after mizuki's revival, before Sea

[submittome]

This is my confession. I, Affogato Cookie, am the one who named the Fallen Sun. I did so early in my arrival, unaware of certain matters that would come of it. I desire to make no excuses, it has been done, and I believed I had my reasons. In my allegiance with him, it was also me who summoned the snake that attacked and harmed White Lily Cookie and Clotted Cream Cookie.

Mizuki was

[ The writing, neat and elegant and swirly until then, becomes a little rougher. ]

an accident. His death was my fault, but I did not want it.

[ Except, in a way, he did to prevent suffering. ]

I ask for no forgiveness, nor do I expect it. All I ask is the chance to make amends. Somehow.


(( note: affogato will not respond to journal responses, if you want to talk to him you'll have to come to him in his room above the therapy building! ))

Comments

[winterfrosting]

[It's too late. Cacao wants to fight against that, and finally turning to fully look at him that conflict is clear on his face. He's not sure if it's just his affection for the other cookie or his own self righteous need to fix what he set in motion.

The fact he has to ask himself that proves to him he can't pursue it. It wouldn't be fair. He's been cruel enough.

He misses the ignorance, suddenly. Peach Blossom's voice echos in his ears. The fruit is gone, and forever he would ache for the absence. Was this awareness the true Enlightenment? The pain without the madness to hide it? Ah. Yes, he thinks so.]

It does matter... but I can not make you happy, can I?

[submittome]

[ That look on Cacao's face finally takes the wind out of his sails. It mirrors what he himself feels. And he feels his heart breaking.

What he wants is, perhaps, not what he needs. Isn't that fucking funny. ]

No, I don't think so.

[ He raises a hand, hesitates, then touches Cacao's cheek carefully with the tip of his fingers. A little brush, before letting them fall again. ]

Go home, Your Majesty. But thank you.

[winterfrosting]

[And in that moment, maybe for the first time, they finally both know what the other feels. Cacao's eyes shimmer with grief, and he touches the the spot where Affogato's fingers brushed. It burns.]

... very well. Hopefully... one day we will both be better men.

[And maybe then they can actually see each other for who they really are. But for now he turns with a deep heaving breath... and walks away]