sticksandbones | where do stars go when they cannot fall?

( even to those who may be used to felicity's antisocial moods, this is... new. not even pure vanilla can draw her down from the roof most nights as she watches the sky, curled up on herself- it may come as no surprise that she's had to be carried in multiple times.

but something is missing, and she can't figure out what.

the melancholy haunts her for days, weeks, maybe even months with how time is so broken in this world and felicity seems to be in a daze half of the time. always looking up to the night sky, drifting aimlessly around the grove the few times she does go out.

until finally, she knows what's wrong: something is calling her. so instead of waiting for her father to come check on her, she drops from the roof with expert landing and wordlessly starts walking to the forest.

what will you do? )

[ Sorry you don't like dogs, Fel, but there's going to be one who greets her at the edge of the Woods. He's in bad need of a brushing, but he's familiar enough.

It almost seems like he was waiting for her, his tail wagging gently back and forth when he spies her coming towards him, standing up. ]

Edited 2024-10-17 00:43 (UTC)

( felicity half-flinches before she realizes who it is. is he waiting for her? ... she stops to crouch and pet him, smooshing his face a bit and giving expert ear scritches. )

Was wondering what happened to ya. ... Figures shit like this keeps happening to guys I like.

[ He takes the face moosh with a doggy grin and his tongue lolling out, eyes closing to the ear scratches.

Then snorts to her comment. He understands her. And with her? For this? He can dredge up words, though they're rougher. It's been a while. ]

Gets hard to ignore. The call.

[ For him, corruption and forest. For the star girl, though? ]

( MOTHERFUCKER I THOUGHT YOU WERE FULLY FERAL AND COULDN'T UNDERSTAND ME )

( she just hugs him and buries her face into his fur. god he needs a bath. )

... I know.

[ He turns his head to tuck it over Fel's shoulder as she hugs him, resting his head there in a return one. ]

Won't be alone. Widchu.

That a promise?

( because she's so tired of being lonely. she's never really quite fit in after her near-permanent death, and maybe it's because of her own self-isolation, and maybe it's because there's just... something wrong with her.

she just stays there for a moment. )

Ye. Promise. Will come back, every night.

[ Because his instincts demand he run, explore, dig. Find and chew things. His tail wags and he licks her ear, then makes a face as he tries to get her hair out of his mouth.

Pleck, raspberry stardust. ]

... Alright.

( except then there is dog tongue against her ear and she squeaks as she pulls back because aaaa? she's used to pearl, not dog!!!

...

pfft. more scritches for beat, then, before she stands up. )

... So, any idea what it is that's calling to me so badly?

[ He takes those scritches thank you very much, then stands himself and stretches. First forward, then backwards, then shakes himself. Pauses to think, then shakes his head. ]

No. Only-

[ Hear is not the right word. Neither is know. It's more instinctual, the way animals can sense an earthquake, or an approaching storm. Something in the air, in the ground, in the soft way the wind sighs through the trees.

Unable to find the word, he digs at the ground in aggravation a little, before looking up at her. ]

Safe, though. [ Which she knows. ]

Good enough.

( she'd like to think that even with the forest in his brain, he won't lie to her. and if this turns out to be a trap, well...

she has some tricks up her sleeve yet. she'll bring more rot and ruin than the false sun knows how to handle.

...

she steps into the fog.

with the initial pain and dread, it's harder to keep trusting, but- she sees the way. like golden stepping stones shining in the darkness. )

[ Beat won't speak as they set out, letting that time be for her and the others, but he doesn't ignore her. Instead he'll butt his head into the back of her legs sometimes, or go and fetch her something, including one very resigned looking mole.

It's only when she's reached the end of her journey and it's just the two of them again, will he sit himself down and speak. ]

Cozy.

[ Tail wag. He's eying it. ]

Edited 2024-10-17 05:18 (UTC)

I do not supposed I can stop you?

[ Pure Vanilla's voice is soft behind her as she begins to walk away, mid-way through his nightly check in on her, his hands full of things she likes that he might try and tempt her down with.

He has known something was wrong, with her wistful staring outwards, but she's leaving... ]

( ... this is... much harder to face. a friendly dog looking to help her get to what's reaching out for her is easy. a father who she loves and adores, who loves her back is...

...

felicity can't meet his eyes. )

Something is calling me. I have to know.

[ Ah, a calling. He's silent for a moment, then sighs, heavy. ]

Wait, one second?

[ He takes the things back inside, and he's brief before he's coming out again. A basket with the items in it, a scarf that he wraps around her neck once the basket is set down. Some mittens as well, though those get tucked into the basket proper.

He fusses a little, before cupping her face to tilt her head and kiss her forehead. ]

I will not stop you, nor beg you to stay, but know, my dear. Should you ever desire to come back, we will be waiting. We - I - love you.

( she waits, because as much as that feeling tugs and tugs and tugs at her, she'd wait forever for him.

...

her eyes burn and she holds it close. )

... Walk with us...? Even for a bit... I-

I know whatever it is, I'll be okay. But I don't know if I can come back. Not before this is finished.

Of course I will, sweetheart. As far as you'd like me to go.

[ There's no mistaking the dog, though the animal ignores him, focused on Fel instead. Vanilla picks the basket back up and slides his Staff through his arm, then gently takes Fel's hand with his free one. ]

I have made sure to pack your favorites, and do expect me to visit to restock you. I do not trust you to feed yourself.

[ A joke, considering her life. He is her father now, after all. ]

Wow! You know I love eating.

( it's the one thing thats successfully drawn her out of her wistful fugue this entire time!

...

but she will miss his cooking, yes.

she gives beat a ruffle before taking vanilla's hand. )

... Somehow, I don't even need the golden glasses. I just- know the way.

[ Oh, that hurts in a way he wasn't expecting. He's used to saying goodbye, a long life means he's said it plenty of times. But never like this, with someone he considers a daughter. His little girl. Where he knows her favorite comfort foods and held her while she cried and- ]

I do. I'll make sure you're well fed. Don't think I will only feed you sweets, however.

[ He will let her lead, walking beside her, feeling tears prick at the corner of his eyes. Beat falls in against her other side, his nose to the ground, tail wagging. ]

Depending on where we end up, I may have words about the state of it.

[ She is a star, after all, he may have an inkling. And he hates it. ]

Woman cannot live by sugar alone. ... Not for a lack of trying, of course.

( there's wavers in her voice that she's refusing to acknowledge. she can't. not with what she has to do still waiting for her.

...

she wants to go back home. but-

it calls.

she's quiet, and she wishes she never died and lost that arm so she could take his hand, too. )

... Got some theories?

[ The waver makes him squeeze her hand tightly, reassuringly, a little rub of his thumb against her knuckles. He's here. For as far as he can go, he's here. And he sighs softly. Selfishly he doesn't want to answer, like if he refuses it won't happen. Then they can turn around and continue with the lives they have built.

Instead he smiles. ]

Ah, you know me well. I... have my suspicions. And yet...

[ He doesn't want to speak them. ]

... Denial isn't going to make anything easier for anyone.

( it may seem harsh, but she's trying to be gentle. )

[ UGH she reminds him so much of Lily, his heart aches. His little girl. ]

I know, sweetheart. Forgive your father for not wanting to voice things into being.

[ Silence for a moment, before he speaks, his voice soft. ]

You are a star, my dear. Hale and hearty, and strong as can be.... [ Another pause. ] There are empty shrines, and so many weakened stars.

[ And what they learned of Hoku... ]

( ah.

they need a lowercase-g guardian.

she almost wants to be bitter, because the stars are here for as long as needed, only leaving their shrines for health reasons.

instead, she just keeps following the lights. )

... I see.

You're keeping track of the way, right? I don't want to be left alone too often.

I am, do not worry, I will not let you be alone.

[ He's thinking along the same lines. He will come visit, of course he will, but she- she will never get to return. Not unless something happens. ]

Will you forgive me for being a hypocrite?

[ His voice is sad, wavering, and the corners of his eyes glitter. For the loss of her that will be felt, despite her still being here. For the unfairness to her. ]

You do not have to do this, my darling. This is your life, no one else has the right to demand anything of you. Not the Gods, not the World itself. No one will blame you if you stop, turn back.

( it hurts to hear- it cuts into her heart like knives, every word. she wants to say yes, take me home so badly-

but the call tugs. yanks even. it sings and screams and begs.

felicity falters, and looks off into the woods, to wherever she's meant to be awaits. )

... I wish I could. But it's going to drive me insane.

[ Pure Vanilla isn't one to hate. But he finds he hates this, because he understands it. The call to something more. The maddening itch. His was never an actual pull, not until the Truth.

It makes him sigh, his shoulders slump a little. ]

I understand.

[ He squeezes her hand gently, before raising it to use his wrist to wipe at his eyes. Don't look at your father leaking. ]

I'm sorry.

( it's not her fault in the least, but- she is. she is. she wishes it could be any other way. but the stars need someone strong, and they've been battered by the waves of the black sun's viciousness for centuries, and they need her.

... and she is someone who needs to be needed. )

Oh, my little girl, it's all right. I will miss you fiercely, but you will always be within reach. You are truly not being taken away from us.

[ From him. The first person he ever looked upon and loved as a daughter. Someone he sees as the best parts of himself and White Lily... and yes, a little Cacao mixed in. He hm's softly and glances down towards the "Dog" whose currently snuffling at Fel's feet, before dropping a - is that a mole? - on her foot. ]

And I know you are in good company, and shall not be lonely.

Edited 2024-10-17 17:44 (UTC)

( i wonder how pv feels saying that and then beat shows up again in the grove-

anyways.

felicity reaches down and gives beat some ear scritches, but keeps walking not long after she rescues the poor mole. hey buddy. she'll let you free after she's sure beat isn't going to just drag you back...

...

it's warm. the walk, that is. the lighting, too. despite it being in suri's clutches, it's as if the forest- her shrine is welcoming her, shining brightly to beckon her home.

...

it isn't ever going to be home. not unless her fathers are there. )

... We'll just have to finish this sooner, so I don't have to stay long.

[ Her hand has been in his this entire time and he squeezes it gently before letting go so she can rescue the mole. The moment it's back to being free, however, it's being snagged up again. This is his daughter. He will hold her hand as they walk the woods.

And while it might be warm for her, a feeling of home calling, for Pure Vanilla it feels like a sad chilly day in the forest. His heart aches. It's getting too cold. He feels like he's abandoning her. He hates this. ]

As soon as we can, my sweetheart.

[ It's a promise.

And when they do reach the shrine and finally stop? And he's looking at it, with his heart heavy? There's a small spiteful part of him that wants to kick it over. Headbutt it. Cry on it until it stops pulling his daughter away from him. ]

How- [ A pause as his voice croaks with tears lodged in his throat. ] How are you to get... inside...?

Fel!

[Where did he come from? He probably climbed out of someone's window when he saw her. Hold on he is racing over to her waving something in his hand.]

Fel wait!

[His foot catches a tree root and he goes a spectacular three or four feet into the air and hits the ground with a thud.]

I'm okay!

Wha- Dipper!

( HER OMINOUS JOURNEY TO THE WOODS CAN WAIT A FEW MINUTES because she is obviously going to help him back up, what the fuck- )

You good?

Fine! I'm fine! This happens all the time!

[But thanks, he will get up and dust himself off.]

[Wait. The thing he brought- where did it- OH, there it is, thank goodness. He picks up what looks like...a couple of photographs.]

You've been- You've been really distracted lately and just started walking towards the forest. ...what's going on?

I-

I don't know. Something's been off. Missing.

It feels like something is calling to me, now. It's driving me insane.

[He knows what this looks like. He thinks about watching a certain someone's back as he walked into the ocean, leaving them. A bittersweet hug and then walking hand in hand with another certain someone when it was his turn.]

[He wonders when he got really scared of what was supposed to be a comforting phenomena but...this is what it looks like right? there's no Pthumerian ocean here, but the Forest- Dipper swallows he looks rattled but he looks worried, too.]

Is it the forest? Is it that fucker-

No.

( her voice is hard, steel even, but- dipper doesn't know what the forest's said to her, when it's just the two of them. when it's monster hunted her like an animal and tore her chest open-

she inhales and closes her eyes before she calms down again. )

... It feels like home.

Edited 2024-10-17 06:05 (UTC)

[This calms him somewhat but it only proves his theory- sort of. That it's more like being called back to the ocean. Where one returns to the depths, becoming another small soul in and endless abyss. The ocean is comforting. It's home. It's where all sleepers begin and end and will live a hundred lives and more.]

[It means good-bye for now but not forever.]

[He takes a deep breath. Fel was the first person who talked to him here, made him feel welcome, and forced him out of sleeping in the ruins of his old house. She was like the cool older sister he never had. He's going to miss her.]

[But when home calls to you, you can't resist it.]

...Okay. Then... It's a pull you can't resist, right? I-

[The pictures-]

I-I have something for you.

I could, but it might be worse? I-

( beat's given her his own reassurances. )

I'll be okay. There's a path to wherever I'm going. So- maybe it's just that I need to be somewhere specific, but- you guys can still visit. I don't know.

( fuck. she should have used magic to sneak out, because she can't handle this. she feels like she's going to cry and she hates it. )

... What is it?

[All this confirms what he's thinking. He nods.]

[It does occur to him suddenly, that she's a star and that where she's going might be a star shrine or something like that. Maybe she's being called to help them...? He hopes it's something like that and not something sinister actually but-]

[He pulls himself together and hands her a small stack of photos. They're photos from around the grove. She's in some of them! But there's also a few of just people she likes and knows. There's photos from the beach, and cookie house, stuff like that.]

I don't have very many since I still have like a ton of film to get through but- take these.

[He takes a deep breath, looking up at her again.]

Photographs are like memories. Wherever you go- it could be through the woods, or into another world, the ocean the sky- if you can take these with you, then, maybe it will keep these memories alive for you.

...

FUCK.

( it may seem horribly angry at everything, but mostly the exclamation is just... sad as she wipes her eyes with her wrist. she should have just vanished in the night, then she wouldn't be crying at being shown basic kindness before the heavens claim her- )

... T-thank you. I- give me a moment, I only have the one hand...

[ Perhaps, unsurprisingly, out of seemingly nowhere, she'll have a hand reach out and grab hers. It's familiar. And even more familiar, she's pulled into a hug.

Even if Mizuki could speak, he wouldn't. He just holds her. It's not surprising that she's been acting strange, but he wants her to know she's not alone. ]

( there's barely any reaction- she's used to mizuki just. doing shit. she also just does shit. what there is, however is a slow return of the hug as she buries her face into his shoulder. )

... It's so loud, Mizuki.

[ He nods. He gets that. More than anyone, he gets it. Ever since joining the Collective, it's only been constant sound and constant hunger. But he knows that not everyone is going to be used to something like that.

He puts his head against hers. ]

... I'm going to be going away for a while, I think. Something needs me. It needs a star.

If you follow the light, you'll find me again.

( ... )

Walk with me for a bit?

where do stars go when they cannot fall?

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cw gore references

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