If you wanna cry, use my heart

[lupusxylem]

Who: Nicholas D. Wolfwood and YOU!
What: Vash is gone, and it's slowly sinking in he isn't coming back this time
When: Mid-late May
Where: Various locations in the Grove
Warnings: Wolfwood's mouth, otherwise will warn if needed


[Vash disappearing is nothing new, at this point. Wolfwood doesn't fly off the handle searching for him the moment he wakes up and the Plant isn't where he expects him to be, because that's just...something he's come to get used to with him. He knows better than to think Vash would split intentionally, because they've come to an understanding in regards to him doing that. Besides, a lot has been going on lately. He could just...be anywhere, you know?

No reason to worry.

Right?

...

But as the hours pass and the day wears on, with Wolfwood checking up on his people and his Church, he doesn't see hide nor hair of Vash. He still tries to just do his normal thing and not be a weirdo freak about not seeing him, though it doesn't feel great to see the sun set and still not know where he is. Where the hell has he wandered off to this time? Did he go on a trip to the Lighthouse again and just not say anything?

...

Now it's been almost a full week, and suddenly it's not so little of a problem anymore. He's certain he's not the only one to notice yet, though maybe he's the first to rip off the bandaid, so to speak. Angelina has been the most confused, pacing around the house and the Grove trying to find him, sniffing all of the old scents he'd left behind only to come up empty.

It really. Really fucking sucks, and for the first time, Wolfwood is realizing he's having to contend with something he had hoped he wouldn't for a while. It feels...numb. It's easier to repress and bottle up his feelings through the numbness, but god only knows how long that will last.

Anyway, after he's watched Angelina stressfully pace around for another hour, he finally pulls out the notebook to send out a message.]

if any of you have seen Vash in the last couple days come get me right now.
im at the church.

[Maybe someone's seen him. Maybe he can just find him and shake him until that one braincell rattles loose for scaring him like this.

It's easier than admitting to himself that Vash isn't here anymore.

Comments

[eidxiety]

[Realistically, magic exists here, too; perhaps it's for the best that Wolfwood didn't say that either way, because Ain would've launched into an upset spiel about how it wasn't the magic, it was never the magic, it was the fact that they had Elsword — his Elsword, not the fake one here, the glue that held them all together, the sole person that's kept everyone focused on their goals.

Saying that much would've just driven Ain off, too. That's the last thing either of them need.]

...Sorry. I know it's not very helpful to hear.

[lupusxylem]

[Losing Ain right now would have been too much, so it's definitely for the best. Of course, Wolfwood still feels bad that he can't be more articulate right now, and he can tell that Ain is in the same boat. It's why he's just leaning on him right now, trying- and failing- to keep himself in one piece.]

Nah. I just...

[...]

He's run off so much, I keep thinkin' maybe he'll just...come back like before. Then I can kill him for disappearin' myself.

[He exhales on a weak, watery sounding laugh at that.]

[eidxiety]

...yeah. I dunno. I can't...

[Ain leans forward, putting his forehead against his knees and sighing.]

...even our flightiest members weren't that flighty. If that's really what happened, I'll be upset. I'll be glad he's okay, but... I don't know. It's difficult for me to forgive something like that. I'm too clingy.

[Ain was sort of aware of Vash's habits, but it's not like he actually thought he'd live through them.]

[lupusxylem]

[...]

Honestly, I don't...think so. Not this time.

[As much as it SUCKS to have to say that.]

I got this feelin', I guess. And I ain't ever been one to trust just what my gut's sayin' without seeing it for myself, but...

I don't think he'd do this. Not again.

[He, dare he say it, trusts Vash enough now not to.]

S'like when he swam off when we were stuck in the sea. Just...

...happened.

[eidxiety]

[Ain is realising he's having a lot of regrets, suddenly. He regrets not talking to Vash more. He regrets not getting closer, and for waiting so long to try. He regrets the time he got a bunch of people killed by being stupid and giving Vash the El fragment, thinking it would heal him. And Ain can't say he wasn't slightly mad at him for other things in the end — he wanted Vash to stop picking on Add, because he just wanted all his partners to get along or at least pretend to for his sake. But at the same time, he regrets not speaking up more. Not trying.

He sits back against the pew and breathes a shaky sigh. All of these negative emotions are doubling back on him now, and he doesn't know what to do with them. He feels like he's going to explode. It's much, much different from when he was fighting with Add constantly, and fighting with Wolfwood by extension. That, at least, ended with both of them alive.

Suddenly, something in Ain snaps, and he winds up swinging his leg over Wolfwood's and sitting down in his lap, holding his shoulders too tightly with his dragon strength.]

If you ever do something stupid like this and get yourself killed, I am personally going to march into the Garden, drag you back, and tie you down so you never do something like that again.

[To be honest, he's not sure where the outburst comes from. But he's... scared. He's scared that Wolfwood will go look for Vash and that Suri will get him, too. And then what would Ain do? Suffer two losses at once?

No. No, no, he can't let that happen.]

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood had been in the middle of rubbing his hands over his face again, trying desperately to come to terms with this awful numbness clashing with grief that's going on like a hurricane in his brain, only to be shocked out of his reverie when Ain suddenly swings himself across his lap and plants himself there, gripping him with a force that's almost shocking.

There's a brief moment of tense, heavy air between them both after Ain says that, like his words are literally hanging, dependent on a response. His eyes dart briefly for a moment, searching Ain's face for any signs of real upset or anger there, but in the end he just finds...that he's afraid. Scared.

And he gets that. He really does.

It's why he ends up sagging forward, the stony mask his face had taken on as a coping mechanism breaking a fraction as he slowly loops his arms around Ain's waist, dropping his head forward against his shoulder.]

I...I ain't. I ain't gonna...

[And then he inhales on a deep, shaky breath, gripping Ain slightly tighter.]