07 ⸸⸸ church: the third

[livlaughlove]

Who: livio and you
What: bob the builder'ing beiwe's church
When: early/mid april
Where: north grove
Warnings: hot men (and women?) at work 👀


[earlier in the month, livio sends a message via netbook, because he cannot type legibly on a tiny smartphone with his big fingers. you're welcome.]

Miss Beiwe's church has been moved to the northern part of the Grove, but it's still in pretty rough shape. ["miss" feels like such a pitiful way to address her, but he isn't going to just drop her first name casually!!] If anyone wants to pitch in with repairs, I'm providing materials and refreshments.

-

[the church itself is pretty pitiful, as far as being in one piece goes. the belltower is restored, but everything else... well, suffice to say, it's a good thing there's plenty of wood and stone left over from school repairs to work with.

livio has also prepared a little area with fresh baked bread, smoked cheese, and cured meat, as well as an entire wine barrel's worth of (eyeball) lemonade.

anyone who comes by to lend a hand will get pointed first to the food and drink, then to a selection of tools and safety gear.]

Thanks for comin'. Even if it's just spreadin' mortar or nailin' joints together, anything's helpful.

[livio himself will be doing enough heavy lifting for ten people, and he doesn't seem to so much as break a sweat doing it. stones the size of a preteen? no problem. if anything, he appears very pleased about the work. when he doesn't think anyone's watching, he'll even grin ear to ear, hum, and sway his thick, black dragon tail in a slow wag.]

Comments

[unheiring]

Maybe. Maybe not. [He shrugs.] I implied he was not good enough for me, had not done enough for me. After all, I helped chase down his swords, gave him flame when Zonari ripped it from him. And what had he done for me?

[But Luca shakes his head, even as he says it.]

I never asked, though. I expected it, and held it against him when he had no way of knowing. I think... I wanted to have a reason to resent him. To keep holding the people I loved at bay.

[A bitter laugh leaves him as he wipes at his eyes.]

I suppose it worked out in a way.

[livlaughlove]

[he sure knows what it's like to do that. not that livio ever had an epiphany like that so quickly -- in time to prevent total catastrophe.]

Best y'can do is apologize, which y'did, 'n try to do better goin' forward. Which it seems like yer tryin'. Ain't like ya don't care about the hurt y'caused.

[unheiring]

I care... deeply. I'm sure you do not need me to say that, though.

[Luca knows he wears his heart on his sleeve, and he doesn't even try to pretend otherwise nowadays either.]

I just fear it will not be enough. That it is over and done with. It would be his right, and I will accept that but... [His smile is a watery one.] The in-between, the waiting... It hurts.

[livlaughlove]

[he nods, picking up on the gravity of luca's emotions and struggling with himself not to sympathy cry.]

Guess in the meantime, best thing for it's to find a good distraction, huh? Like helpin' others -- which, again, yer doin' today, right now!

[for a moment, he glances away, unsure...]

Um -- feel free t'tell me off if it's oversteppin', but I been told I give good hugs, if y'need one.

[unheiring]

[That's some solid advice that Luca... doesn't have time to consider. Not when he's looking at those big massive arms and thinking hugging thoughts. He chews on his lip for a moment, before giving a small nod.]

I... wouldn't mind that.

[livlaughlove]

[well, so long as luca's game, livio shifts to face and embrace him. despite the massive size difference, he's painstakingly gentle. one relatively massive hand pats luca's back.]

Yer not alone. [it bears repeating, he thinks. at least, it's something he believes would be comforting to him, were he in the same position.]

[unheiring]

[Yeahhh, Luca absolutely buries himself in that hug. Despite Livio's general mass, there's an inexplicable softness in that embrace that Luca absolutely melts into. He's touch starved under the best of circumstances, and times are far from good.

Unfortunately, Livio may notice a wet spot or two on his shirt. It can't be helped.]

[livlaughlove]

[livio doesn't cause a fuss over it at all. lord knows he's spent more than his fair share of time crying on loved ones, so the least he can do is pay it forward. he'll stay here as long as luca needs and wants it, keeping him wrapped up in a warm embrace.]

[unheiring]

[Thankfully, Luca doesn't have af ull on breakdown. But he's definitely stil lteary eyed as he leans back and palms at his eyes.]

Sorry. It's been... difficult.

[livlaughlove]

[liv wouldn't blame him if he did. in fact... he smiles, tender and a little self-conscious.]

Y'don't gotta apologize. Y'know, when I was little, they called me Crybaby Livio. Nick still does, ahaha, so... I just mean I ain't judgin'.

[unheiring]

[It manages to draw a laugh out of him, at the very least.]

Hard to believe. Big as you are, at first glance, I would've figured you'd never heard of tears. [But that's what you get when you judge books by their covers, he supposes.]

I used to be like that, too. The smallest thing were the biggest messes. My father... appreciated that I cared so much. It annoyed my sibling, but I think they really just wanted me to be happy.

[And, when he really stops to think about it...]

It's nice to be able to weep again. To not... feel terrible about it.

[livlaughlove]

It is, ain't it? I spent a long time not lettin' myself feel things... Sometimes it still feels bad to feel so much, but... 's better'n the alternative, I think.

[he can't help but smile at the mention of luca's family. maybe he hasn't put together that the bar's spectre is his father, but he knows kiera is another of the grove's residents. one of those making the thoma chicks overweight...]

'm glad y'got fond memories o' yer family. Good that they didn't restrict ya that way.

[unheiring]

I know what you mean. Cutting yourself off from it, though... It doesn't do you or anyone you love any good.

[Though sorrow still clings to his features, they warm slightly the longer he thinks of his family.]

I am lucky to have them. I was lucky to have my father for as long as I did. I know... many don't have that same luck.

[livlaughlove]

[so long as luca is alright with remaining in something of an embrace, livio pats gently at his shoulder.]

I'm sorry y'lost him. Is... it alright if I ask what he was like? [livio is certainly one of the unlucky ones, but he doesn't know if he wants to put that pressure on luca in the moment.]

[unheiring]

[Luca shifts only to properly nestle against Livio, warm sigh leaving him. Note to self, Livio gives excellent hugs.]

Oh, he was... fantastic. Funny. He often came off as someone who took nothing seriously, but he was working on changing Renova for the better. He wanted its citizens to have more of a voice. And he cared so deeply for Kiera and I. He wanted us to know the world, rather than living in an ivory tower, but at the same time he didn't want us to suffer the cruelty of this life before we were ready.

[livlaughlove]

[easygoing, kind, nurturing... everything livio never got from a parent. he can almost imagine what it's like, the way luca describes cyrus.]

Lettin' ya live yer life, but still givin' you the best one he could... He sounds like a good man.

[unheiring]

He was the best man. Every day, I aspire to be like him.

[He doesn't add the intrusive thought that coils its way in. That he would never be anything like Cyrus. That thought is shaken away before it can take root.]

[livlaughlove]

[the victim to his own intrusive thoughts more often than not, livio can imagine what might be going through luca's head.]

Well... Y'don't gotta be a carbon copy of 'im. But, hey -- y'give folks free food every day. Know you spared Mr. Zahliya's sister rather'n hurtin' her. Sure, y'technically live in a tower, but... [he laughs, soft and a little sheepish.] I think yer pretty good at lookin' after people.

[unheiring]

Mm, you might be onto something. [He pulls back, looking equally as sheepish as he gazes up at Livio.] I still feel like I could do more. Make up for all the things I did over the last few years.

But maybe I'm overthinking it.

[livlaughlove]

Ah... Yeah, I get it.

[not to make it about himself, but to relate.]

I've done a lotta real bad shit. Enough I don't think I could ever break even. But tryin' to do a little better every day's better'n not tryin' at all, yeah?

[unheiring]

Exactly. Maybe I will never fully redeem myself. But as long as I am still making an effort, maybe Father will look back on me kindly.

[livlaughlove]

[he glances away, thinking for a moment.]

I dunno if it's my place to say, so forgive me if not, but... I'm proud of you. It's hard, bein' better than you used to be.

[unheiring]

[Oh. Oh dear. His eyes briefly shimmer, before he plants his face right back against... whatever part of Livio is closest to him.

The resulting "thank you" is muffled. Oops.]