[Luca steps up to the stage, dressed to the nines. He holds a microphone in his hand, which he's thankfully already spent a solid day getting the hang of. No temporal fish out of water here, thank you.]
Welcome, everyone! To start this evening's party right, we will be making sure you are properly assigned a date. From this box... [He motions to a nearby pedestal, with an ornate wooden box sitting atop of it. The very sight of it seems to exude both power and mystery. #JustNightValeThings.] I will be drawing each of your names and reading off a description. From there, the bidding will begin. All proceeds, based off of the usual currencies, will go toward keeping the bar stocked and events ongoing.
If there are no questions [No, he won't give you time to ask.] We shall begin.
[And without wasting another moment, he plucks out the first name.]
[[I'll be plopping little character descriptions in as I receive sign-ups. Please be patient!]]
[Luca makes a brief face as he reads off the name. How does one accurately describe someone like Razlo, let alone in a way that might appeal to an audience. Time to figure that out, Luca supposes.]
Razlo enjoys long walks on a bloody beach, and a thorough diet of meat, meat, and more meat. He can be found both at the bar, and tearing off chunks of trees with his own teeth. If you are the type of person who desires a man that can break you over his knee, look no further.
Thorns, also known as Isidro, is a very talented man. Not only can he identify a strain of neurotoxin in .5 seconds, he will easily determine your exact love language and cater his whims to yours. Not only is he incredibly passionate [A wink to the audience.] but he isn't afraid to be spontaneous. His efforts will almost assuredly turn your world upside down.
Gentle, loving, and stunningly beautiful are only a few words to describe our beloved White Lily Cookie. She has spent painstaking months caring for our number — now it is your turn to take care of her. With a love language coded in acts of service and quality time, she is a perfect fit for someone who wants to love and be loved with their whole heart.
That being said, don't discount this Crunchy Cookie's wild side. All I ask is that you be careful. Anyone who doesn't handle her gentle heart will be sure to face the wrath of most of us here in the Grove.
Being a firebird incarnate, you can expect nothing short of fiery passion from this young man. The only thing that rivals the depth of his love is the strength of his heart and the resourcefulness of his mind. While he has long rallied our forces and allowed us to take great strides in our knowledge of this world, it's about time someone did the caring for him.
Don't miss your chance to thoroughly treat and spoil someone who would gladly do the same for you.
Small, well-read, and incredibly fierce, this young woman will certainly give you a night you won't forget. Play nice, and she'll publish nothing but the sweetest poetry of you. Give her a rough time, however, and you'll find yourself in a world of hurt.
The man may have terrible taste [Yes, he's seen him with Kiera. No, he will not let it go.] But at least his pretty face makes up for it. With eyes that seem to see into your soul, and perfectly dyed hair, he certainly meets all the requirements for tall, dark, and mysterious. Act now if you want to eat this man up yourself. Or maybe he'll eat you up in kind?
If being fed to the pride parade bear was even mildly appealing to you, then this man will be perfect for you. Burly but with a charming heart of gold, not only can you count on this man to make you smile, but you know you'll always be safe within his very, very large hands.
[Luca draws the next name out of the box and... immediately finds himself scowling. He scrunches the piece up and shoves it into a pocket, then reaches for another one.]
You have got to be... [He shakes his head.] Apparently, someone's left and right titty have been nominated? Specifically those of Flamebringer. The note makes it very clear that yes, there is a man attached to them.
... If you really want to bid on this, be my guest.
[Otherwise, he's throwing both pieces of paper straight at FB.]
Now then, I want everyone to pay close attention for this one. The following candidate is of a younger age than most of us. As such, his options will be explicitly limited to his age group, and anything that occurs will take place explicitly with a chaperone of his choice at the Watchtower. The full-course meal will be catered by myself in a private evening get-together.
Is everyone clear?
[He waits for the murmurs of assent before continuing.]
Good. Now then, I would like you all to meet Aira Shiratori, one of the newest members of the grove, being an, er... idol back home? [The only idols he's familiar with are the ones that get worshipped? He needs to talk to Mafuyu more.] Singing, dancing, and performing are all in his repertoire. Perhaps you might yet learn a thing or two from him?
[ Little guy of the hour is standing there and waving to point himself out! This is a little embarrassing but you know what, it seemed like a good way to meet new people so why not. ]
Sorry for the trouble. It's nice to meet everyone~
Do you crave a tortured artist in your life? Look no further than the eagle-eyed, sharp-tongued Till. He may not hesitate to verbally tear you a new one, but that bristling exterior hides a creative and talented soul. Take the time to get to know him, while also teaching him a little bit more about himself this evening by placing your bids now
I, personally will be starting the bid at 25 shells.
[So why, might you ask, is Till even here? Surely HE of all people wouldn't want to be at something like this? Well, he...he doesn't particularly feel comfortable anywhere else in Night Vale, and for once it actually feels safer in numbers.
But now he's kindof starting to regret coming actually-]
W-what!?
[Hopefully whoever is sitting near Till ducks in time to not get walloped by his tail as it lashes behind him when he suddenly gets to his feet.]
Hang on! I didn't fucking sign up for this!?!
[And his face is so red he looks like he's going to blow up, thanks!]
Dating Auction
Welcome, everyone! To start this evening's party right, we will be making sure you are properly assigned a date. From this box... [He motions to a nearby pedestal, with an ornate wooden box sitting atop of it. The very sight of it seems to exude both power and mystery. #JustNightValeThings.] I will be drawing each of your names and reading off a description. From there, the bidding will begin. All proceeds, based off of the usual currencies, will go toward keeping the bar stocked and events ongoing.
If there are no questions [No, he won't give you time to ask.] We shall begin.
[And without wasting another moment, he plucks out the first name.]
[[I'll be plopping little character descriptions in as I receive sign-ups. Please be patient!]]
Razlo
Razlo enjoys long walks on a bloody beach, and a thorough diet of meat, meat, and more meat. He can be found both at the bar, and tearing off chunks of trees with his own teeth. If you are the type of person who desires a man that can break you over his knee, look no further.
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Thorns
will bid in a second he just needs a giggle
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White Lily Cookie
That being said, don't discount this Crunchy Cookie's wild side. All I ask is that you be careful. Anyone who doesn't handle her gentle heart will be sure to face the wrath of most of us here in the Grove.
not bidding (obviously)
Huh...?
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Not bidding
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Joshua Rosfield
Don't miss your chance to thoroughly treat and spoil someone who would gladly do the same for you.
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L-Luca--!
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Meryl
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[why, yes, he did choose this number specifically to get meryl to slap him.]
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Verso
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[and a wink at verso.] Don't read into it.
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Sidney
not bidding (obviously)
Flatterin'.
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GAGTAG
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"Flamebringer"
You have got to be... [He shakes his head.] Apparently, someone's left and right titty have been nominated? Specifically those of Flamebringer. The note makes it very clear that yes, there is a man attached to them.
... If you really want to bid on this, be my guest.
[Otherwise, he's throwing both pieces of paper straight at FB.]
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I didn't write that down! They're not that big!
[girl they're HUGE]
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disclaimer: i don't know anything about this either so i am on google,
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Aira
Is everyone clear?
[He waits for the murmurs of assent before continuing.]
Good. Now then, I would like you all to meet Aira Shiratori, one of the newest members of the grove, being an, er... idol back home? [The only idols he's familiar with are the ones that get worshipped? He needs to talk to Mafuyu more.] Singing, dancing, and performing are all in his repertoire. Perhaps you might yet learn a thing or two from him?
not here technically i just. hes a dad-
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Sorry for the trouble. It's nice to meet everyone~
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Ten shells!
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Till
I, personally will be starting the bid at 25 shells.
[Can he do that? Well, this is his show so yes.]
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[Why are you like this]
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But now he's kindof starting to regret coming actually-]
W-what!?
[Hopefully whoever is sitting near Till ducks in time to not get walloped by his tail as it lashes behind him when he suddenly gets to his feet.]
Hang on! I didn't fucking sign up for this!?!
[And his face is so red he looks like he's going to blow up, thanks!]
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Question
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