Blanket CW for drug use I'm so sorry

[mooninthewater]

Who: Mizuki & You…?
What: Weed
When: Yes
Where: Yes
Warnings: Drugs

[ Ydalir has given the jellyfish Weed Brownies(tm), so, uh, yeah! Mizuki is absolutely going to share with the Grove. He'll start in the Elshouse, but he'll take the leftover brownies over to the Inn's lobby, so go off, kids.

If you want to Do The Weed, but your character wouldn't willingly do so, you can assume the plate of brownies was left unattended for a moment, or don't, idk, I'm not your mom—

ANYWAY, this is a party log, so make your tls, go wild, etc. ]

Comments

[oleaeuropaea]

[Worried as he is, it's hard to shut his brain off enough to rest. By some miracle, though, slumber does manage to eventually wrap itself around him. It's light, fitful almost, and very easily shattered by the suddenly shouting that comes from Wolfwood's side of the bed.

In an instant, Vash is up. He hadn't bothered to unholster his gun, so his hand quickly flies to it. He has it halfway pulled out when his brain processes two separate things. One, Wolfwood appears to still be dead asleep. The second is that they are still entirely alone in the room.

A dream. A nightmare even, but still no tangible threat. Vash exhales his relief as he sets his gun on the nightstand for now. Then he shifts over to Wolfwood's side of the bed.]

Hey. Wolfwood. Nick. [He lays his hand on the man's shoulder and shakes it once. He can see the sweat on Wolfwood's forehead, and now that he's this close, can make out the frantic puffs of breath. Another shake of the shoulder is given, just to be sure.]

Wake up. You're okay. It's safe, okay? I'm right here.

[lupusxylem]

[While Vash attempts to wake Wolfwood, he remains locked in the nightmare. Time passes differently between consciousness and reality after all, which means he can experience entire lives in the span of just a few seconds, if that’s how his brain so chose. Instead, he’s seeing others fall by his hand in his mind’s eye. Rollo. Livio. He sees himself arguing with Vash over Rollo’s body, though their mouths simply move with no sound to accompany it, not when his ears are ringing too hard for him to process anything else.

Then, back on the dunes, he pulls the trigger.

He jolts awake with a strangled sound, suddenly sitting up with one of his arms coming out reflexively to push Vash away. He doesn’t even know it’s him at first, that’s sortof what happens when you wake up somewhere you don’t remember falling asleep. Hopefully Vash doesn’t just go crashing off the bed but hey-

Whether or not he stays where he is, Wolfwood is left sitting upright with one arm hovering at his side, struggling to catch his breath, glasses askew and hair sweat-slicked to his forehead. It takes him a long moment to realize what happened (though he hasn’t yet clocked this isn’t his bedroom) before he falls back down onto the bed on his back, his forearm pressed hard across his eyes.]

[oleaeuropaea]

[Unfortunately, Vash does indeed go tumbling off the bed. He lands on the his back with his legs bicycling in the air, but he's ultimately none the worse for wear. Nor is he at all discouraged by the effort on Wolfwood's part.]

Hey-! [He clambers back onto the bed, where whatever vitriol that might have been building up dies on his tongue. He can see in Wolfwood's now, once again collapsed state that he's still off. Whatever the dream had been, it wasn't a one-off nightmare. It had stuck with him.

When he speaks next, it's softer. He accompanies it by laying his hand gingerly against Wolfwood's forearm, where it presently is pressed to his face.]

Nick. Hey... Talk to me.

[lupusxylem]

[Sorry Vash he doesn’t even look when you hit the floor. He heard it, but he’s already got his face covered, trying to come back down to reality. One good thing is that upon waking up, he can immediately tell he’s not tripping like he was before. He doesn’t feel GREAT, but he isn’t having visual or auditory hallucinations, and the world isn’t spinning. Mostly.

But when he feels Vash touch his arm, he flinches. He pulls his arm away just slightly, glaring up at the blonde past his wrist. His eyes are bloodshot, eyelashes damp and eyes glittering with shame.

Shame?

It doesn’t help that looking at Vash right now leaves him once more with a sinking feeling of dread. There’s a flash, just briefly, where the Vash looking down at him flickers between one with his head blown to pieces.

Wolfwood looks away quickly, breathing in sharp through gritted teeth.]

What.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Vash doesn't think he's ever seen Wolfwood's eyes, not without his glasses completely obscuring them. They're still sort of on his face, but askew as they are, they don't do much to hide the tears within his lashes. He tries to figure out just would have upset him so much, especially when it had something to do with Vash himself.

He swallows, lowering his hands into his lap. He has a few guesses. He can only imagine it comes back to what he confessed earlier. His gaze tips away, while his arms slide around his waist.]

You were having a nightmare. [His voice is small, almost like he's afraid of scaring Wolfwood off.] But I'm not going to hurt you, Wolfwood. I wouldn't.

[It's the only thing he can think to say, because it's the only thing he can imagine to have happened. He'd hurt Wolfwood in his dream.]

[lupusxylem]

[Now, normally Wolfwood wouldn't be able to control his temper in a situation like this. The gentle prodding would be too much, and he'd probably just flat out kick Vash out of his own bedroom and demand he be left alone. He does not feel like talking to anyone right now, he just wants to crawl back under the covers and die. Yet, there is an equal side that knows that if Vash left right now, he'd probably struggle with that, too. It's simply because of the confusing miasma of terrible thoughts in his brain that he can't push Vash away. Not now.

But that doesn't mean his response is going to be necessarily kind.]

Stop. Just. Stop. Stop saying that.

[He bites, and while he wants to sit up to talk properly, he's afraid he'll get too dizzy if he tries. He's not yet certain if that aspect of the weed has run its course entirely yet.

But Wolfwood isn't yelling. He isn't firing off at Vash yet, his words coming as a low, agitated rumble from his chest. It may be worse, depending on how Vash looks at that sort of thing.]

You're never going to hurt me. Ever. No matter what. I could hold a gun to your head right fucking now and you'd say "I'm sorry".

[He turns his head to look towards the wall, moving his arm away but still not looking at Vash. It's made a bit worse because he can't exactly pretend he isn't sitting there with concern, not when he can see him in his peripheral.]

I don't...I don't get what your problem is.

[Maybe reckless optimism is a problem, to Wolfwood. Or an overabundance of trust.

Maybe Wolfwood feels instead like he's the one cursed, that anyone he's ever cared about has suffered or died just by being around him. It's the one thing the two of them have explicitly in common.]

[oleaeuropaea]

[And what do you know. Wolfwood lashes out, and Vash feels the need to apologize. He's lucky that the subject has made him mindful of his own words, at least enough that he can bite down on his cheek. That doesn't keep him from trying to defuse the situation, seeing as how he lifts his hands up in the air. He repeats a downward motion, trying to soothe Wolfwood.]

I just figured you had a nightmare. That I did something to you in it. [He lowers both of his hands, flesh fingers knitting with metal fitfully.

There's more he could say. He could tell Wolfwood that he can't guarantee that he wouldn't get hurt. The world was cruel, terrible things were known to happen, and Vash had watched so many people die. As much as Vash wanted to believe it would be okay, it couldn't be promised.

He says none of this, though. He doesn't want to argue. He doesn't want to cause a fight when Wolfwood was already suffering. Instead, he eases back, so that the Undertaker is the only one on the bed.]

I'll give you some space, alright?

[Yes, it's his room, but that doesn't matter. He'd implied as much before — he'd give anything to anyone if it meant they didn't have to suffer.]

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood feels his chest tighten. There's still this feeling of anxiety, that if he lets Vash go, he isn't going to come back. It's irrational and he feels stupid for feeling it- he'd blame it on the drugs, but he thinks those are nearly gone- yet it's there all the same. But his mind and his heart are clearly at odds. The two wolves inside of Wolfwood are fighting. One wants to lash out and rip Vash apart before kicking his ass out into the snow, while the other wants him to stay. Just. Please stay.

He's still not looking at Vash as he takes his shades off suddenly, smudging his thumbs across his eyes with a heavy breath. He's awash with frustration towards himself, simmering underneath the surface while the rest of him keeps replaying that image of Vash with a hole in his head in his mind over and over.

Why does it matter? Vash...shouldn't matter.

But he does. And that's something Wolfwood can't run away from.

He holds the sunglasses tight in his fist before turning over onto his side, facing the wall.]

Yeah.

[He doesn't know this is Vash's room. At least he will have to come back...eventually.]

[oleaeuropaea]

[It's cute that Wolfwood thinks he has to come back. All he really needs is to pull on his jacket and boots, and then re-holster his gun. The photo of himself, Rem, and Nai is still on the table, but it isn't like Wolfwood will be in here forever. All Vash needs to do is find a place to hunker down until the Punisher clears out. There are plenty of rooms in the Inn.

He says nothing as he opens the door, but he does hesitate. it's hard not to feel guilty, leaving someone who looked as vulnerable as Wolfwood behind. Part of him wants to go to him and keep trying, but he knows how it'll end.

And ultimately, it's better this way. Vash doesn't need to get close. To get attached. He's already treaded into dangerous territory.

With a faint sigh, Vash pulls the door closed behind him, and then heads down the hall. Surely there's something empty nearby.]

[lupusxylem]

[Vash leaves the room, and everything is suddenly very silent and still. Wolfwood could just go back to sleep with his newfound privacy, but that's going to be hard to do when he's feeling this wound up still. He tries to calm down, laying there like he is, and he really has no idea how much time passes as he does this. Just laying there, listless, feeling like he's been hollowed out.

I figured you had a nightmare. That I did something to you in it.

Wolfwood closes his eyes, bringing his hand up to wipe over them roughly again before forcing himself to sit up, shifting so his back is to the wall where the bed currently resides. Vash must have brought him back to his room after he passed out on the couch-

...but then Wolfwood notices the photo on the table. A photo that he, without really thinking, leans forward and picks up so he can examine it more closely. Vash may not remember it, but he remembers seeing him in that plant room, standing there with those strange patterns glowing underneath his skin. It's more visible here in the photo as a full-body sort of thing, leaving him no doubt as to not just Vash's true origins, but Knives' as well. It makes sense that Knives would be a harbinger of destruction, with the power that plants seem to be capable of wielding.

Power that, as far as he knows, Vash only has a fraction of, if any.

He sits there looking at the picture for a while before he puts it back, pressing his face into one of his knees. Of course Vash would just leave him in his own damn bedroom.

Well, Wolfwood doesn't leave. He's keeping his ass right where it is, for reasons as of yet unknown.]