... Yes. My presence was causing White Lily and Dark Cacao pain. I am not Pure Vanilla, and they cannot reconcile that I am not. Rather than force them to confront the shell of the man they love, I moved out to spare them that. As well as A.B.A..
[ He was living in the Clinic until it got Blewed Up, so now he's moved to the Inn. Which he glances to, then back to Wolfwood. ]
If you do not move to the Inn, stay by the River. It seems the Seaborne there are protecting it in some way.
[TR's logic checks out, sad though it may be. And honestly, Wolfwood still isn't sure if he totally understands it...it's none of his business, certainly, but this can't be forever, right? He's just...he can't be like this from now on.
Right?
Instead of commenting on TR's advice, Wolfwood says:]
...yaknow, this happened to Vash. He got a buncha new memories, and he changed into a different person for a while. "Eriks". He didn't even remember my name. But he eventually did.
[ Truthless is silent as he listens, his eyes on Wolfwood, though it's hard to tell what he thinks of this. Is it an attempt to soothe him? He doesn't need soothing. He knows who he is, has accepted it. Has walked on deceit and seen what the future holds. He has given in.
Given up. ]
I have no memory loss. I know who they are. I know who you are. What Pure Vanilla considered you. But I am not him.
[ But if he wasn't, would he really be out here, rescuing those Pure Vanilla loves? He wishes Dipper had stayed out of his head, things are confusing now. ]
[ And yet, his voice is as flat as it ever was. It's hard to tell if he cares or not. He offered Vash his hand, reached out in an attempt to close the distance.
And Vash had gotten up and walked away.
Truthless has no desire to try again, and actually? There does seem to be some irritation in his eyes now. ]
[Yeah well, Vash and Wolfwood are fundamentally different, practically opposite people. Where Vash might run away, Wolfwood will bullheadedly stand his ground and face whatever it is head on. It's why he's still here now, watching Truthless with his gaze narrowed just as much.]
If you wanna accept who you are as you are now and just live as this new person, then fine, whatever. That's your prerogative. Otherwise, it ain't none'a my business.
But I still think you should consider what "Pure Vanilla" might'a wanted, too.
[ He tilts his head as if curious, but the irritation is still there in his eyes, so the movement comes off more dangerous. Makes the glowing white blues in his eyes sinister. ]
Did I not already consider what Pure Vanilla would have wanted? Offered Vash my hand, in an attempt to reconcile the differences? In an attempt to bridge the gap? I tried. He left. I have no desire to throw myself at his feet while he mourns a man gone.
[Wolfwood grimaces, a frustrated sound rising in his throat. He gets it, trust him he does. He knows Vash better than most, or he likes to think he does...so that kind of reaction is just to be expected.]
I didn't say to do that. But just...
[He swallows, turning his head away just slightly even though his gaze never leaves Truthless.]
Give him some time. Don't write him off just cause he can't talk to you right now.
[ "I don't want to" rises to his lips but dies there. Frustration takes it's place in his throat instead. No one has any right to be making requests of him. A.B.A. yelling and screaming at him, making herself the victim because he can't be Pure Vanilla, won't let her belittle him.
Wolfwood telling him to give the man who walked away from him time, with no regards to how it made him feel.
Even when he's trying.
His grip tightens on his staff and the shadows under them both shift a little, eyes blinking open to stare at Wolfwood. Then he merely turns around and begins to walk away back towards the Inn. ]
[The Wolfwood from the past, the one newly arrived to the Grove and distrusting of everyone, would have just let Truthless leave without another word. Maybe thrown some sort of angry comment in his wake. And maybe he should just let him go, since he's clearly just making it worse.
But that doesn't stop him from taking a step forward, even as Truthless leaves.]
Wait. Hang on a sec.
[And even if he doesn't wait, he'll keep talking-]
Look, I'm. Sorry. I know I ain't good at this shit. I get that. I still don't really get...any of this. Just...
[...]
Forget all that I said. You should focus on what you wanna do, right now. The rest of us will...
[Learn to live with it. Even if it means never seeing Pure Vanilla's smile again. As much as that hurts.]
We'll be alright. What you do for yourself is what matters more than anythin' else.
[ For his part, Truthless does stop to the cry of wait. He listens, and a whisper of a thought comes back to him.
And you... do you know what you desire?
What does he want to do? He wants to head back to the Inn and be left alone. What does he WANT? He wants to stop trying. He wants to give up. He wants the ache of Pure Vanilla out of him, so he can stop caring entirely.
He wants...
He tilts his head back and looks up towards the unnatural night, half expecting to see Shadow Milks eyes grinning back at him. ]
[Wolfwood stands in Truthless' wake, his expression falling because he really doesn't know if he got through to him at all or not. If anything, it just sounds like he pissed him off more. Tracks...
He sighs and shakes his head, pushing his hands back into his pockets.]
Yeah. Take care.
[He'll leave the other to his own devices, then, hobbling off towards the Inn while picking his way around what visible bits of the Brand he can make out on the ground.]
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[Well that is Fucking Ominous, and Wolfwood doesn't know how he feels about it. How can a few memories completely rewrite your brain like that...?]
Right...yeah. And where are you gonna go?
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[ And he lost so much in those memories. Love. Light. The Truth. He's silent for a moment to the question. ]
The Inn. My room is there.
[ Oddly said, however, considering he's been wandering around outside, pulling people from the fleshy miasma like the more bizarre gardener. ]
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[Like, he knows you're "different" now, but he HIGHLY doubts the other cookies would have kicked you out.]
You left?
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[ He was living in the Clinic until it got Blewed Up, so now he's moved to the Inn. Which he glances to, then back to Wolfwood. ]
If you do not move to the Inn, stay by the River. It seems the Seaborne there are protecting it in some way.
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Right?
Instead of commenting on TR's advice, Wolfwood says:]
...yaknow, this happened to Vash. He got a buncha new memories, and he changed into a different person for a while. "Eriks". He didn't even remember my name. But he eventually did.
Feel like that's gonna happen with you, too.
[It...has to.]
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Given up. ]
I have no memory loss. I know who they are. I know who you are. What Pure Vanilla considered you. But I am not him.
[ But if he wasn't, would he really be out here, rescuing those Pure Vanilla loves? He wishes Dipper had stayed out of his head, things are confusing now. ]
Are you all right?
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[He points a finger in Truthless' direction.]
You might not "be" Pure Vanilla, but you still got your memories. Which should mean you know how he'd be feelin' about all of this right now.
Don't you?
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[ And yet, his voice is as flat as it ever was. It's hard to tell if he cares or not. He offered Vash his hand, reached out in an attempt to close the distance.
And Vash had gotten up and walked away.
Truthless has no desire to try again, and actually? There does seem to be some irritation in his eyes now. ]
What do you want of me?
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If you wanna accept who you are as you are now and just live as this new person, then fine, whatever. That's your prerogative. Otherwise, it ain't none'a my business.
But I still think you should consider what "Pure Vanilla" might'a wanted, too.
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[ He tilts his head as if curious, but the irritation is still there in his eyes, so the movement comes off more dangerous. Makes the glowing white blues in his eyes sinister. ]
Did I not already consider what Pure Vanilla would have wanted? Offered Vash my hand, in an attempt to reconcile the differences? In an attempt to bridge the gap? I tried. He left. I have no desire to throw myself at his feet while he mourns a man gone.
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I didn't say to do that. But just...
[He swallows, turning his head away just slightly even though his gaze never leaves Truthless.]
Give him some time. Don't write him off just cause he can't talk to you right now.
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Wolfwood telling him to give the man who walked away from him time, with no regards to how it made him feel.
Even when he's trying.
His grip tightens on his staff and the shadows under them both shift a little, eyes blinking open to stare at Wolfwood. Then he merely turns around and begins to walk away back towards the Inn. ]
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But that doesn't stop him from taking a step forward, even as Truthless leaves.]
Wait. Hang on a sec.
[And even if he doesn't wait, he'll keep talking-]
Look, I'm. Sorry. I know I ain't good at this shit. I get that. I still don't really get...any of this. Just...
[...]
Forget all that I said. You should focus on what you wanna do, right now. The rest of us will...
[Learn to live with it. Even if it means never seeing Pure Vanilla's smile again. As much as that hurts.]
We'll be alright. What you do for yourself is what matters more than anythin' else.
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And you... do you know what you desire?
What does he want to do? He wants to head back to the Inn and be left alone. What does he WANT? He wants to stop trying. He wants to give up. He wants the ache of Pure Vanilla out of him, so he can stop caring entirely.
He wants...
He tilts his head back and looks up towards the unnatural night, half expecting to see Shadow Milks eyes grinning back at him. ]
... Go to the Inn, Nicholas. Rest.
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He sighs and shakes his head, pushing his hands back into his pockets.]
Yeah. Take care.
[He'll leave the other to his own devices, then, hobbling off towards the Inn while picking his way around what visible bits of the Brand he can make out on the ground.]