sticksandbones | If it were the real me and you

Entry tags:

If it were the real me and you | OPEN

Who: Wolfwood and YOU!
What: Wolfwood schedules a cult book burning and invites everyone
When: March 10th
Where: The Church
Warnings: Relevant info for this event can be found here, general warnings for: monster attack which could lead to blood/gore/etc in threads, please tag accordingly! Will update as needed

Netbook | Morning

Hey everyone, it's me Wolfwood. Nicholas D. Wolfwood if you're new.

So, here's the deal. The church I bought has a problem. It came with a bunch of religious texts inside of it, and while that's...you know. What you'd expect in a church, these ones are like

super fuckin culty.

Not exactly what I asked for. Not that I asked for them at all. I keep trying to get rid of them but they keep showing up again later so

Basically Im gonna be burning them again this evening if anybody wants to come to the bonfire, or help me in getting rid of them cause theres a shit ton. Bring marshmallows or whatever, I dont care.

and before someone comes preaching to me about burning books, again: its cult propaganda bullshit. read it for yourself if you dont believe me
just make sure you chuck it in the fire afterwards or ill do it myself.

Church | Evening

[Should you choose to come to the Church later that evening for whatever reason, you'll find the Priest himself already hard at work setting up a pyre in the yard just outside of it. (Just look for the massive bound cross propped up nearby, you can't miss it.) With the way he loads up the firepit he's created with kindling, it's clear he's already had to do this once before. It's a bit tricky to find anything dry given that the snow is still on the ground in a lot of places, but he's making do with what he's got. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Beyond getting the fire going, there's a matter of getting the aforementioned books out of the church. It's just as Wolfwood described, should you grow curious and crack one open. They're very religious, but strangely...plant focused. Like it's a religion that revolves around the Forest itself, almost. Definitely nothing orthodox about this, that's for sure. There are quite a number of them to take care of as they've all refilled the church pews since the last time he did this.

Or, perhaps you're just here because you think bonfires are cool and want to simply enjoy yourself for a change. The Forest seems to have had its fun with the animal race given that everyone's back to normal at this point, so really, why not kick back and enjoy the warmth of the flames while it isn't sub-zero temperatures outside anymore?

Feel free to mingle...or don't. Perhaps the distant unease in the atmosphere is enough to stop you.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

i mean it brings us here, does shit to us and yer like it aint a god? brotha you ever actually met a god? cuz i have. that shit is prolly a god.

an i dunno but being like hey fuck you god gonna burn your shit seems like a recipe for it to go ye well ima chew all yer faces off cuz i dont understand non co.... uh... copreal punishment shit

just bury them or something burning is totes a way to get the smitin

Everybody but the Priest has seen a god, it's just soo ironic

Listen pal. I've already done it once before. Why didn't the Forest smite me then?

aint my fault gods seem to hate yer ass man you burnin they books i wouldnt show myself to you either damn

bro do you hear yerself?

yeah man i totally burnt all the books before and they just came back so lets do it again the first time wasnt a warning or nothing

why everyone who go through this shit gotta all do the same stuff damn where yer ass ima preemptively kick it

[At least the Grove is somewhat nicer than Ryslig. Smaller though. Man he misses the city.]

Do you think I WANT the Forest to like me? All it's done is shit on us all from day one. I could give less of a fuck if it's a god or if it likes me or not.

I don't know who the hell you think you are but you clearly ain't been here longer than a day. I've never seen your handwriting. Don't preach to me about this shit when you haven't been through it. You haven't been trapped here for months.

Also? My ass is right fucking here if you think you can kick it. Try me.

brotha its less about liking you an maybe not starting shit that causes shit for OTHER PEOPLE like have some fuckin basic decency dickhead and think bout others rather than your own ass hurt

no fucker ive been trapped in another world for years forced to turn into a monster and eat people to survive but sure i dont know shit bout what your ass going through in this comfy little village you wanna ass kicking then here i fuckin come i might just eat you too im fucking hungry

[Oooo it's not hard to find you Wolfwood, you literally advertised the Church. There is giant ass werewolf stalking up to the church, sniffing around.]

SHOW AND TELL BRO WHERE YOU AT?!

[Wolfwood doesn't humor that with a response. He just puts the notebook down and gets back to work, you know, putting his pyre together for the book burning he still 100% plans on doing because fuck you actually-

He isn't trying to put people in danger. That isn't his goal. But at the same time, he isn't just going to sit around and have the Forest flood the only thing that he considers his with its bullshit. He's not going to roll over and take it this time.

...granted, as he steps out of the woods with a bunch of sticks under one arm, he is not expecting to be approached by a massive wolf. Dog. Giant anthropomorphic canine-

He's seen plenty of people with animal features here, that's just par the course at this point. But this?]

What the fuck.

[He tosses the sticks aside and immediately grabs for his pistol at his hip. He isn't drawing it yet, but like...]

You didn't say you were a giant fleabag!!

WHAT'D I WRITE ALL THAT FER THEN IF YOU DI'NT FUCKIN' READ IT. I SAID I WAS A MONSTER, FUCKER.

[His eyes track the hand going to the pistol, and he'll slowly circle cause he can't take his full moon form for the extra umph (it's actually the new moon and he feels bleh cause of it also sir the moon is weird did you notice) but he can use every other ability he has.

He drops to his hands, his form hunching a little, but it gives him more maneuverability.]

An' like I said yo, Ima kick yer ass NOW so whenever yer book burnin' shit backfires cuz it prolly gonna if this place like back home, an' we all get caught up in yer self-righteous selfish bullshit, than I ain't gotta take time out THEN to kick yer ass cuz I'll prolly be dealin' wid whatever shitchu caused!

[If those are normal bullets they'll hurt but also not affect him at all. Fuck it, he's gonna take his chance and charge. But at least he's not predictable (anymore) and going in a straight line. He'll jump at some point. Let's test those bullets.]

[YOU SAID YOU WERE A MONSTER YES BUT NOT A GIANT DOG FUCK YOU--

Anyway, there's no time for Wolfwood to fire back a proper retort, much less argue. Beat is coming at him, and he's coming fast, which is why he's going to have no choice but to go for his handgun as opposed to the cross propped up nearby. Honestly though, the longer this guy goes without knowing it's a weapon, the better. It's the one ace in the hole he has.

Does he particularly want to fight this guy? Now, of all fucking times? Not really, no, but he can't exactly back down from a werewolf charging at him headlong, can he? So instead of running back into the church (because he isn't a coward), he'll draw his gun and fire a quick two shots at Beat's shoulder. He would have gone for one of his legs to stop his charge, but it's a smaller target he can't risk missing, and he doesn't want to potentially permanently disable him despite...everything. He's here to defend himself, not kill or maim the guy.

Fortunately for Beat, it is just normal handgun ammo. For a monster, it might feel like a bee sting, given the fact they're not actual silver bullets.]

[It hurts, sure. It feels like a bee sting if a bee was shot out a small cannon going roughly 800mph, and then burying its entire ass into his shoulder. But it doesn't even slow him, it doesn't burn and sizzle like acid. Which means! Not silver!

Wolfwood hit, there's obvious blood now in the air and in fur, but that beast bears down with his muzzle open, landing after his leap to lunge forward again.

And like Wolfwood he's not going for his throat, or something to really hurt, but he will grab for his shoulder. Yet take deliberate care to pull back at the last moment, so he sinks his teeth into clothes instead.

Because frankly, he isn't hungry, and he doesn't want to awaken the hunger with the taste of blood in his mouth. But that won't mean he won't try to swing Wolfwood around like a stuffed animal.

Also while he's this close he can "THAT HURT!" around his mouth full of clenched clothing, before twisting his head to shake it.]

Shit-!!

[Well! He should have expected the gun would do nothing, but jesus christ. He thought it might slow him down a little. This is what he gets for not being close enough to grab the Punisher in time.

In the end, Wolfwood can't stop Beat from lunging at him. Grabbing him. It feels just like being jumped by the rose hounds, except 500 times worse because Beat is so much bigger. And when Beat's jaws snap closed dangerously close to where that old bite scar hides under his clothing, Wolfwood lets out a sound that's more fearful than angry, albeit just briefly.

He drops his gun in the scuffle. Just like that, Beat has him hoisted up by the front of his blazer, helpless to reach out and grab at his fur, or his muzzle, or whatever part of him he can to keep himself from being shaken around too violently.]

[The fearful noise tries to activate a part of his brain that says he has food. This is food in his mouth. Prey. Weak, helpless, human. Eat.

But the yellow tinged whispers that often come with the desire aren't there to make it worse. Even as Beat stands his full height with Wolfwoof in his mouth, the clothes tearing around his teeth, there's no desire to do good on the prey drive. Just... shake him, from side to side, before letting go. Opening his mouth suddenly to drop Wolfwood like a bundle of sticks, before quickly turning and

insult to injury

plopping his butt on the other's stomach/chest. A big dog, just sitting there. Breathe around it.]

Man! Why you gotta put bullets in my shoulder!!

[You will sit there as he begins to dig the bullets out with his mouth, because his paws are just too fucking big to get into the bullet wounds, so he's trying to use his teeth.]

Maaaaaaaaan.......... [Whine....]

[fucking HELLO? livio has his back turned for TWO seconds and a goddamn werewolf jumps wolfwood? look, beat, he agrees that this place fucking sucks, but attacking other residents is the most counterintuitive shit you can do.

by the time all this goes down and beat has taken a seat, he's got two more guns trained on his face, held by a guy who looks all too ready to shoot them. the very real fear livio is feeling staring at a dog person is shoved down and covered with the cold glare of someone who's done his fair share of premeditated murder.]

Unless you want more, go away.

[Wolfwood, meanwhile, is. Uh.

Incapacitated, for sure. He is being weighed down by Beat's fuzzy dog ass and is not going anywhere any time soon. His gun is too far away to reach, and no matter how hard he shoves, he lacks the strength to move his full weight off of him. It's like being weighed down by the old church bell again, except it's a hundred times heavier.

He groans, unable to even reach to kick him, before he hears Livio's voice just above. That is worrying, because he knows Livio would sooner pull the trigger than wait for much of an explanation. Even if- at least in this moment- Wolfwood wouldn't be super angry if Livio shot at him-]

Liv, m'fine- [He manages to get out before he beats a fist against Beat's hip uselessly.] -just...get OFF me!! You stupid mutt!

[He ignores the attempts to dislodge him, and he sort of dead-eyes the guns aimed at his head. There's a calculating look in them, gauging, but also the look of someone who has faced his fair share of shit. He doesn't know if there's silver in there or not... It will hurt getting shot straight in the face by both - especially as close as they are - but he also doubt any of them have any wolfsbane coating them. Hm.]

Nah. Not until dipshit down there says sorry. Take a moment and see which of one us is actually bleeding. Why ain't nonna you know how to have a proper fuckin' fistfight. Oh no...

[The hit in his hip makes him snort, and he turns to bite at his own shoulder again. He manages to get his tooth into one bullet, pulling it out and dropping it.]

Oh no, yo, gotta go right fer the guns first. Ain't no fuckin' honor.

[But his tail is wagging a little. Just.... just fucking push him off Wolfwood, Livio...]

[he is talking to a dog man, and the dog man is talking back. lord help him. livio doesn't lower the guns or even move his fingers from the triggers, but he also isn't shooting just yet.]

You've got fangs and claws. We're just leveling the playing field.

[... he may glance down for half a second at wolfwood. at least he's breathing. then his eyes narrow at beat.]

What do you want him to apologize for, exactly? [because it's extremely fucking unlikely that he'll ever get an apology. sorry.]

Ain't weren't no need to level the field, yo!! He said come kick my ass so I came to kick his ass and he fuckin' shoots me!

[His huff is the big huff of a dog who has had SUCH a hard life.]

I want him to say sorry fer puttin' bullets in my arm!! I didn't even scratch him!!

[He's whining now. Biggest dog whine. And at least he will get off Wolfwood by flopping dramatically off to the side.

Onto his shoulder cause he's a fucking idiot.

His ow is muffled in the dirt.]

You said you were going to eat me, shit for brains-

[Comes Wolfwood's muffled growl as Beat answers Livio above him, just in time for Beat to suddenly go rolling off of him and into the grass. He heaves a breath now that he's got room to do so, and thankfully he isn't so reckless as to jump up and try to attack Beat or something now that he's able to move. He just sits forward slowly, gritting his teeth and rolling his shoulders to make sure everything still works. Not a scratch on him, to Beat's credit...even if it does mean the collar of his blazer is now fucked and ripped up thanks to his teeth.]

[well, even if wolfwood seems fine, livio is stooping down -- at least one gun still out, thank you very much -- to inspect that torn spot.

alright, alright. no blood. he offers nick a hand to pull him up, without ever taking his eyes off of beat. livio... isn't sure whether it's more or less comforting that the guy seems to behave more like a dog than a human.

for now, he doesn't say any more. even as defensive of wolfwood as he is, he can see why beat might be upset, but he isn't going to be friendly to the guy as long as he wants to pick a fight.]

That's SHIT-talk, bro!! You know?! Damn...

[Once Wolfwood is up, Beat climbs to his feet as well, brushing himself off and just ignoring his shoulder. The bleeding is already beginning to stop. Mostly cause there's still a bullet plugging a hole. He puts a hand on his hip, his jaw closing on his tongue in a blep as he tries to look upset.]

You ain't never jus' had a damn ass-kickin' fight 'fore?! I won that, by the way.

[Now his tail begins to wag in earnest. Shf shf shf.]

Again: how was I supposed to know?!

[There's a difference between just saying shit, and actually meaning it. For all Wolfwood knows, Beat would have genuinely come over and just eaten him like he said. Ugh.

Well, whatever. He's fine, he didn't get eaten after all...and he'll take Livio's hand up, swinging to his feet with a frustrated huff. He will bend back down to grab his gun, but it's immediately holstered. No need to point another gun at Beat when Livio already has that covered.]

That was self defense. If I was shooting to kill, you wouldn't know cause you'd be dead.

Bitch, please, you can't fuckin' kill me wid normal bullets. Jus' a heads up, in case I go nuts or somethin' fer reals. You need silver. Or wolfsbane. Both'll work anywhere. It's super deadly. Acts like a poison.

[That sure is a werewolf giving you the secrets to actually killing him, all while his tail is wagging away and he's relaxing. His mouth is now opening into a happy pant, his tongue lolling out, showing off the tongue stud.]

Sorry 'bout gettin' all up in yer case. I getchu frustrated as fuck, but I think this is one of those fuck around and find out things that might backfire, you know?

[And while he has them here? He commits their scents to memory, in case he ever has to track them down.]

its already GOT power man it aint need our belief in it

it brought us here from our homes just like the fog shit did which is really annoyin yo im tired of bein jerked from world to world

It doesn't need any more. We're barely fending it off as it is. Don't call it that.

GOD fine i wont call it a god ill call it fog too cause its the same thing

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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