new moon

[amethystic]

so
i slept for almost two months apparently

honestly 10/10 would recommend
it felt weirdly dreamless but in a good way



anyway i'm alive

Comments

[amethystic]

Mm. Everyone leaves, so I might as well be. I've long since accepted I'm barely a chapter in most people's lives.

( even if she'd like to be part of the story too. she's quiet though, gaze flicking about.

she's heard it all before. it doesn't stick. )

[purevanillacookie]

[ Ah. He knows that pain. A forgotten footnote in history. His sigh is gentle, and he pauses in brushing her hair, resting his hand lightly on her head instead to simply pet, smoothing down strands of flyaway hair with the soft touch. ]

On my Souljam, on the very Truth that pulses through it, I promise you, my child. I will not leave. It is all right if you do not believe me, I know trust is hard to come by when you have been so hurt.

[ He will have to speak with Dark Cacao and Clotted Cream about his idea, but he already knows they will be amendable to it. Especially the old warrior, who enjoys collecting children as much as he does. ]

Please do not feel you have to answer immediately, but allow me to lay this at your feet. Would you like to come live with us?

[amethystic]

( ... why is it that the more grandiose a promise is, the less she believes it? even with the caveat that he'll understand if she doesn't trust it, it's... ...

it feels a little like an argument she had with another sweet-natured blond in the grove. before she really did push him away. she'll probably just do the same thing again- maybe she should nip it in the bud.

she could say so many cruel things, brush off the kindness showed, reject his offerings-






she does nothing. but maybe pv will see that she's starting to cry, completely stunned. )

[purevanillacookie]

[ Because grandiose promises are easy to make, and easy to break. The tears finally catch his attention and his expression pinches. ]

Oh... oh, my dear.

[ He sets aside the brush, moves the tray, then reaches out to gather her into his arms again, turning her in against him to pull her to his shoulder. Holds her tightly and rocks her gently back and forth. ]

It's all right. Let it out.

[amethystic]

( the motion seems to remind her she's, you know. a thing that exists again, and immediately she tries to hide her face with her hand, don't look, don't look, she can't be vulnerable or she'll be hurt- )

Why?

[purevanillacookie]

[ He lets her hide her face, he won't stop her, and instead turns her in against his shoulder so she can hide there as well. He shh's softly, rubbing his hand in soothing circles on her back, his ears pressing backwards. ]

Why? Why would I not?

[ Care. Offer this. Give her love and affection when she clearly needs it. ]

[amethystic]

I'm bad luck! I kill people just by existing- I'm a disaster who can barely control my magic, I steal and break things- you don't know anything about me! I've been an omen of death since I was a kid!

[purevanillacookie]

[ Oh, his heart aches for her. He squeezes her gently, shakes his head. ]

If that were true, my child, would I not be dead? Would my luck not be horrendous? I will not argue that bad luck happens around you, but I will argue that you are not the cause. It is not your fault these things happen. And I would not judge what you have done in the past. We all have things we regret. But it is merely that. The past. It is what you do now, what you do in the future, that matters.

[amethystic]

I- I literally am? I'm a Wellspring with an Affinity for misfortune. I am literally a fountain of bad luck. And I can feel when it activates too-

( she wants to sound indignant and not like the deeply upset young woman she is, but it's a little hard because she is not escaping the hug or anything. )

I just- I don't get it. What's the catch? There's always a cost.

[purevanillacookie]

[ Sorry, he doesn't believe it. Well, he DOES, but it's also not hard to curse someone to be like that. She can pull away if she desires, his hold is tight but not restrictive. ]

No catch, no cost. I know you have no reason to believe me. But I cannot lie. The only thing I desire for you is you to be healthy, and happy, and to know you're loved.

[amethystic]

( sincerley, and completely baffled- )

But I'm not.

[purevanillacookie]

[ HIS HEART. ]

But you are. I love you, my dear. I do not need to know your past, what you may or may not have done. I see a wonderful young lady, who is trying her best to keep moving forward despite what life has thrown at her.

[amethystic]

( words are a struggle, one that she is failing so very hard at. pure vanilla can probably make out another protest that she isn't between sobs though, all while she curls up more, like she's trying to make herself impossible to see. after all, they can't punish you for weakness if they can't find you. )

[purevanillacookie]

Shh, shh, it is okay. Cry it out, my dear.

[ He holds her tightly, letting her curl up into a ball, moving her blankets to help tuck her in further. He rocks her gently back and forth, his hand coming up to stroke over her head, gently tucking strands behind her ears, away from her face.

And he gives the top of her head a soft kiss, before tucking her in tighter. ]

[amethystic]

( nineteen years is a brief flicker of time, for one like him. and yet it is so impossibly long to go without love. imagine that being all that you know. to expect it for so long that you push and claw away from any effort.

it's tiring.

her lungs and eyes hurt, and just being rocked feels so utterly foreign to her. did her father do this for her, before he died? she wasn't even two years old. did vic, before he decided she wasn't worth it?



... did... her mother ever...?

her voice is barely a whisper when she speaks. )

I don't... want to be alone... but its always a lie.

[purevanillacookie]

I know, my dear. I know.

[ And he does. If asked if he was happy before, Pure Vanilla would have answered yes. Of course he was. And he would have to answer the same way to being lonely. The lack of love in their lives might have been different, but it was still the same. To go without being held like you matter as a person. To not hear words of affirmation, of love.

It was only recently he himself felt it.

He sighs softly, rearranging her a little. ]

I cannot say for sure what the future will bring us, but I can offer you this. So long as I am alive, you will not be alone. I will always be with you, my child.

[amethystic]

... If you also lie, I'll curse the entire grove. I won't endure this another time.

( ... it's... not a no. but it's something, for certain. )

[purevanillacookie]

[ That makes him smile a little, and he rests his hand on her head, and then his cheek gently there as well. Keeping her in nice and secure. ]

I do not lie. You have me by your side, my dear. So long as you wish it.

[amethystic]

...Even if I'm clingy? Or act out?

( if she pushes away and runs and hides? )

[purevanillacookie]

Ah, you mean, be a teenager? My dear, of course. You will have your bad days, as often as you have good. I will be by your side through them all.

[amethystic]

( in the most deadpan: )

I have a body count, you know.

[purevanillacookie]

[ That makes him arch his eyebrow because from what she's told him: ]

Have any of those lives taken been by your own will?

[amethystic]

... Some were self defense. Some were just there.

( read: she lost control of her highly dangerous, highly toxic magic in the wrong place. )

[purevanillacookie]

[ Shakes his head gently. ]

If it was not done with malicious intent to end a life, then I cannot judge or condemn you.

[amethystic]

You should! I did terrible things for terrible people!