❄️ on cultural differences (netbook)

[beathollow]

This is Mafuyu Asahina. It's come to my attention that another from... an iteration of my home country is here, now, so I thought it might be important to explain a specific cultural norm. Those in my country, and some similar to it across both the world and across dimensions, have very strict guidelines about names and politeness.

It is normally considered rude to use one's first name without permission. Most of my classmates would call me Asahina instead of Mafuyu despite being in the same class as while we are on good terms, friendly terms even, we are not close friends. Using one's first name without permission among peers is overly familiar at best, rude at worst. It can get even more complicated if one goes into honorifics, but I don't have the time or energy for that.

(I personally do not mind using Mafuyu with the people of the Grove due to personal matters, but that should not be assumed of everyone from Japan or countries similar to it. I just thought this might be helpful for others.)

I'm going back to resting now, unless anyone has questions? I guess. Please keep in mind I am still not fully recovered though.

( as a note, when she writes asahina mafuyu, it's with kanji that translates roughly to 'midwinter morning'! in case anyone wants to be an excited dog about name meanings. )

Comments

[outofsynth]

Isn't the point of this note so everyone can respect what other people want to be called?

zahliyabot voted for this one.

[eidxiety]

I didn't say I respected you. ^^

Rude, Zahliyabot!

[outofsynth]

Then I won't bother communicating with you.

[ezellotry]

Hey, my love, I'm going to need you to tone it down on the rudeness to strangers just a little bit. Can you please apologize to Min-Gi?

[eidxiety]

Why? :O

[ezellotry]

Because, I would prefer it if you didn't upset people. If someone asks something of you, you should really listen to them, else you'll hurt their feelings. Flamebringer, for example. He's tough enough to take it, even if he is generally mad at you, but that's not always going to be the case for others. Do you want people to be sad?

[outofsynth]

I'm not sad. I'm tired of people who can't be bothered to get two syllables right. It's not that hard.

[ezellotry]

Ah, I understand. Still frustration and sadness stem from a similar place. I think the explanation still holds water. Do you disagree? I will step off if you would rather.

[outofsynth]

I appreciate you trying, but what's the point? He obviously doesn't care.

[ezellotry]

He cares a lot about people. I can very confidently say if anything happens to anyone here at the Grove, Ain would be more than willing to help. He just doesn't understand, that's all. This sort of thing doesn't come intuitively to him.

He's one of the sweetest and gentlest people I know, it's just that sometimes he doesn't understand what he's doing wrong, that's all.

[outofsynth]

Look, I get he's important to you but he's been told. By more than one person. If he still doesn't get it then that's his problem. Having someone make excuses isn't going to help.

[ezellotry]

Sometimes people have a hard time understanding things that don't make sense to them. Ain has not had these experiences before, though it may seem common sense to us. It would be like trying to explain what colors are to someone who's never seen them before, you know? It's doable, it just takes time and patience.

I never said I was making excuses for him. I am not trying to excuse what he's doing at all - on the contrary, I am trying to get him to apologize to you. I understand if you are upset by it and want to just separate yourself entirely. I'm still going to try to talk to him about it, though.

[outofsynth]

I can see that. It's nice of you to try, but this is not the first time I've seen this. People make mistakes, but at this point he's choosing not to listen. Not even to you.

Talk to him if you want. I'm done though.

[ezellotry]

He's listening. He just doesn't understand. It's hard to explain.

I cannot apologize for him, but if there's anything I can do for you to ease some of this frustration, just let me know.

[outofsynth]

I think he understands a lot more than you're giving him credit for. That's all I have to say.

[eidxiety]

:D??

I don't like using people's names. ^^ It's a preference.

[ezellotry]

Do you think you could attempt to compromise, though, love? For people who are upset with their name, I mean.

[eidxiety]

Compromise how :O

[ezellotry]

A nickname the other person would be okay with, perhaps?

[eidxiety]

Like what :O

[ezellotry]

That would be something you would have to talk to the other person about, my love.

[ichoosefight]

Question, Ain, do you know what racism is? I ask because not everyone does.

[eidxiety]

No :O

[ichoosefight]

Right. You should ask your friends about it if you're curious, because I'm not really the best person to explain it fully.

What Ryan said about people not saying Min-Gi's name right? Sometimes people do that on purpose, because it sounds foreign and they don't like that. There are a lot of those people around back in our world. Those kinds of people can be really nasty, and sometimes they'll do a lot worse than just saying a name wrong. Sometimes they'll even get violent.

I don't think you're that kind of person, because you told Ryan you had your own reasons. I just thought you might like to know why that kind of thing can upset people sometimes.