The Festival of Bonds (Sticks Pride 2025)

[unheiring]

The A in LGBTQIA Stands For “All Hail"

H-O-T T-O G-O

For those of you that have spent the last few weeks in or around Night Vale, you’ve probably seen a handful of rainbow adorned signs here and there. Various events have been occurring throughout the town — the Night Vale Community Theater put on a very bawdy live performance of a book called Taken By The Gay Unicorn Biker, while the Night Vale Psychological Association has held various events gently reminding the public that it is okay to be straight. Most of these have been largely closed off to residents, though a few more generous souls might gently offer to let you in.

Around the 15th of the month, however, a load of new signs go up not just in Night Vale, but around the Grove. The culprit, of course, is one Luca Aurelius, who hurriedly puts up signs wherever one might see. Like the others, it’s similarly decorated in a colorful light prism, though the name is a little different.

Welcome to the Festival of Bonds

A list of events follows below the title. Of note:

• The Annual Night Vale Pride Parade
  
• A Drag Show and Karaoke Competition, featuring a special guest judge
  
• A Date Auction, hosted by Luca Aurelius
  
• And much, much more.

Ain’t Been OUT In Awhile Anyway

And much, much more happens to come far sooner than the rest of the festivities. Seemingly overnight, the town of Night Vale becomes a paradise of pride. Flags are unraveled and hang from every pole, window, and shoulder of the various citizens of the city. Various events erupt throughout the borough, both sanctioned and unsanctioned. The Car Lot hosts a Drag Drag Show, in which participants will be assigned to their corresponding sexualities or gender identities, and forced to assemble not only a safe and fabulous outfit, but participate in a race against the other teams.

Meanwhile, a sinkhole has opened up within Mission Grove Park, revealing the long forgotten Night Vale colosseum. Those who venture down will be captured and sent into the arena, where they will have five minutes to craft the most sturdy glowstick weapon and fight their competitor. The first one to break and spill glow goo all over its fighter will be deemed the loser.

Several booths are also present, throughout town. Many of them house non-descript photobooths which, when stepped into, will change the outfit of whoever stepped in to a coordinating outfit to their sexuality or gender — whether they’re aware of it or not. Thankfully, there are plenty of charts to decode the colors. Have fun learning about yourselves!

Of course, you might also come out wearing a rainbow poncho. It’s a good thing that you did, because right as you do, the Glow Cloud (all hail) appears. A rain of painted and dyed animals falls from its fluffy, glowing depths. Thankfully, these animals are all alive for once. Thank you, Glow Cloud (all hail).

On the night of the full moon, of course, several citizens crawl out of the woodwork, heading into the dust of the desert. They’ll drag you along if you’re not careful, too. Why? It’s time for the gender neutral bellowing to the ancient gods. Make sure you’re dressed to impress, just in case they arrive.

Meanwhile, the volunteer committee for Wrath Month is more than happy to tell anyone about their upcoming ball drop, which marks the end of June and the transition into July. Anyone nearby is encouraged to write the name of their most beloathed and drop it into the massive crystal ball. When the ornate structure shatters on the final night of June, the names will be scattered to the wind. The Wrath Committee happily reminds you that ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇꜱ.

On a happier note, many of your own seem to have adjusted well to the festivities. Pavlova Cookie has opened up a tent a ways away from the festivities. The quiet, when paired with the soft pillows and blankets adorning every surface within the tent, makes for a cozy atmosphere. It’s perfect for the service Pavlova Cookie offers — Relationship Advice.

We're All Friends Of Dorothy And So Is My Horse

As you’ve probably come to expect with Night Vale, nothing about the Pride Parade is anywhere close to normal. Each passing group gets a little louder, a little prouder than the last. And the parade? It doesn’t stop. For days, they trudge on and on throughout Night Vale. Want to cross the street? Too bad, you’ll be waiting for an hour or two? About to go on a jog? Good luck getting through the crowd.

If asked how they manage to be everywhere, the members simply respond “We’re here and we’re queer.” Great. Helpful.

Thankfully, each section of the parade has a banner announcing themselves. It’s probably the only way you might distinguish some of the participants, considering the weird shticks each group seems to have going. Notably:

• Every member of the transgender track club is entirely invisible. Their clothes and adornments are not.
  
• A green-tinted glass float goes by, sponsored by the antique shop. Two men sporting matching MLM capes cryptically remind you “doɥS ʇ,uoᗡ 'ʇdop∀”. At night, the float is accompanied by black lights, revealing an eerie glow from the float itself.
  
• The Aces and Arrows poker and archery club hosts a mobile display, featuring targets color coded to the Ace and Aro flags. The poker players throw their cards with deadly precision, while archers deftly shoot through any cards that land in the bullseye.
  
• The standing pansexual army is adorned in armor sourced entirely from their kitchens
  
• The Sapphic Sword Fighting team participates in a unique dance of swordplay and theater. A dragon dodges out of the group every few blocks and steals the hottest woman they can find. There may be makeouts.
  
• A float with a banner declaring “Protect the Dolls” rolls through. A number of life-sized ball jointed dolls stare eerily into your soul. For those of you who are not out to yourselves yet, a number of realizations may occur soon after.
  
• There's a gay float brought to you by the joyous congregation of the smiling god, who misunderstood the assignment. Gay vore enthusiasts may still find something to love about this, I’m not your dad.
  
• The kink pride group is infiltrated by a number of bears in leather gear. Any homophobes in the audience will be ritually fed to them.
  
• The local association of realtors have created their own float. Unfortunately, it is occupied by a number of deer. Fortunately, they are very in the spirit of the festival, and will be throwing candy and mardi gras beads into the crowd.
  

Anyone is welcome to participate. Hell, if you don’t, you might just get dragged into the celebration should someone clock you. Or just want to give you hell. Welcome to the black Gay Parade

Always, I Wanna Be With You

Before the final party can begin, and before the divas walk the runway, one very important matter of business has to be taken care of. Luca takes his place on the stage, holding a number of envelopes, each adorned with a heart and a different name on it.

“When I call your name, please step up to the stage. We’ll start each bid at ten shells, and go until you see fit to stop.” Luca flashes a grin to the crowd and begins pulling out envelopes. Some of you probably expect your name to come up — you did sign up , after all. Others, however, will be very surprised when their own is called. Unfortunately, the submission box has developed a mind of its own.

Well… Have fun with that.

I Wanna Make A Supersonic Man Out Of You

Once the dates have been assigned, the fun really begins. Music begins playing at full volume, sending pounding beats through the whole building. Yes, there is a disco ball. Of course there is foam. And all the left over glow sticks have been broken, leaving you to paint whatever glowing nonsense you want on your skin.

Of course, halfway through the night, the crowd settles down as the lights on a nearby stage come on. The drag show is about to begin. Volunteers are welcome, but if the stage goes empty for too long, characters will find that there will be consequences. Namely, the arrival of the Sphere, which hovers above unsuspecting victims performers. There is no way out. Attempts to dodge the responsibility by insisting you’re not dressed for it will result in you being deposited in front of a nearby photobooth.

There’s only one thing to be done. Lipsync for your life

Spark Notes

summary

• Photobooths that will assign random outfits. These will be color coordinated to whatever pride flag you feel your character identifies with..
  
• Or they’ll get rained on by the glow cloud
  
• Enjoy drag races in drag at the car lot.
  
• Bellow to the new moon if you feel like it
  
• Sign up for wrath month by entering the name of your worst enemy.
  
• Fight to the glowy death (not really) in the newly revealed Night Vale Colosseum.

There are also three “main” events:

• A pride parade featuring various displays. Yes, you can join in. Or you can get dragged in. I guess you can also be eaten by the bears, I’m not your dad.
  
• A date auction, in which your character can be “accidentally” entered or voluntarily do so. Please sign up here if you haven’t
  
• A big old party occurs, interrupted by a massive drag show. Like before, your character can willingly go up on stage, or be randomly selected by the Sphere.
  

code

Comments

Dating Auction

[unheiring]

[Luca steps up to the stage, dressed to the nines. He holds a microphone in his hand, which he's thankfully already spent a solid day getting the hang of. No temporal fish out of water here, thank you.]

Welcome, everyone! To start this evening's party right, we will be making sure you are properly assigned a date. From this box... [He motions to a nearby pedestal, with an ornate wooden box sitting atop of it. The very sight of it seems to exude both power and mystery. #JustNightValeThings.] I will be drawing each of your names and reading off a description. From there, the bidding will begin. All proceeds, based off of the usual currencies, will go toward keeping the bar stocked and events ongoing.

If there are no questions [No, he won't give you time to ask.] We shall begin.

[And without wasting another moment, he plucks out the first name.]

[[I'll be plopping little character descriptions in as I receive sign-ups. Please be patient!]]

Relationship Advice

[lovelyredthread]

[ Whether you came here as a joke or out of curiosity-- or if you genuinely want to receive the advice he's offering, you've found yourself at a tent just far enough away from the din of the pride-goers to be comfortable. It's decorated with pride flags of all kinds, and a little sign hangs above the entrance flap indicating Pavlova is present and accepting guests

inside is the child you may or may not have met before, sitting among the blankets and pillows he's lined the tent with. Fairy lights illuminate the area and he smiles at you knowingly. ]

Welcome! What do you need help with today?

Razlo

[unheiring]

[Luca makes a brief face as he reads off the name. How does one accurately describe someone like Razlo, let alone in a way that might appeal to an audience. Time to figure that out, Luca supposes.]

Razlo enjoys long walks on a bloody beach, and a thorough diet of meat, meat, and more meat. He can be found both at the bar, and tearing off chunks of trees with his own teeth. If you are the type of person who desires a man that can break you over his knee, look no further.

Thorns

[unheiring]

Thorns, also known as Isidro, is a very talented man. Not only can he identify a strain of neurotoxin in .5 seconds, he will easily determine your exact love language and cater his whims to yours. Not only is he incredibly passionate [A wink to the audience.] but he isn't afraid to be spontaneous. His efforts will almost assuredly turn your world upside down.

White Lily Cookie

[unheiring]

Gentle, loving, and stunningly beautiful are only a few words to describe our beloved White Lily Cookie. She has spent painstaking months caring for our number — now it is your turn to take care of her. With a love language coded in acts of service and quality time, she is a perfect fit for someone who wants to love and be loved with their whole heart.

That being said, don't discount this Crunchy Cookie's wild side. All I ask is that you be careful. Anyone who doesn't handle her gentle heart will be sure to face the wrath of most of us here in the Grove.

Joshua Rosfield

[unheiring]

Being a firebird incarnate, you can expect nothing short of fiery passion from this young man. The only thing that rivals the depth of his love is the strength of his heart and the resourcefulness of his mind. While he has long rallied our forces and allowed us to take great strides in our knowledge of this world, it's about time someone did the caring for him.

Don't miss your chance to thoroughly treat and spoil someone who would gladly do the same for you.

not bidding (obviously)

[lilyberation]

( CHOKES?! FLUSTERED???? SHE DID NOT DO THIS )

Huh...?

[notthislife]

[Sorry, Lily, but...]

10 shells.

[livlaughlove]

FIFTY!!!

[can other participants bid? he doesn't care, actually.]

[unheiring]

[Well Luca certainly isn't going to stop it. This is entertaining.]

[notthislife]

Fifty one.

[He'll absolutely be a pest about this, thank you.]

Not bidding

[lovelyredthread]

[ He looks kind of confused! Don't look at him this was not his fault. ]

will bid in a second he just needs a giggle

[wolfetracks]

( hold on he's laughing- )

[kingincognito]

[ hang on hold on excuse him what ]

L-Luca--!

[unheiring]

[Just lifting his brows.]

Did I hear someone say fifty shells out of the gate?

[livlaughlove]

I bet ya don't even HAVE fifty-one shells, fresh meat!!! Fifty TWO!

Meryl

[unheiring]

Small, well-read, and incredibly fierce, this young woman will certainly give you a night you won't forget. Play nice, and she'll publish nothing but the sweetest poetry of you. Give her a rough time, however, and you'll find yourself in a world of hurt.

[lilyberation]

( as she slowly grows more and more flustered- )

Is this a prank...?

Verso

[unheiring]

The man may have terrible taste [Yes, he's seen him with Kiera. No, he will not let it go.] But at least his pretty face makes up for it. With eyes that seem to see into your soul, and perfectly dyed hair, he certainly meets all the requirements for tall, dark, and mysterious. Act now if you want to eat this man up yourself. Or maybe he'll eat you up in kind?

Sidney

[unheiring]

If being fed to the pride parade bear was even mildly appealing to you, then this man will be perfect for you. Burly but with a charming heart of gold, not only can you count on this man to make you smile, but you know you'll always be safe within his very, very large hands.

[notthislife]

I think you'll find I'm plenty resourceful. Fifty-two.

[kingincognito]

[ CLEARING HIS THROAT AND LOOKING AWAY if it's for the good of Luca's business........ ]

[sailingfor]

[Standing up there. Hearing Sidney laugh. Clears his throat—]

Technically they aren't "strains" so much as serotypes and subtypes...

[do you have to be autistic Right Now]

not bidding (obviously)

[wolfetracks]

( LAUGHING MORE. )

Flatterin'.

[wolfetracks]

( no, no, let him speak. )

15.