sticksandbones | [CLOSED] it's not a date... unless?

... chemical conversion using machines... with the right technology, becomes unnecessary... change in the "taste" of air based on chemical process...?

[...

Yeah, uh. He does not hear a damn thing Wolfwood said. He is too absorbed in his own thoughts to hear that attempted dig, sorry.

He does snap back in for Ain, though, completely oblivious to whatever the fuck Wolfwood just said.]

It's indigestible, but it's not harmful to eat. Same idea as gold flakes, but with this much applied...

[Cutting into his weird steak... the inside looks normal? It smells okay? No poison detected... and he can't put this off forever, so finally, he tries a bite.

... well. The steak part is okay, but it's very crunchy. And tastes like metal. You know, from all the metal.]

It's... fine. [he manages to swallow it but no one can blame him for cutting around the platinum after this.]

[Well fine then, Wolfwood will just roll his eyes. God, what a nerd.

At least HIS food isn’t crunchy and metallic. It’s actually pretty damn good, albeit a bit messy. Thankfully some napkins materialized with his meal, so between these and the popcorn, he’ll be set for the next while. Hopefully getting some of that cider in him will mellow him out as well, but knowing Wolfwood it might just make him spicier.

They’re nearing the end of their ad breaks and opportunities to talk (without being rude to the holograms, anyway). Right now an ad for hovercars is playing, which is arguably the more normal of the ones they’ve seen so far. He mutters under his breath as he shoves popcorn in his mouth.]

Pretty sure food like that is just pretentious for the sake of it.

[read that as "an ad for hoyoverse" and was about to kill you for making genshin impact canon

Ain can hear the way that steak crunches and he wonders briefly how much the Neo Eden dentist costs... and also Wolfwood repeating himself to be a shit. He brushes the feathered end of his tail under Wolfwood's chin in a way that's meant to be shhhh be nice but probably comes across as flirting and/or trying to make him turtle.]

Can I try your apple cider? [ain that's NOT what that is, anyway guess who figures Wolfwood will say yes automatically and just grabs the glass to try it and immediately makes a face—] Mm. Wow, that's...

[He makes a vaguely disgusted noise, sips his mojito, and then leans into Add's space again. Hey stop being distracted—]

Can I try your drink? I'll trade you~.

[Notice how he like. Actually Waits with Add (because he knows better than to start taking)? Anyway y'all have t-minus 30 seconds until the movie starts, as if these assholes won't talk through the whole thing anyway. The lights are dimming as they speak...]

[Damn, I can't believe they added Paomin to the Hoyovercar 3.2 banner. No one even likes those high-pitched motors, who would risk getting that on a $200k roll??

Anyway, he does hear Wolfwood this time. Add clicks his tongue, sawing at the platinum coating with his knife.]

Some species require higher mineral intake. Machines can also make better use of such matter, but I wouldn't expect you to know about that. [wow wolfwood i can't believe you're robo-racist

He's making a face behind Ain's back as he takes a big ol' sippy of Wolfwood's drink. Ugh. Swapping mouth germs... that's basically kissing by proxy. His only comfort is that Ain seems to disapprove of the drink choice, maintaining Add's leading score despite the loss in food choice.

And yet, somehow, it still catches him by surprise when Ain asks him for a sip. Add freezes like a deer in headlights.]

Uh. I thought you tried it already? [He said that, didn't he??? Or... no, right, that was regular Sprite 3. The cherry adds an extra dimension of flavour... Ain has not tried this one.

Would a good friend... share, in this situation?

Is this worth a point?]

... S-sure, I guess. [holding out his drink like he is NOT nervous because it is NOT weird to share a sippy with your platonic bro it's FINE]

[Okay so the ONLY REASON Wolfwood keeps his mouth shut here is because he rolled a 2 instead of a nat 1…but also, he doesn’t want to upset Ain, so whatever. Kindof annoying that Add can get away with sniping at him, but then again Wolfwood started it, so. At least he’s not over there agonizing over a made up “score” when this is supposed to not even be a real date, at least on his end.

He takes mild offense to Ain’s disgusted noise over his drink, prompting him to pick up the bottle and turn it over in his hand. What, he doesn’t like cider? Sure, it’s beer, but…

Oh well, more for him.]

Uh huh…

[Chomp chomping his popcorn…all while watching Ain’s exchange with Add out of the corner of his eye.]

[Look, he'll get Add for being sassy in a Moment. He thinks the mojito might calm him down anyway...? Also no he doesn't like beer, he's a fruity girly drink kinda guy.

He steals Add's glass and replaces it with his own. Unfortunately for Add, he's about to find out real quick that Ain has chapstick on — not lipgloss because it's not a date, blessedly — that tastes vaguely like lychee.

Sip.]

This one is better than Sprite 3. Still crunchy, though.

[He likes the crunchiness of it, but it still doesn't feel exactly Correct going down. It's... It's got a texture, he'd say.

Add can have his drink back after that, just in time for Ain to hiss a "be nice" as the opening credits start. Suddenly his attention is not on the boys but on the food and the movie entirely — even if it's merely aerial shots of an open road and two travellers in a car, while a list of fake actor names sometimes fade in and out of the scene. After a minute or so, the actual dialogue begins — typical plot setup stuff, as all horror films tend to do.

Y'all thought Add was gonna thirdwheel but no, y'all are actually thirdwheeling to Ain and this horror film. RIP. Don't kill each other while he inhales his cheeseburger!]

[Wolfwood would care if he wasn't LOSING 5-3-2 obviously lmao loserrrrr get owned

This is not what's currently on Add's mind, though, because he's being handed a mojito before he can chicken out and now there is an Expectation that he's going to try some, knowing that Ain's lips were on this just moments before. Dwelling on it will only make this more difficult, so—

sippy]

... huh. Not bad? [He's never been a fan of alcohol but hmm. Maybe the fruity drinks are okay? He imagined it would be grosser, but he can't even tell Ain's spit is in there...

But he still knows, so. Sliding that drink back to it's rightful owner, he's going to spend a couple minutes silently staring at his Sprite 3 Cherry instead of drinking it as he thinks way too hard about the thin layer of barely-detectable residue left on the glass. He could wipe it off... or he could turn the glass around... either way, there's no reason for him to put his lips on the same spot Ain's were just a moment ago.

But.

But. If it affects the flavour... he should find out, right? Or he's not really "tasting" it, not properly.]

... cross examination process, comparing the flavour profile... same contaminant across both samples... [aaaand he's mumbling his thoughts out loud again, staring very intensely at his drink while Ain is focused on the movie. Normal shit.]

[Fortunately for Add and his bisexual crisis, Wolfwood doesn’t actually catch on to the weird way he’s acting about Ain trying his drink. He’s just looking at the screen now as the movie starts, though he’s definitely far less invested in it than Ain, who is VERY invested. Good, please have fun…you’ve been so depressed that he’s worried about you, and half of that has been Add’s own fucking fault.

…what he WILL do, since he’s near to the aisle, will shoo one of the nearby Dynamo out of his space when it hovers too close to him while scanning the perimeter. And by “shoo” I mean “swat at with his hand”.]

[Don't forget the part where everyone kept calling him the town whore and he died twice and he has general inadequacy issues lately and— well you get it.

Ain is not oblivious, though, as much as he's focused on the movie and wondering why these people make hovercars look so easy to drive. They are not easy to drive, but go off actors. More to the point, Ain watches out of the corner of his eye as Add has an entire fucking crisis about his chapstick. He briefly thinks that maybe he's grossed out, in which case he's about to offer to take it back and clean it off, but.

???

Fuck he should've worn the fruity lipgloss instead god dammit he could've had one W this entire night. His tail is wagging again, an audible thump against the floor, as he quickly shifts his gaze back to the movie and continues inhaling the rest of his food. It doesn't take long before he's ordering another mojito, either, sorry to Ezell's wallet in particular.

...

Eventually, the movie actually gets to the part where things are happening, though it's a slow and creepy build up. What appears to be possession, people sometimes completely breaking their in-character personas to beg for help before "resetting"... Ain is hooked. He is gone. You will both sit here and suffer through each other's presence while he gets a little too tipsy on mojitos.

Don't kill each other while he's gone (?)]

[He is having an entire gay crisis over here, but he's made his decision. Fuck the plot of this movie, he does not care about the plot of this movie anymore, all of his attention is focused on that tiny imprint of Ain-contaminated chapstick residue. He is doing science, damnit.

After spending way to much time thinking about this... as casually as he can manage (not very casually at all)(he is SWEATING), he raises the glass to his lips, overlaying the outline left by Ain. Gently pressing down, a tilt back, allowing it to mix with the more familiar flavour...

The material is completely different, but he can imagine... this taste might be similar to what Ain's lips are like.

If the surface were a bit softer...]

—Pshkk! [and then he nearly shoots soda out his nose when something SWATS his precious Dynamo. An enemy attack!!!!

it's just Wolfwood, actually. But he instantly whips his head around to shoot a glare at the other man behind Ain's back. Dynamo is perfectly fine, of course, but the swat makes them bob in the air for a moment and beep in a displeased manner. Rude!!!

Fortunately, this coincides with some kind of spooky visual jumpscare, so it comes off like Add got scared by that instead of Wolfwood... Ain may yet remain unawares.]

[This time, Wolfwood does not miss the choking sound Add makes, which prompts him to lean back to look at him sidelong as he munches on his popcorn. Lol, lmao even. Get fucking wreck’d, nerd. Add glares at him and Wolfwood just :) smiles back, waving at him with his fingers before turning his attention back to the movie as if he’d done nothing wrong.

Well actually, he WILL mouth behind Ain’s back before he does this:]

You scared? Awwww.

[Ain does not notice any of this :) He is thoroughly enjoying the suspicious ways in which the lead actress' character is acting. Sneaking around, having weird conversations with her parents about the main character, unplugging his phone so it won't charge and he won't be able to call anyone for help...

Yeah, the jumpscare does happen, and when Add very nearly chokes to death on Sprite 3, Ain just laughs because he's assuming this was At The Film and not because the boys are having a slapfight of some kind.

Just be careful arguing behind his back y'all because his bigass wings are Going to slap you in the face as they move. You Will be wing'd. You have No choice.]

[Add doesn't even know what's going on in this plot at this point but it's fine, there's exactly one (1) Dynamo poised over his shoulder actually paying attention. He'll have a detailed summary just in case Ain quizzes them on it later. Dynamo is having a good time on this date.

More importantly, Wolfwood thinks he can still catch up... well he's wrong. Add seethes, glaring despite the wingslaps making this very difficult to pull off for an extended period. Eventually he appears to give up, directing his glares at the theatre screen instead.

But there's no way he'd give up for real. No... this is a tactical decision. Lull Wolfwood into a false sense of security, thinking he's made Add surrender, then...

The next time there's a jumpscare on the screen, a dynamo under the seat delivers a brief but powerful electrical shock directly into where Wolfwood's ass would be. Your turn to cry, loser.

(Add also still jumps, but this is also why it's a tactical decision. Wolfwood yelping will distract from whatever embarrassing faces he makes on the other side. A flawless play.)]

[Man Add, you can’t go a single second without cheating, can you?

That’s what Wolfwood would say if he could, because the fact he has all of this tech to lean on and abuse makes it feel Very unfair, at least to Wolfwood. HE doesn’t have anything like that he can use to harass Add with, so suffice it to say he’s more than a little pissed when he feels something shocking him-]

Augh, fuck-!!

[He jumps in his seat, just barely managing to avoid dropping his popcorn on the floor as the inside part of the seat threatens to smash him into it when it springs upward with Wolfwood’s weight. He doesn’t even have time to shoot a look at Add, because Ain’s wings are in the way.]

[Ain starts giggling, because of course he does, because he thinks y'all are soooo scared of the horrifying psychological horror film. The violin sting resounds across the theatre and he hears Wolfwood scream and feels Add jump next to him, and in his inebriated state, this is the funniest thing.]

You guys sure are scared, huh~? [he has. NO IDEA there's an invisible scorecard and that Add is cheating. Ain meanwhile is not scared at all of horror films, he's having a fantastic time.] Nikolaus was scared of the drop tower ride at the amusement park too~. And the boat ride that takes you like—

[Here comes this drunkass explanation that sounds a bit like Laby would tell it, actually:]

Wheeee~ and you're sideways~ haha~.

[someone take that fucking order card away from him before he gets a third mojito and dies]

[Add starts chuckling deviously under his breath. Between Wolfwood's embarrassing shout and now this... he is keeping that lead for sure.]

Oh? Kukuku, I guess he's not such a tough guy at all, huh...? [and Add isn't scared of rollercoasters at ALL, so that's another point for him (somehow????)

Confident Wolfwood can't top his range advantage, he lets himself sit back and enjoy some more popcorn. He'll even dare to make a risky play... putting his arm over the back of Ain's seat. Yeah, that's right—just one wrong move and Ain will (accidentally) have Add's arm over his shoulders. Look at who sucks at being a good boyfriend now, huh??]

[Oh my god AIN.

Wolfwood bristles, his face turning red all the way to his ears, and before he can stop himself he hisses:]

Shut the fuck up.

[He pulls himself back after that, but only barely. ADD is out here crying every two seconds at the movie, which Wolfwood hasn’t been scared by once, so he has a lot of room to talk!!

He grits his teeth and looks away, face hot with embarrassment and anger, but that doesn’t mean he misses out of the corner of his eye the way Add puts his arm around Ain’s fucking chair? Excuse him? What happened to a PLATONIC outing??? Gay ass???????

He scoffs under his breath. He’d been good so far about keeping his hands to himself solely because he was asked to, but you know what? Fine.

Wolfwood, now endeavoring to ignore Add completely for the moment because he knows how much he hates not being the center of attention, reaches over and gently takes Ain’s free hand in his, threading their fingers together on top of the table between them. Yeah, try THAT on for size.]

[Ooooh the men are doing...

Ain, with his half-finished drink in his other hand, looks at Wolfwood and beams with the tip of his tail swaying. Aww, he said don't make Add feel like a third wheel, but... hehe, holding hands? Perfect, they could hide that easily.

He sets his drink down, wipes the condensation off on his jeans, and then reaches up with his now-dry but slightly cold hand to pull Add's arm down around his shoulders properly. He's too drunk to think otherwise, and the fact that his dragon tail starts audibly slapping the ground as this happens will tell them all they need to know. He is super pleased right now.

Ain's gonna lean back in his chair and continue sipping his drink now. Thank you so much for your attention, boys.]

[As if they could actually hide that while Ain is too drunk to know the men are bickering. His confidence shrivels up when he sees Wolfwood take Ain's hand—he scowls, angry, why does he get to hold his hand?? This is a platonic date! That's foul play, 100%!!!

but before he can act on any of those angry thoughts, there is a cold tug on his arm, and then warmth... it takes another few seconds for him to process that his arm is, in fact, resting comfortably across Ain's shoulders now. He stares blankly ahead, bewildered, frozen stiff.

... it's strange, how his entire body feels so much warmer now. The heat in this room must be unbearable.

He... does not move, despite the uncomfortable warmth. A dynamo starts spinning next to him like a little fan. He is having a lot of thoughts right now and he's not sure how to address any of them, so instead he's just going to stare at the movie screen like he's panicking inside and pretend everything about this is fine and normal.

He still jumps at the next spooky scene that happens (fuck), gripping Ain's shoulders on reflex.]

[Haha have fun with your gay crisis!! Wolfwood had his a looong time ago, he’s done this song and dance before.

At the very least, his wounded pride is soothed by this well enough, mostly because he’s getting to hold Ain’s hand regardless. He won’t, like, try to start making out with him or anything because that definitely wouldn’t be cool, but…God knows he’s thinking about it.

Anyway, what was going on with the movie? Wolfwood’s seen like, maybe a third of it at this point because he and Add have been too focused on taking secret potshots at each other. Oh fuck his sandwich too, he needs to finish that.

He will hold his bucket out wordlessly for Ain to have some more of his popcorn though, here you go babe.]

[The boys are fighting and Ain is having the time of his life. But wait, he only has one hand for popcorn and it's occupied by drink. Uhhhh...

Oh wait. He has a tail now. (He is rapidly losing all braincells.) The mojito, which is mostly just ice and mint bits now, gets passed over to the tail, and then his hand goes to the popcorn bowl. Multitasking! This cannot possibly go wrong, surely holding things with his tail will not be catastrophic as usual.

Proper movie theatre etiquette is about to go out the window though when Ain shimmies a tad in his seat, putting his feet up in Wolfwood's lap and leaning his head against Add's shoulder, only somewhat mindful of his horn-halo being kind of a nuisance. He is now fully lounging while the protagonist of the film fights for his life not to have sudden brain surgery and be officially possessed by some guy who wants to bodyjack him. Ain's drunk ass appreciates the mix of science and paranormal here... as much as he can, because he's currently snuggled up between two buff men.

This is definitely something he has nightly dreams about yeah. Too bad the seats aren't closer...]

[Add and Wolfwood have somehow achieved some degree of peace, purely driven by Ain being equally gay at them both. Add is still trying to process his feelings when the seating arrangement is shifted again—he can't even be mad about Ain's legs ending up in Wolfwood's lap thanks to Ain also snuggling up against his shoulder. His breath hitches, holding in a startled squeak. His palms feel incredibly sweaty inside his gloves, still gently gripping the angel's shoulder.

What is wrong with him tonight? Getting all worked up over... what? Some platonic male touching among friends?? Ain's horns are poking the side of his head and he isn't even fighting this. He should be annoyed. This is annoying! His personal space is a mockery right now, this is an insult!!

He needs to think about something else. Forget Ain, focus on the stupid movie—]

It's not even that unrealistic, but if they were serious about stealing his body they should've just gotten it over with quickly. No need to waste time with all the theatrics. Installing a mind control chip shouldn't take this much prep time, once it's in there it's just a matter of activation and overriding the host's will... [blah blah blah yeah he knows a lot about mind control, he may not be Overmind but he sure did have to disarm a mind control chip in himself once. Lots of experience to draw from!]

[While Add is over there quietly losing his mind, Wolfwood is slowly but surely cooling off. This will not last, but it’s better than being at Add’s throat in secret for the remainder of the film. He doesn’t seem bothered by Ain resting his legs in his lap, used to this sort of casual lounging at this point. He’ll finish his sandwich with his free hand, then focus on finishing his beer and popcorn once he’s done with it.

But, of course, Add can’t shut his mouth for even that long…Wolfwood’s kindof surprised Ain hasn’t hushed him since he seems so invested, but he’s also like. Drunk on mojitos, so. There’s that.]

Yeah, and then the movie would be over a half hour before the actual climax. [Wolfwood interjects in an undertone.] You really think he’s just gonna get snatched and that’s it, boom, movie over? They’re buildin’ up to a twist, obviously.

It'sh not a chip, [Ain slurs out, only just coherent enough to tell them the plot but not exactly coherent enough to think much on the fact Add seems to know about this stuff,] they're going to swap their soulsh. Their consh... conshushhness...nesses.

[Yeah.]

It'sh not the same as mind control 'cause it'sh in that sequence where he'sh being hypnosised into losing control of his body but he'sh shtill in there. It'sh different. [girl drink some fucking water] He'sh going to live out the rest of his life being tormented by [hiccups,] someone else controlling him while he get'sh to watch.

That! Ish the real horror.

[And then he grabs a whole-ass fistful of Wolfwood's popcorn and guns it all in one bite.]

[CLOSED] it's not a date... unless?

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1/2 cw: gay gay homosexual gay

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cw: seven paragraphs of introspective gay pining

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