[Trigun Stampede, featuring guest star "Ainchase Ishmael from the critically irrelevant MMO Elsword", the crossover literally nobody wanted! The audience applauds and claps and stuff.
Ain did not want to be In A Worm ever in his life, but the boundary between reality and mind have blurred so bad that he's like "yeah I was definitely here for this". To that end, he's following Wolfwood around inside a worm's... stomach? Organs? Mouth? Something like that, he doesn't know, drawing his jacket tightly around himself and frowning.]
It's so wet...
[They should be rejoining the others soon, probably, hopefully.]
[Being swallowed by a Grand Worm is as gross and...surprisingly not as you would expect. Weirdly, it feels less like traversing it's innards and more like you're just in a big weird cave that's also wet. They're not being actively digested or anything, so that much they can count their blessings for...but that doesn't mean they want to stay here long. They got separated from Vash while hunting down Meryl and the orphan kid who inexplicably fucking ran off from them, but lol lmao nobody tell them that Wolfwood knows Exactly Who That Child Is-
But he isn't letting that slip as he gnaws on a cigarette with annoyance while they press forwards. Like, he knows they aren't in any danger because this is completely fucking staged, but does Zazie always have to be so dramatic...Christ.]
Stick close to me, unless you wanna become this thing's dinner. And keep your eyes peeled, those assholes coulda gone down any of these tunnels.
Worms this big take a long time to digest anything. They don't really get fresh meals like us that often, so if it just ate us right away, it'd be a waste.
[That's....not comforting at all.]
And anyway, if we were goin' anywhere near any kind of stomach, you'd know.
[Equally as concerning-
Maybe it says something that Wolfwood doesn't stop Ain from clinging as he continues forward, on a set path since he already knows where Zazie is going to find Vash and spring the trap.]
The problem is it's as big as a Sand Steamer. Bigger, even. It's like findin' a needle in a haystack, so why that kid took off like that I'll fuckin' never know...
Yeah... uh. Right... [Aisha would lose her mind in here. Thank god Ain has more of a stomach for this stuff... although he's beginning to think he's losing it.] Kids are just... weird, I think? Haha...
[He hates it. He lights it up with a glowing yellow Edel Eid, and it becomes immediately apparent how slick and moist and drippy this place is. Some of the slime drips down onto his shoulder and Ain feels his skin crawl.
Oh he does Not like being In a creature that could digest him. Nope nope nope.
Luckily there's a flickering shadow down one of the tunnels, and Ain frantically points at it and sends the light down that "hallway". Please get him out of here he's wet :( ]
[Don't worry, the facade was never meant to go on for very long for that exact reason. The light is helpful in guiding their way forward, and that shadow sure is convenient up ahead isn't it...?
Wolfwood and Ain rush forwards just in time to see Vash with the kid that ran off, his arms wrapped around his waist in that way a scared kid might do. It's all part of the plan, and the moment the kid- Zazie- sees Wolfwood appear with the group...
He hops away with the kind of acrobatic finesse of someone who is inhuman, and that comes out...pretty much immediately.
Sorry Ain. There's about to be........many more bugs, suddenly.]
[Ain does not like this he does not he does not— aaaaaaa— oh he's sorry Aisha he made fun of you like last year for being scared of bugs but suddenly when he's In One he's terrified. Girl you were right, bugs are bad!!!
Watching this child give up the farce makes Ain jump back several feet (hi Vash!!!) and watches from the Very Wet Shadows. What's that kid on about that they're all gonna die in here ew gross ugh gross—]
[It sure does seem like they're all about to die! Zazie is talking and exits the worm stage left, leaving them all abandoned inside of it with...really no plans as to how they were going to get back out? Not that they asked to be eaten by a giant worm, but when you live on No Man's Land these things tend to just happen unfortunately.
Just a few short paces behind where the others are clustered, with Vash, Meryl, and Ain together off to the side, Wolfwood suddenly drops his gun on its end and twists the skull-shaped insignia in the center.]
You're not gettin' away, worm.
[And then he swings it up onto his shoulders, holding it dead center at the worm's inner hide.]
Ain should be focused on the fact that the worm was just cut in half. Or the fact that for a moment he looks at Meryl and thinks "her hat is cute I want it :)" or that Vash is here (!!!) or that Zazie is a weird little bug whose face grew a bug mask (???) but no. No no.
His eyes are glued to Wolfwood flipping that fucking cross gun around like it's a pencil between his fingers, light as a feather, smirking like a dumbass, and somehow avoiding to kill anyone inside when the worm goes down.
Hhhfhfhhhhhhhhhhhh ohh he's so lovestruck right now hiiii.
Of course, they're airborne when the worm goes down, jumping out of the sand as it is, and Ain's SECOND instinct other than objectifying a man is to grab these tangible memories of the others and scoop them like sacks of potatoes and float them all harmlessly to the ground. Wolfwood may have to hold onto Ain if he wants in, because the man is grabbing Vash, Meryl, and this old man??? who is this old man is this someone's dad?????? and he only has so much arm and back space.
[Wolfwood, in this moment, has no idea what he's awakened in Ain. Nobody this day ever told him how cool and hot he was for lasering a worm, so how was he supposed to know? Like, yeah, he'd agree that it's cool and hot, but still. Praise was deserved and wholly ungiven, fucked up.
Anyway, he will be grabbing onto Ain as soon as he's able, sort of awkwardly holding onto his gun at the same time under one arm so it doesn't crash many feet to the sand below. He doubts it would break, but there's no point in taking a risk on that.
Anyway! They all touch down safely, all of them including the old man, and once they're on the ground Wolfwood will pull back and flash the whole group a toothy grin. In the distance, there are a cluster of hunters on a sand dune cheering, loudly.]
Ain makes sure everyone has floated Safely back into the sand and stares at Wolfwood like he just grew two heads. The name Roberto flits into his brain, consequence of the memories being shared no doubt, as he turns and watches the old guy light up.
Do literally all of you smoke what's going on.
He steals Meryl's hat when she's not looking, puts it on, and teehees off to the back of the group as fast as he can. He Will get chased for this.]
[Meryl is absolutely going to chase him, that's her's get back here????
Wolfwood, meanwhile, looks surprised that Ain is even asking that as he approaches the side of the dead worm, planting his foot against it as he looks it over. Presumably scoping out the best place to start carving. They don't have any good tools for it, but fortunately those hunters are coming over and no doubt do. They won't need more than a little, so there's no issue with sharing.]
Yeah. You don't think we're gonna let all this meat go to waste, do you?
[Ain is standing there dumbfounded while memories of how worms taste enter his tastebuds without his permission, and he decides instantly that not even Ciel could make this palatable. Ough.]
...Yeah, I guess... haha.
[He's just gonna, y'know. Sit there and scrub the Worm Wet off himself and let Wolfwood handle the carving of that giant.]
[Sorry Ain, unfortunately fine dining this world ain't, and you really can't be picky here. It's clear judging by the looks on the others' faces that they aren't super thrilled by eating this thing either, but it's that or nothing at all.
Ain will at least get to sit in the sand and not have to deal with the worm itself as the hunters and Wolfwood do the heavy lifting, and soon enough they've got a bonfire going to keep them warm as night falls. Then they've got some meat roasting over the fire, and although it's not normal meat, it at least looks like normal...ish...enough. It doesn't look weird but that probably doesn't help if you know what it is.
Once that's finally going, Wolfwood will sink into a sit between Vash and Ain, and immediately declare:]
[Damn and here he was gonna take the opportunity to completely ignore everyone else and start rizzing up dream-Vash... oh well, he's content to swing into Wolfwood's lap until he says that.]
[He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the rumpled check he handed Vash and Meryl earlier, holding it out for Ain to see. I don't want to load up Stamp just to check this number but I'm reasonably sure it was ludicrous for comedic effect, like 25k or someshit-]
[Ain if you'd done that, Meryl might have forgiven you for stealing her hat because she would have been laughing too hard.]
Why am I not surprised you're broke?
[NONE of you have money, god.
He'll take the slip back and shove it into his pocket (he does not expect anyone to actually pay him he's being a shit), then raises his brow as he sits forward and turns the meat on the skewer.]
Yeah. There are lots of ways to pay someone for goods. [Ain reaches into Wolfwood's blazer and if he's not stopped, he's stealing one of the lollipops he knows the guy has in there.] I'm sure you wouldn't know, though, haha.
Ooh~. I don't have that either. [Ain.] How abouuuuut I pay you later? You know, with that other thing that you couldn't begin to think about what it could possibly be?
cuts a woerm in half :)
Ain did not want to be In A Worm ever in his life, but the boundary between reality and mind have blurred so bad that he's like "yeah I was definitely here for this". To that end, he's following Wolfwood around inside a worm's... stomach? Organs? Mouth? Something like that, he doesn't know, drawing his jacket tightly around himself and frowning.]
It's so wet...
[They should be rejoining the others soon, probably, hopefully.]
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But he isn't letting that slip as he gnaws on a cigarette with annoyance while they press forwards. Like, he knows they aren't in any danger because this is completely fucking staged, but does Zazie always have to be so dramatic...Christ.]
Stick close to me, unless you wanna become this thing's dinner. And keep your eyes peeled, those assholes coulda gone down any of these tunnels.
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[Well Ain! You came in here with him! (You did not) You're going to have a lovely time in the worm guts now! Congratulations!
He sticks a little too close, honestly, clinging onto Wolfwood's blazer with a hand. Of all the uncomfortable shit he's done in his life...]
Why is it full of tunnels... [Ain has never seen an episode of Magic Schoolbus, clearly.] Don't tell me these lead to like, stomachs or something...
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[That's....not comforting at all.]
And anyway, if we were goin' anywhere near any kind of stomach, you'd know.
[Equally as concerning-
Maybe it says something that Wolfwood doesn't stop Ain from clinging as he continues forward, on a set path since he already knows where Zazie is going to find Vash and spring the trap.]
The problem is it's as big as a Sand Steamer. Bigger, even. It's like findin' a needle in a haystack, so why that kid took off like that I'll fuckin' never know...
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Yeah... uh. Right... [Aisha would lose her mind in here. Thank god Ain has more of a stomach for this stuff... although he's beginning to think he's losing it.] Kids are just... weird, I think? Haha...
[Eughghghggh.]
It's really hard to see in here...
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[Well, speaking of things being hard to see...]
Can you light it up in here a little, maybe?
[Wolfwood you have a lighter-
(He doesn't want to waste his lighter fluid knowing this is a farce)]
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[He hates it. He lights it up with a glowing yellow Edel Eid, and it becomes immediately apparent how slick and moist and drippy this place is. Some of the slime drips down onto his shoulder and Ain feels his skin crawl.
Oh he does Not like being In a creature that could digest him. Nope nope nope.
Luckily there's a flickering shadow down one of the tunnels, and Ain frantically points at it and sends the light down that "hallway". Please get him out of here he's wet :( ]
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Wolfwood and Ain rush forwards just in time to see Vash with the kid that ran off, his arms wrapped around his waist in that way a scared kid might do. It's all part of the plan, and the moment the kid- Zazie- sees Wolfwood appear with the group...
He hops away with the kind of acrobatic finesse of someone who is inhuman, and that comes out...pretty much immediately.
Sorry Ain. There's about to be........many more bugs, suddenly.]
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Watching this child give up the farce makes Ain jump back several feet (hi Vash!!!) and watches from the Very Wet Shadows. What's that kid on about that they're all gonna die in here ew gross ugh gross—]
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Just a few short paces behind where the others are clustered, with Vash, Meryl, and Ain together off to the side, Wolfwood suddenly drops his gun on its end and twists the skull-shaped insignia in the center.]
You're not gettin' away, worm.
[And then he swings it up onto his shoulders, holding it dead center at the worm's inner hide.]
I'm a tough nut to crack.
[YAAY I GET TO LINK THIS AGAIN]
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Ain should be focused on the fact that the worm was just cut in half. Or the fact that for a moment he looks at Meryl and thinks "her hat is cute I want it :)" or that Vash is here (!!!) or that Zazie is a weird little bug whose face grew a bug mask (???) but no. No no.
His eyes are glued to Wolfwood flipping that fucking cross gun around like it's a pencil between his fingers, light as a feather, smirking like a dumbass, and somehow avoiding to kill anyone inside when the worm goes down.
Hhhfhfhhhhhhhhhhhh ohh he's so lovestruck right now hiiii.
Of course, they're airborne when the worm goes down, jumping out of the sand as it is, and Ain's SECOND instinct other than objectifying a man is to grab these tangible memories of the others and scoop them like sacks of potatoes and float them all harmlessly to the ground. Wolfwood may have to hold onto Ain if he wants in, because the man is grabbing Vash, Meryl, and this old man??? who is this old man is this someone's dad?????? and he only has so much arm and back space.
At least the float to the ground is gentle.]
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Anyway, he will be grabbing onto Ain as soon as he's able, sort of awkwardly holding onto his gun at the same time under one arm so it doesn't crash many feet to the sand below. He doubts it would break, but there's no point in taking a risk on that.
Anyway! They all touch down safely, all of them including the old man, and once they're on the ground Wolfwood will pull back and flash the whole group a toothy grin. In the distance, there are a cluster of hunters on a sand dune cheering, loudly.]
Problem solved. Now, who's ready for dinner?
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dinner... dinner? Din........................
Ain makes sure everyone has floated Safely back into the sand and stares at Wolfwood like he just grew two heads. The name Roberto flits into his brain, consequence of the memories being shared no doubt, as he turns and watches the old guy light up.
Do literally all of you smoke what's going on.
He steals Meryl's hat when she's not looking, puts it on, and teehees off to the back of the group as fast as he can. He Will get chased for this.]
Um. Dinner?
[Oh god
are we eating that]
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Wolfwood, meanwhile, looks surprised that Ain is even asking that as he approaches the side of the dead worm, planting his foot against it as he looks it over. Presumably scoping out the best place to start carving. They don't have any good tools for it, but fortunately those hunters are coming over and no doubt do. They won't need more than a little, so there's no issue with sharing.]
Yeah. You don't think we're gonna let all this meat go to waste, do you?
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[Ain is standing there dumbfounded while memories of how worms taste enter his tastebuds without his permission, and he decides instantly that not even Ciel could make this palatable. Ough.]
...Yeah, I guess... haha.
[He's just gonna, y'know. Sit there and scrub the Worm Wet off himself and let Wolfwood handle the carving of that giant.]
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Ain will at least get to sit in the sand and not have to deal with the worm itself as the hunters and Wolfwood do the heavy lifting, and soon enough they've got a bonfire going to keep them warm as night falls. Then they've got some meat roasting over the fire, and although it's not normal meat, it at least looks like normal...ish...enough. It doesn't look weird but that probably doesn't help if you know what it is.
Once that's finally going, Wolfwood will sink into a sit between Vash and Ain, and immediately declare:]
This is goin' on yall's tab, just FYI.
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Huh... you're gonna charge us??
[What the fuck Wolfwood!!!]
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[He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the rumpled check he handed Vash and Meryl earlier, holding it out for Ain to see. I don't want to load up Stamp just to check this number but I'm reasonably sure it was ludicrous for comedic effect, like 25k or someshit-]
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He debates eating it. He really does. Like, paper isn't gonna taste as bad as worm meat will, right? The papercuts on his tongue will be worth it?
...
He hands it back to Wolfwood.]
Aww, it looks like I'm broke~. You're gonna have to let me pay in other ways~.
[....ainchase ishmael,]
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Why am I not surprised you're broke?
[NONE of you have money, god.
He'll take the slip back and shove it into his pocket (he does not expect anyone to actually pay him he's being a shit), then raises his brow as he sits forward and turns the meat on the skewer.]
Other ways?
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Yeah. There are lots of ways to pay someone for goods. [Ain reaches into Wolfwood's blazer and if he's not stopped, he's stealing one of the lollipops he knows the guy has in there.] I'm sure you wouldn't know, though, haha.
[ :) ]
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Meryl snorts behind her hand, then looks away when Wolfwood glances at her, giving Ain plenty of time to steal one of his lollipops.]
Oi. Watch it. That's gonna cost you extra.
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How much extra?
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Five-thousand double dollars.
[He's not going to know what that means. I still don't know what it means.]
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