sticksandbones

🤡

Who: Allen + You!
What: Holy clown boy coming to a Grove near you!
When: Beginning of March
Where: ??? Around
Warnings: None yet, will be in headers as the pop up.

I. I've tasted all your sin (Forest entrance)

[ There is, perhaps, not a single person who would say arriving in the Grove isn't jarring. Some woke up here from their own slumber back home, and that is perhaps the smoothest transition you can get, even even that has yet to be graceful. For Allen, one moment he's holding the hand of his friend, trying to wake him up from what he could only assume was a horrific coma, and then next he's... here. His hand clasps in on itself, and he's suddenly looking around in a panic. He knew that the place he'd ended up may very well kick him out of his consciousness. May lend just the right amount of strength for Nea to pull him out of the "driver's seat", so to speak, but... is that what's happening now? Now, when he was so close to saving his friend?

No.

No, no, no.

The panic sets in as he darts from out of the trees, attempting to look for something, anything that might help him figure out how to get back. It's once he gets into the Grove proper that his eye activates. He has his own questions about that - if he's not in control, where is that coming from? What would his eye see... in his own head? Before he can ponder it for too long, he at least gets one of his answers. What does his eye see? Well.

Death.

It's the first time Allen's seeing souls not attached to something else, but Allen doesn't have time to process that part. Rather, he is trying to remember how to breathe again, because as of now, seeing the horrible visions in front of him - death of his friends, of those he loves, of a fire that isn't really there - all has the air he's trying to get out caught in his throat. It's only once his eye deactivates, the sclera turning from black to white and the red of his eye back to a silvery gray, does he finally have some kind of reprieve from the overwhelm. It's not much. The panic has only gotten worse, after all.

He falls to his knees, gasping for air as if he'd been held underwater for too long. ]

II. You've lost your appetite (for sacrifice) (Timcanpy, the Inn)

[ Timcanpy is a little golden golem. He is here! He isn't sure why he's here, but he is! How exciting! He's gonna...! He's...!!!

...

Where is this!!!!!!!!!! He is going to float out of the inn room he Spawned(tm) in and??? chew on the first person he sees. Hello. ]

III. How can we terminate this parasite (Around the Grove)

[ Fortunately, although the panic attack hits Allen like a train, the fact that he's so fucking hungry does as well. Which means... this is definitely his body. He's not stuck in his head. That's?? Good. Probably. Well, it's not good that he doesn't know where he is, but it's good he's still Him. Does this make sense? No. It doesn't. Fuck, he's SO hungry-

He will very hastily try to find the first person he can and catch their attention with a friendly wave of his normal-looking hand, and in a thick, British accent: ] Cheers! Uh, I have a lot of questions, but... most important, do you know where a bloke might find some food? Preferably, a lot of it?

...

Oh, also, what is that? [ He's, uh, pointing at Moder. ]

IV. If you keep digging up the Host? (Wildcard)
HMU if you wanna do something else pls I have such a strong muse for my baby boy I'm gonna be SO annoying-

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[ When Allen speaks next, he's not looking at Kanda or Link. He's just talking to the wall between the two of them. He does breathe in a deeply before he starts, like he's trying so very hard to not dig into his emotions about this.

In turn, he just dissociates. ]

I came out of the forest, and my eye flared up. Everything overlapped - like it usually does with my eye, but in one side I saw the town was on fire. And there were corpses all flung about, murdered in various ways. Lenalee, Miranda, and Link were all dead close to the store, while Kanda, Alma and Marie had their throats slit by the well. Reever, Komui and Johnny died together by the lab. Krory was pinned to a wall, and, hard to tell if it was him, but, I think Lavi was close by?

And then my eye stopped reacting and that's when Kanda found me.

[Compared to Allen and Link, Kanda gave next to no context as to what "I saw Alma" even meant, but he doesn't have to ask to assume it was much the same. People they care about, dead, dying, or presumed dead in some horrible fashion. Something specific to each one of them that would elicit the most amount of suffering possible.

Link's eyes fall closed as he looks down towards the floor for a moment.]

I understand that it's difficult to recount, but it gives us valuable information to know. It lends credence to the theory that this entity is forcing us to see things that would make us feel a certain kind of way, particularly if he feeds off pain and suffering.

It isn't a premonition. It's a hypothetical. ...a threat and a warning.

[Yikes. Kanda manages to look mayyybe a little bit sympathetic, if he could, y'know, stop frowning for long enough to pull the whole expression together. He sure did find Allen after that... no fucking wonder. He winces, then looks away off at the other side of the door frame. The one he isn't leaning against, you know.]

No fucking wonder.

["That you were a wreck" goes unspoken.]

Hypothetical... how. [Next, he speaks without really wanting to, grinding his teeth for a moment before his fingers dig into the edges of his jacket.] A threat that others are going to be brought here? Did everyone look as both of you remember? Nothing strange?

Alma didn't look how he did when I last saw him. He looked around our age, and normal.

[ Allen just smiles and tilts his head in a way where the "in what world do you want me to examine corpses and tell you what was different about them?" goes unspoken. ]

Didn't think to check!

[ Sorry for the sass, he's not doing great. ]

[Link tries to think back. He didn't have to view their corpses, at the very least...he's already seen them transform horrifically, so he didn't need more fridge horror to process.]

They honestly seemed...normal. It was difficult to tell if they were as they were before they became thirds, but...I couldn't see anything out of the ordinary with them. I don't know what to make of it, myself.

[Great. Odd man out here. UhhhhhHhHHhhh anywayyyyyy—]

I guess I shouldn't be shocked if this thing is trying to dig at us, then.

Fine, what else do we have to talk about? You've all seen the woman made of shadows, right? The... moose-thing? [What the fuck do you even CALL Moder, help.] There's the fog wall keeping us in, and I heard that there's a second one somewhere out at sea, though I couldn't reasonably look at it myself.

I did say I needed to talk with Link about what happened at Zoogle! We've already talked about proper maddening things right now, so I might as well knock that out of the way! You don't have to stick around, Kanda.

[ He has to talk to you fucking later, anyway. He would do so now, if saying, haha Kanda let's go do [EXCUSE] that doesn't include Link! So. Obviously the ideal is to let Link sit with Allen's demons while he actively gets worse in real time. ]

Assuming you're ready for that! I do have to warn you, I will be talking about Apocryphos more. I really don't hope that shakes your faith at all.

[Allen you KNOW Kanda is going to stick around solely because you phrased it like that, right?]

I will be fine. There’s no use in putting it off, and I want all of the information you can give me so we can better plan how to proceed going forward.

[ He's giving him the out! You know! Just in case! He waits a moment and looks to Kanda for any sign of "no I don't wanna do this again," before Allen shifts himself to sit at the kitchen table. He doesn't super wanna stand for this. ]

So. You heard about Lavi, about the former Lavi, I mean. I know you were there for that part. But... Allen - the "Allen" I used to be - he... just sort of... let Nea be part of him. It was transactional, as far as I could tell. But... then he ran into Apocryphos, who obviously wanted Nea dead, and tried to kill Allen. Or, no, it was worse than that. He tried to make it so that Allen didn't exist. It's why... it's how "I" ended up being made. Apocryphos deteriorated his soul, and Lavi saved me. It ended up stitching our souls together so Allen could keep living.

Apocryphos saw me as a miracle. A suitable offering to "the Heart". He just needed to "test me". So he took Allen's memories, and he made me.

...

I think... the worst part is... I still feel detached from Allen. I saw his memories, and I thought maybe I would figure out who I was, but it just felt like I was watching a play, and that I was told to put myself in the main character's shoes.

And... it feels especially bad, because Lavi so desperately wanted "Allen" to keep living. But I don't think he did.

[Allen: I hope this doesn’t shake your faith
Link, who is already having an existential crisis as it is much less with his faith:

Link had taken a seat at the table as well, his hands steepled in front of his mouth. You know the pose. He sits like that listening intently, his brows furrowing the more Allen goes on to explain.

He already feels like his identity is molded parts of what other people want him to be. He can’t imagine what Allen must be going through right now. To learn that the “you” that you are was never even supposed to exist is sobering. Especially when he was ultimately made for such a cruel purpose. A cruel end…or at least, that’s what had been intended.

He exhales slowly, trying to measure his words in his mind before saying anything.]

It’s frightening, the kind of power Apocryphos wields.

[He could very easily rewrite any one of them at any time. It feels like they’re being toyed with, for a higher purpose. Nothing about it feels divine, or right.

His hands drop back down to the table, fingers tightening into fists.]

It makes sense now, why he’s been trying to assimilate with you by any means necessary.

[ He’s fine. Allen is mentally very sound. He stares at the table now as he continues to speak. ]

It does. But in return for one thing making sense, we have a bloody dozen more behind it. Like some kind of questions hydra.

He spoke about the heart like… firstly, needed to be fed. Already concerning enough, but also he talked about the heart like… like either he is it — though his verbiage leads me to believe that’s less likely — or… that it isn’t any one thing, like the Order and the Noah assume it is.

[What the fuck Beansprout you didn't tell him about Apocreep—]

If he's yapping about feeding you "to" the Heart, it makes me think the Heart is something else we don't understand. For the longest time, Komui thought you were the Heart, since your Innocence was destroyed and reformed itself. Then, it was Lenalee after she was trapped in that crystal by her own Innocence, and after the Dark Boots became Crystal-type. But Mugen is, too, so that throws a wrench into it.

The Heart has to be something else, and the Order and Central are missing whatever it is, and maybe that's the goal. I doubt Apocryphos would share what "it" actually is with even the highest-ranking agents. That, or a very select few people — maybe Lvellie, maybe Cross — know about it already.

[Kanda bonks his head back against the door frame. God.]

What a fucking nightmare. No one besides me can heal off the memory manipulation that thing does, so if it gets its hands on anyone else — either of you, anyone from the Order that tries to help, random people, whatever — there's nothing to be done. That's where half the risk is coming from, not to mention the damn thing doesn't fucking die after you break its neck.

[Ask him how he knows—]

[Link is white as Kanda talks. He’s silent as the grave, actually, having brought his fingers to his lips again. He’s sort of…staring off into space, at something that isn’t there.

Someone that isn’t there.

He remembers Lvellie’s urgency. He’s never seen the man quite like it. Yes, he’s often brash, abrasive, and a little overbearing…but the way he spoke about the Fourteenth was different. Link has. no doubt in his mind that the man knows something he doesn’t. Maybe something he’s keeping from him deliberately.

And not having all of the facts in a situation where their memories could be tampered with is horrifying to think about.]

…I think Kanda is right. Whatever…or whoever the Heart is, it’s completely different from anything we think we know.

...Unfortunately, I feel like in learning more about myself, I've somehow learned less about the other things we have to worry about.

[ He stares at his own Innocence'd hand. ]

This is technically... from him. It makes sense, if he's pure Innocence. But if that's the case, then why does it seem so intent on saving me when I don't ask it to? Fixing my heart, activating when I'm not conscious, doesn't that all seem a bit much if he's just going to... kill me anyway?

[ He squeezes his hand shut. ]

Really feels like someone's just takin' the piss, innit?

I had similar thoughts when you were collapsed under the bridge. Even the wound from Mugen was acting similar.

[He sighs.]

Listen, Beansprout. There's something else I need you to know while we digest all of this. [...] Tiedoll and I found Mana's grave. The only thing in it was the paper flower you buried him with.

...

Sorry. I don't have anything else that I can tell you, since that's the last thing I remember before arriving here.

[Haha! Surely that's not going to be taken poorly.

Link, of course, doesn't have the full story of Mana in the way Kanda does, but...even so. He knows by the way he says that that the news he gives may not be easy for Allen to hear.

So, for now, he'll keep his silence and listen, gaze shifting from Kanda to Allen.]

[ Allen drops his head on the table with the loudest, audible

THUNK! ]

Edited 2026-03-11 23:07 (UTC)

[ And then he lays there. Quiet, for a while. Not sobbing, not angry, just.

There.

After a while, he speaks up: ] Yeah.

That sounds about right.

[ His voice isn't shaky or sad. Just kind of... flat. And tired. ]

If Apocryphos bloody stalked me as a child like that, I'm sure half my childhood memories aren't actually even real. So that's...

[ He puts his hands over his head, squeezing his arms at the sides. ]

Is this Hell? Am I in Hell?

Maybe. At least you're not alone.

[This is his one (1) set of wise and conciliatory words for the year. He thinks to himself that maybe he could make Allen tea or something until he realises that they have to grocery shop and frowns, then decides instead to leave his spot in the doorway finally so he can pull his chair out sideways and sit with the back of it against his left side.

Because you know. Straight people use chairs like this.]

We'll figure out how to kill the unkillable. Easy enough. [This is DEEPLY sarcastic and stated in Kanda's usual flat tone.]

[Sarcasm or no...Kanda might actually be on to something, even if Link himself was on the frightening end of nearly getting killed by Apocryphos himself.]

I don't think he's unkillable. [A bold statement to make, he knows. But they also thought the same about Tim, didn't they?] We just don't have all of the pieces to the puzzle, yet. That's why it feels like we're at a constant disadvantage.

If Innocence can be destroyed, then we have to believe that Apocryphos can too. It's just not going to be easy.

[Then he pauses, trying to think of his next words carefully since...he doesn't feel much like he has any right to speak on this, but.]

Having your memories fabricated is an awful, terrifying thing. But...just because your beginning isn't what you thought it was, I don't think you should discount the way you spent your life afterwards. What purpose would Apocryphos have, manufacturing every single moment? If it were that simple, he could have just molded you into the exact person he thought was the most suitable. A perfect offering.

You're still Allen.

[ Allen keeps his head down for a while, occasionally making noises of discontent when he's trying to acknowledge that Kanda and Link are being hear, but Allen just doesn't have an answer.

... "You're still Allen" makes him lift his head, though. He gives Link a very soft smile. It's tired, but... genuine, at least. ]

...Thanks. [ And that does truly mean a lot coming from Link, who isn't supposed to be here. Who isn't supposed to care about "Allen". He looks back between the both of them ] I don't know about... all of this other stuff. The former Lavi mentioned something about the Helix that Apocryphos like... seemed to... fear? Or revere? Or something? I didn't quite understand it, though, but... Maybe our Lavi might know something? Once we get home.

And... we should focus on that! Getting home. Because there's a lot of stuff we need to do here before we can start worrying about going back to our world and getting things sorted, and we have to figure out how to do this in such a way that we're not gonna end up getting dragged back here again, and-

[ And suddenly, Allen shoots upright, hands slammed on the table as the chair he was sitting in tips backwards and slams as it hits the floor. ]

Bloody Hell!

I bought a fucking house?!

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Allen Walker asked me if he bought us a house an hour after buying the house and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight.

...did you just fucking realise?

[You're so stupid ~~he wants you so bad~~ how is any one person this fucking dumb.]

I thought that was for a reason? You know, so that we didn't have to live at the inn forever? Not that all of us aren't used to it, but it's a nice change of pace from the usual, especially being on the run as we were.

...you also bought the house with rocks. Which is apparently something you can do, here? So it's not that big of an investment, to be fair.

🤡

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