The air is cold, the sky dreary. Ever since your return to Aldric’s Grove, the chill in the air is as bitter and sharp as a knife. The scent of stew from the General Store’s windows is comforting, almost as much as the teas Ydalir is handing out if you pass by her tent. Nene puts baskets of her fresh produce on every doorstep or before the doors of people’s rooms in the inn, and Evan and Rillian join her sometimes, the two also handing out sweaters or cloaks. It’s not going to be as bad as last year, but a bitter winter is coming. It’s best to be prepared, isn’t it?
As the winter approaches, plantimals busy themselves to prepare as best they can, too. Pinecone squirrels harvest away nuts while one by one birds move as close to warmth as they can — and that may well just be Sehul and Aurora’s domains. The river water is clear as ever and even colder, with only the blessed trees and bushes still flowering and bearing fruit.
Yet nothing prepares anyone for the green mist, knee-high at the lowest, waist-high at the highest. It smells earthy and grassy, almost floral like a garden,and it pours out of
the research hall.
There’s a chill in the air. Something… strange is happening, yet again.
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sticksandbones2025-11-06 02:45 pm
no subject
Min looks up, clearly caught off guard by the revelation.]
We always knew we wanted to get married one day, but he never asked me. I had no idea he was planning to.
[Much less using the matching inscription that Min-Gi had requested for him. It's hard to believe, but why else would they have found that.]
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[He wiggles his hands a little bit but then settles back in to be more serious.]
I wish I had it on me - it's the one I found, but I've been wearing that one around since we found out who they belonged to. I'd definitely show you it.
[He's not sure if that's right or not for the same reason he asked about it in the first place. It's not his-his to show. But, there's one thing he can share that might be worth it.]
I've never remembered anything from the past the way my Min-Gi did. --oh, he remembered you wanted to propose and that's how we figured it out by the way, I don't know if I actually said that part out loud? But when we first got here and I was alone in our room I felt...this weird feeling that I really REALLY needed to find something, but I'd just gotten here so like. I didn't have stuff to lose? It wouldn't go away though and I like tore the room apart so much it totally looked like we got robbed!
[His Min-Gi was not happy about it. For good reason, of course, but at least he can look back on it now and laugh.]
When I saw the ring though, I was so relieved, even though I'd never seen it before in my life. I knew there was someone I needed to give it to, but...then the weird feeling kind of stopped, and I had someone else's lost wedding ring. Orrrr that's what I thought at the time, anyway.
[It's pretty obviously not that any more. He's tried not to think about it too hard, but knowing who the rings actually belonged to makes it easy to guess why he was so overcome with emotion about it all of a sudden.]
I guess I did remember something, in a weird way?
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I guess you did. If your Min-Gi remembers wanting to propose, then maybe you'll get back that memory properly someday too.
[It's disconcerting to think about someone else having his memories, even if that person is him. He'd been aware it was possible, but having confirmation makes him feel strange. He doesn't sound the most enthusiastic about this Ryan managing to regain memories either, though he does try not to make it too obvious.]
I don't know if it's up to me to give you permission to keep the ring. I don't think we have any use for them now, but...
[There is something he'd like to do that's already long overdue.]
If it's all right with you, I'd like to at least show it to my Ryan.
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Ryan nods though.]
Yeah! Of course, dude. I'm pretty sure if you never gave him it that means you get to make that call. I bet he'd be really happy about it...
[He trails off a little, but he doesn't want to hold onto the thought that's brewing. The ring has felt important to him for a while, but...it's not his. It never was, technically.
So, he just shrugs, nonchalant as can be.]
My Min will just have to get me my own ring if he ever wants to get married.
[Wink!]
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I hope so.
[He knows so, really. Marriage isn't something they've been delaying because they don't want it. it's different for their reincarnations, though, so he errs on the side of caution. Strangely, it does still make him feel a little nervous. Min knows now that he can't afford to wait, but that doesn't mean he doesn't still want to make it special for him.]
I'm sure your Min-Gi will choose something you'll cherish even more than this when you reach that stage in your relationship.
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Hey, can I ask something? ...How did you get so comfortable with your Ryan in the first place?
[After it's out of his mouth he immediately wonders if maybe this is weird to ask him about. But, well. Who would know Min-Gi better than another Min-Gi, right?]
I mean, I know the Grove is way different than our world, but maybe there's something else I'm missing? I wanna help him feel more comfortable about all of this but I have no idea how without being too pushy or, I dunno, impatient?
[Or without pushing him away entirely, deciding that he's not worth the effort of being out of the closet.]
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I always was. From the day I met him, I've always felt comfortable around him. That's never changed for me. Being gay isn't an issue in this world, so I've never had the same fears he does.
[His palm finally closes on the ring, though he doesn't make any move to put it away. He smiles apologetically, knowing it's not useful advice even if he hopes it helps give Ryan confirmation that the issue isn't with him. It's all in what their world has made him.]
Maybe you can ask him before you try anything that will let you be seen as a couple. Start small, like putting your hand on his arm so he can see nothing bad will happen for himself before working up to anything more clearly romantic. For what it's worth, my Ryan always knows how to help me through the things I am scared of. I believe you can find the right balance.
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He holds it in though, or at least tries to. It's not like it changes anything, and it isn't the past Min-Gi's fault. It's a shitty thought and he needs to be less shitty.]
Oh. That's cool for you guys. It, uh. Kinda sucks where we come from? The Grove is totally an upgrade on that front.
[The advice is good, in theory. In practice? Ryan's tried holding his hand when they weren't even attempting to date and Min pulled away so hard because someone might have seen and noticed and thought they were together. It was one time, but it's been hard to forget about, especially when Min-Gi's as uncomfortable as he is about the subject.]
...Yeah. Yeah, okay. Makes sense.
[It makes sense, but that doesn't make it any easier under the circumstances.]
I kind of put it all in his hands, but that's not working. I just wanted him to feel comfortable and take his time! But...I dunno, it's like he thinks it's some big test.
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He can't blame him for feeling a little bitter they've been dealt a tougher hand than their past lives, but they have an opportunity to be happy now. The least he can do for them is try and use the things he's learned about himself over the years to try and help them get there.]
Give him a chance before you dismiss it. I know how hard it is for him is unfair on you, but let him try. It will be easier for him if he knows what to expect.
[Min-Gi softens then, not wanting Ryan to feel as though he's being critical of how he's been handling it. They're both learning, after all. Working out how to be in a relationship together will take time.]
He shouldn't treat it like a test, but that's how we often feel when we're put in a situation we don't feel as though we know what to do in. Give him clues. Trying to let him work everything out on his own will only make him overthink the things he's doing wrong.
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No, I'm the one being unfair. And it's unfair because I know it's hard for him.
[This is all starting to feel like a lot, so Ryan sighs and lays back down again. Looking up at the stars is easier than looking this Min-Gi in the eye as he admits to being garbage.]
I don't want to scare him away, that's all. What if I push him too hard and he decides it's just...too much trouble to go through? Or that I'm asking too much of him, or something?
[If Min-Gi stopped trying now, it would hurt more than if he'd never tried at all. It would mean Min-Gi made an attempt at it and then changed his mind, like so many people have about Ryan. But it's not about him, it's not about him, and he takes a sharp breath to try and steady himself so he doesn't completely fall apart.]
...I just want him to be happy.
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He wants that, too, you know.
[His voice is gentle. Patient. He reaches out to touch his arm, the gesture far less intimate than it would be if this were his own Ryan, but solid enough to make itself known.]
You should tell him how you're feeling. I know it's a difficult conversation, but it's important for him to understand how you're feeling. The last thing he'd want is to make you unhappy.
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I don't even know what I'd say? It feels stupid. I mean...between the two of us, I'm the one who's supposed to have all of this figured out already. I shouldn't be letting the fact that he needs to figure himself out get to me this much!
[But he is, and it sucks. He hates that he's like this, so needy and selfish at the end of the day.]
I-- [Oh, that's embarrassing. His eyes are watering, and he takes a deep breath and tries to blink them back. Stop it, stop it, don't cry right now--] I don't want...I don't want him to just try and make me happy. I want him to want me, and if he's only doing things to make me happy then like, does he want me? Or is he just going through the motions of something he doesn't actually want because he thinks he has to, like with everyone else in his life?
[He wants to be wanted so, so badly. He wants someone to pick him over anyone else and be proud to tell people that they're together, and he wants desperately for that to be Min-Gi, but if he's saying them just because he doesn't want to upset Ryan, then is that really how he feels?]
...Sorry. This is probably way more than you signed up for when you offered to tell constellation stories.
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[Crying isn't the response he'd been hoping for, but Min takes it in his stride. He knows they've both been having a difficult time, trying to navigate something that's a huge deal for them without either having their best friend fully there. His hand moves, slipping into Ryan's and offering a tight squeeze if he's receptive.]
You don't have to know everything already. I won't pretend there isn't a good chance your Min-Gi might think you do, but it may actually make him feel less alone if he realizes you don't.
It's not my place to speculate on his feelings, so I won't, but these are both things you need to talk to him about. Whatever he wants, I'm certain it isn't to make you feel like this.
[He has to hold his tongue to keep himself from speculating further. He's sure that his reincarnation loves Ryan, but it's up to him to tell him that for himself.]
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Maybe you're right. I mean, you're definitely right that I need to talk to him, but...
[He trails off a little. These aren't things he's used to admitting out loud or sober, and frankly he thought he got it out of his system with Luca last month. But it's still hard to voice the other things that he's right about. Like that Min-Gi wouldn't want him to feel like this and would be able to handle hearing it. Or worse, that he really doesn't have to be the one who is totally used to everything as some sort of example to look up to.
It could be any of those things and more, but Ryan sighs and just reiterates.]
...But. Yeah. Maybe you're right.
no subject
Talk to him. No matter what happens, you'll feel better than if you keep holding onto these feelings.
[It seems clear to him that the lack of communication has been hurting both of them, but invested as he is in their success he keeps his tone gentle and patient, not wanting to add to the pressure he can see is already there.]
If it helps, we've always been at our best when we know what the other is thinking. We might not always agree, or even understand, but when we can we've always tried to prioritize what we know is important to each other. Just be sure that when you do you aren't doing it to your own detriment.
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[He's never thought of it like that. Isn't prioritizing Min-Gi the bare minimum of what he should be doing? He should at least be able to handle that much. And it's not like his ex-girlfriends would have ever accused him of caring about them more than his own needs.
But maybe he's been over-correcting?]
...Yeah. Sheesh, we should know better by now? I mean, I know we're just starting out but. We kiiiinda almost ruined our lives before by not talking to each other once?
[How many times do they have to fail to learn the same lesson? If they were on the train their numbers would be spinning at 202 again, he's sure of it. Still, they got them down to zero before. They can do it again.
He does seems to be coming down though, and feeling a little better. He gives the past Min-Gi's hand one last squeeze.]
Thanks. I...think that really helped. The rest probably has to come from my Min-Gi, but--
[He hesitates, already blushing as he weighs whether this is too embarrassing or silly or childish to ask. Ultimately though, he goes for it.]
Before I go figure all that out...can I have one more star story? For the road?
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I don't think your motivations are the same this time. Either of you. You're pulling away because you don't want to pressure him, right? He's freezing up because he's worried he might make a mistake that will lose him you.
It's a similar story, but it's one you know how to change already.
[He believes in you, Ryan! Min smiles, squeezing his hand in return before he lets him pull it free.
It's flattering to be asked to share another story. He has far more than he could ever share in the time they're likely to be here, but that doesn't mean he won't gladly tell him as many as he has chance to. He knows Ryan's favourites, though. At least his own Ryan's. He also knows which might feel most relevant with the things that this Ryan is going through.]
I'm glad you like hearing about the stars. We don't expect you to be exactly the same as us, but it's nice seeing you appreciate the things we enjoy. Should I tell you one we didn't make up this time?
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He nods at the description. That's where they're at, and both of them are scared to lose each other, but it's just like any other time they haven't been on the same page. They need to talk, even if it sucks. They know how to change it, they just...have to do it.]
Sure. Does that mean you have one in mind?
[If he's being totally honest, it isn't about the stars at all. He just enjoys hearing him talk about them. It's kind of soothing, even if he feels a little like he asked him for a bedtime story like a little kid. Ryan is usually the more talkative one between the two, but it's always felt like a treat when he gets Min-Gi going about something. A lot of the time it's a mutual interest, like going back and forth about music opinions, but even if he doesn't know much about the stars it's nice to hear this Min-Gi talk about them.]
no subject
[He'd love to share all of them, but he knows he can't. Min falls silent, deciding on the best one he can end on. He could tell one designed to guide him, but they've already had conversations about that, and the first story had been Min and Ryan's own story. Perhaps it would be nice for him to be able to switch off from that for a while.
He looks across the stars, eventually landing not on a constellation, but a singular star. Bright and large in an otherwise empty spot in the sky.]
That's Polaris. Back home we have a saying.
"No matter where you go, the stars can always guide you home."
But the truth is, you only need one star. It's Polaris who will guide you. It looks as though it's almost directly above Polaris Landing.
Long ago, Polaris brought together many travellers, all with the promise of discovering their perfect home. They trusted it. After all, why wouldn't they believe the word of the brightest star? The travellers came from all over, each having their own tale of how they came to join the group. Some were desperate to escape their pasts, while others sought excitement and adventure. Some of them cared only about finding a place where they could settle.
Diverse as they were, the one thing that united them was Polaris. By day they would rest, or sit around sharing stories of what they would do when they at last reached their destination. By night they followed it, marvelling at its beauty.
When at last they reached the land that Polaris brought them to, they were dismayed. With nothing to be seen for miles but snow and a river so frozen they couldn't see it at first for what it was, how could this be the perfect home Polaris had promised them?
Polaris did not seem upset by their complaints, however. "Patience," it told them. "There are those among you who can build shelter. There are those who know how to dig through the ice and fish. Some of you are skilled in raising children. The more adventurous among you will be able to establish trade with far off places."
No one was happy with its platitudes, but what choice did they have? A blizzard would soon set in, and there was no time to turn back. Two of their quickest were chosen with the task of bringing back supplies after the coming storm had settled. The rest of them set to work building, or gathering what little food they could from the barren land in which they had found themselves.
The following months were tough, but as it turned out the former travellers were even tougher. By the time the snows thawed, at least as much as they ever do so far North, they found the desire to leave had all but gone. Polaris had been clever with who it had chosen. In just a few short months they had built a town that would last far beyond the people who had founded it. True to its word, they had found the perfect home not just for themselves, but for all who chose to follow Polaris from that day on.
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The settlers feel real. He'd be frustrated too, if he followed a star for ages only to find a frozen wasteland to make the best of. At the same time though, they found good in it - not unlike the good he's found in the Grove. Good company can do so much in dire circumstances.
In a weird way, the origins make him feel like he understands their past selves just a little better. He's quiet for a moment after the story ends, absorbing it all.]
...You're a really good storyteller.
[He should have said so after the first story, but now it's the only thing he can think to say. If he could, he'd listen to him tell more star stories for hours.]
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I'm glad you enjoyed it.
[He goes quiet for a moment, gaze drifting back up to the stars.]
We heard a lot of stories growing up. We told a lot. It helped pass time when the nights were too dark for anything else. They mean a lot to me. Just as much as music does.
I'm glad I had the chance to share some with you.