Wish we could stay here forever (All of the stars are falling down)

[oleaeuropaea]

Who: Vash the Stampede and YOU!
What: Vash has a breakdown.
When: The day after Saint Nick came to town
Where: On the Edge of the Grove
Warnings: Mild disordered eating, Vash related Vashing. Is there even a hook to this? We just don't know.

[Keen-eyed residents of the Grove will soon notice a new building in town. It's tucked far as can be from the other houses and buildings, just as he prefers. There's some issues — a bent window frame that he doesn't seem keen on fixing, and there isn't a lot of furnishings happening save for a small bed. The only thing that really seems specially picked is the red geranium tucked onto a rickety table. Nevertheless, it's home and — more importantly — it's home away from others.

At first, Vash doesn't seem to plan on leaving. For nearly 20 hours, the house remains locked. There's obviously someone still in there, based off of the fire that keeps going in and out and, more importantly, the piano that keeps being played. The more musically inclined among the grove might hear that the song being played lacks something — as if another pair of hands was missing. This goes on for hours, the part played and replayed.

Eventually, hunger gnaws heavily at Vash's body, though. It's only then that he trudges out of the house. Small and unfurnished as his new home is, he doesn't have a place to store food. And given his unfortunately human tendencies, he still has to eat. He notices this only when his hands become too shaky to properly play the piano. He should probably also do something about the heavy bruises that have now formed on the tips of his fingers, too.

He doesn't get far, though. There's a sudden noise that begins from within the house. The piano begins to play once more, a similar melody as before, though different. It's almost as if the missing parts are being played back once more.

The effecto n Vash is immediate, the man turning and sprinting. He slides in the snow, practically slamming against the door. It's thrown open hard enough to crack against the wall behind it. Vash doesn't care. All that can be heard is: ]

Nai!

[But no one is there. The house remains empty, and Vash can only stare as a cold wind whips through, carrying snow into the open door.]

Comments

throws a jellyfish at Vash's face and makes a plop sound

[mooninthewater]

[ Mizuki would be a hell of a liar if he said he wasn't a bit of a snooper. It was his job back home to keep tabs on everyone, anyway, and lurk in his camouflage to see what everyone was up to. There's a reason his class had once been labelled "stalkers" after all. Of course, the company had to relabel them as "ambushers" due to employee concerns, but… The fact of the matter is that he knows something is up. He isn't entirely sure yet — he'd hoped sticking by him would prove things, but he'd been a little nervous to approach him or… well, anyone, really, since the meeting. He feels as though maybe that's a right that was taken from him, even if there was so many people who had stood up for him.

However, this goes out the window for his new minor obsession heroic idol psyche buddy kind friend, since he seems to need… someone there for him. Or maybe he's reading this all wrong and he needs space? Thoughts that are fighting in his head as he finds himself behind Vash while cloaked in his invisibility, trying to desperately reach out and hold onto his hand.

…

But he pulls away, he takes a step back, he clutches the umbrella in his hand, eventually dropping his camouflage so he can speak. But what to say? "Who's Nai?" he wants to ask. "Is everything alright?" "Are you okay?" "Do you want to talk?" ]

Um—… Is this your new house, Mister Vash?

[ "Do you intend to stop seeing us?" ]

[oleaeuropaea]

[Vash startles at the sound of Mizuki's voice. He spins around, and for a split second there seems to be an accusation written on his face. He opens his mouth, features pulled taut into something between a grimace and a scowl. Just as quickly as he whirled, however, his teeth knock together as he slams his jaw shut.]

I - [There's a quaver in his voice, which won't do. Vash trails off in favor of drawing in a deep breath.] I didn't think anyone would be out this far.

[That's his answer for Mizuki's question, too. Yes, this is his new home. Away from other people.]

It'll be late soon. Probably shouldn't cross the river like that.

1/2

[mooninthewater]

[ For a moment, Mizuki's eyes trail away from Vash, towards where the river is. He knows that everyone knows he's Seaborn now, and while people might not know what "Seaborn" truly are, surely the words "Born" and "Sea" would give some indication that the water doesn't really phase him all that much. But… ]

[mooninthewater]

…Mister Vash, sorry, but I've mentioned before I'm not a very smart person. Are you saying that because you don't want to say… "I don't want you here right now"? Because, if that's the case, I would understand it better if you just told me that…

[ He won't mention why he's out here. Saying "I was following you around to see what you were doing" never went well for him back home, so… ]

Regardless of whatever the case might be, though, I would really like to stay to talk with my friend a bit…?

[simplicitas]

[It's really hard not to notice a new building going up when the river is a) Elsword's haunt and b) he can literally see Vash's house from one of the loft windows. Elsword can't help but wonder why he'd build that far out, but he supposes he took the best real estate location everyone needs their privacy!

Housewarming gifts are nice, though, so Elsword is going to bring Vash something. A couple books he bought from Heimr and some bread he baked with Mizuki (after 600 attempts, this was the only good one). It's easy for him to cross the river since he has wings, so he just flies on over and lands...

...just in time to hear Vash being distressed. Um.]

...is everything okay?

[oleaeuropaea]

[Under any other circumstance, Vash might have told Elsword to get lost (politely, probably). Given his winged advantage, though. his presence actually might prove to be useful. For now, his desire to shelter away from others is replaced in favor of figuring out what the hell is happening with his damn piano.

He rushes over to the other man, all but gripping his shoulders.]

Did you see someone leaving?! He would have been my height. Lighter hair. Mole on the other side of his face -

[simplicitas]

[Elsword's wings half-fold at his back as Vash runs at him. He was going to put them away, but...]

I didn't see anyone, no. I mean— I saw the house spring up from my house across the river, but I didn't see anyone besides you and Mister Heimr and Miss Ydalir. I can fly around and check the area, though, if you want.

Oh, and here. These are for you. [Shoves books and bread in Vash's hands, no he will not take these back he is Not like Ydalir you're gonna have to kill him first] For your new house and stuff.

LATER

[oleaeuropaea]

[The problem with the people of the grove is that they don't understand the depths of Vash's monstrosity. How could they, when Vash had been hiding it away. He'd been ready to confess it to Wolfwood, only to have it blow up in his face. And rather than looking past his own damn self and considering the real problem, he's continuing to simper over his own problems.

And what better to do than consult his damn diary notebook. The boy is good at writing dramatic ass letters.]

Residents of Aldric's Grove

I, Vash the Stampede, have lied to you since arriving here. I made you believe that I was a good, safe person to be around. This is not correct. Back home, I was known as the Humanoid Typhoon. I am the most wanted criminal on the Planet, for crimes such as murder, destruction of property, vandalism, and theft of valuable life support systems.

Tens of thousands of people are dead because of me. I will no longer make any attempt to deny this. Instead, I ask that you seriously consider the list of sins I have written here and judge them for their severity.

They are, in order:

-Destroyed the fleet of Project SEEDs, carrying multiple thousands of lifesupport pods.
-Allowed the death of my own mother
-Crashed the remaining humans on an unlivable planet, forcing them to adapt to a brutal climate unsuited to them.
-Abandoned my brother
-Destroyed multiple towns and cities
-Caused the death of many more men, women, and children in multiple towns
-Failed to deliver on promises to multiple children who had put their faith in me

Given the severity of my actions, I suspect that I will no longer be welcome within this town. As such, I have constructed a home at the very edge of the area, across the river. I will only enter town for food and necessities.

I apologize for the grief I have caused everyone. I do not expect forgiveness. I only expect your understanding of the person I truly am and appropriate action as such.

Thank you

- Vash.

[succiduous]

[Gnosis can't help but read this and think "Ok" at it, not because he doesn't care but just... This is truly typical Rhodes Islander behaviour. If you're not a war criminal you have rock cancer and need treatment. The landship has actual, honest to God war criminals on it, like the girl who made everyone go insane with her emotion-controlling Arts and it resulted in hundreds of dead people.

He debates responding for a bit. But everyone's crimes are being aired out, and Gnosis figures he has nothing to lose in purgatory, so.]

This is Gnosis Edelweiss.

Respectfully, you are not the only liar, and you are not the only person with blood on your hands. I'm not sure what this is about, and I don't need to know, and I don't care to know either. You're addressing a Grove full of sinners and asking for condemnation, when everyone here is more likely to offer absolution instead.

If we must lay our sins bare for you to get the picture that you're welcome here, very well. Here are mine, in order:

- Got my best friend and future husband kidnapped at age 8
- My family was then accused of murdering his parents when we were 10, and the crime was pinned partially on me. I don't deny it, even knowing we were framed. Perhaps it was my fault for spending so much time around him.
- I conspired with him to elect his sister as Kjerag's Saintess, knowing it would damn her for the rest of her life to live alone on Mount Karlan, knowing she did not want to do this, solely so that we could instate a puppet ruler within Kjerag.
- He and I spent the remainder of our time conspiring against the Kjeragi government to overthrow them entirely, and while we had what I maintain is good reason to do this, I will be the first to admit that the moral complex was not entirely there. It involved framing the other Clans for murder, poisoning a religious figurehead, and sparking a civil war.
- After all of this, I proceeded to make one of the only friends I ever made hate me, which I almost certainly deserved.
- Oh, and I also nearly assassinated my husband for the bit.

And then, my miscellaneous crimes in no order:

- Bombed a railroad bridge
- Conducted human experiments, noted by peers to be cruel and unusual, with the eventually goal of curing Oripathy
- Infiltration, spying, larceny, murder in the name of company ideals...

All of this is to say: You're not special. Please shut up.

[wow]

[oleaeuropaea]

[Maybe, maybe, maybe, Vash could have forgiven Gnosis for most of his actions. Perhaps he'd had the best of intentions. Perhaps his hand was forced. He could have had any number of reasons for what he did, and Vash would have found it in his heart to summon forgiveness.

Human experimentation, though...

He doesn't know everything about what Knives has done, or the intentions of those working under him. What he does know is that children have suffered and died under experiments run by those under him.

He thinks of Wolfwood, a product of those self-same experiments, and feels something ugly rise up in his throat.]

and you don't feel anything?
no remorse?
do you regret what you did?
what you put those poor people through?!

[Glass houses and stones, Vash the Stampede...]

[livlaughlove]

[After some time, somebody in this shithole is just going to underline that last line, but not add anything.

You're not special. Please shut up.

It's already perfect.]

[mooninthewater]

[ A little bobomb sticker is put next to "bombed a railroad".

Little songbirds are put around the rest of the entry, along with anything that looks even a little science-y and then, an adorable leopard (of the non-snow variety, unfortunately, he's making due with what he has-) next to "husband". He puts a bird next to it for good measure.

He also puts a strike through "you're not special," for good measure. Sorry, Livio. ]

[neckromancy]

Gods above, you monster! What’s next, refusing to help an old woman across the road? Laughing at cats stuck in trees?

No, no! Don’t answer that! I don’t think my poor heart could take it.

[oleaeuropaea]

You aren't funny.
Just so you know.

[reaperbunny]

Cool. Do you want, like, a cookie?

I have the ability to see who Satan considers a sinner, but never the severity of their sins. Yet I had to kill one a day for him anyway. I'm over 100 years old, I'm sure you can do the math there.

Also

"Failed to deliver on promises to multiple children" so did Santa Claus. They got over him, too.

[oleaeuropaea]

[Just gonna ignore the Santa Claus bit. Even if he is grinding his teeth over here.]

and you feel no remorse for it?

[sesa]

[Sesa reads this over. Then he reads it once more. He's seen that many others have already responded in a way he would have expected, so...he opts to take a different approach on it.

Not a very noble one. In fact, it is actually quite cowardly, he thinks to himself. But perhaps it will help.]

Hello, Vash. This is Sesa.

I don't know what compelled you to tell us of these things, and I'm certain the root cause is none of my business. My realm is currently embroiled in a tumultuous war, one that both engaged parties and civilians are forced to partake. I, too, am forced to partake as a result of the path I have chosen to walk, and therefore I am certain many have suffered as a direct result of the weapons I craft, to say nothing of the pursuit of my ideals. I detest war, and consider myself to be a pacifist, but. To divorce myself from it entirely would be disingenuous.

But I have not put pen to paper to talk about myself. In contrast to the things you have described, they are but a drop in the bucket, I am sure. Instead, I wish to speak of

A colleague
An acquaintance
A fr

There is an individual from my home who has committed a great many atrocities, all of which he has admitted to me first hand. They were for no war, no greater purpose...merely the pursuit of revenge. An eye for an eye, you see. Someone like that I should rightly ostracize according to your text, for they would be nothing but a negative influence upon my life, making it worse simply for being in it.

And yet...time and again, I cannot bring myself to push them away. I know the things they have done are unforgivable, all the same in knowing that their crimes do not make them who they are. They are an unfortunate product of circumstance, not destructive without reason, but reacting to things beyond their own control...as I imagine most any of us would. For is that not what we are? Human, beast, all grasping in the darkness, simply trying to feel something. Trying to make a connection.

If he were to have made this same exact post as you have today, I do not think I would be able to turn him away. This is not a call to action as you think it is, Vash. It is a cry for help.

[nforcing]

[ Have fun reading the toddler-esque writing from N here, Vash. He's doing his best. ]

Hi.

This is a lot of werds and i read slow, but i think your sad ??
its ok. pepul at the grove are here tugath tugether. we will support u!

heres a dog to help u feel beter. [ N draws weird looking giraffe that's probably supposed to be a dog. ]

[mooninthewater]

[ People aren't being very nice to his friend, but perhaps it's because everyone just want the best for Vash, too? Hm. Regardless, he's going to pull out the bag of stickers he has and start putting the ones with affirming messages all around Vash's entry, topped with little suns and happy looking mushrooms.

At the very bottom, he writes: ] We talked already. If you need a distraction, Sesa and I are playing video games (Mario Party!) in the Therapy building here in a bit.

[simplicitas]

hi Mr. Vash it's Elsword!

I just want to say some things too. I'm sorry my hand writing is bad, I didn't have parents growing up

[oh you're just gonna open with that huh]

I'm a little brother myself and my sister left me when I was ten, but I still love her. Shes the most important person to me. I'm sure your brother still loves you too!

And none of me or my friends are free of this stuff either. My friend Ciel was in the mafeea and my friend Raven killed a lot of people while he was mind controlled and my friend Ain has been blowing up parts of elrios but I still love them. My hands are covered in blood too cause I've killed a lot of people in the name of war. I missunderstood demons as something entirely evil and killed a lot of them when I shouldn't have. I made a lot of mistakes. I can't remember most of them now because of my amnesia but I know I did horible things.

I forgive you Vash
And I still love you too!!!

[devilishkouhai]

This is BB BABY!!!

WOW!! The worse of the worse, if I weren't an AI and constrained to rules like being unable to kill humans - I'd have done WORSE than you myself.

Okay anyway, now that I have everyone's attention on being a bad bitch and all. Do you realize how stupid this is?

Wah wah wah, look at me I killed thousands of people - yeah, and? Do any of you not come from, Earth? I have spent thousands of years watching over - ok, well not me, but technically all that data is me now. So that's beside the point - don't worry about details. Like I was saying, every miserable shit stain pathetic excuse of a human being,you are all the same.

War, war, war, war, you are all committed war criminals from decades-long generational killings that no one wants to take responsibility for!!!! And then you just DO MORE KILLING!!

It's hilarious insane, pathetic, and fun to watch actually. [ Not really, it's not the killings she enjoys actually. ]

Like for real??? Don't worry because when you die, there's going to be someone far worse than you could ever be.

That will be born,
grow up,
and live right after you.

[ BB is scribbling in cursive - mind you, I am not going to do that to anyones eyes. She has a bunch of hearts above anywhere there is an 'I' and seems to obnoxiously draw little tiny faces here and there. ]

I PUT THIS IN THE WRONG PLACE

[alligatus]

[ Lancelot is just observing everything in this book and his only thought as he slams shut the book with the loudest clap of pages against each other, was: What the fuck is wrong with all of you? ]

[amhran]

[ Once things seem to have quieted down, in the smallest bit of writing. Caoimhe begins to pen. Can tear stains even be seen in the book? 'Cause like if you can, you will see ink potentially bleeding into the pages from evident tears that have fallen from her face. As she attempts to write her entire comment. ]

I think that everyone is special, and I think - because of that reason. No one should have to silence their truths.

From the lands I am from, we believe in the power of words and knowledge. That these things must be shared, and always carefully spoken into life. They say that Gods feared the living. That living kind held power when they spoke words. That even Gods could bend beneath them. Words we were taught, were our power. Knowledge shared, all knowledge given. We were taught all of this. That even when the Gods outlived us. Our stories could too.

It is worse for ware, I have read so much from this strange Wonderous Item. This book, where we can speak freely, in a way that maybe vocally we could not unto one another.

I see that we all carry shames, guilts, and pains that make us feel feeble and worthless. That makes it seem as if, silence would do better, and that sharing any experience you feel, holds no worth. I want you to know that this is untrue.

To share is power, to share your own truth is strength.

Especially when it is you feel you have done wrong into the world.

There is no greater power, than reconciling with what you have done and letting those around you cast judgment accordingly. Rather than take away from us, you have given us the ability to see the truth and react accordingly.

You, have given us the power to do that and I thank you.

Thank you for giving me the ability to choose, whether or not I still feel safe with you.

Such kindness cannot be overlooked, and your words will be cherished and held in high regard to me.

My people believe, in those who can hold the Beast at its reigns. They are the most truly powerful people, I wish for you to know. That among my people, would would be revered - not celebrated. Revered, acknowledged, and respected for the truth you shared. They would ask you about your experiences, hoping that in what you share. None will follow thus in your footsteps. To enact the harm that you mourn over.

Your story would be passed along, so long as we remain upon the realm. To prevent others, from making the same choices ever again.

Yes, I want you to know though. I have seen the way it troubles you and understand now the words of peace you strive for. I too feel that way.

I too, have blood upon my own hands. I too, cause the death of many. I had thought what me and my companions were doing, would end in a better way. Instead, as we foolishly called out this entity that we knew had grand power backing it. To face an entire people, and tell to them how their truths. Tell to them, that they were using the natives, for their own selfish gains. To make them kill more people around them, so the Beast could feed on souls. In our ignorance, he had turned there into a monster. Slaughtering hundreds of children, the elderly, and the people of the Grasslands.

Thousands died, and after we finally had come to defeat him. I stood there, watching my companions act as if we did no wrong. I knew better though, I knew differently. It was then and there, I had first murdered someone with my own hands. Rather than see to it, the entity was brought before another for justice. I had killed him there, with an arrow to his head.

Before long I realized under my companions, we did so much wrong. We turned our backs on a city that called for help, because we felt like journeying and exploring the catacombs would serve a better purpose.

We gambled time and time again, even if my desperate attempts were made. Attempts to stop them, or make them listen. They did not, and thus... I did not try hard enough, I did not do more - and because of this, especially since I was two centuries older than each of them. I failed so many people.

As is my shame, and the penance I bear. The pain like so many of us feel, and wish to know what the answer to it is.

I remember, there are so many souls dead for it. That I cannot beg for forgiveness or act as if I am owed freedom from it. No. I will take reigns on what it is that burdens my heart, and acknowledge the shame, fears, and disgust of myself I feel of it. From there, I will do better.

I will always do better.

I will live, because they cannot.

I will remember them, because that is my duty.

And to them, I will make certain the pains that I feel remain.

Because I at least owe it to them that much, and it will be my penance.

As I live day by day, and smile with the people I Love. I will remember too, that people died because of me. That in my own happiness, I will always feel pain - but that is okay. I will not forget them, and I will be alive. That pain in my burden, and I will gladly carry it with me as I live day by day. Knowing, that this is my penance.

I know that it may not help you, knowing the pains that you feel will not go away. I merely hope that you too, could bare those burdens. To continue striving for the peace you wish to see and fight for. I know, any soul that has passed on - would wish for nothing more than to see a world where no lives can be abruptly ended. I know that, there is no shame in fighting for it.

For anyone who may read this.

I think you are special and amazing for still keeping it together despite everything you may feel or experience. Please never stop existing, and remembering all that you have done as you look into the bright future that you are deserving of.

No matter what it was, you had done.

You can do better. I can do better. We can, do better.

The future, can be better.

I will strive for a world, that will be better than the one I live in today. Always.

Thank you for reading,

Caoimhe of the Tuatha de

some [vague] time after the uh. novel

[livlaughlove]

[Vash's one saving grace is that the river is frozen over. Livio isn't sure he would ford frigid water as opposed to walking over ice just to check on Vash right now. (He probably would, because talking sense into Vash might help Nick, but.)

Even standing outside the dinky little hut, Livio hesitates for a ridiculous amount of time before finally knocking.

He doesn't know what in the hell he's going to say. Or do. Which... could be dangerous. But he knows that right now, Vash is only digging himself deeper with Nick, and probably the entire grove. So... he feels like he has to attempt something. He just tries to put on the most neutral face he can manage before Vash answers the door.

If it's still a little bit of a scowl, well... who could blame him?]

[oleaeuropaea]

[The saddest part is, Vash opens the door. Some part of him wants to hope it's Wolfwood, you see. He's bared his soul now, proven that he could be vulnerable and open. Now he'll understand that Vash can't help the way that he is. He's just afraid to get close, and scared that he doesn't deserve good things after everything he's done wrong.

(He hasn't sat down to really think about Wolfwood's words, yet. Only the anger. Only the bruises.)

To say that he's disappointed to see Livio is an understatement. What little hope blooms on his face is swiftly extinguished the moment he spots the bulky, tattooed man. He starts to shrink back, hand going to the door once more.]

I said you should leave me alone, Livio.