[netbook] rip

[eidxiety]

Hi... has anyone seen Aventurine? Hopefully alive?? :(

I'll even take "at all" at this point.

He's tall, has fluffy blonde hair, gorgeous eyes that he usually hides behind his sunglasses, and dresses usually in a tailcoat. Let me know if anyone finds him :(

[You know it's serious when Ain's out here dropping real names...]

Comments

[mooninthewater]

It has been busy for everyone. Do not worry. I’m here for when you need me.

That said, even if you find something out, no matter how bad or good, I don’t believe calling it “hopeless” is correct…

[eidxiety]

Can I come have a mental breakdown at the therapy building :(

[mooninthewater]

I’ll prepare some tea and blankets.

[eidxiety]

Yay :(

[And then Ain will drag his sorry butt to the therapy building (it'll be a second, he's become Fish so he has to dry off and dress himself and etc)

walk into the lobby

lay on the couch. Scream.]

[mooninthewater]

[ He is immediately getting a blanket draped on him, and tea is set on a table nearby. After, Mizuki hops on the bouch next to him to rub his back. ]

[eidxiety]

[Ain will accept the blanket, but he's going to be face-in-pillow for a minute or two longer while he composes himself. It's... admittedly very difficult to compose himself, but he's trying his best.]

Mr. Jellyfish... I'm tired.

[mooninthewater]

I doubt there's anyone here who would fault you for being so. You've truly been through so much, Ain. But I'm here if you want to talk about what's on your mind.

[eidxiety]

I guess... I'm sick of feeling like I fail everyone I care about, maybe? And I'm tired of feeling hopeless and worn-down, and wondering when the next time I'll die is, or who else is going to be taken from me. I know this feeling is normal, considering the circumstances we're in, but...

I've tried to track people. Look after them, but keep them in my sights, and I guess I was too overwhelmed and missed him.

[mooninthewater]

Unfortunately, I believe that if Mister the Forest is going to take someone away, he's going to do it regardless of what precautions you have put in place. Even if you keep your eyes on them and never leave their side, he'll figure out the moment you blink and take them away.

But that is not on you, Ain. You are not failing anyone because he's taken them away. No one thinks that. And, he isn't gone forever. It might take some time, but if we're able to restore the forest and get Mister the Forest out of it, I'm sure we'll be able to get all of our friends back.

[eidxiety]

[Sniffles... Ain thinks to himself that he's going to murder Mister the Forest with his bare fists, but he doesn't say that. It's hard to make empty threats when he was the first one to die last time they tried.]

I think that, though.

[That's all he says. Not much of an argument when, logically, he knows Mizuki's correct... but Ain still can't shake the feeling that things are his fault, that if he was stronger and better and more observant he'd already have figured everything out and gotten them out of here.]

[mooninthewater]

I understand. Unfortunately, the people hardest on us are ourselves.

I believe these parts of ourselves - the harsh critical part I mean - are tricky to deal with. We cannot ignore or bottle it up, as that will exacerbate the feelings down the line. But we also cannot let them run rampant, or they will consume us. Rather, I think you should try accepting it in a gentler manner, Ain. Um, for example... Acknowledging your hurt now, but instead of festering on the "what could I have done"s, ask what you might be able to do in the future?

[eidxiety]

...I can tie everyone I like down so they can't leave.

[NO, AIN]

[mooninthewater]

They'll be unhappy with you if you do that. I pulled Elsword away from the fight with Suri to protect him, and he was furious with me.

People don't like when their free will are taken away from them, for some reason? I couldn't really explain it, it's just an observation I've made.

[ The back rubs do continue, even though Mizuki makes himself a bit more comfortable on the bouch. ]

You could eat them. That's what I do, so I'll always have those I love with me.

[eidxiety]

I don't know if it works the same for angels as it does for Seaborn, Mr. Jellyfish... I don't technically have "cells" to fuse with theirs.

[The fact that he's actually considering this, though.]

[mooninthewater]

Hmm... But you still absorb nutrients, don't you?

[ Mizuki is questioning the logistics of Angels now... ]

[eidxiety]

I don't think so. Food doesn't give me energy. I can subsist entirely off of El Energy, I just like eating because it's what humans do...

[The logistics of angels are that they don't work :( ]