H-O-T T-O G-O
For those of you that have spent the last few weeks in or around Night Vale, you’ve probably seen a handful of rainbow adorned signs here and there. Various events have been occurring throughout the town — the Night Vale Community Theater put on a very bawdy live performance of a book called
Taken By The Gay Unicorn Biker , while the Night Vale Psychological Association has held various events gently reminding the public that it is okay to be straight. Most of these have been largely closed off to residents, though a few more generous souls might gently offer to let you in.
Around the 15th of the month, however, a load of new signs go up not just in Night Vale, but around the Grove. The culprit, of course, is one Luca Aurelius, who hurriedly puts up signs wherever one might see. Like the others, it’s similarly decorated in a colorful light prism, though the name is a little different.
Welcome to the Festival of Bonds A list of events follows below the title. Of note:
The Annual Night Vale Pride Parade A Drag Show and Karaoke Competition, featuring a special guest judge A Date Auction, hosted by Luca Aurelius And much, much more.
Ain’t Been OUT In Awhile Anyway
And much, much more happens to come far sooner than the rest of the festivities. Seemingly overnight, the town of Night Vale becomes a paradise of pride. Flags are unraveled and hang from every pole, window, and shoulder of the various citizens of the city. Various events erupt throughout the borough, both sanctioned and unsanctioned. The Car Lot hosts a Drag Drag Show, in which participants will be assigned to their corresponding sexualities or gender identities, and forced to assemble not only a safe and fabulous outfit, but participate in a race against the other teams. Mission Grove Park , revealing the long forgotten Night Vale colosseum. Those who venture down will be captured and sent into the arena, where they will have five minutes to craft the most sturdy glowstick weapon and fight their competitor. The first one to break and spill glow goo all over its fighter will be deemed the loser.
We're All Friends Of Dorothy And So Is My Horse
As you’ve probably come to expect with Night Vale, nothing about the Pride Parade is anywhere close to normal. Each passing group gets a little louder, a little prouder than the last. And the parade? It doesn’t stop. For days, they trudge on and on throughout Night Vale. Want to cross the street? Too bad, you’ll be waiting for an hour or two? About to go on a jog? Good luck getting through the crowd.
If asked how they manage to be
everywhere , the members simply respond “We’re here and we’re queer.” Great. Helpful.
Thankfully, each section of the parade has a banner announcing themselves. It’s probably the only way you might distinguish some of the participants, considering the weird shticks each group seems to have going. Notably:
Every member of the transgender track club is entirely invisible. Their clothes and adornments are not. A green-tinted glass float goes by, sponsored by the antique shop. Two men sporting matching MLM capes cryptically remind you “doɥS ʇ,uoᗡ 'ʇdop∀”. At night, the float is accompanied by black lights, revealing an eerie glow from the float itself. The Aces and Arrows poker and archery club hosts a mobile display, featuring targets color coded to the Ace and Aro flags. The poker players throw their cards with deadly precision, while archers deftly shoot through any cards that land in the bullseye. The standing pansexual army is adorned in armor sourced entirely from their kitchens The Sapphic Sword Fighting team participates in a unique dance of swordplay and theater. A dragon dodges out of the group every few blocks and steals the hottest woman they can find. There may be makeouts. A float with a banner declaring “Protect the Dolls” rolls through. A number of life-sized ball jointed dolls stare eerily into your soul. For those of you who are not out to yourselves yet, a number of realizations may occur soon after. There's a gay float brought to you by the joyous congregation of the smiling god, who misunderstood the assignment. Gay vore enthusiasts may still find something to love about this, I’m not your dad. The kink pride group is infiltrated by a number of bears in leather gear. Any homophobes in the audience will be ritually fed to them. The local association of realtors have created their own float. Unfortunately , it is occupied by a number of deer. Fortunately , they are very in the spirit of the festival, and will be throwing candy and mardi gras beads into the crowd. Anyone is welcome to participate. Hell, if you don’t, you might just get dragged into the celebration should someone clock you. Or just want to give you hell. Welcome to the
black Gay Parade
Always, I Wanna Be With You
Before the final party can begin, and before the divas walk the runway, one very important matter of business has to be taken care of. Luca takes his place on the stage, holding a number of envelopes, each adorned with a heart and a different name on it.
“When I call your name, please step up to the stage. We’ll start each bid at ten shells, and go until you see fit to stop.” Luca flashes a grin to the crowd and begins pulling out envelopes. Some of you probably expect your name to come up — you did
sign up , after all. Others, however, will be very surprised when their own is called. Unfortunately, the submission box has developed a mind of its own.
Well… Have fun with that.
I Wanna Make A Supersonic Man Out Of You
Once the dates have been assigned, the fun really begins. Music begins playing at full volume, sending pounding beats through the whole building. Yes, there is a disco ball. Of course there is foam. And all the left over glow sticks have been broken, leaving you to paint whatever glowing nonsense you want on your skin. victims performers. There is no way out. Attempts to dodge the responsibility by insisting you’re not dressed for it will result in you being deposited in front of a nearby photobooth.life
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sticksandbones2025-06-20 08:12 pm
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