sticksandbones | ✨✨✨✨🪼FREE THERAPY 🪼✨✨✨✨

Who: Mizuki & you
What: "Rubie, stop making logs for everything, idiot" make me. Anyway come get y'alls therapy.
When: Yeah
Where: The beach/Notebook
Warnings: Will be in titles when it comes up.

I. Notebook Post

Hello, friends!

I've set up a private tent on the beach away from all the festivities and such for any therapy sessions you might require while we're here, since the therapy building cannot be accessed currently. If you don't mind, I set up a little table with a mental health questionnaire on the table nearby. There's a lockbox I put inside the tent where you can leave them, or if you're not comfortable with that you can always turn them in to me personally. I can assure you I won't let anyone else read your answers.

If you have any questions that are personal, you can come see me, just let me know. Any general questions can be asked here, though!

II. Therapy tent

[ As Mizuki said, there's a tent! There's an eye catching "FREE THERAPY" sign above it. Anyone is welcome inside. Mizuki tries to be around as much as possible, and if he sees you going inside when he's out of it, he'll gladly wiggle into the tent himself and sit down with whoever is inside with a smile. ]

[ And Mizuki will be bothering specific people with posts below. This is a threat. :) ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[frowns... opens his mouth. closes it again. huffs.]

It just is.

... [ Mizuki adjusts himself then just... plops himself into Livio's lap. Lapzuki time. He pats both of Livio's hands. ] This is what I mean. You should tell me about that. What's different? What makes you feel like that? Why do you sound so sad when you talk about it?

[... hello???? this is so much More than just hand holding. but... again, livio doesn't have a damn clue what is normal or not and just... goes with it. ok, zooks.

his brows furrow as he tries to think of something. he's honestly not even considering the fact that this might be therapy anyway. just trying to figure out a way to explain why he is the only one who should be treated as subhuman. because that is a normal thing to want to say.]

I don't want other people to feel that way about themselves.

[...]

I'm bad at... being a person. I've always been dangerous. Never fit in. You know, Nick was recruited by the Eye. I volunteered. And when I did, suddenly, everything was... simple. I'm good at following orders. It's easier for me to be a tool than a person. It isn't complicated.

[ Unfortunately, this is normal for two types of people: girls with their besties in high school and Mizuki. Sorry, Livio. He listens, though, seriously and genuinely, and he does his best to think about it from all angles in the best way he knows how. But… ]

…You would make for an excellent Seaborn, Mister Livio.

[ He can’t help but point out the obvious. And he’s sure, to some extent, Livio can maybe glean some things from it. It’s why Irene had stabbed him. It’s why it was kept so secret.

All of which is a roundabout way to say: he understands. For the first time it all makes sense. Well, except for Raz, anyway. ]

The “I don’t want anyone to feel that way” worries me, though. The things you’re saying… sound good…? Why would you not want others to experience it…? That part confuses me.

[he doesn't know how to feel about that. maybe he would make a good seaborn. he knows most other terrans hate and fear them, which... is accurate enough already. but other than that, he doesn't have much context.]

... It being simpler or easier doesn't mean it makes me happy.

People are... like herd animals, right? I don't think most people would choose complete isolation unless they were driven to it.

But simpler things leave out complications. Complications make people sad. Isn't that for the best?? [ Like, hello? ] Unless... the person you were following wasn't a good person? That's the only thing I can think that would make you sad.

And I don't think I would compare them to herd animals. People are sort of... unique. They crave communication and connection and find their sense of belonging within community. And even then, it's never truly consistent. It's fascinatingly complex.

[he is pointedly quiet for... a while, after mizuki surmises that he'd been mixed up with bad people. not in the same way as he has been thus far, in considering his response. the look in his eyes is blank as he stares forward.

at least until he remembers that mizuki is probably waiting on him to speak.]

Personal relationships are complications, aren't they? But people need them.

...Not usually! I feel like maybe you're hanging around Vash too much if you think that, Mister Livio. [ Callout post for the Triguns. ] I feel like it's not all that complicated. I like you, so you're my friend. That's pretty simple, I think.

[...]

I guess we don't agree. On either point. Learning someone's habits and patterns is easy. Taking care of them and keeping them happy is complicated.

Not just Vash. Anyone.

Ehe, you think so??? [ He's literally giving you therapy right now to try and help make you happy, Livio. Does he think it's complicated? A little, sure, but... ] I like to think that it's not actually that complicated at all to make people happy. To alleviate their worries and make sure their emotional state is in check.

They just have to want that.

[ :)! ]

I mean... Everybody has their own experiences and thoughts. What's fine for someone might upset someone else. Their other relationships might influence how they feel about you. You have to change yourself in small ways to fit with one person to the next. And sometimes, nothing you can do will alleviate those worries for them.

I'm not... saying it isn't worth it. Just that it's... a lot harder than just... turning off, I guess.

[yeah, that hint is flying right over his head.]

[ Just up and right over his head, huh? An impressive feat, considering how tall Livio is. ]

Mmh… I guess so? I don’t… really know what “off” is like, though. Is it… dissociative? When do you most feel like turning “off”?

[... ugh. well, mizuki is... maybe? unlikely to judge him?]

A large part of my training was -- emotional repression. I'm sure you can imagine, it makes for a more efficient assassin.

[ More than just "unlikely to judge", he gets it. Assassin buddies, y'know? Or "mercenary", but for Mizuki's more assassin-like way of taking targets out, it was functionally the same thing.

That said, though, Mizuki ends up just looking up at Livio, from a slightly awkward angle given his position, but squeezes his hands, anyway. ]

That makes sense, yeah... But it can also really mess with someone's mental, too. If it's not something you wanted to do, then it's not something you should do, you know...? Like... when I kill people, it's 'cause I'm happy to be doing what my commander wants. I don't... "turn off".

Like I said. I chose it.

[not that he ever got happiness from killing, but he understands wanting to please a superior. either way, he isn't here to judge mizuki, either.]

When I got here, it was the first time in years I'd let myself feel again. I think... maybe I'm still not used to it.

✨✨✨✨🪼FREE THERAPY 🪼✨✨✨✨

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