sticksandbones

🤡

Who: Allen + You!
What: Holy clown boy coming to a Grove near you!
When: Beginning of March
Where: ??? Around
Warnings: None yet, will be in headers as the pop up.

I. I've tasted all your sin (Forest entrance)

[ There is, perhaps, not a single person who would say arriving in the Grove isn't jarring. Some woke up here from their own slumber back home, and that is perhaps the smoothest transition you can get, even even that has yet to be graceful. For Allen, one moment he's holding the hand of his friend, trying to wake him up from what he could only assume was a horrific coma, and then next he's... here. His hand clasps in on itself, and he's suddenly looking around in a panic. He knew that the place he'd ended up may very well kick him out of his consciousness. May lend just the right amount of strength for Nea to pull him out of the "driver's seat", so to speak, but... is that what's happening now? Now, when he was so close to saving his friend?

No.

No, no, no.

The panic sets in as he darts from out of the trees, attempting to look for something, anything that might help him figure out how to get back. It's once he gets into the Grove proper that his eye activates. He has his own questions about that - if he's not in control, where is that coming from? What would his eye see... in his own head? Before he can ponder it for too long, he at least gets one of his answers. What does his eye see? Well.

Death.

It's the first time Allen's seeing souls not attached to something else, but Allen doesn't have time to process that part. Rather, he is trying to remember how to breathe again, because as of now, seeing the horrible visions in front of him - death of his friends, of those he loves, of a fire that isn't really there - all has the air he's trying to get out caught in his throat. It's only once his eye deactivates, the sclera turning from black to white and the red of his eye back to a silvery gray, does he finally have some kind of reprieve from the overwhelm. It's not much. The panic has only gotten worse, after all.

He falls to his knees, gasping for air as if he'd been held underwater for too long. ]

II. You've lost your appetite (for sacrifice) (Timcanpy, the Inn)

[ Timcanpy is a little golden golem. He is here! He isn't sure why he's here, but he is! How exciting! He's gonna...! He's...!!!

...

Where is this!!!!!!!!!! He is going to float out of the inn room he Spawned(tm) in and??? chew on the first person he sees. Hello. ]

III. How can we terminate this parasite (Around the Grove)

[ Fortunately, although the panic attack hits Allen like a train, the fact that he's so fucking hungry does as well. Which means... this is definitely his body. He's not stuck in his head. That's?? Good. Probably. Well, it's not good that he doesn't know where he is, but it's good he's still Him. Does this make sense? No. It doesn't. Fuck, he's SO hungry-

He will very hastily try to find the first person he can and catch their attention with a friendly wave of his normal-looking hand, and in a thick, British accent: ] Cheers! Uh, I have a lot of questions, but... most important, do you know where a bloke might find some food? Preferably, a lot of it?

...

Oh, also, what is that? [ He's, uh, pointing at Moder. ]

IV. If you keep digging up the Host? (Wildcard)
HMU if you wanna do something else pls I have such a strong muse for my baby boy I'm gonna be SO annoying-

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[ Allen is a mature adult. Allen is over being childish. Allen can do adult things and has witnessed the memories of his past life and therefore knows he's supposed to be older and more mature than he actually is.

Anyway, he grabs some dirt from a nearby unplanted pot and chucks it directly at Kanda. ]

[The dirt hits his back slash upper shoulder region because he just so happened to twist around at the last second to grab a trowel.

He turns to look over at Allen. Scoops some soil into the trowel.

Puts his fingers on the edge of it and flicks the soil at Allen like a trebuchet. Whee :) ]

[ He manages to get out of the way of the bulk of it, but his face still gets a good chunk, and a lot of it clings to his hair thanks to how damp the humidifiers have made everything. ]

You do not want to be in this war, you won't win! Maria!

[ She puts down the basket and watering can so she can make her way over to the boys fighting, while Allen picks up a pot. ]

What do you mean I'm that big! I'm not THAT much shorter than you!

[Kanda is still holding this trowel and has armed another scoop of soil.]

You're [he pinches his fingers,] this fucking big. And you'll always be this big.

[Kanda you have grown a single inch in the last year, Allen has shot up about 6. My dude you are so cooked he's Going to be taller than you.]

I’ve quite literally grown!!! What the bloody hell are you talking about!!!

[ And he’s chucking the whole pot. Sorry, Kanda. ]

[Kanda does not get hit with the full brunt of pot, but he gets hit with like 90% of pot, and that's basically the full thing if you think about it. It shatters against him and the rest goes flying, and thanks to the enchantment on this house it immediately reforms. Neat.

The soil-covered man himself, meanwhile, ditches the trowel and instead decides to full body tackle Allen around the waist. His only warning that this will happen is a single footstep taken forward and then suddenly Kanda is on him, like a tiger.]

[ There’s a brief moment of worry that flashes across Allen’s features when the pot shatters. A brief moment of “oh fuck”, like he hadn’t meant for that. It’s a light pot, so he didn’t figure it’d do damage, but the shards sure could. He opens his mouth, be it to utter an “are you okay?” or an “I’m sorry” or something like that. No noise comes out, though, because then he’s getting tackled.

Allen doesn’t even try to move out of the way. He doesn’t think he could, and fears hurting the plants in trying. He’s also just so confident he can handle Kanda that he isn’t worried about it. He is immediately toppling to the ground, though. He still weighs like nothing compared to Kanda after all.

His means that he hits the ground with an “oof!!” yet still tries to knee Kanda in his side and whack him against his shoulder. Not hard enough to hurt… he may also be checking Kanda for scratches from the pot.

Maria is here, unhelpfully— ]

Oi!!! Be careful, you brute!! I don’t know if the plants regenerate!!!

[There are a couple little scratches on his arms where he isn't wearing sleeves, but he's largely fine and they aren't any deeper than papercuts. Most of the pot hit him over clothing, so.

In any case, he's going to roll around with Allen on the ground for a bit before he tries to pin him by sitting on his lower stomach/hips region and holding his arms down. Because that's what you do when you're wrestling is you try to hold him down.]

The plants are fine, Beansprout.

[None of the shelving units have gone down, by some miracle!]

Brat.

Oh, you tackle me in the garden and I’m the brat??? Where the fuck is your logic?!

[ Anyway we stay rolling low so Allen is going to be pinned, but not without a fight at least. It’s always tough to pin down his Innocence and he’s constantly squirming to free himself. Lean any closer and Allen will very likely headbutt Kanda, even. ]

You started it.

[Are we five years old???? (yes)

Anyway Kanda is sitting Triumphantly on Allen, for Now. He knows this won't last that long.]

No, you called me short! That started it! You were asking to have dirt thrown at you!!!!!

[ Kick kick. Flail.

He swings his head over to bite one of Kanda’s arm. ]

You're short! You can't get mad at me for telling it like it is—

[And then Allen fucking BITES HIM??? and Kanda flails back to try and unlatch the fucking piranha off his arm like ?! ! !?

Knees Allen in the side.]

What is wrong with your dumb ass?

[ Well, first, he was raised by Timcanpy. So jot that down.

He isn’t able to hand on because his teeth aren’t sharp, so flailing works, but also works against Kanda as Allen seizes this opportunity to roll Kanda onto his back instead. ]

Your arse was on me!!! You think I’m the one being dumb?! Look at you now!!!

Edited 2026-03-25 21:54 (UTC)

[Kanda is on his back, Kanda is rolled. Allen can sit on him while Kanda tries to shake him off by wiggling his legs and lower half, and also trying to generally tilt Allen one way or another like a crocodile that can't make up its mind which way it wants to death roll.]

Mad that I reminded you you're always gonna be short, huh? Beansprout, Beaaansprout!

[kanda is sticking his tongue out.

you guys are two year olds.]

[ On back like turtle. Stuck. ]

I! Am! Growing! Why don't your bloody eyes work?!

And don't stick your tongue out at me unless you want it bit!!!! [ ????? What. Why are you yelling this angrily?? Allen? ]

[?? ? ?¿¿ ? ?¿/??/¿¿¿??¿? why does this make him feel things what's happening, why is his face red. Surely this is from rage, except while Kanda's stupid boy brain is processing all of this he's stopped moving because his brain has fully rebooted on him. The Windows 98 startup noise is playing right now. It's coming out of his open mouth as he starts to slowly close it.

Then there's just weather alert system test noises coming out of his ears. So.

???/¿¿¿¿ ? /¿/¿ que]

My eyes work, [he finally counters after like, thirty seconds too long.] They see over the top of your head whenever you're around.

[ Allen grabs Kanda's collar here, noticing the red on his cheeks and... something just kind of clicks in his head. Uh. So. He leans in as he pulls Kanda slightly up as he drops his voice real low. It's something between "I'm trying to be threatening because I'm still mad at you" and "I want you to keep blushing so hope you like sultry" which doesn't seem like it would mix well, but for Allen, it comes out so easily. ]

Are you still looking over me, Kanda? If they work, tell me what you see right now.

[To compensate for suddenly being pulled into a more upright position, Kanda props himself up on his elbows, looking him in the eye. ...And then Allen's voice drops a pitch and Kanda does not find himself intimidated in the slightest, but he definitely suddenly thinks to himself that it's weirdly hot in here.

Suddenly his eyes don't work he doesn't know, he's too busy staring at Allen's lips and visibly gulping. Hi? What is this.]

...dunno, [he mutters eventually, fully distracted,] the things over your head are way less interesting than you are.

[ Oh! He wasn't expecting to get flirted with suddenly. Though... no, he supposes that's what he was doing, too? Huh. Weird. He's not used to this yet, apparently. His own cheeks tinge red for a moment, and he barely collects himself even remotely before he's pressing his lips against Kanda's. He'd lie and say to himself that it was so Kanda couldn't see him getting flustered, but... no. He just... really wants to kiss Kanda right now.

Still holding his collar, by the way. Maria is also still here, still hanging out. She's dead and also not real probably so it's fine, but??? They're maybe stupid. ]

[Yeah, oops, they're kissing now. So it goes. Funny how this is usually happening when they're covered in dirt?? He's forgotten Maria is here. He's too busy moving his lips against Allen's and absentmindedly putting his hand on Allen's thigh, since he's currently sitting on Kanda as it is.

Yeah, they were definitely supposed to be gardening or something like that, weren't they. Too bad he's not thinking about that now.]

[ Allen isn't either, it's fine. He will continue to kiss Kanda, parting each time with a wet pop before joining their lips again. He does this a couple of time before he's pulling away with a gentle pant. He'd already worked himself up before from their brief wrestling on the ground, but... ]

...I love you, Kanda.

[Allen says that, and Kanda chases after Allen's lips to get another kiss out of him.]

Yeah. Love you too.

[Even despite the teasing and the fact that they were throwing soil at each other and the scratches from the pot and tackling each other and

yeah.]

[ The fuck you mean "despite", I think you mean in spite of. These boys love each other, all the time, even when they're fighting, not despite it. He will release Kanda's collar, smoothing his shirt out as he's gifted a few more kisses. ]

...We should move inside. The humidity is... a bit much. [ Uh huh. Sure. It's the humidity's fault that you're all flushed. ]

[do you think i fucking know english rubie]

Yeah.

[Allen is not moving, not off of him anyway, and Kanda gives it a second before he sort of just shrugs and sits up, taking Allen with him. Except then he puts his hands under Allen and scoops him into an upright carry and then ??? leaves. Like.

Allen has legs he can walk. And yet.]

[ I don't think the people who made English know English, have you seen this fuckass language. ]

Wh- Oi!!! [ HELLO!!! ] I-I was- You didn't even give me time to stand up by myself, Kanda!!!

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