sticksandbones | [netbook] creature diagnosis

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[netbook] creature diagnosis

This is Gnosis.

Seeing as many of us have gotten afflicted by those mushrooms this month, I was hoping someone with an encyclopaedic knowledge of monsters could help me figure out what in Kjeragandr's name they've chosen to turn me into. I can't quite come up with a word for it myself.

I'm so far calling this "birdlike thing with horns and a reaper-like appearance" which is absolutely useless in terms of a label to me. You can come by the lab if you need a visual, but in short:
- When I transformed, my coat was replaced with flowing black robes that are somewhat ruined, and fade away into something that looks like impermanent snowfall. Also, my hair now drags on the ground (clipping it does nothing, it regrows back to that original length) and has started to fade into white at the ends. The same is true of my feathers.
- I have long, curled horns now. They're giving me a headache.
- My eyes glow. This is easier to see in the dark.
- I've grown claws (I also cannot clip these) and my limbs have faded to black. I've also grown fangs, and they're giving me a slight lisp.

I know one of you must have a similar creature where you come from. I just need a descriptive word or label that isn't an entire sentence long.

Thanks.

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I think you might just be an alien. The types of forms they can take are pretty much limitless.

Like, I’m this…sharp lizard cat thing right now that I’m pretty sure isn’t a real thing, so.

"Alien" might just be descriptive enough, I suppose. I'm surprised I didn't think of it.

Depending on what you look like, you might be what we on Terra would call a fangbeast, clawbeast, or a fowlbeast... it sounds quite hybridized, though.

Aren't fowlbeasts birds though?

I don't have feathers that I know of.

...to be honest, I'm not sure where I pulled the thought you had feathers from.

[In Gnosis' defense it was my fault for forgetting to think but also in Gnosis' not-defense, he was definitely staring at his own feathers so I can justify the existence of this tag—]

Nevermind that. Are you still bipedal?

[There's something...of a pause.]

Still?? No? What does my sexuality have to do with this?

[It genuinely takes him a second.]

Bipedal. "Standing on two feet". Quadrupedal, standing on four.

This has nothing to do with your bisexuality. Not everything is about being into men.

Fuck, not you too...I am NOT into men. I like girls.

I'm standing on four feet right now.

So you'd be quadrupedal and bisexual. [GNOSIS.] I take it you retain your arms since you're writing, right? Or have your arms become legs?

Are you even reading what I'm writing? I said I like girls. JUST girls.

I have arms, yeah. It's like I have two extra legs.

Your denial gives you away more than anything. The fact that you immediately leapt to a discussion of sexuality, and a defensive one at that, tells me you have some deep insecurities.

Anyway, you'd be what we'd call "taurian" in shape. It's not a creature so much as it is a body shape that was commonly made up in mythos — on Terra they were centaurs, with the upper body of a humanoid and the lower body of a burdenbeast.

You're the one who called ME bi out of nowhere!

[HE DIDNT THOUGH HE LITERALLY DIDNT

HE SAID BIPEDAL!!]

So you're saying I'm a centaur? ...a burdenbeasttaur?

Likely not quite a centaur, unless you have hooves. But calling you "a taur" wouldn't entirely be incorrect.

Also, I said bipedal. We went over this.

I have paws, not hooves.

Bipedal, Bisexual, same thing.

[Factually incorrect. He might just be fucking with Gnosis at this point-]

It's hard to say for sure without seeing you in person. 'Bird like' would suggest a harpy or tengu, but neither of those typically have horns, and harpies are often naked.

Do you feel any new aversions or affinities since transforming?

Well, I'm certainly not naked and would largely prefer not to be. Thank Kjeragandr for that.

No new affinities, I've always had powers over ice and snow. I suppose lately I've been a tad bit more interested in dead things — I've previously done taxidermy for insects to study the effects of the Corruption on them after death, but lately I've found it far easier to find dead things, almost like an instinct.

(To be clear, it's ethical taxidermy, I'm not killing anything. But a process that used to take me several hours for one specimen has only taken me a few minutes. I'm not sure if it's an affinity or not, to be honest.)

How long does it take the hair to regrow? What color are the horns? Can you remove the coat, or does it function as part of your body?

About an hour to two hours, depending on if I've remembered to eat today or not.

Black.

The coat is removable, but I feel this strange sense of needing to keep it on. To be fair, I'm usually wearing a jacket, but I don't have a sense of being almost naked when it's off.

Is it faster or slower, the more recently you've eaten? Any other new growth? Hair, fur, or feather wise?

The more recently I've eaten, the faster it seems to be, based on my testing so far (aka my desperate attempts to go back to having reasonable-length hair).

My feathers are longer, but there's no additional growth, and there aren't more of them than usual.

Hm... Whatever you are, it doesn't strike me as anything existent. Not any particular species. A specific figure, maybe... some sort of single mythological entity? The themes of death and decay without being outright "evil" (as stupid as I think that word is) speak to something from my world's legends, but something that I can't quite place is throwing me off. ... You don't feel "evil," right?

I don't FEEL evil, no. I feel a touch more attached to dead things, though. Not in a way that's overly weird (I hope) but more in a... "I have to pick this up and guard it" way.

I've been doing a lot of burials recently for dead animals and insects and the like to stave off the need to take things back to my house and present my husband with a dead rabbit or something.

Ah! That gives more context to what you said about dead things, before. You must be a guardian of the dead. Actually, we have one in our folktales, urban legends, whatever you want to call them.

That... makes sense. A lot of sense, actually.

Do you have a specific name or information about the one in your folktales? I'm curious.

It's popular enough in our culture to be referenced near constantly. You see it mentioned a lot in the margins of kids' textbooks at school. Its most ancient name is Lignum Malus Balbutius. But we usually just say "ligmaballs."

[You had him in the first half ngl]

Oh, no. I'm not old enough to fall for that one.

Haha, I had you going, though. I don't actually know what you are, if that needs to be said.

I did appreciate the attempt at a scientific-sounding name, and yes, you had me in the first half. I'm sure it was meant to be more mythological in sound, but it speaks more of a taxonomic classification than anything.

[god why are you Such a nerd]

I appreciate it anyway. "Death guardian" is somewhat easier to say than any mix of "some creature with various strange traits and hangups on death". I'll have to look up mythos here; Kjerag doesn't exactly have "death guardians".

Would you like me to get you some painkillers for your head, my love?

If you could. I'm at the desk in our room.

You say that as if I wouldn't be able to guess. There's perhaps one of two spots you'd be, you know.

Extra strength?

You don't know, I could be outside collecting dead things as I've been recently!

...yes extra strength.

I did say one of two for a reason. :)

[ Can Gnosis hear the smug smile? He hopes so. Enciodes' tail is flicking happily behind him as he writes, though he will actually grab painkillers for him. He doesn't have a ton left, but he supposes he could always talk with Ydalir when he needed more.

He even brings Gnosis a glass of water, too. Look! He's such a good husband and definitely not a little shit. He settles them both on the desk for him. ]

Hello, my dear. I'm surprised you're writing well with those claws in the way.

I've managed to figure out how to hold a pen with them. They're currently the least of my issues.

[Thank God he's married to a snow leopard, or the frigid cold around him might be an Issue. Of course, he has to gun the water and painkillers the second he gets them into his hand before the water freezes solid, buuuut.]

I don't know if you read it, but I've finally been... identified, I suppose. "Diagnosed", perhaps.

[ Unci is also delighted by the cold, and thus is chilling (haha) in the corner herself. Enciodes is not unhappy to stick close to him like this. ]

"Diagnosed" makes you sound ill. I don't believe this is necessarily a curse or anything, though it might not be considered a boon, either...

Besides the headache, are you feeling alright?

Better than I'll ever be, I suppose. I haven't yet figured out how to tie back the extra hair, though, and I tripped over my own tailfeathers earlier.

[Everything... is long. His nails are long, his hair is long, his feathers are long...]

I'm trying to figure out how to talk around this lisp that the fangs have given me, too. [thith lithp that the fangth have given him]

So, only slightly more of a disaster than usual? [ He's teasing. He loves you, Gnosis, truly. He even wraps his tail around Gnosis' waist, as per the norm. ]

I don't know if there's anything I can do to help, but if you'd like, I don't mind fetching things for you if you need.

You'd fetch things I need on a good day.

[Just saying! Gayass.]

I'm not usually disastrous at all, by the way. [you super are babe]

Perhaps. Only if I'm in a good mood. [ Spoilers, Gnosis always makes him be in a good mood. ]

Light of my life, if you truly believe that, you've been deluding yourself for several decades. I love you and your disaster, though.

They've called me delusional before. I'm no stranger to it.

[He leans back, though, and then kisses Enciodes under the chin. Mindful of the horns, of course, he wouldn't want to stab him while he's got his head in the titties.]

I love you too, hypocrite. You're as disastrous as they come.

[He says, with alllll the love in the world in his eyes. You're gross. You're Disgusting.]

I never claimed not to be. [ He combs his fingers through Gnosis' hair, purring. ] If anything, it's one of my charm points~.

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[netbook] creature diagnosis

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