[ Luca mentions grief and Aira's hand moves to the headband wrapped aroud his wrist, biting his lip as he ran his thumb across it. ]
... I'm... no stranger to grief. I've lost friends pretty recently. Though I know they'd tease me for calling them friends.
[ But he won't say more than that. He doesn't need to ruin the atmosphere more. They'd want him to have fun. They'd want him to let go. He knows that. They're sweet people deep down... but he doesn't want to let go yet. ]
I'm sure everyone here has lost people though. I'll be okay.
Losing someone at such a young age is... difficult.
[Aira was the same age as Luca when he experienced his first loss. It makes his heart ache all the more, thinking about it.]
If I have learned anything, it is that we cannot compare our grief to one another. Yes, people here have lost a great deal. But that doesn't change that you have hurt. That you continue to hurt.
[Luca seems satisfied with the current status of prep work. He shifts himself, leaning back against the counter as he glances toward the ceiling.]
Feel your grief. Every ounce of it. As someone who tried his best not to, I know better than anyone that you'll only come to regret it, if you do not.
My partner lost his brother and his boyfriend, his only family, and then our unitmate went missing and the other was dropped into that hell with no warning...
[ He shook his head. ]
I was so busy trying to make sure they didn't let themselves waste away, I couldn't really...
[ But is that really an excuse or is he just trying to reason with himself over something he could have worked around? He wanted to be strong for them. To prove their sacrifices for him weren't for nothing... He's never going to forgive himself. ]
[If they knew each other better, he might reach out. Even a ruffle of the hair might be appreciated in a moment like this. Instead, all Luca can really do is offer a pitying glance, one that glimmers with far too much recognition and familiarity.]
It's hard to fight the urge to be the one that pulls people together. I get it.
[He pulls at his sleeve, revealing a thin bracelet with one small jewel within the center. He stares at it fondly, even if the power no longer flowed through it.]
After my partner disappeared, things were... complicated. And the only thing I could think to do was try to pull others together. Free drinks. This celebration... All of it is far easier than considering my own grief.
It felt like... like it was either pull them together or join them in wasting away until the demons and undead got us and... I'd rather keep moving than wallow.
[ Because their sacrifice would mean nothing if they just sat there. ]
I don't even know how to begin considering it anyway, I think. I knew them but it also felt like I barely understood them at the end. They'd done things for me I couldn't even fathom them doing in our world. It just...
[ He wraps his arms around himself and bites his lip. ]
Everything that happened in that awful place feels like a nightmare. I miss everyone so badly...
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... I'm... no stranger to grief. I've lost friends pretty recently. Though I know they'd tease me for calling them friends.
[ But he won't say more than that. He doesn't need to ruin the atmosphere more. They'd want him to have fun. They'd want him to let go. He knows that. They're sweet people deep down... but he doesn't want to let go yet. ]
I'm sure everyone here has lost people though. I'll be okay.
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[Aira was the same age as Luca when he experienced his first loss. It makes his heart ache all the more, thinking about it.]
If I have learned anything, it is that we cannot compare our grief to one another. Yes, people here have lost a great deal. But that doesn't change that you have hurt. That you continue to hurt.
[Luca seems satisfied with the current status of prep work. He shifts himself, leaning back against the counter as he glances toward the ceiling.]
Feel your grief. Every ounce of it. As someone who tried his best not to, I know better than anyone that you'll only come to regret it, if you do not.
no subject
[ He tugs at the headband, eyes going downward. ]
My partner lost his brother and his boyfriend, his only family, and then our unitmate went missing and the other was dropped into that hell with no warning...
[ He shook his head. ]
I was so busy trying to make sure they didn't let themselves waste away, I couldn't really...
[ But is that really an excuse or is he just trying to reason with himself over something he could have worked around? He wanted to be strong for them. To prove their sacrifices for him weren't for nothing... He's never going to forgive himself. ]
no subject
[If they knew each other better, he might reach out. Even a ruffle of the hair might be appreciated in a moment like this. Instead, all Luca can really do is offer a pitying glance, one that glimmers with far too much recognition and familiarity.]
It's hard to fight the urge to be the one that pulls people together. I get it.
[He pulls at his sleeve, revealing a thin bracelet with one small jewel within the center. He stares at it fondly, even if the power no longer flowed through it.]
After my partner disappeared, things were... complicated. And the only thing I could think to do was try to pull others together. Free drinks. This celebration... All of it is far easier than considering my own grief.
no subject
[ Because their sacrifice would mean nothing if they just sat there. ]
I don't even know how to begin considering it anyway, I think. I knew them but it also felt like I barely understood them at the end. They'd done things for me I couldn't even fathom them doing in our world. It just...
[ He wraps his arms around himself and bites his lip. ]
Everything that happened in that awful place feels like a nightmare. I miss everyone so badly...