[Accidentally, as if Nick wouldn't notice the space next to him conspicuously absent pretty much immediately.
He peels his eyes open blearily, staring up at the ceiling with a low sound like a beached whale, flopping one arm over and expecting it to fall across Asher's shoulders as usual...but it does not. It falls onto the empty bed, which prompts him to crack one eye open even further as he spreads his palm out flat against the rumpled sheets. It's easy to tell he's not been gone long, so he'll drag his ass up and yawn loud enough to wake the neighbors, then pat the bed blindly...then the floor until he finds his boxers so he can put them on.
Anyway yeah if you were wondering Asher IS covered in bitemarks congratulations on having a healthy marriage-
He'll be joined by his partner soon as Nick pads out onto the balcony, settling easily into place beside him with their shoulders touching.]
Can I borrow a smoke? Think you owe me one for wakin' me this damn early.
["Borrow" says man who shares everything with Asher... he's going to do all the work, though, taking the cigarette from the box and pressing it to Nick's lips for him, before he leans in and lights the end with his own.
Hmm, this totally wouldn't happen in the non-past-life haha—]
My bad. Figured I fucked your back up bad enough that you'd wanna laze about for a bit.
[As he says that, he places his hand on the small of Nick's back, rubbing circles into it and purposely avoiding the scratches... 'cause boy! Boy, y'all's healthy marriage has resulted in Injuries.]
I don't think I could've slept in longer anyway. I'm having fucking stress dreams about the tomatoes. Think I've lost it.
[Off the balcony, he gestures with his other hand to where the tomato plants are growing below. He swears to God if he goes down this morning and there are more hornworms on his plants he's Gonna explode.]
Well sure, normally. But as soon as you leave the bed, s'like the fuckin' Arctic north enters the bedroom. Nobody's sleepin' through that.
[He's also just being dramatic. He likes sleeping close to warm husband, sue him.
Nick swings his head around to look out towards the garden, and sure enough, he can see Asher's rows of tomatoes all looking healthy and happy, at least from Nick's perspective.
He snorts, bumping him lightly with his shoulder.]
The hornworms? Again?
[Too bad Nick didn't eat bugs in his past life-]
You ever thought'a gettin' bugs to combat those? Like, uh...don't they say ladybugs are good for plants or somethin' like that?
They're good for aphids and mites, not so much big caterpillars like that. If we had an aphid problem, I'd already have ladybugs out there. Could introduce braconid wasps, but I don't think the kids would like that.
[Podenco and Popukar would lose their MINDS.]
I'm debating on if I try to avoid them entirely by planting nasturtiums in with the tomatoes, since the scent is a deterrent. Otherwise, I think we're building a chicken coop.
Six months early, yeah. Look, let the other teachers handle the windows, yeah?
[Asher smokes down the rest of the cigarette and tosses the butt into the ashtray they keep up here, stretches his arms high over his head and pulls on either elbow to stretch his shoulders out, then takes a half-step backwards to begin retreating back into the house.
Before he fully turns around though, he makes sure to slap Nick right on the ass.]
C'mon, let's get ready. I don't want to be out there hammering wood when the weather gets too hot.
[Nick jolts when his ass gets slapped, pivoting too late to reach out and grab at Asher as he passes. He will follow him back inside after that, making sure to catch up to him and lean over from behind, kissing- and then biting- the side of his neck.]
Better watch those hands. I ain't afraid to drag you back to bed. I'll show you hammering wood.
[Oh, biting him... gayass. Asher leans back after said bite to nip Nick on his earlobe for his crimes.
What is Up with you two and Biting, honestly.]
Trying to add extra hickies so Aldric gives me a look when we head over, huh? [He bumps his hips into Nick's, hey hi, and then separates from him before walking over to the dresser. The shirt he pulls on is, in fact, one of Nick's button-downs.] Maybe once we nail a bunch of wood together to form a coop, I'll let you nail me. Sound good?
[Can't wait for you idiots to wake up from this and gag a little bit at yourselves honestly.]
[Wolfwood is going to wake up from this and fucking explode. He will be oscillating so violently between absolute disbelief, the desire to Gag, and wanting to lock himself in the bathroom to cry. You know, all normal things.
Nick, on the other hand, is having a wonderful morning thank you for asking. He's grinning as he follows Asher in and goes for the dresser too to grab something to put on, and while the undershirt he puts on is his own, the blazer he tosses on over that? Asher's.]
Ooh-ho, you'd better believe I'm holdin' you to that.
[He tugs on the lapels of his blazer to adjust it across his shoulders, then starts for the stairs with a nod of his head down them.]
But let's make sure the kids ain't eatin' the walls first cause we were too late on breakfast.
[Yeah they're definitely gonna kill each other when they wake up. RIP. Maybe if they're both lucky they won't have to see their past-life explicit memories—
Meanwhile, Asher thinks to himself: God damn I'm lucky, and leans back to give Nick a kiss on the jaw before they head downstairs.]
They'll be fine.
[They are not eating the walls, they are sitting at the dining room table being served food as they walk down. See, y'all ain't late! If only because Lena is more responsible than both of you, but to be fair that means it's going to be Asher's turn on dinner tonight. The trade-off.
She gets a hug for her effort, and then Asher sits down at the table after quite literally stealing a pancake off the top of the stack she's carrying.]
Asher.
Morning, Len. We're gonna head out early and grab some wood to work on a project.
Nick is still smirking like a Cheshire cat as they go downstairs to join the rest of the family, with Nick thumping down behind Asher as he makes a bee-line for the kitchen table. Thank God for Lena, honestly.]
Morning. Yeah, sorry Len, can't stay long.
[It's Nick's turn to give her a one-armed hug before grabbing his own pancake to go, walking around the table to take his seat by Asher (but not before giving each of the kids a kiss as he passes them).]
Hope you guys like fresh eggs, cause we're 'boutta have a ton of 'em.
[The kids are various mixes of surprised and confused. Podenco, as one of the older ones, is pretty smart and sort of Onto Them, but doesn't say anything. Asher can tell by the look in her eyes that she's got them figured out. Lena, too, has them clocked as the only fellow responsible adult here.
Lisa and Popukar, though, very much voice that they think the boys are going to the market to not only get wood, but also to get food. Which makes sense, because right now they ate all the eggs in the fridge, so like... yeah, dad and papa are going out to get eggs. But why a ton of them...
While the girls spectate on how many eggs is "a ton" (Lisa suggests "at least a hundred"), Asher Very Maturely steals a sausage link off of Nick's plate that Lena had so nicely set up for him. Rude-ass.]
[One of Nick's favorite past-times is being gross enough to make the kids be all EW COOTIES about it. It's hilarious.
Which is why Nick will lean across the corner of the table and kiss the bridge of Asher's nose as a thank you before biting that piece of bacon in half.]
Oooh papa-bear, I like that one. Use that one more.
[And so the boys flirt over breakfast, because they're disgusting... everyone eats their fill, though (Asher winds up finishing some of Lisa's food when she gets full a bit earlier), and then it's off to the markets with them.
For normal men who are not Jacked like these two, moving a shitton of lumber would be an impossible task without a wagon or something. For Asher, it's just a matter of lumping all of it on his shoulders and holding it all precariously stacked high overhead, the Herculean task of actually moving this much wood from place to place hardly daunting to him.
They'll make it back to their yard eventually, and then Asher will toe the gate aside and trek his way to the back, where there's an empty-enough patch they can set stuff down.]
Alright. ...we probably should've drawn out blueprints or something first, but I think I have an idea of how this should look.
[He's wandering off to the shed to go get tools now.]
Fuck it, we don't need blueprints. We've winged shit before and it was fine.
[You should NOT be winging building a literal structure but okay whatever you do you-
Nick will help heft the lumber over to where Asher indicates though, huffing and wiping sweat off his brow while Asher disappears into the shed to grab their tools.]
We just need to figure out where the coop'll sit, and then mark out where we want the fenced-in part from there. There's plenty'a room back here in the yard for it.
[Well he didn't marry Nick for his planning skills, that's for sure.
Asher emerges from the shed with two hammers, a drill, and a hand saw. He'll put them down, then disappear back inside to drag out the stand they'll be cutting the wood down to size on. Only then does he finally respond to Nick, patting his back pockets as he does when he realises he didn't grab any pencils or tape measures. Sigh.]
We could use that patch of dirt along the east side of our fenceline where I couldn't get shit to grow last summer. I think that soil is cursed.
[Realistically it's just low-quality and Asher didn't have the patience last summer to deal with it. Probably for the best, because now it can be a building for chickens.
He's gonna go back into the shed to grab the pencils and tape measure now.]
You watch, the second we put chickens on that dirt it's gonna start growin' flowers n'shit.
[Well, most likely not with chickens stomping all over it, but you never know! Asher is the plant doctor, not him.
By the time he returns with the pencils and tape measure, Nick is hefting one of the hammers in his hand because of course he is, like you don't even need that yet.]
We got any idea how many chickens we want this coop to hold?
Fuck, we're gonna be eating eggs for the rest of our lives daily if we get too many. One rooster, four hens? If we need more, we can get more. [But he doubts they're gonna need more.] We've gotta have laying areas for the hens, and the rooster's gonna need space...
[Math is mathing right now, he's marking out an area as they speak.]
me wiggling excitedly
He peels his eyes open blearily, staring up at the ceiling with a low sound like a beached whale, flopping one arm over and expecting it to fall across Asher's shoulders as usual...but it does not. It falls onto the empty bed, which prompts him to crack one eye open even further as he spreads his palm out flat against the rumpled sheets. It's easy to tell he's not been gone long, so he'll drag his ass up and yawn loud enough to wake the neighbors, then pat the bed blindly...then the floor until he finds his boxers so he can put them on.
Anyway yeah if you were wondering Asher IS covered in bitemarks congratulations on having a healthy marriage-
He'll be joined by his partner soon as Nick pads out onto the balcony, settling easily into place beside him with their shoulders touching.]
Can I borrow a smoke? Think you owe me one for wakin' me this damn early.
no subject
Hmm, this totally wouldn't happen in the non-past-life haha—]
My bad. Figured I fucked your back up bad enough that you'd wanna laze about for a bit.
[As he says that, he places his hand on the small of Nick's back, rubbing circles into it and purposely avoiding the scratches... 'cause boy! Boy, y'all's healthy marriage has resulted in Injuries.]
I don't think I could've slept in longer anyway. I'm having fucking stress dreams about the tomatoes. Think I've lost it.
[Off the balcony, he gestures with his other hand to where the tomato plants are growing below. He swears to God if he goes down this morning and there are more hornworms on his plants he's Gonna explode.]
gagtag
no subject
[He's also just being dramatic. He likes sleeping close to warm husband, sue him.
Nick swings his head around to look out towards the garden, and sure enough, he can see Asher's rows of tomatoes all looking healthy and happy, at least from Nick's perspective.
He snorts, bumping him lightly with his shoulder.]
The hornworms? Again?
[Too bad Nick didn't eat bugs in his past life-]
You ever thought'a gettin' bugs to combat those? Like, uh...don't they say ladybugs are good for plants or somethin' like that?
no subject
They're good for aphids and mites, not so much big caterpillars like that. If we had an aphid problem, I'd already have ladybugs out there. Could introduce braconid wasps, but I don't think the kids would like that.
[Podenco and Popukar would lose their MINDS.]
I'm debating on if I try to avoid them entirely by planting nasturtiums in with the tomatoes, since the scent is a deterrent. Otherwise, I think we're building a chicken coop.
no subject
[It is...hard to tell if he's joking or not, but by the way he's grinning he may not be.]
I've always wanted to keep chickens.
[Nick smirks from ear to ear, resting his head against Asher's shoulder.]
You're too kind, babe.
no subject
[He points, right between Wolfwood's titties, to where the necklace in question would hang and/or Is hanging if he wore it to bed.]
Guess we're grabbing wood to make a coop today. Hope you didn't want to enjoy your weekend, babe.
no subject
[Which he IS wearing, by the way. It's shining proudly, right there between his titties.]
The chickens can be this year's Christmas present. Maybe an early one. Present for both of us, anyway.
[He shakes his head, bringing his cigarette between his lips again.]
Ain't like I really had anythin' planned. And I'd rather be buildin' a chicken coop than washin' windows at the schoolhouse, believe you me.
no subject
[Asher smokes down the rest of the cigarette and tosses the butt into the ashtray they keep up here, stretches his arms high over his head and pulls on either elbow to stretch his shoulders out, then takes a half-step backwards to begin retreating back into the house.
Before he fully turns around though, he makes sure to slap Nick right on the ass.]
C'mon, let's get ready. I don't want to be out there hammering wood when the weather gets too hot.
im sorry
[Nick jolts when his ass gets slapped, pivoting too late to reach out and grab at Asher as he passes. He will follow him back inside after that, making sure to catch up to him and lean over from behind, kissing- and then biting- the side of his neck.]
Better watch those hands. I ain't afraid to drag you back to bed. I'll show you hammering wood.
no subject
What is Up with you two and Biting, honestly.]
Trying to add extra hickies so Aldric gives me a look when we head over, huh? [He bumps his hips into Nick's, hey hi, and then separates from him before walking over to the dresser. The shirt he pulls on is, in fact, one of Nick's button-downs.] Maybe once we nail a bunch of wood together to form a coop, I'll let you nail me. Sound good?
[Can't wait for you idiots to wake up from this and gag a little bit at yourselves honestly.]
no subject
Nick, on the other hand, is having a wonderful morning thank you for asking. He's grinning as he follows Asher in and goes for the dresser too to grab something to put on, and while the undershirt he puts on is his own, the blazer he tosses on over that? Asher's.]
Ooh-ho, you'd better believe I'm holdin' you to that.
[He tugs on the lapels of his blazer to adjust it across his shoulders, then starts for the stairs with a nod of his head down them.]
But let's make sure the kids ain't eatin' the walls first cause we were too late on breakfast.
no subject
Meanwhile, Asher thinks to himself: God damn I'm lucky, and leans back to give Nick a kiss on the jaw before they head downstairs.]
They'll be fine.
[They are not eating the walls, they are sitting at the dining room table being served food as they walk down. See, y'all ain't late! If only because Lena is more responsible than both of you, but to be fair that means it's going to be Asher's turn on dinner tonight. The trade-off.
She gets a hug for her effort, and then Asher sits down at the table after quite literally stealing a pancake off the top of the stack she's carrying.]
Asher.
Morning, Len. We're gonna head out early and grab some wood to work on a project.
no subject
Nick is still smirking like a Cheshire cat as they go downstairs to join the rest of the family, with Nick thumping down behind Asher as he makes a bee-line for the kitchen table. Thank God for Lena, honestly.]
Morning. Yeah, sorry Len, can't stay long.
[It's Nick's turn to give her a one-armed hug before grabbing his own pancake to go, walking around the table to take his seat by Asher (but not before giving each of the kids a kiss as he passes them).]
Hope you guys like fresh eggs, cause we're 'boutta have a ton of 'em.
no subject
onlyfellow responsible adult here.Lisa and Popukar, though, very much voice that they think the boys are going to the market to not only get wood, but also to get food. Which makes sense, because right now they ate all the eggs in the fridge, so like... yeah, dad and papa are going out to get eggs. But why a ton of them...
While the girls spectate on how many eggs is "a ton" (Lisa suggests "at least a hundred"), Asher Very Maturely steals a sausage link off of Nick's plate that Lena had so nicely set up for him. Rude-ass.]
no subject
Nick, meanwhile, makes a mockingly affronted sound when Asher steals one of his sausages, prompting him to pull his plate closer to himself.]
Oi. I'm the one who needs more meat on his bones, not you.
no subject
You're gonna have to get better at stealing, papa-bear. [Gross.] I'll throw you a bone this time.
[You're DISGUSTING you two are NASTY ICKY. Shamare is ROLLING HER EYES.]
no subject
Which is why Nick will lean across the corner of the table and kiss the bridge of Asher's nose as a thank you before biting that piece of bacon in half.]
Oooh papa-bear, I like that one. Use that one more.
[I'm so sorry they will be leaving soon-]
no subject
For normal men who are not Jacked like these two, moving a shitton of lumber would be an impossible task without a wagon or something. For Asher, it's just a matter of lumping all of it on his shoulders and holding it all precariously stacked high overhead, the Herculean task of actually moving this much wood from place to place hardly daunting to him.
They'll make it back to their yard eventually, and then Asher will toe the gate aside and trek his way to the back, where there's an empty-enough patch they can set stuff down.]
Alright. ...we probably should've drawn out blueprints or something first, but I think I have an idea of how this should look.
[He's wandering off to the shed to go get tools now.]
no subject
[You should NOT be winging building a literal structure but okay whatever you do you-
Nick will help heft the lumber over to where Asher indicates though, huffing and wiping sweat off his brow while Asher disappears into the shed to grab their tools.]
We just need to figure out where the coop'll sit, and then mark out where we want the fenced-in part from there. There's plenty'a room back here in the yard for it.
no subject
Asher emerges from the shed with two hammers, a drill, and a hand saw. He'll put them down, then disappear back inside to drag out the stand they'll be cutting the wood down to size on. Only then does he finally respond to Nick, patting his back pockets as he does when he realises he didn't grab any pencils or tape measures. Sigh.]
We could use that patch of dirt along the east side of our fenceline where I couldn't get shit to grow last summer. I think that soil is cursed.
[Realistically it's just low-quality and Asher didn't have the patience last summer to deal with it. Probably for the best, because now it can be a building for chickens.
He's gonna go back into the shed to grab the pencils and tape measure now.]
no subject
[Well, most likely not with chickens stomping all over it, but you never know! Asher is the plant doctor, not him.
By the time he returns with the pencils and tape measure, Nick is hefting one of the hammers in his hand because of course he is, like you don't even need that yet.]
We got any idea how many chickens we want this coop to hold?
no subject
[Math is mathing right now, he's marking out an area as they speak.]
no subject
[He flips the hammer once, then decides to not do it again in the event he accidentally drops the damn thing on his foot and ruins their whole day.]
But sure, I'm fine with that. We'll have enough eggs for us and to hand 'em out around town.