sticksandbones | If you wanna cry, use my heart

Who: Nicholas D. Wolfwood and YOU!
What: Vash is gone, and it's slowly sinking in he isn't coming back this time
When: Mid-late May
Where: Various locations in the Grove
Warnings: Wolfwood's mouth, otherwise will warn if needed

[Vash disappearing is nothing new, at this point. Wolfwood doesn't fly off the handle searching for him the moment he wakes up and the Plant isn't where he expects him to be, because that's just...something he's come to get used to with him. He knows better than to think Vash would split intentionally, because they've come to an understanding in regards to him doing that. Besides, a lot has been going on lately. He could just...be anywhere, you know?

No reason to worry.

Right?

...

But as the hours pass and the day wears on, with Wolfwood checking up on his people and his Church, he doesn't see hide nor hair of Vash. He still tries to just do his normal thing and not be a weirdo freak about not seeing him, though it doesn't feel great to see the sun set and still not know where he is. Where the hell has he wandered off to this time? Did he go on a trip to the Lighthouse again and just not say anything?

...

Now it's been almost a full week, and suddenly it's not so little of a problem anymore. He's certain he's not the only one to notice yet, though maybe he's the first to rip off the bandaid, so to speak. Angelina has been the most confused, pacing around the house and the Grove trying to find him, sniffing all of the old scents he'd left behind only to come up empty.

It really. Really fucking sucks, and for the first time, Wolfwood is realizing he's having to contend with something he had hoped he wouldn't for a while. It feels...numb. It's easier to repress and bottle up his feelings through the numbness, but god only knows how long that will last.

Anyway, after he's watched Angelina stressfully pace around for another hour, he finally pulls out the notebook to send out a message.]

if any of you have seen Vash in the last couple days come get me right now.
im at the church.

[Maybe someone's seen him. Maybe he can just find him and shake him until that one braincell rattles loose for scaring him like this.

It's easier than admitting to himself that Vash isn't here anymore.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oooh Meryl...

Wolfwood is, at least, thankful for the new emotion to grab, because it's so, so much easier to be angry than the gnawing upset he feels over everything right now. His gaze narrows, and though he's still wearing those stupid shades, she'll see the way the light reflects off his eyes as he glowers at her.]

Who gave you the right to put words in my god damn mouth?

[His tail lashes behind him, and honestly he dares her to shoot him. He doesn't seem afraid, and if anything, maybe the pain of a bullet will make the pain of losing Vash lessen somewhat.]

You ain't been here long enough to tell me what I have, and haven't been doin'. This place will fuckin' chew you up and spit you out, over, and over. The only reason you ain't been humbled yet is cause you ain't gone into those woods.

[As he steps forward, his prosthetic hits the ground with a tinny sound, as if to emphasize his point.]

Do you think I haven't looked? You really think I just sat here and ain't looked?!

[The sheer wrath that WOlfwood faces Meryl with is almost enough to get her back down. Maybe it would have been, had Wolfwood not used a particular set of words. They're both clawing at each other's weak spots it seems, considering he just so happens to use the phrasing that Meryl so fondly recalls from Roberto.

This world will eat you alive, Newbie.]

I am so tired of hearing that. Like I don't know how to function anywhere. I'm not a child. And you can't just boss me around. [Despite his height, despite his menacing features, Meryl still steps to him. Her hand hovers close to the pocket with her gun in it, but she doesn't pull it out yet at least.] You think I haven't been humbled? Do you know how many people I've watched die because I didn't do something?

[Meryl feels her eyes start to burn, and it's all she can do to shake her head and keep the tears at bay.]

I don't think you know a thing about looking. Because I was the one always going back to JuLai. Because I used every resource I had at my disposal to keep looking for him? [Another step closer, enough to be able to jab him in the chest.] And where. Were. You?

[Again, Wolfwood growls. He snarls, though it's maybe saying something that he doesn't move further. He isn't attacking her, nor is he trying to make her leave...but boy, is he sure clearly unhappy with the way this conversation has turned.]

I. Don't. Know. You got different memories than I do!! Don't you get it, that's the way this fucking place works!

[He just barely restrains himself from grabbing that hand that pokes him. Probably for the best he doesn't, especially when he knows he's much larger, and more...bestial right now. He doesn't know his own strength.]

The last thing I remember is JuLai gettin' nuked, and then nothing else. Suddenly, I'm in this place for the next two years. That's where I've been, Little Missy.

[Meryl flinches back the second that Wolfwood growls. The earlier, prickling fear develops into a full blown serpent, coiling around her heart and injecting its venom into her blood. She takes a step back, but her shoulders don't drop, nor does the pinch in her brow loosen to any degree.]

Don't call me that. You haven't earned any nicknames, Undertaker. [She knows she's a hypocrite. That's the point.] So great, you've been here! That doesn't change anything. You're still sitting back and watching Vash run away. You know how he is. So go after him. Or at least help me find him.

You owe me, after everything!

[Wolfwood wants to just...scream, or cry, or demand she get out, or something. He is not in the mental headspace to deal with this right now, and honestly? If he were to ask himself, deeply and seriously, why he's reluctant to charge into the forest and look for Vash...it's not just the danger of it all.

It's knowing that he's going to very likely have his worst fears realized. He'll look for him, and come up empty-handed.

But he doesn't know how to explain that to Meryl, who clearly has fight in her that Wolfwood is struggling to cling to. His tail lashes anxiously behind him, and for a long moment he says nothing, though at least his new, wolfish face makes it harder to tell that he looks like he might actually burst into frustrated tears at any moment.

He reaches up and takes off his shades, turning them over between his claws.]

...there's a place people go when they "disappear", here. S'called The Garden. If Vash really ain't here anymore...a lil' girl named Nene would know. I'd ask her first.

[After a moment, he holds his glasses out towards her.]

If he ain't there, take these with you if you're gonna go into the woods. They'll make sure you don't run up against the wall.

[Meryl waits.

And waits.

And waits a little more.

It's hard to say what she expects. He seems to have calmed enough that he won't be straight up lunging at her any time soon, but she isn't quite convinced of that. There's a tension that hangs in the air, though, one that she's scared to place. Imagining the occasionally terrifying Wolfwood resisting the urge to cry is a terrifying one.

It indicates a reality she isn't ready to believe in.]

The garden. [She takes the glasses and... just sort of holds them aloft for a second. She doesn't quite understand, but there's a lot of stuff that doesn't make sense yet.]

Nene... where can I find her?

[Since she actually took them, he'll at least explain what he means with giving them to her.]

They're enchanted. I got 'em done so I could move through the forest safely if I ever needed to. If you don't use somethin' like that while in there, you'll be in real trouble.

[He exhales, the sound heavy and deep.]

She's got a house here.

[And he'll describe how she can find her, should she decide to go that route.]

Just...don't say I didn't warn you if you get an answer you ain't happy with.

[The glasses are folded and tucked away for the time being. She keeps her eyes on Wolfwood, though, afraid that if she looks away, he might disappear without giving her the answers she needed. It had already happened once, after all.]

It'll be an answer. That's all I want.

[She knows that one answer will upset her more than the other, but it was far better than having to wait and wonder.]

Do you want me to tell you what I find out?

[For better or worse, Wolfwood isn't going anywhere...likely not for a long time, so she won't have to worry about that. He gets that feeling, somehow.

...]

If you will. Not that I expect you to feel obligated to, considerin'.

Just tell her I sent you. She knows who I am.

Yeah. Okay. I will.

[She takes a few steps back, then... pauses.]

I'm... sorry, for the record. That he's gone, I mean.

[Not quite sorry for yelling, oops.]

...yeah. Me too.

[Is he sorry for Vash being gone, or sorry for being a dick? Maybe it's both, but he doesn't seem to be interested in elaborating.]

If you find 'im, you've got full license to come back and tell me you told me so.

I will.

[Find him? Gloat? Either way, Meryl keeps her chin stubbornly high as she turns away from him.]

You better be here when I get back, by the way. Or else.

[Knowing Meryl, it's probably a threat to be taken seriously.]

[Even though Meryl has turned away and isn't looking at him right now, she'll still hear the derisive scoff he exhales on.]

Don't think you'll hafta worry about that. I get the feelin' I won't be able to leave this place even if I wanted to.

Yeah. Well. Keep it that way.

[She doesn't give him time to argue before she's stomped her way out of the door.]

If you wanna cry, use my heart

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