The air is cold, the sky dreary. Ever since your return to Aldric’s Grove, the chill in the air is as bitter and sharp as a knife. The scent of stew from the General Store’s windows is comforting, almost as much as the teas Ydalir is handing out if you pass by her tent. Nene puts baskets of her fresh produce on every doorstep or before the doors of people’s rooms in the inn, and Evan and Rillian join her sometimes, the two also handing out sweaters or cloaks. It’s not going to be as bad as last year, but a bitter winter is coming. It’s best to be prepared, isn’t it?
As the winter approaches, plantimals busy themselves to prepare as best they can, too. Pinecone squirrels harvest away nuts while one by one birds move as close to warmth as they can — and that may well just be Sehul and Aurora’s domains. The river water is clear as ever and even colder, with only the blessed trees and bushes still flowering and bearing fruit.
Yet nothing prepares anyone for the green mist, knee-high at the lowest, waist-high at the highest. It smells earthy and grassy, almost floral like a garden,and it pours out of
the research hall.
There’s a chill in the air. Something… strange is happening, yet again.
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I tried to leave?
[Yeah... that sounds like him alright.]
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[hakuji gives a soft laugh, one very restrained in comparison to akaza's, but laced with affection.]
Honestly, it always scared me -- the thought of how different my life would've been if you hadn't come back. But you did.
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[It's strange, how reversed everything seemed to be between their lives. This time, it wasn't Akaza holding back, but Kyojuro. He can't help but wonder what had changed in his mind between his departure and eventual return. At the same time, he feels the faintest trickle of hope, knowing that eventually, one of them came around.
Hopefully, the same would prove to be true this time, too.]
Would you change any of it, knowing how it ended?
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the smile falls into something contemplative, wistful. there is one thing hakuji had once wanted, even if he had been too scared to ever broach the subject himself. and knowing how it ended...]
As we were, no. But if everything hadn't gone to shit, if we hadn't all been doomed to die... [his voice softens.] ... I think I would've liked to raise kids with you both. I think they would have grown to be wonderful people, thanks to you two.
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I admit, I am still too young to have considered it fully myself. [His laugh is almost sheepish.] At least not beyond the idea of duty and continuing my line. But in a time of peace such as yours?
[A faint smile spreads over his lips.]
I suspect I do not need to tell you that I have always enjoyed tending to those younger than me. Being able to grow and guide them is truly an honor. [And then he pauses, eyes narrowing.] But I must as you not to discount yourself. I suspect your strict morals, never mind your love for those you care for, would have helped guide them as well.
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I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it that time, I swear.
[some things never change. this kyojuro is much like his husband -- especially when he was younger, like this kyojuro is. which means he likely doesn't have as much consideration for himself as he does for others...]
Don't worry, I'll still answer any questions you have, but I've gotta ask -- how are you feeling?
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The question that does get asked takes him by surprise. He supposes he shouldn't be so shocked — if they were married in another life, then surely Hakuji was good at reading him. Nevertheless, it doesn't make it any more easy to talk about.]
Perfectly fine! [Said through a perfect smile.] I admit the evening gave me a bit of a shock, but things have settled amicably enough!
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Well, even though you're fine... if it turns out there is anything you wanna talk about, I don't make a habit of judging you, and I won't be around for very long to go spreading anything.
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It has been... a long few days. And it is difficult to share as much with anyone. You know as well as I do, the role I was expected to play. To give anything less feels wrong. It is a betrayal to my very family and what they have come to expect of me.
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he tilts his head as he mulls these words over.]
... I can't say I speak word for word for Mom [yeah just casually dropping that because he's used to it], but I don't think she'd consider it a "betrayal" if you took some time to look after yourself the same way you do for others.
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Nah, he's just gaping like a fish at him.]
"Mom?" [Give him a moment before he huffs.] Even I never presumed to call her as much. Mother and ma'am were best!
[Don't worry, he sounds awfully fond when he speaks.]
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Maybe you forgot, Mr. Fancypants, but I'm a disrespectful little delinquent.
[the smile quickly softens into something more tender.]
Your father might have turned out very different from the man I knew, but I'd wager your brother feels the same. Obviously, I can't change your mind for you, or force you to believe anything... but maybe it's worth talking about it with the family you still have.
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[Kyojuro's laughter is warm, verging on affectionate, perhaps. He knows that there are differences between Hakuji and Akaza, knows that perhaps he should be wary of being too affectionate on his own part, lest it ever be misconstrued as trying to replace the other man.
But at the same time, this feels right in a way Kyojuro is wary to place.]
Even doing that feels... Wrong. [He makes a face, shakes his head.] But... it is still worth considering. I know that my loved ones would appreciate the effort, difficult though it may be to stomach.
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Forgive me if it isn't my place to say so, but... even if all you do is just consider it, I'm proud of you for even that.
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... Perhaps if opening up would net results like these, it truly would not be so bad.]
I - [He clears his throat.] Thank you, for that kindness.I will do what I can, so as not to disappoint you.
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Do it for yourself, and don't worry about disappointing me. You're already enough for me, just as you are, Kyojuro. I'm sure the same can be said for your family -- even the family that doesn't know it is, yet.
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Well, when in doubt, bluster through it.]
I - will do my best! As I always do.
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As you always do. [his tone is gentle and adoring as he agrees. it's funny, almost, seeing kyojuro so young, and hakuji himself being more than a decade older; it's only funnier that the other man is still taller than he is. they must look a silly pair.]
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He's not used to having it turned around him. And maybe someone is a little touch starved, at least as far as gestures of praise go.]
I - [He clears his throat.] I probably should not keep you! I've already taken up much of your time!
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I'll always make time for you, Kyojuro, but don't let me keep you if you need to get going.
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[He makes sure to stress that. It isn't that Hakuji has done something wrong. Rather, he's... so unused to being the one on the receiving end of kind words. And he still isn't quite sure to put that particular problem into words.]
I will do my best to come and see you again soon. Your company has been... incredibly comforting, I think.
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So has yours. Take care of yourself, alright, Kyojuro?
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When he pulls back, he doesn't dare meet Hakuji's eyes, instead giving him a quick nod before scuttling away.]