[ At this rate, they were going to become a feedback loop of shame and anxiety and misplaced anger. Kanao experiences that fear as vividly as if it were her own, then physically feels it intensify within the pit of her stomach as she, too, picks up on the noise. Was there… something up ahead? Something lurking deep within the dark, labyrinthine caverns they found themselves in…?
She wants her coin. She wants her coin. She doesn’t need it. She didn’t need it, not anymore, she could make her own decisions. She knows what has to be done, and yet she finds herself momentarily utterly incapable of deciding.
Thankfully, Genya reacts. The warmth tethers through their connection. It has been many years since Kanao was a frightened little girl, but the gratitude she feels in the moment that he starts to advance through the labyrinth wells from deep within.
She falls into step alongside him, head swiveling to try and catalogue as much of the labyrinth as she can with the limited visibility. ]
Okay. [ Yeah, she’s thankful he’s even saying anything. Her anxiety will notably lessen after. ]
[The sensation of want, of need careens through Genya, all without a source to pin it to. He swallows the odd sensation down, along with any fear that threatens to burble up. He can hold it together. He'll have to, if it means Kanao gets out of this alive.
And if it means making it back to Sanemi.]
The last time something like this happened, I saw my brother. It wasn't really him, but he was still real enough to hurt me. [He focuses on his words, rather than his surroundings. If he does that, maybe he can keep his own dread from taking over.] There might be something like that in there. So if you see Miss Kocho or anything else, you have to be on guard.
[ Genya's wholehearted dedication to maintaining his calm does wonders for Kanao, in turn. As they maintain their forward momentum, she is able to dedicate a portion of her attention to unraveling their current state of affairs. The explanation, while unsettling, is ultimately a helpful one. Dispelling the fear of the unknown would help her effectively navigate through whatever horrors would assuredly crawl up out of these dark depths.
She nods her head, grimly determined. Then, eventually: ]
Got it. Mm. It seems… we might be feeling what the other is feeling. Maybe because of these shackles?
[In turn, Kanao's relief seems to echo back toward Genya. For once, the ripples seem to work in their favor, or at least seem to for a moment. Unfortunately, when Kanao points out the potential magic at work, irritation blooms. Not at her by any means, but at their situation at large.
He clicks his tongue.]
Probably. They love messing with us. Probably want us to tear each other's throats out because we can't make sense of our feelings. [Which means he'll need to try harder than ever to get a grip.
[ A powerful part of her wants to apologize that Genya had wound up shackled with someone like her: someone who had struggled in the face of that terrible evil, and someone who made him viscerally uncomfortable. She swallows the urge, focusing on steeling herself above all else.
His question does snag her attention. Kanao, who had grown up in abject poverty and abject apathy, had remarkably little knowledge of religion or spirituality. She had experienced it in part when Kanae was laid to rest, but otherwise… ]
[Something slithers through their bond — something he can't quite put his finger on. He glances toward her, thinking to ask after it, but ultimately swallowing the urge. It's bad enough that she has to deal with him intruding unconsciously, right?]
It's... a chant I learned from my master. Namu amida butsu, or "I take refuge in Amida Buddha." [He shakes his head.] I don't know if I believe in all of the crap it preaches, but... repetitive motion can be really calming. And it can help focus your strength.
[He realizes he's starting to ramble and feels a prickle of shame run through him. Quickly, he blurts out:]
I-I just mean that if you get nervous, you can try it. It might help calm you down.
[ That made sense. From what she had heard from Shinobu, and what little time she had spent around the Stone Hashira, he seemed a deeply spiritual man. As Genya's master, it would have been natural that that spirituality would thread its way into his teachings. In a way, it reminded her of her coin.
She feels that prickle of shame. When she repeats the phrase back to him, it is for twofold reasons. ]
Namu amida butsu… I’ll remember it. Thank you.
[ She pauses. After a few seconds of warring with herself, she murmurs. ] I'm not sure if we'll be able to the whole time, but talking is nice. The – the phrase is helpful, too. I usually… I used to toss a coin. It wouldn’t help much here, though.
[It's almost relieving, perhaps even touching, to not be laughed at outright. That she takes him so seriously is enough to send a renewed flush to his cheeks, and he finds himself once again tipping his head in embarrassment. At least this time, it's not without a smile.]
Y-yeah. Of course.
[It is not lost on Genya, that Kanao doesn't talk all that often. She was silent at Final Selection, and he's largely certain that she never spoke a word whenever they crossed paths at the Butterfly Mansion.
From one socially awkward kid to another, he knows to appreciate that.]
It is nice... [That crooked smile finds a way to widen.] Can you tell me more about the coin?
[ It’s almost as if they’re not immersed in a dangerous labyrinth fighting for their very lives! The kids are alright. At least for now, while there isn’t any immediate, imminent danger.
She also recalls how Genya acted at Final Selection. He was brash, hotheaded, and sharp-tongued – not unlike his brother. She has to wonder how much of that was a front. She understood the concept intimately.
When he mentions the coin, she immediately fishes it from the pocket on her uniform’s skirt. It is as standard as most coins from their era could be. ]
When Kanae – when my older sister adopted me, I couldn’t make decisions on my own. She told me that whenever my heart was conflicted, and when I couldn’t decide what to do, I should flip this coin. It would decide for me.
[Ridiculous as it is to talk about trivial matters, if it keeps them calm, then so be it. Failing to keep a cool head had nearly killed him before. He won't make the same mistake again, especially not when someone else's life is on the line.
His gaze falls to the coin only for a second, but long enough to capture all the important details. Even if his eyes flick forward again, he's no less invested in their conversation. They both know how important it is to be ready for anything. He doesn't need to explain that to her.]
Seems smart. [No judgement here.] Getting crippled by indecision can get you killed. Not that you need me to tell you that. She... really must have done her best to look out for you.
[He'd heard the story of Kanae, though not all the details. Likely somewhere between Himejima's weeping.]
... yes. It helped for a time. I don't think either of them anticipated that I would ever need to use it in the field of battle, though.
[ Kanao pockets the coin, but not before the pad of her thumb digs into the surface for a moment. Sorrow threads in between a steady affection as she remembers Kanae. It had been distant, back when she had died. Like trying to hear through thick wads of cotton stuffed in her ears. ]
I don't know for sure, but... I think they both wanted me to grow up to be a normal girl. Certainly not a slayer.
Yeah, that. Seems a little dangerous. Not a lot of time to be able to make a decision.
[Not that Kanao hadn't managed well. She was was a tsuguko, her master's protege. She seemed to even put Tanjiro and his friends to shame, which was saying something. Clearly, she'd managed to figure the whole thing out.
Not that she was perfect, apparently. He winces sympathetically at her confession.]
... My brother is the same way, I guess. He tried to push me away, to make sure I never got involved with the slayers. It only made me want it more.
[ The fact that Genya seems comfortable enough to share something in kind overjoys her! He had always seemed so terribly tangled up inside. It was never something she had conceptualized trying to tackle herself – she would surely have worsened it with her own agonies – but she knew Tanjiro had reached out to him. Had witnessed some of those struggles with the elder Shinazugawa firsthand, in fact.
Their relationships with their older siblings had been incredibly different. Shinobu had never been unkind to her. Hard on her, yes – distant, assuredly. But she had never been forced to endure anything physically from her sister's hand. A part of Kanao wonders if... Genya even wholly questioned that violence.
But this was hardly the time to bring such a delicate topic up. She nudges forward on the toes of her boots, peeking her head round a corner. The distant rumbling was far closer, now, but... ]
It sharpened your resolve. You wanted to close that distance between you in any way you could. My decision to participate in the Final Selection was similar.
[Without a weapon, there isn't much that Genya thinks he can do. He might not have been enough to best a hashira, but at least he was adept at taking out a few demons here and there. He could survive with something in hand.
Or maybe if he took a bite of whatever was down there? But Genya pushes the thought far from his head. He'd given his word to never tap into that ability again. More than that, he doesn't want to. Not when the chance of losing control, of hurting someone else, was on the table.
Still, he hates feeling weak. Kanao tells him to feel proud, but he only feels small. His hands clench into fists and -
something faintly electric sparks from them.]
I wouldn't go that far, but - [He shakes his head.] Listen to me. I think I might be able to distract whatever's out there, if it comes toward us.
[ That frustration threads through their connection. Kanao can sense that she has said something that prodded at the wrong, open wounds. Before she can dwell on it overmuch, though, her eyes are drawn to the sparking in his hands. The magic borne from the Grove...? They could use it down here?
But then he suggests providing a distraction. For a split second, reflexive fear swarms their emotional link. She, for a moment, vividly recalls how Shinobu had waylaid Upper Moon Two. Surely he didn't mean to sacrifice himself? A bead of sweat wells on her forehead. ]
[Genya feels that fear, sharp and brief enough to overwhelm, but only for a moment. He draws in a reflexive gasp, squeezes his eyes shut, and tries to find himself through it. Mentally, he repeats his chant. Through it, he's able to trace at least some of where that fear might come from.]
I'm not going to get us hurt. [He's quick to shake his head.] If it shows up, I can use my magic from here. Make a tornado, cause some thunder. Draw its attention elsewhere so we can sneak past.
[He can't die down here. Not if he wants Kanao to live, and not if he wants to make it back to his brother. There's no other way but forward.]
[ She's affecting him. Her own fear is having an adverse effect on him. Kanao's fright twists into ugly, self-directed anger for all of a split second before she does the same as him, though they might not know it. She starts to repeat the chant in her head. ]
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sticksandbones2026-05-01 12:05 pm
no subject
She wants her coin. She wants her coin. She doesn’t need it. She didn’t need it, not anymore, she could make her own decisions. She knows what has to be done, and yet she finds herself momentarily utterly incapable of deciding.
Thankfully, Genya reacts. The warmth tethers through their connection. It has been many years since Kanao was a frightened little girl, but the gratitude she feels in the moment that he starts to advance through the labyrinth wells from deep within.
She falls into step alongside him, head swiveling to try and catalogue as much of the labyrinth as she can with the limited visibility. ]
Okay. [ Yeah, she’s thankful he’s even saying anything. Her anxiety will notably lessen after. ]
no subject
And if it means making it back to Sanemi.]
The last time something like this happened, I saw my brother. It wasn't really him, but he was still real enough to hurt me. [He focuses on his words, rather than his surroundings. If he does that, maybe he can keep his own dread from taking over.] There might be something like that in there. So if you see Miss Kocho or anything else, you have to be on guard.
Got it?
no subject
She nods her head, grimly determined. Then, eventually: ]
Got it. Mm. It seems… we might be feeling what the other is feeling. Maybe because of these shackles?
no subject
He clicks his tongue.]
Probably. They love messing with us. Probably want us to tear each other's throats out because we can't make sense of our feelings. [Which means he'll need to try harder than ever to get a grip.
No fucking pressure, right?]
... Have you heard of the Nembutsu before?
no subject
His question does snag her attention. Kanao, who had grown up in abject poverty and abject apathy, had remarkably little knowledge of religion or spirituality. She had experienced it in part when Kanae was laid to rest, but otherwise… ]
I haven’t. What is it?
no subject
It's... a chant I learned from my master. Namu amida butsu, or "I take refuge in Amida Buddha." [He shakes his head.] I don't know if I believe in all of the crap it preaches, but... repetitive motion can be really calming. And it can help focus your strength.
[He realizes he's starting to ramble and feels a prickle of shame run through him. Quickly, he blurts out:]
I-I just mean that if you get nervous, you can try it. It might help calm you down.
no subject
She feels that prickle of shame. When she repeats the phrase back to him, it is for twofold reasons. ]
Namu amida butsu… I’ll remember it. Thank you.
[ She pauses. After a few seconds of warring with herself, she murmurs. ] I'm not sure if we'll be able to the whole time, but talking is nice. The – the phrase is helpful, too. I usually… I used to toss a coin. It wouldn’t help much here, though.
no subject
Y-yeah. Of course.
[It is not lost on Genya, that Kanao doesn't talk all that often. She was silent at Final Selection, and he's largely certain that she never spoke a word whenever they crossed paths at the Butterfly Mansion.
From one socially awkward kid to another, he knows to appreciate that.]
It is nice... [That crooked smile finds a way to widen.] Can you tell me more about the coin?
no subject
She also recalls how Genya acted at Final Selection. He was brash, hotheaded, and sharp-tongued – not unlike his brother. She has to wonder how much of that was a front. She understood the concept intimately.
When he mentions the coin, she immediately fishes it from the pocket on her uniform’s skirt. It is as standard as most coins from their era could be. ]
When Kanae – when my older sister adopted me, I couldn’t make decisions on my own. She told me that whenever my heart was conflicted, and when I couldn’t decide what to do, I should flip this coin. It would decide for me.
no subject
His gaze falls to the coin only for a second, but long enough to capture all the important details. Even if his eyes flick forward again, he's no less invested in their conversation. They both know how important it is to be ready for anything. He doesn't need to explain that to her.]
Seems smart. [No judgement here.] Getting crippled by indecision can get you killed. Not that you need me to tell you that. She... really must have done her best to look out for you.
[He'd heard the story of Kanae, though not all the details. Likely somewhere between Himejima's weeping.]
no subject
[ Kanao pockets the coin, but not before the pad of her thumb digs into the surface for a moment. Sorrow threads in between a steady affection as she remembers Kanae. It had been distant, back when she had died. Like trying to hear through thick wads of cotton stuffed in her ears. ]
I don't know for sure, but... I think they both wanted me to grow up to be a normal girl. Certainly not a slayer.
no subject
[Not that Kanao hadn't managed well. She was was a tsuguko, her master's protege. She seemed to even put Tanjiro and his friends to shame, which was saying something. Clearly, she'd managed to figure the whole thing out.
Not that she was perfect, apparently. He winces sympathetically at her confession.]
... My brother is the same way, I guess. He tried to push me away, to make sure I never got involved with the slayers. It only made me want it more.
[What an idiot. Both of them, really.]
no subject
Their relationships with their older siblings had been incredibly different. Shinobu had never been unkind to her. Hard on her, yes – distant, assuredly. But she had never been forced to endure anything physically from her sister's hand. A part of Kanao wonders if... Genya even wholly questioned that violence.
But this was hardly the time to bring such a delicate topic up. She nudges forward on the toes of her boots, peeking her head round a corner. The distant rumbling was far closer, now, but... ]
It sharpened your resolve. You wanted to close that distance between you in any way you could. My decision to participate in the Final Selection was similar.
[ She smiles at him. ]
You should be proud.
no subject
Or maybe if he took a bite of whatever was down there? But Genya pushes the thought far from his head. He'd given his word to never tap into that ability again. More than that, he doesn't want to. Not when the chance of losing control, of hurting someone else, was on the table.
Still, he hates feeling weak. Kanao tells him to feel proud, but he only feels small. His hands clench into fists and -
something faintly electric sparks from them.]
I wouldn't go that far, but - [He shakes his head.] Listen to me. I think I might be able to distract whatever's out there, if it comes toward us.
no subject
But then he suggests providing a distraction. For a split second, reflexive fear swarms their emotional link. She, for a moment, vividly recalls how Shinobu had waylaid Upper Moon Two. Surely he didn't mean to sacrifice himself? A bead of sweat wells on her forehead. ]
... how?
no subject
I'm not going to get us hurt. [He's quick to shake his head.] If it shows up, I can use my magic from here. Make a tornado, cause some thunder. Draw its attention elsewhere so we can sneak past.
[He can't die down here. Not if he wants Kanao to live, and not if he wants to make it back to his brother. There's no other way but forward.]
no subject
I'm – not worried about that. I –.
[ She fidgets in place. ]
Didn't want you to sacrifice yourself.