sticksandbones | EVENT 30

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EVENT 30

A USED UP BULLET CASING

The air is cold, the sky dreary. Ever since your return to Aldric’s Grove, the chill in the air is as bitter and sharp as a knife. The scent of stew from the General Store’s windows is comforting, almost as much as the teas Ydalir is handing out if you pass by her tent. Nene puts baskets of her fresh produce on every doorstep or before the doors of people’s rooms in the inn, and Evan and Rillian join her sometimes, the two also handing out sweaters or cloaks. It’s not going to be as bad as last year, but a bitter winter is coming. It’s best to be prepared, isn’t it?

As the winter approaches, plantimals busy themselves to prepare as best they can, too. Pinecone squirrels harvest away nuts while one by one birds move as close to warmth as they can — and that may well just be Sehul and Aurora’s domains. The river water is clear as ever and even colder, with only the blessed trees and bushes still flowering and bearing fruit.

Yet nothing prepares anyone for the green mist, knee-high at the lowest, waist-high at the highest. It smells earthy and grassy, almost floral like a garden,and it pours out of the research hall.

There’s a chill in the air. Something… strange is happening, yet again.

THE AFTERMATH OF SOMETHING LETHAL

The mist is not the only thing that follows. In your homes, walking around the slowly rebuilding town, resting in the inn — all over, there are ghosts, and they all look painfully familiar. After all… it's not every day you get to see your face without a mirror.

Ghosts of the former residents of the Grove have followed where the mist flows, fragments of history that are part of you given form. Some look pristine, like they’d simply gotten up and got dressed like any normal day. Others look bloodied and wounded, clearly killed and still persisting. None seem bothered by their state — if anything, the lot are curious about the changes that have been made to the Grove, or about you.

Of course they know you. They know your pains, the life you’ve lived, they’re part of you after all… though some ghosts know the full extent better than others. You must have something you want to say, don’t you? Or… maybe you’re approached by the ghost of another soul, with something else in mind.

AN ECHO OF INFLICTED EVIL

cw: a brief instance of animal death

Within the heart of it all stands a woman almost eight feet tall, maybe more. There is an unearthly glow to her green eyes, and she wears a black gown that looks like it’s meant for a funeral and a garden party in the same day. Draped in her arm is a basket as she talks to various blooms, and occasionally she may… pluck at a passing by animal, placing a silvery light within the basket as the animal comes to a stop and finds its final rest.

She looks at each resident of the Grove as she walks, poking and pulling at things that cannot be seen — from the air, from the buildings, from you-

And then she keeps on walking, pausing only at the fog barrier.

“... What a troubling scene this sets. And the rot in the roots… beastly, isn’t it? What a shame that I cannot be here in full to set this straight.” She hums thoughtfully, before finally she stops and sits down.

“Come along now, then. I’m sure you all have questions.”

So, will you talk to Morrigan the Lady Death?

... SO COMES SNOW AFTER FIRE ...

With talking to Morrigan comes a task: close the door once more. Once this is done, the Grove settles again, a blanket of quiet settling over the little village finally. Time passes, and once the first snow starts to fall, Heimr calls everyone to the inn. White snowdrops are painted along the banisters, the door frames and windows, and warm spices and savory smells waft through the air.

Renard is dishing up different plates as you come in, and he smiles radiantly with a wave. Later on he might show off some of his creations, or hand you an instrument.

Music flows through the dining room as Ydalir feeds the fire, and some of Callisto’s meads and wines — flavored or simple honey — eventually turn up on the table. It’s nice not to be alone, right?

Unfortunately it might be ruined when Heimr sets out what looks to be a deck for UNO. And a stack of other board games. But UNO is the killer, here. UNO may just ruin your carefully-crafted friendships with everyone here. …please don’t let it do that. You’ve already been through so much together, and there’s so much more to come.

Spark Notes

summary

A USED UP BULLET CASING Fall is here and winter is fast approaching. The residents of the Grove are trying to help take care of player characters after the past two months of hardships... but one night, a green mist spills out of the Research Hall.
THE AFTERMATH OF SOMETHING LETHAL All throughout the Grove, the ghosts of your past lives linger waiting to speak to you- or to the ones you love. They know your life, though the intimate details may vary, and can be touched. And linger they will! They're very curious, you know.
THE ECHO OF INFLICTED EVIL Morrigan the Death wanders the town, poking and prodding at the magics in play. Whatever she's found, however, they have decided can wait. After all, you probably have questions, don't you?
... SO COMES SNOW AFTER FIRE ... After the Door to the Afterlife has been closed- presumably by you, someone's got to do it- and Morrigan has presumably also left, Heimr decides it's time for another community meal. And this time, he brought board games! Please do not kill each other over Monopoly.

out of character

Welcome to November! Thank you very much to Jami for allowing us to use their past life plotting and location for this event, and to Aspen for helping facilitate it ICly!. This has been a long time coming, and now you get to meet another force of nature: Death!

AC will be check-in for November and December before resuming regularly. September and October are the last TDM of the year, and we encourage you to reuse them as desired if current players wish to test new characters, or if new players want to break the ice! We check the TDMs regularly.

updates

Any potential updates, such as characters damaging something important or whatever else, will be put here.

submissions

❖ Questions
❖ November Plotting
❖ Past Life Plotting (Closed to Game Members)
❖ Investigations

code

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[well... kyojuro surprises hakuji, but doesn't disappoint him. he couldn't be happier to be wrong about this -- as kyojuro says, he already knows how much pain and guilt his husband harbors. it's truly a relief that it isn't shared with this reincarnation.

unlike kyojuro, though, hakuji feels plenty responsible for the actions of his future self. as easy as it is to consider akaza an other due to their differences...]

... I know he lost more than I ever did, and there were forces at play he had no chance at overcoming. I know he's trying. [there's an unspoken but to his tone, one that kyojuro may or may not be able to guess at. even hakuji, for as perfect as his life may have seemed before their world went to shit, shares at least one core trait with akaza.

he looks down at the hand on his shoulder, then back up to meet kyojuro's gaze. there's longing and admiration in his own, something not too far removed from the way he looked at his husband back at the dojo. it simply doesn't feel like it's his place to instigate anything. he'd probably get carried away.]

You're very kind. Your love for others is just as plain. [for everyone, but also for certain parties.] I hope that you see it returned -- if that's what you want.

[That but is not at all lost on Kyojuro. Despite the warm touch he refuses to rescind, there is a warning in his gaze as he lifts his eyes. He knows that it's not necessarily his place to tell Hakuji what he can and cannot feel about his reincarnated form, especially when he knows how easy it is for Akaza to blame himself. There is not a doubt in his mind that the trait goes both ways. That does little to help the surge of frustration that courses through him.]

He is trying. [It speaks to just how frustrating Akaza's own self-deprecation is, the way Kyojuro's tone borders on vehemence.] I can only imagine how difficult that is to see, after centuries of watching him. But I have seen his growth even in the scant few weeks we have spent together.

[Nevertheless, he still basks in that singular point of contact between them. For all his frustration, there is attraction and longing, too. Finding that portrait had truly been a curse, as it had unlocked and amplified his desire to such a terrible degree. And now, standing before him is all of that hope made manifest. It's a difficult thing to resist indeed, and he can only thank his herculean self-restraint for keeping him from taking things any further.

That, and Hakuji's own reminder of the true source of those feelings.]

It is indeed. But at this point... [He sighs, both hand and eye dropping.] It will be up to Akaza, where things go. I will not deny him his hesitation, his mourning.

[In the end, he shakes his head, and opts to fold his arms over his chest.]

Was it any better with the two of you?

[hakuji doesn't argue kyojuro's point; he means well, he's passionate, he cares. and for how long hakuji has spent hating himself, watching himself make ever-worsening bad decisions and actions, one after another...]

Thank you. Thank you for believing in him, setting him on the right path. Caring about him. We both know he'd be a lot worse off without you. [if he had walked into the sun that first day, he would probably still be here, but he'd be crippled for it.

a smile finally returns to hakuji's face, even though their contact breaks. he moves around the room, pulling a couple of chairs a companionable but not overly familiar distance from one another and nodding for kyojuro to have a seat near him.]

I'm pretty nervous about that sort of thing at first. Attraction, emotional or physical. Especially since I was already engaged to Koyuki when we met him. I didn't know it was allowed to like multiple people if everyone agreed -- and I don't believe he did, either. Koyuki, on the other hand... sometimes I don't know if we were more frustrating or amusing to her, the way we both danced around it for so long.

Someone must.

[Kyojuro knows how important even a single influential voice could be. At the same time, he's managed to figure out enough about Akaza's past to know that those who did had been erased by both time and powers beyond his control. Kyojuro could only imagine just how untethered he himself might have been, if not for his own vows and commitments to keep him on a steady course.

As the chair is offered to him, Kyojuro sits down. Though he laments the more companionable distance compared to the position they had only just held, he does not let it show upon his face. Instead, he commits himself to studying Hakuji's traits, the minor things that a painting could not pinpoint. There is so much life to be found in the shine of his eyes, the curve of his lips, and the lines around his face.

But just as he finds himself enamored by those traits, they also wound him. These were all outcomes that had been ripped from Akaza, after all.]

I have never had the pleasure of meeting Koyuki but... from all I have seen, she is very, ah... wise about these matters. [He feels the tips of his ears warm as he recalls those excerpts within her desk.] She really was not bothered by the extension of your love?

[even though some of kyojuro's words feel quite pointed, hakuji doesn't take offense. really, it's nice that someone still gives enough of a shit about akaza to stand beside him. every god and buddha knows that hakuji wouldn't have that strength.

his smile only broadens. it's still on the small side compared to akaza's, but it's warm nonetheless. the lines faintly etched into his face are from both laughter and stress -- signs of a life well-lived, he might argue -- but he supposes looking on the bright side at the moment isn't too much to ask.]

Bothered? No. She thought it was sweet at first, encouraged me to test my luck. The more we got to know you -- him -- she saw what I did, too. I think we might never have been brave enough to pursue anything if she hadn't instigated with both of us, actually. [his eyes turn up in a gleeful smile, a warm chuckle bubbling from his chest.]

[It speaks to his character, how well Hakuji handles the more aggrieved words. From everything Kyojuro has gathered, both from Akaza and the man himself, he's nothing short of honorable. Thus, he can only imagine how difficult it must been to see himself mae such devastating choices. If the roles were reversed, if his past self hadn't clearly been under the influence of something beyond themselves, he suspects he might have been in a similar boat.

{And gods, if that smile doesn't absolutely make his hear ache. Hakuji wears his age heartbreakingly well.}]

If I have learned anything over these past few weeks, it is that Koyuki seems to bring out the best in anyone. [Which... almost makes him sad, in a way. The only way he might ever be able to meet her would be if she were brought to this place. It's the last thing Kyojuro could ever want.]

I suppose I can only hope, then, that Akaza learns that truth before long.

[Kyojuro himself won't force it, though, much as he might want to. If it comes at all, it will have to come naturally.]

[even though the door hasn't been open terribly long (hours or days, he isn't entirely sure with the forest now befuckening the passage of time here) hakuji's smile turns wistful in response to kyojuro's hypothesis. him when five milliseconds no wife.]

She really does.

[he blinks at kyojuro and contemplates their situation a bit more.]

... I wish I could do more to help, y'know. I'd just hate to ruin it for you, trying to force it. [begging the question that being an item is what either of them wants, in their current iterations. he's pretty sure, given that he knows akaza's mind, and has seen and heard kyojuro's reactions to everything...] If you want him, the best thing you can do is continue as you are, with patience and compassion. But I think you already know that. [he also thinks kyojuro doesn't know any other way to be, but that feels almost cruel to speak aloud.]

[Ah, Kyojuro's pretty sure he knows that look. And while Hakuji might be his senior, he's still smaller than him so... Don't mind him reaching out and ruffling the man's hair. No he's not thinking about how soft it is, leave him the fuck alone.]

You will see her again soon enough, I am sure. I know how the souls that live here are. They will not leave this business unfinished for long.

[In any case, Hakuji certainly doesn't have to doubt the depth of Kyojuro's feelings. He hangs onto every word the man speaks, after all. Never mind the way he absolutely drinks him in. If things were different, if he didn't intimately know who the man really was, perhaps he would have made a move. He certainly would have, if they were back home.]

You can rest assured that my path forward has not changed, though. I will continue to embrace Akaza as he is, with everything that I am. Or at least... as best as I can, well respecting my own heart.

[It's such a fine line to walk, for someone who loves as boldly, loudly, and passionately as Kyojuro, after all. But if he has to figure it out, he will. Akaza is his friend, first and foremost.]

You're right. [as much as he does miss koyuki, it's best to value what little time he'll get with people like young kyojuro, here. his eyes close in contentment at the little ruffle; it's a familiar gesture to hakuji, and that fact endears kyojuro to him all the more.]

That's good. Even if you want to help or please him, never forget how important you are, Kyojuro. [even though his smile remains gentle, there's a melancholy in his eyes that begets recognition.] After all, for as much as you dedicate yourself to defending and uplifting others, you're also a human being with hopes and needs.

If it's ever difficult to sympathize with yourself, to be kind to yourself, try to think of yourself as a loved one -- how would you want to treat your friend, your partner, your brother? Our family taught me that, to keep in mind during the times I struggle the most.

[Ah... Kyojuro finds his hand pausing within that hair. He probably should have pulled it out long ago, but now here they are. It only makes sense that Hakuji would see right through him. Still, he finds himself shifting on his feet, stunned into temporary silence.

Eventually, though:]

Am I really so obvious?

[Of course he is. He's the reflection of one of the people Hakuji loves most. Maybe that's why it feels the slightest bit easier to open up. Surely these burdens are not new to him. Maybe he might even have some insight from Kyojuro's own alternate self.]

I do not know how it was for him, but I am the product of many generations of strength and expectations. The hopes of countless souls, both past and present, lie upon my shoulders. To be anything less, to falter in my own strength... It is a thought I cannot stomach.

[hakuji may hope that one couldn't blame him for lifting a hand to lay upon kyojuro's. it feels much the same as his husband's, rough and calloused from dedicated training, strong and warm and meant to protect. he takes the hand in his own and removes it from his hair, lowering it to hold it between them both.]

Being "obvious" isn't always a bad thing.

[kyojuro's hand gets a gentle little squeeze before hakuji releases it. as much as he enjoys the contact, it only makes him crave more, and that isn't at all fair to kyojuro, who has been laid to the wayside by hakuji's future counterpart.]

Even though we didn't have demons to defend humanity from, the Rengoku name still carried a lot of weight in this part of the world. To my understanding, your parents traveled farther from our home so that you wouldn't grow up under the burden of that yoke.

[as for the kyojuro before him...]

You've already done your duty, Kyojuro. [he already died to protect humans from a demon.] I hope you can learn to give yourself some grace and respite.

[It's strange how even the briefest contact manages to make Kyojuro's heart ache. This time, it's for a two-fold purpose. To be held in general, while he struggles with the burdensome weight of his own name and destiny, is a pleasant little novelty. He's never opened himself up to such kindness, not when it came to bearing his vulnerabilities at least. Never mind the fact that Hakuji's hand feels human in a way that Akaza's won't ever feel.

He can't help but wonder how that regular reminder must plague his deer friend.

Ah, but... Before he can really linger on the thought, that hand is gone, and Kyojuro is left to mourn its loss. He doesn't blame Hakuji for pulling away, of course, simply wishes he might have been able to hold on for a few moments longer.]

How strange. My mother is the one who placed the weight upon me in my childhood. [There is not a hint of condemnation in that voice. He's proud of accomplishing the task set upon him. And he knows his mother had only been trying to guide him with what little time she had.]

Still. I understand what you are saying. But being here... is that not an extension of my duty? There are those weaker than myself here that I should protect. And - [His words catch in his throat.]

He would hate me if I ever said it to him, I am certain. But that includes Akaza...

Maybe... with the dire circumstances that were present in your world, she felt it necessary, and it wasn't the same here. [really, hakuji only knows as much about the version of kyojuro from earth as akaza does, and he doesn't feel it's his place to speculate too much. either way, kyojuro's love and regard for his mother is as plain as it was for hakuji's husband.]

Maybe your new challenge can be finding a balance between looking after others and yourself.

[hakuji also finds himself wishing he was still holding kyojuro's hand, if only to reassure him.]

I imagine he would react poorly at first... but I promise you, he wouldn't hate you, Kyojuro. He... [it's been difficult for hakuji to even address his doppelganger by name. but kyojuro should hear it.] Akaza idolizes you. He already considers himself weak by comparison, but that doesn't mean he won't try his damnedest to reach your level.

I am certain you are right about that. Granted such little time, she wanted to be sure I was best prepared for what would come next.

[It's still an odd thought, to imagine his mother being a living presence within his life. Certainly, he's felt her warmth all through his own journey, carried on by the promise they shared. It must have been drastically different, though, knowing she was always there to answer his questions, or to remind him that he was on the right path.

He blows out a faint laugh, mostly through his nostrils. If there was ever any doubt that Hakuji had been married to Kyojuro, it would have dissolved in that second. Of course framing it as a challenge would make it more palatable.]

Perhaps you are onto something.

[He's quiet for a moment as he digests that last statement. Akaza had only just implied as much in their most recent conversation, hadn't he? He wanted to be worthy of Kyojuro, not the other way around. But that didn't make any sense when...]

He has overcome far more than I ever could. It takes a monumental level of strength to keep going in the face of everything he has come up against. A weak man could not ever claim to accomplish that feat, and he does it every single day. [Maybe Hakuji will see something familiar in those words. Surely his husband had described the man with the same reverent tone that Kyojuro uses for Akaza in this moment.]

He is not weak for that. He possesses the same power of will that I believe young Kamado did. But still... [How does he put this into words, Kyojuro wonders.] There is a vulnerability to him, I think. He lacks the confidence to see where he excels. The world has told him that he is worthless, time and time again. It has spat upon his efforts repeatedly, until he felt his only option was to lash out in kind Faced with that same adversity once more, I worry that he might crumble.

[His gaze falls.]

With all that in mind, I feel terribly guilty for having abandoned him as I did. But it becomes a difficult line to walk, doesn't it? As much as I wish to hold him up and guide him, to be there for him, I worry that in doing so, I put my own feelings on hold. I could never be the person that expects anything in return for my kindness, but I can still admit that sharing such a close bond makes me long for more.

[After a few moments he finds himself blinking, then reaching to scratch at the back of his head. Talking to Hakuji is easier than anyone else. He is almost certain this man has seen Kyojuro at his lowest. More than that, he knows Akaza's secrets in kind. It isn't like speaking with anyone else in the Grove, where discussing his feelings and the more complicated aspects of his and Akaza's shared past might frame the other man in a negative light. There isn't a single thing Kyojuro could say that would make Hakuji think even less of Akaza than he already did.

That doesn't mean he can't feel the slightest bit guilt for taking up what is surely a limited amount of time remaining for Hakuji.]

I suppose I have rambled quite a bit, haven't I! I hope you will forgive me!

[hakuji could easily contradict some of kyojuro's statements, but after all, they're just his observations, and it wouldn't be helpful at all to shut him down. especially not when he still needs some sort of comfort, himself.]

You didn't abandon him, you just took some time and space for yourself. Like you said -- it's already hard enough, and you need to look after yourself, too. That said, I'm glad he has someone like you to support and guide him. [recalling his own vows, hakuji finds it somewhat easier to sympathize with akaza through the lens of kyojuro's affection. it seems that for as different as this kyojuro and akaza are, their relationship is still so very familiar.]

There's nothing to forgive. Really, I'm grateful for the chance to hear your thoughts.

It still feels as if I could have better approached it. [But then, Kyojuro would feel that way regardless, wouldn't he? Prioritizing himself in any capacity feels like something truly terrible. The fact that Akaza wants vulnerability from him at all feels like an impossible ask.

He'll have to work through that all somehow, though. For now, he offers a relieved smile to the man before him.]

There isn't much that could faze you, is there, Hakuji? I suspect when it comes to me, you have probably seen it all.

[Literally, even.]

Still, with so little time to share between the two of us, I would hate to be the one who does all of the talking. Surely there is something I might be able to learn from you!

Don't beat yourself up, Kyojuro. This is new territory for you both.

[hakuji gives a wry smile at his question, though.]

Oh, there's plenty. I don't know if you'd believe it, but I've got something of a temper. [he knows for a fact kyojuro would absolutely believe it.

anyway,]

... Is there? Admittedly, I'm not too good at talking about myself unprompted... Do you have any questions in particular?

[Kyojuro just sort of... shrugs that off. Accepting that he doesn't bare all of the blame, or that he's new at something doesn't seem quite right. He's always excelled at everything, after all.

In any case, though Kyojuro can imagine that Hakuji did have a temper considering what became of him, seeing him as he is now is a bit hard to believe, actually. Unfortunately, somebody missed the punching debacle. Probably for the best, especially since it does manage to draw a gentle laugh out of Kyojuro.]

I admit, all of my questions stem back to how you and I fit together. [Mostly because... if he does learn anything about Hakuji specifically, he wants it to come from Akaza. The two are most certainly different, especially as they are now, but he doesn't doubt there are a fair few commonalities. He doesn't want to risk stumbling onto anything he might otherwise treasure from his beloved companion.]

How did we meet?

[his ignorance isn't lost on hakuji, but nonetheless the elder man doesn't press the matter. even his own husband still struggles somewhat with kind of thing; it seems to be one of those things that's simply a part of a person, no matter the lifetime.

this, at least, is an easy topic.]

Our families both joined the expedition to found the Grove. I had a good few years of Soryu under my belt and a fair bit of caretaking between my dad and Koyuki when we were younger. You and your father were also on caravan defense, and your mother and brother had good experience in medicine. You can imagine we all got on well, though you in particular were definitely a lot friendlier than most people I'd ever known.

My mother...

[Even now, it's still so strange to consider his mother having lived past his own early years. Even more so to hear that she'd had such a beneficial role not only within the Grove, but within Senjuro's life as well. He makes a note to share this much with the younger boy, to tell him of all the success he'd been able to find without being a swordsman.]

No wonder our families seemed to mesh so well with one another. [Even if the portrait had been meant to commemorate their union, it was clear that their children were not the only ones who enjoyed one another's company.] You were all happy, then?

[honestly, this talk is making him even more nostalgic. it isn't just his wife waiting for him back beyond the veil, after all, but his father and in-laws as well.]

Very. The rest of your family were actually the ones who convinced you to stay in the Grove. I have a feeling they liked us as much as we liked you. And them, obviously, but you and I were particularly stubborn, remember.

[Hang on, give him a second here.]

I tried to leave?

[Yeah... that sounds like him alright.]

You did. You'd successfully guarded everyone along the expedition, helped build up part of the town... Once the Grove was stable enough, you offered to secure transportation here for my father, since he wasn't well enough for the initial journey, and then you planned to go on your way.

[hakuji gives a soft laugh, one very restrained in comparison to akaza's, but laced with affection.]

Honestly, it always scared me -- the thought of how different my life would've been if you hadn't come back. But you did.

At least I came to my senses.

[It's strange, how reversed everything seemed to be between their lives. This time, it wasn't Akaza holding back, but Kyojuro. He can't help but wonder what had changed in his mind between his departure and eventual return. At the same time, he feels the faintest trickle of hope, knowing that eventually, one of them came around.

Hopefully, the same would prove to be true this time, too.]

Would you change any of it, knowing how it ended?

[his answer doesn't come immediately; he actually thinks about it. he could say that he wishes they'd both gotten over themselves sooner, spent more time together, but that seems almost shallow.

the smile falls into something contemplative, wistful. there is one thing hakuji had once wanted, even if he had been too scared to ever broach the subject himself. and knowing how it ended...]

As we were, no. But if everything hadn't gone to shit, if we hadn't all been doomed to die... [his voice softens.] ... I think I would've liked to raise kids with you both. I think they would have grown to be wonderful people, thanks to you two.

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