He tries to let that sink in, be finds himself asking more and more questions the more he tries to think about that. The Law? He did that? Why? What? Huh??? As questions reel in his head, he finally reaches his hand up to touch Andoain's cheek after a moment when he realizes one pressing question that needed to be answered before all the others. ]
...Shouldn't you...have noticed by looking at me, Andoain?
[Andoain isn't expecting his face to be touched, and the briefest flicker of alarm comes over his face before his expression settles again. Ezell might notice that his eyes are duller, grayer, than they were before.]
I lost my eyesight months ago, during the Law's malfunction.
[It's a simple answer, given very casually as he slides a hand down Ezell's arm, using this to navigate to the young man's face and brush tears away with his thumb. He doesn't trust himself to just stick his hand out; he'd be liable to accidentally deck Ezell at that point.]
...Your...eyesight? [ He pulls his hand away, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks even if his voice had come back to him. ]
... "Malfunction"???? [ He doesn't know what to do with this information overload. He feels like Andoain is just giving him hints to answers that he can never figure out. And isn't that just so like him? But in this moment, it... hurts. ]
[No, babe, he's not trying to be vague he's trying not to make it About Him by stating things very succinctly—
Anyway, give him an hour to recap the events that happened, including the part where he was sucked into a cult, which he admits very shamefully as if it's his fault his brain was invaded by a bunch of erroneous code manipulating him. Also including the part where Federico said "stop channelling your Arts into your EYES" and Andoain said "naur".
[ Genuinely, there's just dial-up sounds going through Ezell's mind this whole time. He retains all of it, of course. And despite knowing that Andoain's sanity is less than stable, he still believes him. He always will, as this is the man who freed him from not only the monotony of his life, but the racial biases of Laterano. Without him, he never would've made friends with Closure, or gotten close to Mudrock, or, hell, even dated Flamebringer. Because, yeah, there was once he believed in all the things Laterano had crammed in his head.
He still does, to some extend. But mostly the stuff about the Commandments and less so about the Infected and Any Race That Isn't Sankta- ]
...I... [ He has so many questions. ] You... were in Laterano...? With Fede...??? [ Like, is that the most important thing to start with? No. But it was the easiest for him to process, give him a break. ]
I... I'm not entirely sure. I believe it was because I happened to be in Laterano and didn't attempt to use excessive force against our so-called "bretheren". Nor did Federico. I predict that you being outside of Laterano at the time is what caused you to Fall somewhat instantly... I wish I had a better explanation for you.
[One wonders why the Law did or does anything, really. The fact that empathy still works is... hm.]
[ Another pause. It seems like Ezell is still trying to process everything. Again, it's a lot of information all at once, and he's already having his own mental breakdown from being fallen, so-
He stands though, and puts his hands on Andoain's shoulders once he realizes what all that meant for Andoain, however... ] You... you lost your eyesight because you were pushing yourself too hard. [ Not a question. Just, y'know, reiterating. ] How could you...?! I-I can't believe you would be so careless! Don't you know that you have people who depend and look to you??? [ The Pathfinders. Ezell himself... ] What if something worse had happened?!
[Oops, now he's in trouble— cautiously, he raises his hands and sets them against Ezell's, not trying to shove the other back or off but rather trying to comfort him.]
Ezell... there wasn't another option. I wish there was. The Law had created an impenetrable maze to protect itself, and the only way through was to channel my Arts into my eyes and establish a path for Federico and Arturia to follow. Had I not done so, all of Laterano would have been absorbed in the Matriarch's calamity. I could not risk it.
If something worse had happened, I would not have minded. I am still walking a path of atonement. If that fate was what befell me, I would merely say that is part of the path I had to walk.
Did you have such little faith in Saint Federico [ Switching to formal titles now that he’s thinking more clearly. He shouldn’t disrespect his friend like that. ] that you thought he wouldn’t have thought of another way?!
And I would have minded! And so would Cecelia — we think the world of you!! Are you really going to be so selfish that you do such reckless things?! How can you say it’s your path if you do not get to see the people you care for again???? What is the point of something like that!
My path of atonement has ever been long and winding, Ezell. If the loss of my vision has liberated our kind from an unfitting end, then it was worth it. If the loss of my vision was all it took to unite Sankta and Sarkaz, that is just as well. I would rather my eyesight have faded than be able to witness the simulacrum of life that the Law was hellbent on forcing all of us into.
[He shakes his head, though. It's not worth arguing about, and it's clear by the tired look in his grey eyes that he's had enough back and forth about it.]
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He tries to let that sink in, be finds himself asking more and more questions the more he tries to think about that. The Law? He did that? Why? What? Huh??? As questions reel in his head, he finally reaches his hand up to touch Andoain's cheek after a moment when he realizes one pressing question that needed to be answered before all the others. ]
...Shouldn't you...have noticed by looking at me, Andoain?
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I lost my eyesight months ago, during the Law's malfunction.
[It's a simple answer, given very casually as he slides a hand down Ezell's arm, using this to navigate to the young man's face and brush tears away with his thumb. He doesn't trust himself to just stick his hand out; he'd be liable to accidentally deck Ezell at that point.]
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... "Malfunction"???? [ He doesn't know what to do with this information overload. He feels like Andoain is just giving him hints to answers that he can never figure out. And isn't that just so like him? But in this moment, it... hurts. ]
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Anyway, give him an hour to recap the events that happened, including the part where he was sucked into a cult, which he admits very shamefully as if it's his fault his brain was invaded by a bunch of erroneous code manipulating him. Also including the part where Federico said "stop channelling your Arts into your EYES" and Andoain said "naur".
Also he's banned from Laterano fr fr this time.]
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He still does, to some extend. But mostly the stuff about the Commandments and less so about the Infected and Any Race That Isn't Sankta- ]
...I... [ He has so many questions. ] You... were in Laterano...? With Fede...??? [ Like, is that the most important thing to start with? No. But it was the easiest for him to process, give him a break. ]
But then... why aren't you fallen, like me...?
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[One wonders why the Law did or does anything, really. The fact that empathy still works is... hm.]
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He stands though, and puts his hands on Andoain's shoulders once he realizes what all that meant for Andoain, however... ] You... you lost your eyesight because you were pushing yourself too hard. [ Not a question. Just, y'know, reiterating. ] How could you...?! I-I can't believe you would be so careless! Don't you know that you have people who depend and look to you??? [ The Pathfinders. Ezell himself... ] What if something worse had happened?!
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Ezell... there wasn't another option. I wish there was. The Law had created an impenetrable maze to protect itself, and the only way through was to channel my Arts into my eyes and establish a path for Federico and Arturia to follow. Had I not done so, all of Laterano would have been absorbed in the Matriarch's calamity. I could not risk it.
If something worse had happened, I would not have minded. I am still walking a path of atonement. If that fate was what befell me, I would merely say that is part of the path I had to walk.
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And I would have minded! And so would Cecelia — we think the world of you!! Are you really going to be so selfish that you do such reckless things?! How can you say it’s your path if you do not get to see the people you care for again???? What is the point of something like that!
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[He shakes his head, though. It's not worth arguing about, and it's clear by the tired look in his grey eyes that he's had enough back and forth about it.]
I can still "see" you. Come here.