The Festival of Bonds (Sticks Pride 2025)

[unheiring]

The A in LGBTQIA Stands For “All Hail"

H-O-T T-O G-O

For those of you that have spent the last few weeks in or around Night Vale, you’ve probably seen a handful of rainbow adorned signs here and there. Various events have been occurring throughout the town — the Night Vale Community Theater put on a very bawdy live performance of a book called Taken By The Gay Unicorn Biker, while the Night Vale Psychological Association has held various events gently reminding the public that it is okay to be straight. Most of these have been largely closed off to residents, though a few more generous souls might gently offer to let you in.

Around the 15th of the month, however, a load of new signs go up not just in Night Vale, but around the Grove. The culprit, of course, is one Luca Aurelius, who hurriedly puts up signs wherever one might see. Like the others, it’s similarly decorated in a colorful light prism, though the name is a little different.

Welcome to the Festival of Bonds

A list of events follows below the title. Of note:

• The Annual Night Vale Pride Parade
  
• A Drag Show and Karaoke Competition, featuring a special guest judge
  
• A Date Auction, hosted by Luca Aurelius
  
• And much, much more.

Ain’t Been OUT In Awhile Anyway

And much, much more happens to come far sooner than the rest of the festivities. Seemingly overnight, the town of Night Vale becomes a paradise of pride. Flags are unraveled and hang from every pole, window, and shoulder of the various citizens of the city. Various events erupt throughout the borough, both sanctioned and unsanctioned. The Car Lot hosts a Drag Drag Show, in which participants will be assigned to their corresponding sexualities or gender identities, and forced to assemble not only a safe and fabulous outfit, but participate in a race against the other teams.

Meanwhile, a sinkhole has opened up within Mission Grove Park, revealing the long forgotten Night Vale colosseum. Those who venture down will be captured and sent into the arena, where they will have five minutes to craft the most sturdy glowstick weapon and fight their competitor. The first one to break and spill glow goo all over its fighter will be deemed the loser.

Several booths are also present, throughout town. Many of them house non-descript photobooths which, when stepped into, will change the outfit of whoever stepped in to a coordinating outfit to their sexuality or gender — whether they’re aware of it or not. Thankfully, there are plenty of charts to decode the colors. Have fun learning about yourselves!

Of course, you might also come out wearing a rainbow poncho. It’s a good thing that you did, because right as you do, the Glow Cloud (all hail) appears. A rain of painted and dyed animals falls from its fluffy, glowing depths. Thankfully, these animals are all alive for once. Thank you, Glow Cloud (all hail).

On the night of the full moon, of course, several citizens crawl out of the woodwork, heading into the dust of the desert. They’ll drag you along if you’re not careful, too. Why? It’s time for the gender neutral bellowing to the ancient gods. Make sure you’re dressed to impress, just in case they arrive.

Meanwhile, the volunteer committee for Wrath Month is more than happy to tell anyone about their upcoming ball drop, which marks the end of June and the transition into July. Anyone nearby is encouraged to write the name of their most beloathed and drop it into the massive crystal ball. When the ornate structure shatters on the final night of June, the names will be scattered to the wind. The Wrath Committee happily reminds you that ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇꜱ.

On a happier note, many of your own seem to have adjusted well to the festivities. Pavlova Cookie has opened up a tent a ways away from the festivities. The quiet, when paired with the soft pillows and blankets adorning every surface within the tent, makes for a cozy atmosphere. It’s perfect for the service Pavlova Cookie offers — Relationship Advice.

We're All Friends Of Dorothy And So Is My Horse

As you’ve probably come to expect with Night Vale, nothing about the Pride Parade is anywhere close to normal. Each passing group gets a little louder, a little prouder than the last. And the parade? It doesn’t stop. For days, they trudge on and on throughout Night Vale. Want to cross the street? Too bad, you’ll be waiting for an hour or two? About to go on a jog? Good luck getting through the crowd.

If asked how they manage to be everywhere, the members simply respond “We’re here and we’re queer.” Great. Helpful.

Thankfully, each section of the parade has a banner announcing themselves. It’s probably the only way you might distinguish some of the participants, considering the weird shticks each group seems to have going. Notably:

• Every member of the transgender track club is entirely invisible. Their clothes and adornments are not.
  
• A green-tinted glass float goes by, sponsored by the antique shop. Two men sporting matching MLM capes cryptically remind you “doɥS ʇ,uoᗡ 'ʇdop∀”. At night, the float is accompanied by black lights, revealing an eerie glow from the float itself.
  
• The Aces and Arrows poker and archery club hosts a mobile display, featuring targets color coded to the Ace and Aro flags. The poker players throw their cards with deadly precision, while archers deftly shoot through any cards that land in the bullseye.
  
• The standing pansexual army is adorned in armor sourced entirely from their kitchens
  
• The Sapphic Sword Fighting team participates in a unique dance of swordplay and theater. A dragon dodges out of the group every few blocks and steals the hottest woman they can find. There may be makeouts.
  
• A float with a banner declaring “Protect the Dolls” rolls through. A number of life-sized ball jointed dolls stare eerily into your soul. For those of you who are not out to yourselves yet, a number of realizations may occur soon after.
  
• There's a gay float brought to you by the joyous congregation of the smiling god, who misunderstood the assignment. Gay vore enthusiasts may still find something to love about this, I’m not your dad.
  
• The kink pride group is infiltrated by a number of bears in leather gear. Any homophobes in the audience will be ritually fed to them.
  
• The local association of realtors have created their own float. Unfortunately, it is occupied by a number of deer. Fortunately, they are very in the spirit of the festival, and will be throwing candy and mardi gras beads into the crowd.
  

Anyone is welcome to participate. Hell, if you don’t, you might just get dragged into the celebration should someone clock you. Or just want to give you hell. Welcome to the black Gay Parade

Always, I Wanna Be With You

Before the final party can begin, and before the divas walk the runway, one very important matter of business has to be taken care of. Luca takes his place on the stage, holding a number of envelopes, each adorned with a heart and a different name on it.

“When I call your name, please step up to the stage. We’ll start each bid at ten shells, and go until you see fit to stop.” Luca flashes a grin to the crowd and begins pulling out envelopes. Some of you probably expect your name to come up — you did sign up , after all. Others, however, will be very surprised when their own is called. Unfortunately, the submission box has developed a mind of its own.

Well… Have fun with that.

I Wanna Make A Supersonic Man Out Of You

Once the dates have been assigned, the fun really begins. Music begins playing at full volume, sending pounding beats through the whole building. Yes, there is a disco ball. Of course there is foam. And all the left over glow sticks have been broken, leaving you to paint whatever glowing nonsense you want on your skin.

Of course, halfway through the night, the crowd settles down as the lights on a nearby stage come on. The drag show is about to begin. Volunteers are welcome, but if the stage goes empty for too long, characters will find that there will be consequences. Namely, the arrival of the Sphere, which hovers above unsuspecting victims performers. There is no way out. Attempts to dodge the responsibility by insisting you’re not dressed for it will result in you being deposited in front of a nearby photobooth.

There’s only one thing to be done. Lipsync for your life

Spark Notes

summary

• Photobooths that will assign random outfits. These will be color coordinated to whatever pride flag you feel your character identifies with..
  
• Or they’ll get rained on by the glow cloud
  
• Enjoy drag races in drag at the car lot.
  
• Bellow to the new moon if you feel like it
  
• Sign up for wrath month by entering the name of your worst enemy.
  
• Fight to the glowy death (not really) in the newly revealed Night Vale Colosseum.

There are also three “main” events:

• A pride parade featuring various displays. Yes, you can join in. Or you can get dragged in. I guess you can also be eaten by the bears, I’m not your dad.
  
• A date auction, in which your character can be “accidentally” entered or voluntarily do so. Please sign up here if you haven’t
  
• A big old party occurs, interrupted by a massive drag show. Like before, your character can willingly go up on stage, or be randomly selected by the Sphere.
  

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Comments

[thebladebringstheflame]

[Two gays duking it out... the toxic yaoi girlies on twitter would love this...]

You're the one who's going to get your sword shattered.

[They are Glowsticks, y'all, they're only so sturdy. You're going to have an awful fucking time when they explode Instantly all over both of you due to the force used and you whine and cry for a redo.]

Come at me, sheygets.

[i wish you were normal]

[lupusxylem]

[Honestly correct, this is absolutely what will eventually happen, but for now Wolfwood rolled a nat 20 so his glowstick weapon is just made of steel suddenly I don't know-

He WILL however come at Flamebringer first with little hesitation, and while he might normally try to fake him out with a feint or something, this time? He just comes at him head-on, mostly because these are glowsticks and he has no qualms bap bap bapping him with them as hard as he possibly can.]

[thebladebringstheflame]

[Wolfwood attacks!! Flamebringer fails to block! The glowsticks go thunk right on his head! The crowd goes wild! Ballistic, even!

Taking this far too seriously, Flamebringer tries to kick Wolfwood back before turning the tides and attempting to clonk him on the noggin.

This is what they mean when they say boys will be boys btw]

[lupusxylem]

[If anybody wanted to see some boys boying, look no further than these idiots right here. All they know how to do is boy.

Just like Flamebringer, Wolfwood gets smacked right in the middle of his big stupid head with Flamebringer's glowsticks with enough force to make a comical sound about it. It really is more funny to watch than exciting, but the crowd doesn't seem to care about all of that. They want to see them smack each other around and that's exactly what they're doing.

Because he wasn't expecting to be smacked so suddenly, Wolfwood swings and ends up swinging a little wild, going too wide and missing Flamebringer entirely. It's close enough that he'll hear the whistle and feel the wind from it as it whizzes past his head, but no dice.]

Augh-!

[thebladebringstheflame]

[Flamebringer actually whistles as that whizzes past. Wow!]

Ha!

[With that miss setting Wolfwood back, Flamebringer is on him, lunging in with what would ordinarily be a vicious and murderous attack... but it's with a glowstick wand, and the most that'll happen is maybe half a bruise with how hard Flamebringer is trying to beat Wolfwood's ass with it. He's going to full-body tackle the man to the ground and try to wail on him if he's not stopped.]

[lupusxylem]

[It's a hilarious display. Wolfwood doesn't have time to catch himself or regain his footing, and before he knows it, Flamebringer has tackled him to the floor and is BONK BONK BONKing him with his glowsticks. It's literally like watching two kids brawling at a birthday party pinata incident gone wrong, except they're both grown men in various flavors of animal currently.

Actually, this is probably exactly what everyone who came to this thing came out to see, so anyone watching is just going berserk. They're cheering for Flamebringer, who is- again- beating Wolfwood's ass.]

Fucker-!

[Wolfwood is going to attempt- read, attempt- one last time to twist himself around enough to grab his glowsticks that he dropped, mainly so he can get a few good swings in before he has to tap out. Or before Flamebringer just snaps the things over his head.]

[thebladebringstheflame]

[BONK BONK BONK

He's laughing. Don't look now, but he's got this stupid smirk on his face and he's laughing. Their glowstick swords collide, Flamebringer tilts to one side to try dodging, and with one final hit...

His sword breaks, and glowstick fluid goes all over both of them in a spray of rainbow.

That's what happens when you use your native strength to beat the shit out of a guy, you see.]

[lupusxylem]

[Although Flamebringer's weapon broke first, it's very clear who the decisive victory has gone to in this case. Everyone cheers at the display, and as if to add insult to injury, Wolfwood's own weapon kindof breaks off at the end on its own as the dust settles. It didn't explode, sure, but it's not really usable as a beatin' stick anymore now is it?

He pushes himself up to his feet, not really hurt at all because these two could be using real blades and guns and would still barely feel it. More than anything, he's just covered in rainbow colored gunk. Ain is going to find him later and be like :0 Where did you get that I want that-]

Ugh. I coulda' had that.

[thebladebringstheflame]

Coulda. [He echoes, still sitting on Wolfwood and laughing.] Didn't.

[He's shaking the glowstick goo off his fingers, letting it drip onto the ground.]

Technically, I think the winner was the one whose weapon didn't break. [Or something like that. He didn't pay that much attention; he heard "beat the shit out of someone with glowsticks" and said "word".]

[lupusxylem]

[The winner may have been whose weapon didn't break, but as far as Wolfwood and Flamebringer are concerned, Flamebringer won. He won that handily. The crowd also seems to not care about the specifics of who won either, it was just fun watching these guys duke it out since they took it so seriously.

Wolfwood, meanwhile, is moving to try to shove Flamebringer off so he can get up and shake himself off.]

Tch. I wanna go again.

[Okay well you're going to have to go get more glowsticks then.]