[netbook] how do you explain food to a holy boy?

[bladeascent]

[In fancy-ass calligraphy absolutely not befitting the question:]

This is Vildred. Can I ask a favour of you all?

I need help explaining human food to Ras, specifically their categories. I've just come to the realisation that categorizing certain foods requires a lot of knowledge of human culture and that "it just is that way" isn't helpful to him.

This is because I told him that the difference between a stew and a drink was simply the use of a spoon, and I know this is going to bite me later when he starts eating milk with a spoon and calling it a soup.

Specifically I need help with: stew vs soup vs drink, but anything else (sandwich vs calzone vs pastry vs ravioli vs pasta) would be useful.

Thanks.

Comments

[tempurahair]

Is that not the difference between a stew and a drink?

[fluffiestsoul]

... I think I need a drink after reading that.

[unheiring]

Simple. The difference is whatever I call it in my establishment, and if I hear him refer to it otherwise, he pays double for a drink.
Hope this helps.

[bladeascent]

Here's the thing about that: yes, but no, because you can absolutely eat a smoothie or a milkshake with a spoon, and those are widely considered drinks. I need him to not think milkshakes are stews.

[bladeascent]

With a spoon, right?

[bladeascent]

Aww, don't be like that, he's still learning to be a human person. You have to be a little nice to him while he's figuring stuff out.

[friendshipbeams]

Stews r hardyer and use less liquid than soups! They r chunkyer! Drinks versis soup/stew is the prisints of solid ingreedeents. Like tomato soup is all likuid, but it was made from a solid, wile milk was always likuid.

Hope this helps!

[tempurahair]

Perhaps milkshakes are just cold stews! :)

[friendshipbeams]

Theyre soups, acktually!

[tempurahair]

Milkshakes is stews is soups?

[fluffiestsoul]

Just going to rub it in, are we?

[lovelyredthread]

... Oh you really stepped in it this time. Stew has chunks in it, that's all I can really say. Drinks and soups are hard to separate 'cause every distinction I can come up with has an exception.

[unheiring]

He stuck his hand into my fresh stew. I spent hours on it. I am allowed to be a little cross.

[bladeascent]

[agonized holding his head in his hands at his desk rn]

No,

[bladeascent]

I... suppose the logic tracks that

wait no

[Scratching that out.]

Something like a smoothie is a drink, but that comes from solid ingredients as well as liquid ingredients, so I'm not sure that counts. You almost had something I could use for a moment there until I thought harder.

[tempurahair]

What is your argument against it, then?

[bladeascent]

One day Ras will learn to cook and he'll say "Vildred, I made us stew" and he'll hand me a milkshake, and I won't be able to say no to him.

Milkshakes are drinks.

[friendshipbeams]

u can tell yor frend that those r the axeption to drinks, but i think that is rong becawse milkshakes and stuff r soups ackording to defineishuns

[friendshipbeams]

that IS a soup!

[bladeascent]

[Aren't YOU lucky that YOUR holy boy understands food, smh]

But they're classified as drinks and not soups societally. The society part is what I'm hung up on.

[bladeascent]

I'm the one sailing the ship of chaos here, I'm discovering.

[bladeascent]

That's about where I'm drawing the line too. It really does hinge on societal knowledge, which is probably way harder to teach.

[bladeascent]

I swear I tried to stop him. This is where me flubbing the "drinks versus stew" conversation first came up.

[bladeascent]

It is absolutely not a soup.

[tempurahair]

Sounds as if living with him will be nothing but surprises! Isn't that a good thing? You will always be on your toes!