[Since Lodi is returning to business, Kyojuro opts to do the same. He crouches over his own work, doing his best to draw the same sigil he's drawn countless times now. His own form is a little wobbly — he was never much of an artist — but so far no one has complained about his efforts being unworkable.
Judging by the way he laughs, he doesn't seem to be particularly offended by any of what Lodi has to say.]
I understand! You are worried about me, aren't you? What a good friend you are! [Another bout of laughter.] While I do consider myself quite talented, without my breathing techniques, I am woefully incapable of standing up to anything more than the Woodcrawlers!
It's only natural to be worried, given everything going on outside. Honestly, I thought it was bad before but this is something else...
[And the fact it is beyond what a few of the residents had already considered worse than usual does concern him, even if he is trying not to focus on it. It would hardly do any of them any good if he were to start wringing his hands in fearful inaction right now. It's only a pity that he has to keep pausing his own chalkwork to flex his hands...]
Yeah, uh, with all the... stuff falling out of the sky, I'd definitely be worried about. A few different things if you went out there. Hopefully this is just the climactic moment and everything will... I don't know. Return to normal? Be less consistently awful?
[Teasing though Kyojuro's tone had only just been, his face lapses into something much more serious.]
It is indeed a very grave situation. And one I can only imagine looks particularly treacherous, given your recent arrival!
[At least Kyojuro had a few happier memories interspersed with the nightmares of this reality. It doesn't change how dire the situation is, but at least he knew that perhaps there would be something slightly less awful to look forward to in the coming weeks.
The same could not be said for Lodi.]
No matter what happens, we will manage to get through it. At least that much I know. Those fighting outside would not dare to fall and leave us to ruin.
You've got that right. It's been a little difficult to keep up with it all, but... it's also one of those situations where you don't have time to sit and ruminate on it, right? You have to keep going, regardless of whether you want to sit back and try to gauge the scope of things or not.
[And he does believe Kyojuro's optimism, regardless of how things look now. What he doesn't know is how to reconcile with the state of the sky outside. Was that truly something that could just be... undone? After a moment, Lodi glances over his shoulder in the direction of the nearest window.]
I'll take your word for it. It's a bit harder to know what the after will look like, given... well, all of it.
[Kyojuro keeps right on nodding, clearly in agreement with Lodi's words. They hearken back to some of his own. No wonder he'd become such fast friends with the other man.]
Remembering to hold your head high and keep moving is one of the most important things you can do. It is also one of the most challenging.
[As another circle is finished, Kyojuro just so happens to catch Lodi's gaze. He might not be able to read his companion's mind, but he can make a few guesses as to how troubled those thoughts might be.]
What if I told you about some of those things? The better ones, I mean!
[A small, insidious part of him near immediately rebels at the notion of needing to be mollified. The larger, logical part of him knows that Kyojuro is trying to help him, having surely taken notice of his uncertainty. The fact he is being so obvious about it rankles him in equal measure. If resources were being diverted to calm his nerves, they were being diverted from a grander, more important purpose. In this instance, that was their duty to maintain the wards.
He doesn't want to be the reason for their efforts faltering. He also sorely does not want to overtax Kyojuro, who had evidently shouldered the concept of acting as his protector.
Lodi breathes out through his nose.]
Sure, that sounds good. I could use the positivity.
[Ever oblivious to the way his words seem to irritate Lodi, Kyojuro simply smiles on. Though his eyes remain locked on the task at hand, he's done it enough times now to have the motions memorized. It makes it easier for his mind to wander back to the divine realm.]
Before these creatures arrived, we found ourselves in the divine realm. It was like being amongst the stars themselves! Of course, I was a bit startled at first. My partner is a bit... sensitive when it comes to the sun, and it seemed as if he might have been in danger. But all was well!
[He hums out a light laugh.]
The gardens were bountiful. I do not think I had ever seen so many colors. And the forest was lively and safe. I cannot recall the last time I was able to run through trees without worrying what might be lurking within!
[It is less irritation and more... frustration. Still, as it turns out, discussing something other than how utterly dreadful it is outside does serve to soothe his nerves somewhat. As he works, he envisions what it must have been like. A part of him wonders if he would be able to envision such a thing through his Sight if it were not for the current dampening effect... not that it had stopped it earlier.
That is something he is still wondering about. A divine realm... could those figures he had seen casting be the Goddesses that he had heard so much about as of late?]
It sounds beautiful. It almost feels cruel, to experience that and then this immediately after. Were you transported there, or did it simply... will itself into being, this divine realm?
Unfortunately, that seems to be the nature of this place! Suffering and peace, back and forth!
[It's been his experience so far, at least, but he would be the first to admit that own time had been limited. Some part of him does wonder if that, too, is part of the torture they are meant to receive. To be pushed to the brink, offered salvation, and then pushed all the more.
Surely it would drive a weaker soul to madness.]
Transported, as it were! They were quite apologetic for the abruptness! I imagine it was no less abrupt that those who found themselves dropped here consciously!
[He can't relate. He just up and woke up, mostly patched together. Sucks to suck, Lodi!]
In a way, I guess anything else would be unrealistic. And if the not-god not-divinity of this place really intends on putting us through the wringer for their own amusement, it wouldn’t make much sense to just have people sit around twiddling their thumbs. And what better way to make the stress more acute than to give them times of peace? It’s a cruel way of going about it, but I’m guessing that’s the point.
[Lodi glances over at Kyojuro with a faint smile. For some inane reason, it grows the more he thinks about that comment. It gets to the point where his nose is ever so slightly wrinkled from the size of his grin.]
Are you saying you were dropped here, unconscious, like a sack of potatoes? I was under the impression that most people were sort of, uh, plucked up from wheresoever they were at the time and had to endure possibly the worst motion sickness of all time being deposited here. I have to imagine that was jarring if you weren’t already used to the sensation.
[Lodi hammers home the point well enough that Kyojuro can only nod. Given it's into the first time he's experienced that logic, it had been exact conclusion on the matter. Still, he thinks the demon on the Mugen Train pales in comparison to the monster they had come to live with.
Given that sobering note, he is almost surprised when he glances up and finds Lodi grinning away. His head tilts one way, then the other, before he finds himself tittering out an almost nervous, certainly confused laugh.]
Well, considering the fact that I was already dead, I did not have to deal with any sort of movement! I simply woke up, alive and confused!
[ Oh, shit. Had he forgotten that important factor of Kyojuro’s arrival here? Had he been told this already? Lodi’s expression morphs so quickly from halfhearted amusement at the idea to, like, the equivalent of abject horror at his thoughtlessness. He pushes his glasses halfway up his head as he buries his face in his hands and… also gets chalk all over his face. Oh, man. ]
I’m so sorry. Did you tell me that already? Jesus. I wasn’t trying to be heartless, I promise. Between you and me, I’m starting to think this is all starting to wear on my sanity a little bit. I really wasn't trying to laugh at you. The whole situation we've found ourselves in is just a little... ridiculous.
[ His voice is muffled by the fact he's burying his face in that much more. ]
[To his credit, Kyojuro only laughs. It isn't a sinister or mocking sound, but rather genuine mirth. Someone seems to be taking the impact of his death relatively lightly. He also doesn't seem to hold it against Lodi.]
We have been through a great deal since your arrival, my friend! It does not surprise me that it might have slipped your mind. I also prefer to not think of such dark and terrible things! [His laughter tapers off.] I made my peace with it, and can only hope others will be inspired to do the same.
I almost feel worse that you’re forgiving me so quickly for the faux pas. I really feel like I've done nothing but stick my foot in my mouth since you swept in when I first arrived.
[ Lodi sighs, faintly, rubbing his hands on the front of his robe again in a faintly self-soothing motion. ]
I just… gosh. I don’t know. I struggle to imagine what it must’ve been like. Haven’t you ever felt… frustrated with the idea? Has it really only ever felt like a second chance?
I can assure you, I have likely said far worse in my days!
[Buddy that's not something to be proud of???
Though Lodi fusses, Kyojuro smiles. It's a softer expression than that of his earlier grin, one that's gentle and at peace. He holds that look as he reaches out, placing a hand against Lodi's shoulder.]
But no, I have not. When I died, I did so knowing that I had successfully protected some two hundred passengers of a train, not to mention my juniors. And I have always known it was likely I would die in the line of duty. I have had many foes, but death was never one of them.
That I am here is something of a miracle. Though I am well-aware of the dangers we find ourselves in, it is no different than what I have faced before. And though I am not happy that others from my home have shared the same fate, it is also a comfort to not be here alone, too.
I – you know what, thank you. I… really, though, I am sorry. Regardless of whether you have said or heard worse, I still want to apologize.
[ The weight of that contact, the warmth of that hand on his shoulder, comes as such a surprising spot of comfort that Lodi layers Kyojuro's hand with his own out of pure instinct. In a distant way, being comforted by a man surely a decade his junior feels a little strange. A little silly, even. But if there is one thing that Lodi has learned, both in his previous time and this one, is that the depth of one's experience could afford them a level of wisdom at a younger age that few in more mundane existences could ever have.
In a larger way, he feels sorry that Kyojuro has been forced to grapple with it all. To understand such a complex concept at his age.
Abruptly stricken, Lodi finds himself squeezing Kyojuro's hand with his own. Not nearly hard enough to hurt, never, but enough to preempt an emotion he cannot quite immediately put into words. If there was one thing that Lodi understood deeply, wretchedly, to his core, it was that all those dedicated to service in the way that he had been, that Kyojuro had been, understood that it was always a sacrifice.
Few met that sacrifice with such grace.
Lodi shakes his head. When he can summon his voice, it is quiet, heartfelt. ]
Mr. Rengoku, you are a remarkably good man. Regardless of everything else, I have to stress that. We've only really just met, but – I'm so, so glad that I got the opportunity to count you among one of the first people I've gotten to know here. I don't doubt at all that what you say is true, because, really, few would have such conviction after weathering something so awful, but… if there is ever a time where you feel yourself wavering on that conviction, please, feel like you can come talk to me. I may not understand all the details, but… I at least know what it's like to be a soldier. We can compare notes, so to speak.
[The sudden reciprocation is enough to take Kyojuro by surprise, and the words that follow almost leave him on the back foot. He had heard such sentiments before, but never from someone so new to him. Usually, the senitiment was one expressed by his colleagues, ones who had shared similar burdens as he.
It makes him wonder about Lodi's own background — at least for a moment. Any suspicions he might have had are immediately confirmed by the other man's own mouth, though. In the end, he finds himself bowing his head in solidarity.]
I would say that I am sorry that you know how it feels, but I doubt you would accept that! [Said with a gentle huff of a laugh.] Still, I appreciate that you understand. You should rest assured, though, that my conviction has never once wavered, and I doubt it ever will!
[When he laughs again this time, it is a far more booming sound. With all of his promises, he knows he cannot allow himself to falter in the wake of what must be done. Especially when he has deviated so grievously when it came to what must be done.
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Judging by the way he laughs, he doesn't seem to be particularly offended by any of what Lodi has to say.]
I understand! You are worried about me, aren't you? What a good friend you are! [Another bout of laughter.] While I do consider myself quite talented, without my breathing techniques, I am woefully incapable of standing up to anything more than the Woodcrawlers!
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[And the fact it is beyond what a few of the residents had already considered worse than usual does concern him, even if he is trying not to focus on it. It would hardly do any of them any good if he were to start wringing his hands in fearful inaction right now. It's only a pity that he has to keep pausing his own chalkwork to flex his hands...]
Yeah, uh, with all the... stuff falling out of the sky, I'd definitely be worried about. A few different things if you went out there. Hopefully this is just the climactic moment and everything will... I don't know. Return to normal? Be less consistently awful?
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It is indeed a very grave situation. And one I can only imagine looks particularly treacherous, given your recent arrival!
[At least Kyojuro had a few happier memories interspersed with the nightmares of this reality. It doesn't change how dire the situation is, but at least he knew that perhaps there would be something slightly less awful to look forward to in the coming weeks.
The same could not be said for Lodi.]
No matter what happens, we will manage to get through it. At least that much I know. Those fighting outside would not dare to fall and leave us to ruin.
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[And he does believe Kyojuro's optimism, regardless of how things look now. What he doesn't know is how to reconcile with the state of the sky outside. Was that truly something that could just be... undone? After a moment, Lodi glances over his shoulder in the direction of the nearest window.]
I'll take your word for it. It's a bit harder to know what the after will look like, given... well, all of it.
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Remembering to hold your head high and keep moving is one of the most important things you can do. It is also one of the most challenging.
[As another circle is finished, Kyojuro just so happens to catch Lodi's gaze. He might not be able to read his companion's mind, but he can make a few guesses as to how troubled those thoughts might be.]
What if I told you about some of those things? The better ones, I mean!
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He doesn't want to be the reason for their efforts faltering. He also sorely does not want to overtax Kyojuro, who had evidently shouldered the concept of acting as his protector.
Lodi breathes out through his nose.]
Sure, that sounds good. I could use the positivity.
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Before these creatures arrived, we found ourselves in the divine realm. It was like being amongst the stars themselves! Of course, I was a bit startled at first. My partner is a bit... sensitive when it comes to the sun, and it seemed as if he might have been in danger. But all was well!
[He hums out a light laugh.]
The gardens were bountiful. I do not think I had ever seen so many colors. And the forest was lively and safe. I cannot recall the last time I was able to run through trees without worrying what might be lurking within!
no subject
That is something he is still wondering about. A divine realm... could those figures he had seen casting be the Goddesses that he had heard so much about as of late?]
It sounds beautiful. It almost feels cruel, to experience that and then this immediately after. Were you transported there, or did it simply... will itself into being, this divine realm?
no subject
[It's been his experience so far, at least, but he would be the first to admit that own time had been limited. Some part of him does wonder if that, too, is part of the torture they are meant to receive. To be pushed to the brink, offered salvation, and then pushed all the more.
Surely it would drive a weaker soul to madness.]
Transported, as it were! They were quite apologetic for the abruptness! I imagine it was no less abrupt that those who found themselves dropped here consciously!
[He can't relate. He just up and woke up, mostly patched together. Sucks to suck, Lodi!]
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[Lodi glances over at Kyojuro with a faint smile. For some inane reason, it grows the more he thinks about that comment. It gets to the point where his nose is ever so slightly wrinkled from the size of his grin.]
Are you saying you were dropped here, unconscious, like a sack of potatoes? I was under the impression that most people were sort of, uh, plucked up from wheresoever they were at the time and had to endure possibly the worst motion sickness of all time being deposited here. I have to imagine that was jarring if you weren’t already used to the sensation.
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Given that sobering note, he is almost surprised when he glances up and finds Lodi grinning away. His head tilts one way, then the other, before he finds himself tittering out an almost nervous, certainly confused laugh.]
Well, considering the fact that I was already dead, I did not have to deal with any sort of movement! I simply woke up, alive and confused!
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I’m so sorry. Did you tell me that already? Jesus. I wasn’t trying to be heartless, I promise. Between you and me, I’m starting to think this is all starting to wear on my sanity a little bit. I really wasn't trying to laugh at you. The whole situation we've found ourselves in is just a little... ridiculous.
[ His voice is muffled by the fact he's burying his face in that much more. ]
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We have been through a great deal since your arrival, my friend! It does not surprise me that it might have slipped your mind. I also prefer to not think of such dark and terrible things! [His laughter tapers off.] I made my peace with it, and can only hope others will be inspired to do the same.
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[ Lodi sighs, faintly, rubbing his hands on the front of his robe again in a faintly self-soothing motion. ]
I just… gosh. I don’t know. I struggle to imagine what it must’ve been like. Haven’t you ever felt… frustrated with the idea? Has it really only ever felt like a second chance?
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[Buddy that's not something to be proud of???
Though Lodi fusses, Kyojuro smiles. It's a softer expression than that of his earlier grin, one that's gentle and at peace. He holds that look as he reaches out, placing a hand against Lodi's shoulder.]
But no, I have not. When I died, I did so knowing that I had successfully protected some two hundred passengers of a train, not to mention my juniors. And I have always known it was likely I would die in the line of duty. I have had many foes, but death was never one of them.
That I am here is something of a miracle. Though I am well-aware of the dangers we find ourselves in, it is no different than what I have faced before. And though I am not happy that others from my home have shared the same fate, it is also a comfort to not be here alone, too.
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[ The weight of that contact, the warmth of that hand on his shoulder, comes as such a surprising spot of comfort that Lodi layers Kyojuro's hand with his own out of pure instinct. In a distant way, being comforted by a man surely a decade his junior feels a little strange. A little silly, even. But if there is one thing that Lodi has learned, both in his previous time and this one, is that the depth of one's experience could afford them a level of wisdom at a younger age that few in more mundane existences could ever have.
In a larger way, he feels sorry that Kyojuro has been forced to grapple with it all. To understand such a complex concept at his age.
Abruptly stricken, Lodi finds himself squeezing Kyojuro's hand with his own. Not nearly hard enough to hurt, never, but enough to preempt an emotion he cannot quite immediately put into words. If there was one thing that Lodi understood deeply, wretchedly, to his core, it was that all those dedicated to service in the way that he had been, that Kyojuro had been, understood that it was always a sacrifice.
Few met that sacrifice with such grace.
Lodi shakes his head. When he can summon his voice, it is quiet, heartfelt. ]
Mr. Rengoku, you are a remarkably good man. Regardless of everything else, I have to stress that. We've only really just met, but – I'm so, so glad that I got the opportunity to count you among one of the first people I've gotten to know here. I don't doubt at all that what you say is true, because, really, few would have such conviction after weathering something so awful, but… if there is ever a time where you feel yourself wavering on that conviction, please, feel like you can come talk to me. I may not understand all the details, but… I at least know what it's like to be a soldier. We can compare notes, so to speak.
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It makes him wonder about Lodi's own background — at least for a moment. Any suspicions he might have had are immediately confirmed by the other man's own mouth, though. In the end, he finds himself bowing his head in solidarity.]
I would say that I am sorry that you know how it feels, but I doubt you would accept that! [Said with a gentle huff of a laugh.] Still, I appreciate that you understand. You should rest assured, though, that my conviction has never once wavered, and I doubt it ever will!
[When he laughs again this time, it is a far more booming sound. With all of his promises, he knows he cannot allow himself to falter in the wake of what must be done. Especially when he has deviated so grievously when it came to what must be done.
Akaza was evidence enough of that.]