Loop (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
theuniverseleads) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sticksandbones2024-10-15 01:40 am
theuniverseleads) wrote in sticksandbones2024-10-15 01:40 am
[POST-MORTEM] not to blame
Who: Loop & others
What: Loop doing Loop things
When: October 5th ~ 14th (and probably onward to the end of the month)
Where: Locations™
Warnings: hello depression spiral my old friend.... talk of murder/dead kids, suicidal thoughts, ISAT and GF spoilers, will update if needed!
After everything that happened on the 4th, it's not long before Loop's cozy new camp is also left abandoned. The cozy pillows remain for awhile, perhaps, but Loop is nowhere to be found near it for the rest of the month.
... and they're not at their old tree, either, if anyone decides to check. There's slash marks in the ground, here, and deep in the tree's bark, swathes off willowy branches sheared from the curtain surrounding it. How long has it been like that?
Regardless, they don't plan on being an easy person to find.
((using this as a catch-all instead of attacking like a dozen inboxes maybe, so hit me up![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
BlueFlewFedUQueen/discord/PMs/etc if you want to do something with Loop!!))
What: Loop doing Loop things
When: October 5th ~ 14th (and probably onward to the end of the month)
Where: Locations™
Warnings: hello depression spiral my old friend.... talk of murder/dead kids, suicidal thoughts, ISAT and GF spoilers, will update if needed!
After everything that happened on the 4th, it's not long before Loop's cozy new camp is also left abandoned. The cozy pillows remain for awhile, perhaps, but Loop is nowhere to be found near it for the rest of the month.
... and they're not at their old tree, either, if anyone decides to check. There's slash marks in the ground, here, and deep in the tree's bark, swathes off willowy branches sheared from the curtain surrounding it. How long has it been like that?
Regardless, they don't plan on being an easy person to find.
((using this as a catch-all instead of attacking like a dozen inboxes maybe, so hit me up
no subject
Well. Best not to dwell on that, too much.
Stan's story seems more interesting, anyway. They bring a hand to their non-mouth to convey the surprise.]
Thirty years! That's quite a lot of time. A lot more than I had to deal with, even if it got pretty grating to repeat the same two days for so long.
Why did you have to Change? Not another carelessly-made wish, I hope.
no subject
[He trails off and thinks about where to even start this story. There's parts that get told differently now, after all - both because pieces are missing and because he and Ford are on good terms now.]
...so I'm gonna skip a lot and there's probably some memory gaps here and there, but I'll try and hit enough to paint a picture for you.
[That'll have to be good enough.]
Basically, he was studying all this supernatural crud, and he had this big dimension portal in his basement. He asked me to come by after not talking to me for years and, well. He said some things, I said some things. Next thing you know we're punching each other and I knocked him inside the thing while it was on! I tried to get him back out, but nothing I did turned it back on. He was just...gone.
[He knows the story by heart, even if there were never photographs to back it up. It was too tied up in thirty years of other memories for him to not get it back, even if some of the pieces are more emotional than factual. Instead, it gets to just haunt him at night now and then when he thinks he's over everything. He sighs and pushes forward.]
Anyway, I had to get the dumb portal up and running, but I had to keep Ford's house and I couldn't tell anyone what happened or they'd think I murdered him and then I'd never get him back. So...I faked my own death and took his place. Back home, "Stanley" is dead - I even went to my own funeral!
[0/10 stars, not really worth the effort if he's being honest.]
After that I spent every night for thirty years staring at the same stupid machine, looking through the same dumb books, trying to make myself learn things I was too stupid for to make the thing turn back on, all so I could find Ford and bring him home. By day I ran a tourist trap to pay the bills, but every night was basically me running into the same dumb road blocks over and over and over.
no subject
... Yeah, it's not that different.
I... I spent a lot of time, running through the same few hours. Dying to the same obstacle every time. I thought if I tried for long enough I'd eventually get lucky, but he was just too powerful...
And then I felt like I had to, because what else was I supposed to do? Tell everyone it was hopeless and we should give up? But that wouldn't even work because time would still reset, so I just... I kept going. Throwing myself at it, knowing it would always end the same. Trying to make their last moments a little better, more hopeful.
[They fall quiet after that, feeling the weight of their own guilt. At least a thousand loops of that, hopeless and desperate, unable to allow themselves even a moment of respite... how much longer would that have gone on, if they hadn't let themselves slip? If their friends hadn't finally noticed? How much more would they have lost of themselves?]
Sometimes... you can't do everything by yourself, even if telling the truth seems more cruel than anything. I guess that's what I learned from it all.
[But Stan probably knows that already, by the sound of it. He has a good family. People he can surely count on, no matter what.]
no subject
Yeah. And after a while you've been doing it so long that you just keep doing it, even if you're not getting anywhere and just making yourself freaking miserable, 'cause there's nothing else you can do, right?
[And the unspoken part - that to some degree you feel like you deserve to be miserable.
But, that's a little too honest for now. Instead Stan chuckles when Loop gives their moral of the story.]
Sometimes, sure. For me it was more like, I did everything alone and then screwed up and got myself arrested by the US government and everyone thought I was making some kinda "doomsday device" to end the world or whatever.
[He puts finger quotes around doomsday device - you know, like that's a normal thing to act like people were just exaggerating about. He softens after that though.]
I mean, it all worked out in the end, but not 'cause I told anyone on purpose. But...who knows, maybe that would have gone better than all the arresting. Just don't tell any of them I admitted that, alright?
no subject
Your secret is safe with me~ Don't go telling anyone what I said, either. Sounds fair?
[It's hard enough to confess their identity to their friends, but all the details of how bad they were at escaping a timeloop? Haha, no. They're taking all of that to their grave, if they ever find a way to die for real.]
Thirty years, though... You must've worked hard to get it all done by yourself. [and it's impressive, genuinely. They would've given up so much sooner if they knew how. To stick to such a agonizing, repetitive routine for decades, and actually succeed...] You should give yourself more credit! It sounds complicated! I wouldn't even know where to start with something like that. I struggled just remembering where to go, and it's not like the floor layout ever changed. Imagine learning portal-ology ontop of everything else.
no subject
[Stan gives them a sincere thumbs up, and it's a sealed deal.
He wasn't expecting sincere praise though, and he actually seems unsure how to take that compliment.]
I mean, I didn't know where to start either! I just worked with what I had, and even then it didn't all click together until I got the last couple pieces of the blueprint - and I definitely don't remember any of it. At that meeting a couple weeks ago Dipper brought it up when we were all talking about skills and I had to tell him to can it so people wouldn't go around thinking I still know anything about portal junk!
[The last thing he needs is someone quizzing him on quantum physics because they thought he knew what he was talking about, because Dipper had to go and talk him up in front of everyone.]
no subject
What else did he say... [They hum, drawing out the memory. Town meeting introductions are important enough to recall, so—] A boxer, a business owner, taxidermist... what else is on that resume of yours?
no subject
Uh. Crime? Lots and lots and lots of crime.
[Not so impressive NOW, huh?! Wow, he sure sabotaged all of that admiration real good! Oh, well! Guess Loop will just have to see him like everyone else does!]
no subject
What sorts of crimes? [thinks about this for 2 more seconds] ... not like murder, right? Any fun crimes?
no subject
I've got more than a decade totally unaccounted for, so...I dunno. Then there's the whole "faking my own death thing" but that's more illegal in a taxes kinda way than a murder kinda way...
[Question of fun crimes is enough to get Stan grinning though!]
The best crimes are the fun ones! A lot of my greatest hits are stealing - theft, shoplifting, breaking and entering's always good. Really anything where I can throw down a smoke bomb and run is ideal, something where I can make a real spectacle, y'know? Oh, and counterfeiting! Counterfeiting's great too. Back where we're from no one really paid any attention to anything so half the time I'd just draw my own face on money and pay with "Stanbucks".
[He could go on for days if Loop let him.]
no subject
Wow, you're a real rogue, aren't you? ... I've broken a few laws, but mostly by accident. I know some sleight of hand, though! [and timeloops turned them into a kleptomaniac but that doesn't feel like it should count.]
What kind of stuff did you steal?
no subject
[That's probably not what Loop should be getting out of this, but oh well, too late now!]
I've been picking pockets since I was a little kid! If something's not nailed down I could prolly find a way to walk off with it - and even if it is, it's not like a few nails are gonna stop me. Hm, what good stories do I have though...I stole a watch from a witch once? And this other time I robbed a guy of a dozen cursed wax figures. I've gotten thrown outta Vegas more times than I can count for counting cards too, but that shouldn't even count as stealing. It's more like..."creative winning"!
[He pauses, and then thinks out loud - certainly loud enough for Loop to hear.]
...Huh. Did I steal that bear before I taught it to drive? I feel like I definitely did not pay for that bear.
no subject
[They heard the rest too, but how can they not focus on the most insane statement in there? Bear theft...]
Was it a good driver?
no subject
[Yes, Loop. You heard all of that correctly.]
And it sure was. It wound up an even better driver than me, if you can believe it!
[Whether that says more about the bear's driving skills or his own is...unclear. But he tells the story with a big grin and a real sense of showmanship.]
The local cops pulled us over, but I just told 'em I needed a seeing eye bear and they let us go - after a little forgery from yours truly!
no subject
[Oh hey, a genuine laugh... crazy how this started with like, the most depressing mood ever. Crimes were always the solution.]
no subject
[He's laughing now too though - it all happened of course, but laughter's contagious and it's a fun story to tell.]
no subject
And what happened after that? Did they apologize to the bear?