[netbook] how do you explain food to a holy boy?

[bladeascent]

[In fancy-ass calligraphy absolutely not befitting the question:]

This is Vildred. Can I ask a favour of you all?

I need help explaining human food to Ras, specifically their categories. I've just come to the realisation that categorizing certain foods requires a lot of knowledge of human culture and that "it just is that way" isn't helpful to him.

This is because I told him that the difference between a stew and a drink was simply the use of a spoon, and I know this is going to bite me later when he starts eating milk with a spoon and calling it a soup.

Specifically I need help with: stew vs soup vs drink, but anything else (sandwich vs calzone vs pastry vs ravioli vs pasta) would be useful.

Thanks.

Comments

[tempurahair]

Is that not the difference between a stew and a drink?

[bladeascent]

Here's the thing about that: yes, but no, because you can absolutely eat a smoothie or a milkshake with a spoon, and those are widely considered drinks. I need him to not think milkshakes are stews.

[tempurahair]

Perhaps milkshakes are just cold stews! :)

[fluffiestsoul]

... I think I need a drink after reading that.

[bladeascent]

With a spoon, right?

[fluffiestsoul]

Just going to rub it in, are we?

[unheiring]

Simple. The difference is whatever I call it in my establishment, and if I hear him refer to it otherwise, he pays double for a drink.
Hope this helps.

[bladeascent]

Aww, don't be like that, he's still learning to be a human person. You have to be a little nice to him while he's figuring stuff out.

[friendshipbeams]

Stews r hardyer and use less liquid than soups! They r chunkyer! Drinks versis soup/stew is the prisints of solid ingreedeents. Like tomato soup is all likuid, but it was made from a solid, wile milk was always likuid.

Hope this helps!

[bladeascent]

I... suppose the logic tracks that

wait no

[Scratching that out.]

Something like a smoothie is a drink, but that comes from solid ingredients as well as liquid ingredients, so I'm not sure that counts. You almost had something I could use for a moment there until I thought harder.

[lovelyredthread]

... Oh you really stepped in it this time. Stew has chunks in it, that's all I can really say. Drinks and soups are hard to separate 'cause every distinction I can come up with has an exception.

[bladeascent]

That's about where I'm drawing the line too. It really does hinge on societal knowledge, which is probably way harder to teach.

[cryopathy]

Sangria is a stew! ;)

[bladeascent]

Explain.

[outofsynth]

Eating milk with a spoon is weird if there isn't cereal involved, but there are worse mix-ups.

[He says this but he would be having such a hard time if he was the one stuck trying to explain food type distinctions.]

[bladeascent]

He's going to think cereal is a soup. I've ruined everything.

[charlastan]

EASY!

YOU CHEW STEW

YOU SLURP SOUP

AND YOU DRINK A DRINK!

[bladeascent]

Genuinely not sure how I'm going to explain slurping vs drinking to him.

[itisa]

It's not the spoon.
It's the straw.

[Surely adding another Utensil to the discussion will help.]

[bladeascent]

You can drink drinks without a straw, though. And to that end, they give little kids bowls with straws in them for their cereal and soup. At least my mom did.

[a_shadow]

Did you think to start with stuff like 'food you cook' and 'food you bake' and 'food you eat raw'?

[bladeascent]

I could have, but he barely knows about cooking and I don't know how to field "cookie dough is a raw food and a bake food that becomes something, exept for when the dough has eggs, and You Will Not Know This Unless You Made It Yourself, Good Luck".

[lyricistdontmiss]

OKAY so like

A drink is something you drink because you're thirsty, or because it's fun! The most important thing is that you are drinking it in some way! Not eating it with a spoon.
A soup is something you drink because you're hungry! It has bits in it sometimes! Like corn. Or noodles!
A stew is something you eat because you're hungry! But it's different from a soup because it's chunky! So like, big ol hunks of vegetables instead of small delicate bits or no bits at all.

But there's sooooo much overlap that can happen BECAUSE! Sometimes you get things like smoothies! Which are drinks because you're drinking them for fun (or sometimes because you're thirsty) but they've got bits in it because it's fruit and yogurt blended with ice! So it's like a drink-soup. And then boba is sort of like a drink-stew because it's a drink but it's got chunks! And cereal is a stew too.

Also like, poptarts are fruit raviolis? And calzones are just REALLY big raviolis. Mozzarella sticks and corn dogs are also raviolis.

But at the end of the day it doesn't really matter what you call it! All that matters is that you like it and you're not hungry or thirsty when you're done. ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ

[tempurahair]

[Man who has never seen a ravioli:]

So this means tempura are ravioli, yes?

[bladeascent]

I have a few questions.

What about drinking a smoothie for a meal (protein shake?)

What is boba?

What is poptarts?