- Suri's creations are now and forever weak to poison.
- Pearl has made a terrible rainstorm back in the Grove.
- In Neo Eden, Add has enhanced the jail and made Jail2, which has far more security measures and functions as an escape room of sorts. Please see Add's toplevel below for further details.
- Jail2 has partly collapsed due to White Lily Cookie.

submissions

❖ Questions
❖ April Plotting
❖ Past Life Plotting (Closed to Game Members)
❖ Investigations

code

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ :)

He sure does flip it over! He’s never seen a loose tile he won’t mess with, aaaand-]

…you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

[He’s taking this tile with him, thanks. It’s hard to stay on his knees for long with his prosthetic, so he’ll get slowly back to his feet as he looks the thing over, trying REALLY HARD not to make it seem quite so obvious he has no idea what he’s looking at.]

And how exactly do you expect me to do this if I’m in an empty cell with nothin’ to write with?

Just do the work in your head, even a child can do mental math. [Add has a brainchip that tracks this kind of shit for him so he may have overestimated how good a regular person's memory should be.]

But if your pitiful brain needs something to write with in order to function... kekeke, I suppose I could throw you a bone.

[The feed doesn't show enough of his setup to tell what he's doing, but he flicks a few switches and the wall on the right shudders, followed by a soft clunk. A moment passes before one of the panels on the wall sinks inwards, sliding open to reveal...

Nothing. It's just a narrow hole in the wall.]

Put your arm in there, and I'll give you something to write with.

[The only reason Wolfwood doesn’t fire back at that is because he doesn’t want to have to admit that he doesn’t know how to do a sudoku puzzle. At least this way he can kindof stall for a bit until he can bullshit something. Maybe he’ll figure it out on the fly, he’s had to come up with worse.

So he’ll wait until Add does…something, revealing a hole in the wall that Wolfwood briefly scrutinizes before actually looking over at where Add is watching him from.]

I ain’t gonna stick my hand into a hole I can’t see into. Do you think I’m that stupid?

Oh? Then I guess you don't need my help after all. Good luck, priest, kukukukukukuku...

[chuckling ominously, he leans back to put his feet on the desk. enjoy a closeup of his foot covering half the camera for awhile.

the hole............. is still there. bask in its temptation, loser.]

[He hates this. This is so frustrating. He wishes so badly he could reach through that camera lens and wring this asshole’s fucking neck.

…but what choice does he have? It’s either actually take the offer in good faith (lmao) or just sit here and do nothing.

So, with a huff and an exaggerated roll of his eyes, Wolfwood will go over to the hole and reach in to see if he can find literally anything useful in there.]

[There doesn't appear to be anything in the hole, though if he feels around for a bit he'll find a narrow opening at the top. It's only big enough to get his stuck if he tries really hard.

Add is quiet while he searches, then...]

Wow, you really are gullible, aren't you? If I wanted to, I could've chopped your whole arm off just now. You should know better than to trust someone keeping you locked up, kekekeke...

[............ anyway, despite being an ass about it a single ballpoint pen falls out of the dispensary at the back. Your prize for reckless behaviour.]

[Wolfwood resists the urge to curse Add out just long enough to snatch the pen from the hole. Bitch.]

What do you expect me to do, just stand here with my thumb up my ass while you laugh at me?

[Of course, Add may be about to laugh at him harder as Wolfwood clicks the pen and sits down, because he has no FUCKING clue how to do sudoku. Never seen one in his life, so. Yay!]

I don’t trust you, I just want to get the fuck out of here.

I expect you to use your brain and solve your own problems, but I suppose that would be asking for too much.

Honestly, you should be thanking me. If this poor performance is any example, you would've been struggling even without all my lovely additions. At least this way I get to decide when you're allowed to leave. What, exactly, was your plan coming in here? Were you hoping they'd just forget to lock the door?

[While Add goes on somewhere beyond the bars of Wolfwood’s prison, he lets his voice drone into the background as he focuses instead on the puzzle in front of him. Being given a ballpoint kindof sucks because it’s permanent, but whatever. Now is there ANY possible way he can figure this shit out? Signs are pointing to “lmao no”, but he’s looking it over anyway…giving it a college try, and all that.

As he frustrates himself with his inability to understand it, he manages to catch one of Add’s questions, being “what was your plan coming here”? Wolfwood huffs, scribbling something on the edge of the puzzle.]

I don’t think that’s any of your business. [He finally says, because he’s decided- FIRMLY- that he refuses to broach the topic of Ain with this guy, at least not here and now. He isn’t going to listen, and he fears what he might say would just piss him off more either way.] Remember when I said you reminded me too much of me at your age, and that you should maybe cut it out? I’m still standing by that. You talk so much I think you just like to hear your own damn voice.

Ugh, don't compare me to you. You and I, we couldn't be more different.

[... yeah, that wouldn't be a wrong assumption. Maybe they'll have another chance to talk about Ain, perhaps after some kind of shared romantic movie date with the angel in question. But for now, he seems annoyed enough at the suggestion that everyone doesn't love hearing his beautiful voice.]

I think it's my business if you're going to say you came to "rescue" me. Guess no one more competent was interested, tch...

[he's definitely not sad that Ain was worried but the only person who actually showed up was this asshole, don't read into it.]

Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.

[He’s just going to keep pretending he’s actually doing this sudoku puzzle and not drawing crude pictures in the margins instead as he tries to think of a better way out of here while keeping Add mostly distracted.]

Don’t look like you need rescuin’ to me. You’re thriving torturing whoever shows up here.

[Like maybe he’s just special, but he gets the feeling Add is taking particular glee in doing this to anyone who manages to get themselves arrested. You know, normal and all that.]

Of course not. The only reason I'm still here is because it's an insult to think this place was supposed to contain anyone, let alone me.

Anyway, I'd call it enrichment, not torture. If you'd rather be tortured, I supposed I could make some adjustments for you, kukukukuku...

[he's having the time of his life in here, yeah]

[Wolfwood grimaces, drawing a crude little image of Add’s face with his tongue sticking out.]

I’d rather not be in a fucking cell again.

[He grumbles, though that’s said more to himself than to Add specifically. He doesn’t like thinking about it, the last time. Not the last time here in Neo Eden, but the last time when he was back home. Back when he barely knew anything, only half aware that all of the experimenting, and injecting, and rewiring of his brain that Chapel had the doctor do to him had fucked him up irrevocably, but had also been the only reason he managed to briefly escape at all.

…that. Gives him an idea, actually.

Wolfwood stops writing, going silent suddenly as he looks back up at the prison bars, past where Add is looking in at him from. He knows they’re electrified…but is there anything out there- tantalizing past the bars, perhaps- that might be of interest?]

Skill issue.

[There isn't much on the other side of the bars, just another cell mirroring his own... but. if he leans over a little, he can see something glinting a little ways down the hallway before the next cell over, hanging innocently on a hook on the wall...

it's a big metal keyring with a single big metal key on it, like the kind you would find in a video game dungeon.

Underneath it is two short strings of characters:]
5441
4E4B

[Yeah give him just a second.

He puts the puzzle down and gets up, going over to look at just that. The characters don’t mean a lot at a glance, but there are two things he’s asking himself:

1) Is it possible for him to reach that key and 2) can he see any kind of designation for his cell or the one next to him, indicating that the key might belong to either one?]

[1) It's too far! Oh no! :(

2) There's no indication which cell it's for, but Add would absolutely make cell-neighbours compete for the same escape tool instead of making this more fair or obvious. don't worry about it. he can read it from here so that's probably intentional.]

[Fuck. Okay.

Wolfwood will pick up the puzzle again and write those characters down in the margins. He’s not sure exactly what they’re for, or what they mean, but he’ll try piecing them together in a bit.

Before he starts slamming his head against this puzzle again…is there anything else in this room at all, or it is just empty with flat tile (sans the one he pulled up)? Other than the bed he woke up on, that is.]

[There is... a toilet!! Add can be merciful sometimes. There are also nine square panels, three on each wall, including the one on the eastern wall that Add already opened (it is the one on the left of that particular wall).

Also a small barred window, but upon closer examination it's just a video screen on the other side. Enjoy a pretty sunset view. Just don't do it too closely, because the bars here are also electrified for no reason.

If he flips over the bed he'll get another free clue. Stitched in red is the number 46495348.]

[UUGH GOD MORE FUCKING NUMBERS okay he’ll write those down too, because yeah he’s flipping over everything and scouring every inch of this room to make sure he hasn’t missed something that could potentially be helpful. Of course, despite having all these pieces, he doesn’t know how they’re supposed to fit together, and it sure is doing a great job of making him look stupid.

He really, REALLY wishes there was a way he could just physically bust his way out of here, but there’s nothing he can find to makeshift that into a reality. He has to keep playing along, for now.

5441, 4E4B, 46495348, and a sudoku puzzle he doesn’t know how to solve. Great!! He’ll sink down into a painful sit on the floor again before he starts back into scribbling, ignoring Add watching him in favor of Struggling. He decides trying to take the numbers and write down the corresponding letter of the alphabet under them. So…

EDDA DEDB DFIECDH.

Is this helpful? Fuck if he knows.]

[There is a faint mechanical buzzing as Add tries to adjust the security camera to get a better view.

God, what is he doing in there? That shit isn't even CLOSE.]

Are you seriously this stumped already? I thought I made it pretty easy, but I guess I should've aimed for a kindergarten skill level...

Shut. The fuck. Up.

[He is 🤏 this close to dismantling the bed and trying to craft some kind of tool he can use to break himself out of here, he swears to fucking God.

He keeps working in dead silence for a while. He goes back to the sudoku because he doesn’t know what to do with any of the codes, and…he is kindof getting it. Not fast, mind, and he already has a few mistakes, but he’s kindof??? Figuring some of it out by sheer trial and error.]

This is just getting embarrassing... ugh.

[Wolfwood is back to ignoring him, so he tries to watch in silence for awhile... but this isn't even fun to watch anymore. This is just painful for both of them. He can SEE those wrong answers from here—]

Three eight nine five seven six four two one! There, now you have one line. Surely you can figure out the rest of the pattern by yourself.

[Trust him, Add, knowing you’re watching and scrutinizing his every move isn’t making him feel much better. He’s near-snapping the pen as-is with how tightly he’s gripping it, and as Add prattles off the first sudoku line, Wolfwood very nearly picks up the tile and throws it at the bars in the direction of the camera watching him.

He manages to deep breath his way away from that (therapy is working), but only just. His fingers are white-knuckled as he writes the numbers down.]

This is fucking stupid. [He grumbles, the pen scratching audibly as he works.] If what you want is for me too admit you’re smarter than me, or whatever, and just let me out of this god damn cell, that would save us both a lot of headache. Would that make you feel better?

As if I'd need proof for that. The point of this is to prove you're worthy of being released back into society, obviously. [but also to make himself feel smart for making all these stupid puzzles, yeah]

But since you're too stupid to even manage that on your own... [he lets out a BIG, beleaguered sigh] Fine. It's not like I'm getting much amusement from your pathetic struggles.

I want to hear you beg sincerely from the bottom of your heart, then I'll open the door for you.

[Wolfwood’s since put down (well, more like disrespectfully thrown down) the puzzle so he can instead focus Add with his full attention, looking back at him with dark eyes. Despite the repeated insults and condescending attitude Add has had towards him this entire time…Wolfwood stands there, looking for a moment as if he might seriously be about to do it just to get out of here.

…

But instead, he folds his arms across his chest and offers:]

Before I do all’a that. I want you to give me one- [He holds up a finger.] -chance to try to break outta this cell with my own two hands. No puzzles, no tech shit. But you need to give me somethin’ that could feasibly get through the bars.

[He knows they’re electrocuted, but for some reason that doesn’t seem to be factoring in currently. Granted, he doesn’t know about the barrier beyond the bars, but it may not end up mattering either way if he can’t get through them.]

If I can’t do it, then I’ll say anything you want me to, no matter how shitty. Fair’s fair.

[He tilts his head up.]

So, Add. Do you wanna make that bet? Or are you afraid I might break your toy?

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