[Genya honestly can't tell where the dream ends and he begins again. It feels like he's erased and remade, again and again. Then again, it's never quite him being torn apart. He catches glimpses of another man, of Lodi, here and there, amidst the horrid metamorphosis that they both seem to undergo.
Eventually, the world spits him back out. Eventually, Genya finds himself on his side in the grass. He's soaked to the bone and shivering, but at this point he can't tell if it's from terror or the cold.
Steadily, he picks himself up and looks around. Is he alone? Or is Lodi nearby. One way or another, Genya staggers as he tries to seek him out.]
[ It's purely circumstantial that Lodi stumbles upon Genya and... given that he likes to think they've developed a rapport, it only feels natural for him to express concern upon encountering him looking so wretched. He doesn't touch his shoulder – he's learned his lesson from Genya's visible discomfort when he'd done so at camp, better to let him initiate something like that – but he does... hover, a little, maybe.
Had Genya stumbled upon something? Lodi briefly looks out into the woods, brow furrowed in concern. That concern remains when he spots nothing out of the ordinary. ]
[Is it relief that spills through him when Genya finally spots Lodi? Fear? Or concern? Certainly, the man seems in one piece — or as close to it as anybody can be. He has all of his limbs. His skin is normal. There aren't burns from a comet or - ]
What happened to you? [Genya blurts it out without thinking. Worse still, he continues forward without a single thought to hold his tongue.] Who was on the other end of that - that phone thing?
[Maybe it's a terrible way of going about things. Surely Lodi doesn't want to remember something like this. But Genya is too disoriented to really consider his feelings — only an abject concern for his personhood.]
[ That worry billows. Genya had seen – something. Lodi had run afoul of a number of those glittering golden lights and found himself immersed in another's memory, but the mere act of Seeing had become familiar enough that he hadn't found the ordeal overly disorienting. Beyond the obvious. Being forced to invade private moments so flippantly felt deeply invasive.
And now Genya had been forced to grapple with something he shouldn't have had to. Lodi is immediately concerned for him, rather than turning any of it internally. He had already weathered that storm. Hell, he'd lived it. ]
... did you see something? I'm sorry, of all the things – that must've been quite a shock. We... can talk about it if you want, but would you be able to tell me what exactly you saw?
[Really, Genya would love to explain it, if only to get some answers. The problem is that he barely understands half of what he witnessed. Technology is already something he barely understands, so that part is out. As for the twisting, cosmic horror of it all, how do you begin to put that into words?
He makes a face. Chews on his lip. And then finally tries to put it all into words.]
Everything. Splintered. There were pyramids and danger. Someone familiar but not in the last remaining city, I think? Lots of shapeshifting. Twisting and -
[His head pulses with pain, a budding headache from the chaos of it all.]
[ Great. Just – shove the whole of his experience with the Nine into the head of a kid that wasn't expecting it, and who already seemed antsy around the very concept. A bolt of anger at the circumstances runs through him so quick that it leaves Lodi feeling, momentarily, blisteringly hot. He heaves a sigh.
All the while, his eye seems to hum. An unnatural beacon of blue in the dreary dark. He rubs a hand over his face. ]
I'm – sorry to say, but it seems like you got to see the whole, uh, orientation period for what we talked about at camp. Why don't we find somewhere to sit at the inn and I can tell you about it. You also look like you might need some water.
You.... you went through all of that? For real? It wasn't like... metaphorical?
[Genya doesn't know a lot about drugs. But if he had to guess, he would have atributed what he saw to be something related to that? Or a hallucination, or - Not anything real. How did someone survive that and come out so... normal?]
... Water might be good.
[He crowds in close to Lodi. It almost feels like gravity isn't working, like his physically detached from the ground and on the verge of plummeting into the sky.]
[ Lodi huffs a humorless little breath of a laugh. When Genya crowds close he, ever so gingerly, lifts a hand to give him a consoling pat on the shoulder. As they walk towards the Inn, he talks. ]
Yeah, unfortunately. Not metaphorical. Not even a little, actually, haha. It was part of the whole, uh... getting from Point A, where I was at the time of the phone call, to Point B, the time and place that I was more or less needed at. The ones that called aren't exactly on the same... plane of existence that we are. It was like trying to fit a square in a circular hole. More or less.
[ When they arrive, Lodi dutifully busies himself with getting Genya a glass of water. When all is said and done, he gestures to the seats in front of the fireplace. ]
Please. You can ask me whatever you want, or I can try to explain to the best of my ability. Or, we don't have to talk about it at all. I can imagine that your head's probably spinning.
[Genya accepts the water, but doesn't immediately drink it. Instead, he holds it between both hands as he makes his way to the fire. The cold surface of the glass feels grounding. It's exactly what he needs right now.
It's all so much to take in. It probably would be for anyone, but Genya feels particularly out of water considering how technology was only just beginning to take root in Japan. The Grove was different too, but in a more magical way.
This is... something else entirely.]
I... wouldn't even know where to start, honestly.
[With that much said, he downs the water. At least that's a nice distraction.]
[ Lodi breathes in carefully. Breathes out equally carefully. He rubs his palms together wordlessly until he is certain his voice will remain as steady as he needs it to. ]
That’s a bit of a loaded question.
[ Not that Genya means it that way. It’s a question of genuine concern: that much, he knows without a shadow of a doubt. ]
Frankly, it didn’t matter much, at the time. We had intensive contingencies drilled into our heads – metaphorically, I should stress. And I knew that sitting there and collapsing under the weight of my circumstances would benefit no one. If something had happened that I could prevent while I was busy wallowing, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself. Wouldn’t have mattered how hung up I was about everything.
[Genya is quick to grimace. His mouth opens, an apology quickly forming, but it dies on his lips the second Lodi starts to speak. Clearly he hasn't taken it too much to heart.
Thank god he clarifies that it wasn't a literal drilling. At this point, Genya would have believed it.]
I get that much. With my work, you start to feel bad when you even have to take the time to heal. It means there's less slayers out there to keep people safe. [The thought alone makes his stomach twist.] You're a good guy, huh?
[ As much as he doesn't want to acknowledge it, Genya does understand Lodi's stance to a certain degree. It was a soldier's mentality. The sacrifice of the self for the greater good. He had learned these things at an age similar to Genya's, assuredly, but that doesn't mean it doesn't sting to see it reflected in one so young.
Lodi heaves a sigh. Leans his head back. ]
Between you and me, I'd –. [ He huffs out a laugh. ]
I'd hesitate to call myself good. Maybe that calling just comes easier to me. Not sure it necessarily defines my character. But it was how I got to this point with – everything, really. When I was brought to the point that you saw, it meant acknowledging the end of everything I had never known and knowing for a fact that I could never go back. My life as I'd known it was kaput. But the people in that new time, they – didn't need me, but they needed what I was brought there to do. And... if I didn't do it, it meant that some other poor sap would get plucked up to do it instead, and that just...
[ He shakes his head. ] Couldn't stomach it. So. Here we are.
[If not me, then someone else. If they weren't where they needed to be, someone else would suffer. Genya understands that more than he cares to admit. Maybe it doesn't make them good people. Maybe they're just people, period.]
I get it. If it weren't me out there, someone else might get hurt. And that someone might lose someone important to them too.
[ God, he really, really wish Genya didn't get it. It's hypocritical to sit here and think this is a good kid after he'd just protested otherwise about himself, but... there was a difference to what Genya was speaking of and what Lodi had done. He knows this for a fact.
Lodi smiles. It is genuine, but it doesn't reach his eyes. ]
Yeah. Just... don't let it be the only thing motivating you, okay? I mean, you've got a whole life ahead of you. Especially here.
[You have a whole life ahead of you. Genya finds himself flinching, his stomach bottoming out. He had, at best, a handful of hours left back home. While Lodi may be right that this place was different, it was a hell of its own making.
None of it felt worth being optimistic over.]
R-right. Sure. [He's almost certain he's pale. If the shift in mood wasn't obvious, then surely the way Genya tugs away would be.] I should - get going.
[ Alright, so he'd said something wrong. That much was blatantly obvious. He'd said something that was so abhorrently wrong, as a matter of fact, that he'd made Genya flinch and go pale.
And he could let him go without a fuss, sure. But he knows that look, or at least an approximation of it, and if Lodi didn't even try to dispel it he has a feeling Genya would be grappling with it for the foreseeable future. ]
Hey. [ It takes hardly any effort to shift his tone into something gentler. ] I'd really appreciate it if you stuck around for just a minute or two. At the very least, get your knocks in for me saying something that was obviously boneheaded.
It wasn't - [He trails off. Despite his general irritability toward strangers, Lodi had managed to worm himself into something more than that. Genya liked him, the idea of lying made him feel guilty. Given the circumstances, maybe it was a boneheaded thing to say, but it wasn't like Lodi was supposed to know better.] You had no way of knowing.
[Really, the idea of talking about this with anybody is nauseating. But considering Genya's own inadvertent spying,t he least he can do is share a little in kind.]
's'just. I don't... have a life ahead of me, y'know. [He glances down at the ground, socked feet toeing at the dirt.] I don't make it out of where I'm goin'.
[ God, and if that isn't a punch in the gut. And of course he'd opened his fool mouth and said something that was objectively untrue, to a teenager who knew the date of their own death. The urge to stick his head in a hole and stay there for the next business day is becoming increasingly tempting.
His personal anguish shouldn't even factor, actually. Lodi finds himself abruptly, bristlingly upset at how unfair of a concept that is. But he'd known how cruel the world could be for a long time, now. He heaves a sigh. ]
... I'm sorry. I really did say something I shouldn't have. That's –.
[ He pauses. ]
Listen. You don't have to take anything I say to heart if you really don't want to. Lord knows I was sick and tired of people getting up on soapboxes trying to make me feel better at circumstances that were outside of my control, especially when I was younger. But when I learned what I know now – God, it really sucks to feel like you're walking around like a ghost, twisted up with knowledge that it feels like you shouldn't have. When you're constantly waiting for that other shoe to drop. So I can't pretend like I know exactly what you're going through, or the exact shape of the burden you bear, but... I just can't see this, here and now, as a strictly bad thing, because –. I like to think we've established a rapport, and it evidently wouldn't have been possible without us being here.
[ He smiles sheepishly with one corner of his mouth. ]
Not that I'll be offended if you don't feel the same. I know how I'd feel if I was your age and talking about this all with a, uh, old man. All I'm saying is that I feel like this is all worth something. Even with all the shit we've been put through.
[Under normal circumstances, Genya would probably have bristled at any of these attempts. Really, the fact that Lodi doesn't get a fist to the face for even trying says quite a bit. Himejima was the only adult that had ever managed to bring Genya to heel, and it was anyone's guess as to how he pulled that off.
Still, there's something to the way Lodi speaks, and how he frames his words. Or maybe there's something to be said about the horrors that Genya had once witnessed. At the very least, he knows that when Lodi says he understands the younger man, Genya actually believes him in a way he normally would not.
By the time Lodi finishes, Genya isn't quite smiling, but a ghost of amusement passes over his face all the same.]
I mean. You said it, not me. You sound like a real geezer, talkin' like that.
[And yet Genya is still there, and the weight on his chest seems to have been lifted ever so incrementally.]
[ He really wouldn't have blamed Genya for punching him in the face, to be completely and utterly honest! He had felt like he was overstepping throughout the whole spiel. If the only kickback he ultimately gets is being called a geezer, he will take it! ]
You know what, I'll take it. Worse things to be called than a geezer. Since you called me one, though, it means I get to say this –.
[ Lodi beams. ] You're a good kid. And I do mean that.
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sticksandbones2026-05-01 12:05 pm
i
Eventually, the world spits him back out. Eventually, Genya finds himself on his side in the grass. He's soaked to the bone and shivering, but at this point he can't tell if it's from terror or the cold.
Steadily, he picks himself up and looks around. Is he alone? Or is Lodi nearby. One way or another, Genya staggers as he tries to seek him out.]
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Had Genya stumbled upon something? Lodi briefly looks out into the woods, brow furrowed in concern. That concern remains when he spots nothing out of the ordinary. ]
Hey. You okay? Did something happen?
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What happened to you? [Genya blurts it out without thinking. Worse still, he continues forward without a single thought to hold his tongue.] Who was on the other end of that - that phone thing?
[Maybe it's a terrible way of going about things. Surely Lodi doesn't want to remember something like this. But Genya is too disoriented to really consider his feelings — only an abject concern for his personhood.]
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And now Genya had been forced to grapple with something he shouldn't have had to. Lodi is immediately concerned for him, rather than turning any of it internally. He had already weathered that storm. Hell, he'd lived it. ]
... did you see something? I'm sorry, of all the things – that must've been quite a shock. We... can talk about it if you want, but would you be able to tell me what exactly you saw?
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He makes a face. Chews on his lip. And then finally tries to put it all into words.]
Everything. Splintered. There were pyramids and danger. Someone familiar but not in the last remaining city, I think? Lots of shapeshifting. Twisting and -
[His head pulses with pain, a budding headache from the chaos of it all.]
I don't know.
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All the while, his eye seems to hum. An unnatural beacon of blue in the dreary dark. He rubs a hand over his face. ]
I'm – sorry to say, but it seems like you got to see the whole, uh, orientation period for what we talked about at camp. Why don't we find somewhere to sit at the inn and I can tell you about it. You also look like you might need some water.
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[Genya doesn't know a lot about drugs. But if he had to guess, he would have atributed what he saw to be something related to that? Or a hallucination, or - Not anything real. How did someone survive that and come out so... normal?]
... Water might be good.
[He crowds in close to Lodi. It almost feels like gravity isn't working, like his physically detached from the ground and on the verge of plummeting into the sky.]
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Yeah, unfortunately. Not metaphorical. Not even a little, actually, haha. It was part of the whole, uh... getting from Point A, where I was at the time of the phone call, to Point B, the time and place that I was more or less needed at. The ones that called aren't exactly on the same... plane of existence that we are. It was like trying to fit a square in a circular hole. More or less.
[ When they arrive, Lodi dutifully busies himself with getting Genya a glass of water. When all is said and done, he gestures to the seats in front of the fireplace. ]
Please. You can ask me whatever you want, or I can try to explain to the best of my ability. Or, we don't have to talk about it at all. I can imagine that your head's probably spinning.
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It's all so much to take in. It probably would be for anyone, but Genya feels particularly out of water considering how technology was only just beginning to take root in Japan. The Grove was different too, but in a more magical way.
This is... something else entirely.]
I... wouldn't even know where to start, honestly.
[With that much said, he downs the water. At least that's a nice distraction.]
Are you okay? Like... after all of that?
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That’s a bit of a loaded question.
[ Not that Genya means it that way. It’s a question of genuine concern: that much, he knows without a shadow of a doubt. ]
Frankly, it didn’t matter much, at the time. We had intensive contingencies drilled into our heads – metaphorically, I should stress. And I knew that sitting there and collapsing under the weight of my circumstances would benefit no one. If something had happened that I could prevent while I was busy wallowing, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself. Wouldn’t have mattered how hung up I was about everything.
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Thank god he clarifies that it wasn't a literal drilling. At this point, Genya would have believed it.]
I get that much. With my work, you start to feel bad when you even have to take the time to heal. It means there's less slayers out there to keep people safe. [The thought alone makes his stomach twist.] You're a good guy, huh?
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Lodi heaves a sigh. Leans his head back. ]
Between you and me, I'd –. [ He huffs out a laugh. ]
I'd hesitate to call myself good. Maybe that calling just comes easier to me. Not sure it necessarily defines my character. But it was how I got to this point with – everything, really. When I was brought to the point that you saw, it meant acknowledging the end of everything I had never known and knowing for a fact that I could never go back. My life as I'd known it was kaput. But the people in that new time, they – didn't need me, but they needed what I was brought there to do. And... if I didn't do it, it meant that some other poor sap would get plucked up to do it instead, and that just...
[ He shakes his head. ] Couldn't stomach it. So. Here we are.
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I get it. If it weren't me out there, someone else might get hurt. And that someone might lose someone important to them too.
Gotta stop the cycle somehow, right?
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Lodi smiles. It is genuine, but it doesn't reach his eyes. ]
Yeah. Just... don't let it be the only thing motivating you, okay? I mean, you've got a whole life ahead of you. Especially here.
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None of it felt worth being optimistic over.]
R-right. Sure. [He's almost certain he's pale. If the shift in mood wasn't obvious, then surely the way Genya tugs away would be.] I should - get going.
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And he could let him go without a fuss, sure. But he knows that look, or at least an approximation of it, and if Lodi didn't even try to dispel it he has a feeling Genya would be grappling with it for the foreseeable future. ]
Hey. [ It takes hardly any effort to shift his tone into something gentler. ] I'd really appreciate it if you stuck around for just a minute or two. At the very least, get your knocks in for me saying something that was obviously boneheaded.
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[Really, the idea of talking about this with anybody is nauseating. But considering Genya's own inadvertent spying,t he least he can do is share a little in kind.]
's'just. I don't... have a life ahead of me, y'know. [He glances down at the ground, socked feet toeing at the dirt.] I don't make it out of where I'm goin'.
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His personal anguish shouldn't even factor, actually. Lodi finds himself abruptly, bristlingly upset at how unfair of a concept that is. But he'd known how cruel the world could be for a long time, now. He heaves a sigh. ]
... I'm sorry. I really did say something I shouldn't have. That's –.
[ He pauses. ]
Listen. You don't have to take anything I say to heart if you really don't want to. Lord knows I was sick and tired of people getting up on soapboxes trying to make me feel better at circumstances that were outside of my control, especially when I was younger. But when I learned what I know now – God, it really sucks to feel like you're walking around like a ghost, twisted up with knowledge that it feels like you shouldn't have. When you're constantly waiting for that other shoe to drop. So I can't pretend like I know exactly what you're going through, or the exact shape of the burden you bear, but... I just can't see this, here and now, as a strictly bad thing, because –. I like to think we've established a rapport, and it evidently wouldn't have been possible without us being here.
[ He smiles sheepishly with one corner of his mouth. ]
Not that I'll be offended if you don't feel the same. I know how I'd feel if I was your age and talking about this all with a, uh, old man. All I'm saying is that I feel like this is all worth something. Even with all the shit we've been put through.
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Still, there's something to the way Lodi speaks, and how he frames his words. Or maybe there's something to be said about the horrors that Genya had once witnessed. At the very least, he knows that when Lodi says he understands the younger man, Genya actually believes him in a way he normally would not.
By the time Lodi finishes, Genya isn't quite smiling, but a ghost of amusement passes over his face all the same.]
I mean. You said it, not me. You sound like a real geezer, talkin' like that.
[And yet Genya is still there, and the weight on his chest seems to have been lifted ever so incrementally.]
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You know what, I'll take it. Worse things to be called than a geezer. Since you called me one, though, it means I get to say this –.
[ Lodi beams. ] You're a good kid. And I do mean that.
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Yeah, yeah. Just don't go repeatin' that, alright? I have a reputation to uphold, you know!
[He absolutely does not. Everyone knows he's soft. He only has one "enemy" in this place, and even that isn't true.]